This entry posted by Twayn, who likes rabbits and other furry animals.

Minnesota at Cleveland. Twins 7, Indians 15.

The low evening sun silhouetted the two men, one small, one very large, both clad in dungarees and chambray shirts, casting long shadows as they walked deliberately down First Avenue then veered north, skirting the railroad tracks until they reached the wrinkled, pocked surface of a large commercial parking lot.

“Okay, I want you to take a good look around so’s you’ll remember this place.”

“It’s a parkin’ lot, George. In…uh, um…Saint Apples!”

“Dang it, Lenny, you can’t get nothin’ straight in your head! It’s Minneapolis. Minni-ap-o-lis. St. Paul’s on the other side the river. That’s where we slept last night.”

“Don’t get mad at me, George. I’ll remember. The parking lot in Minneapolis. And if I ever get in trouble, this is where I should come.”

“That’s right. Only it won’t be a parking lot for long. Next week, why, they’ll bring in the bulldozers and start rippin’ up this old blacktop. Then they’ll start building a new stadium.”

“A new stadium, George?”

“Well, not really no stadium, Lenny. Stadiums is where you watch football and monster truck rallies. This here will be a ballpark.”

“Tell me, George, tell me about the ballpark. Tell how it’s gonna be, you and me at the game.”

“Oh, it’ll be a dandy of a ballpark, awright. It’ll have a beautiful manicured field inside it with real green grass that shines like an emerald, and comfortable seats all around that point right at the field, and the city skyline in the background for ambiance. And you can sit in the summer sunshine or the cool of an evening and take in a ballgame, and it’ll be so much better that people won’t mind paying a little bit more for a ticket or to buy a sausage and beer.”

“Will there be transit, George? And inferstructure?”

“Shoot yes, Lenny! You want to talk about transit and infrastructure? Steps away from the light rail line to the entrance gates, plenty of parking garages just blocks away.”

“Tell about the revenue again, George. Tell how the revenue’s gonna be.”

“Oh, the Twins’ll be rakin’ it in. Just wallowin’ like hogs in cash. Advertising, naming rights, concessions, corporate sponsorhips, luxury suites, merchandising, you name it. Why, they’ll have to move piles of money just to get to the crapper. They’ll be able to keep Johan and Joe and the Chairman and the MVP and Cuddy and Torii 'til they all retire. Shoot, they’ll be able to get a third baseman that can hit and still keep Nicky Punto just cause he's fun to have around.”

“But the Twins are doin’ bad now, George. Tell how it will be when they don't suck no more. Tell about that again.”

“Well, you see Lenny, the Twins is fella’s just like us. They got nobody but each other to look out for ‘em. Only they got the kind of team has to play the right way. Got to have strong starting pitching and good defense and a bullpen you can count on, like I can count on you and you can count on me. They need the little guys like me to get on base and run around a lot so the big guys like you can clobber the ball and drive in runs.”

“Only they ain’t doin’ that so good, George.”

“No they ain’t, Lenny. But they will, ‘cause this is a good team. Remember that old bus we rode up here on? Had four cylinders, but they was all out of timing and she run all rough and sputtery. Get all them cylinders to fire right and you got a smooth ride. Same with the Twins. Once they got the pitching and hitting and catching and throwing all goin’ at once, then they'll stop sucking. One of these days they’ll get everything to click and keep it goin’, game after game, and it will sure be somethin’ to see.”

“An’ the Twins will kick the Indians’ butts. And the White Sox’s butts, and the Tigers’ butts, and win the division and the pennant and the World Series, an’ live off the fat o’ the land!”

“Dang right they will, Lenny. Dang right.”

Posted by twayn at May 15, 2007 11:48 PM