10) Sick of own mother shouting, "BOOTY CALL" every time she sees Morneau.
9) Avenging history of Canadian aggression against home nation of Fatassia.
8) Aim off due to finger blister from spending two hours voting for Jordin Sparks after American Idol previous night.
7) Morneau didn't invite him to tenth bday party; had to stay home and "play with his Han Solo."
6) Temporarily taken over by spirit of crazed, obese lefty.
5) Brad Radke's mom called him a pussy.
4) Up all night: Sex in the City Marathon on TBS!
3) Ass rash.
2) Enraged over Michiko Kakutani's hatchet job on latest Don DeLillo's new book; feels it's his most astute novel since White Noise.
1) He's a dick.
See, what happened CC overheard me (an Indians fan) talkin' about Morneau being a hottie the other day, and got jealous. He had to take Morneau out. I'm like "CC! It's okay! I'm not switching allegiances! He's just, you know. He's kind of hot! And a little crazy. In that hot way."
But CC, man. CC is fierce. He thought he had to put Justin in his place.
Sorry, Dr. Neau, but our tragic, doomed love is never to be, for your own protection. *sniff*
Posted by: Ang at May 17, 2007 10:39 PM