His secret really sucks. Hopefully next he'll envision himself not going to AAA and not being replaced by the GZA.

"visualized his teammates hoisting him up on their shoulders, only a few of them meeting their untimely deaths as a result"

Beautiful.

And here I thought F.A. Ponson would be the b.o.d.

p.e.m.

Is pseudoscience in hubris?

Piranhta "Blinded" Chew.

LegoVision for 2007? PLLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE! :D

"Well, my friend," said Redmond, "Your secret sucks." I love it :)

his secret most definetly sucks.

Can Matt Garza not be a secret anymore? Please?

Heh, Pickles, we know you want LegoVision for 2007. Really. We do. ;)

What a painful outing to watch. Maybe if he lost his flowing mane, he'd do better? Like an Anti-Samson?

Dear Mr/Ms Pickles,

Batgirl adores doing the LegoVision, but it is extremely time-comsuming and in these days of baby-haze will probably be very sparing. But Batgirl would be surprised if the Legos didn't come out at some point.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

Batgirl, thanks for this uplifting report on LegoVision for this year amidst your motherly duties. I know we all want LegoVision (some more than others :P)

Unofficial B.O.D. to LNP for that block(of Jeter/E-Rod I think) at third/on-the-neck play, not to mention the out :)

LNP's upside-down play was on Johnny Damon, if the captions on Yahoo are to be believed.

[ "Sitting next to a completely naked man…" ]

Thanks, BG. I now need a new cup of coffee, and a new keyboard.

And for those who are preparing their 'Free Garza' shirts (where *did* I put that silk-screening table?), I'd also point out this line from last night:
IP H R ER BB SO
Perkins 6.0 2 1 1 1 2

" "Once he started mixing up his pitches and moving it in and out I think he went through innings three, four and five pretty solid, really," Gardenhire said, "Actually, he had pretty good stuff tonight. He left a few pitches up, but overall he gave us a chance after those first couple innings." "

I knew, watching the game last night, that that was what was going to happen. I turned to Jlubby and said, "You know, Gardy's going to say 'In between the parts where he sucked, he was really pretty good.'" I hate being right.

It's gonna take awhile for Sir Sid to be sent away.

I hate to be a dissenter, but what I saw from Ponson didn't suck nearly as much as the home plate ump's indecipherable strike zone.

And does Kubel perhaps need an optometrist? Anyone?

"...reaching down to scratch a testicle..."

You HAD to throw that in there. Now that image will be in my brain all freaking day.

Thanks heaps, BG.

For the most part, Ponson wasn't that bad. At first, they were just getting lucky hits. The home runs--those were just simply bad pitches.

Also, if Ponson thinks that Jeter is cute, that might be the root of his problems.

Aside from Santana, there's not a single starting pitcher in the Twins organization who I'd be surprised to see have an outing like that against the Yankees. It happens. Ponson may or may not pan out, but he shouldn't be judged on last night alone.

The questions is...

"reaching down to scratch a testicle"

Whose testicle?

D

Yeah, as much as I'd like to see Garza sooner, rather than later, I'm not going to dis Sidney too much for last night.

Couple of pretty cheap hits early and a LOT of misplayed balls by the defense (I think Bartlett is STILL kicking that ball around the turf and trying in vain to pick it up) sure didn't help him much. And let's face it, if we're going to look for players to blame for that loss, there are some guys in the so-called heart of the batting order that should get their share. You screw around and score 2 measley runs against the Yankees, you don't win, period.

You're right, JC, but starting off in a 5-0 hole after two lousy innings isn't exactly a confidence builder to the offense, or the defense for that matter.

Oh, well, Sid - go feast on a few dozen more deep-fried bacon-wrapped Twinkies (just imagining that delectable confection had me laughing for three minutes straight) and dream of your next outing; it could well be your last in a Twins uniform. (I sure hope so.)

I tuned in just in time to see Jason bobble the ball during a 5-0 deficit. I couldn't watch much longer. Your secret does suck, Sidney.

Stiffness continues:
Rincon threw in the bullpen on Monday afternoon, but Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said that he still looked very sore and stiff. Rincon has not pitched since last Tuesday, when he threw one-third of an inning against the Orioles. The right-hander woke up on Saturday morning in Chicago with a stiff neck, a problem that he thinks was caused by sleeping on it wrong.

"He left his special pillow at home and now has a sore neck," Gardenhire said. "It sounds like [Corey] Koskie with the special pillows. But hopefully, he's back to his special pillow now

maybe the all the Twins special pillows are missing?!?!?!?!?! And that really is the secret?!?

much love
Wonder Woman

I appreciate the optimism shown by a few of you guys... but trust me. This man will break your heart. He will turn in four good innings an outing, four good innings that make you think, "Maybe." Then there's the fifth inning.

I hope I'm wrong, but... yeah.

Thanks BG, I needed a pick-me-up after that game. granted I fell asleep in the 3rd inning...

Sir Sid owed the Yankees a whole lot of money from last year (turns out it was in his contract that he had to *pitch*), and he didn't have any cash so last night was his attempt to pay off the debt.

Frankly, I think the Sanjaya comment sums Ponson up. That and the letters 'WTF'.

Matt Garza needs to come back. And now just because he is gorgeous. He can PITCH.

I went to the game. First game I've been at this year. Wow, was it depressing. I give Ponson one more outing to impress mightily, then he *must* be rolled out the door. I say thrown, but ....

I'm not sure who those guys in the Twins jerseys were last nite but they surely weren't our beloved timely hitting, solid defensively, smart running, sharp pitching team we've come to enjoy watching!! that was ugly from top to bottom.. The youth is being served already as Casilla and Rabe are in tonite, unfortunately the youthful pitchers will have to wait through a few more of what we saw last nite....hope its sooner than later,,, and last but not least Bartlett better get it together, Gardy's gonna lose his patience with him again....win twins

Hilarious. Only word for it.

Look what those mommy hormones are doing to your writing BG. Teehee. For once I wasn't drinking anything while reading this... I might owe UW a new keyboard.

Yes, I have read the beginning of that book also. "The Secret" it is SO dumb! I will say that Sidney did not fair too well. Would I rather have Garza in the rotation? Definitely, but I am gonna support that chubby Ponson until the Twins make that decision. Really, it was the Yankees. Have you looked at their lineup?!?

Thanks for this entry. Disturbing images of last night's game have been replaced by even more disturbing images of Redmond in the raw.

While he did suck, he wasn't the only one sucking out there.
Bartlett and Kuble both sucked pretty hard on plays. DJ Cuddles is obviously thinking about someting other than running the bases. Go take another honeymoon and get it out of your system, it's time to get your head in the game.
And I swear I thought we would be talking about Silva this way. I guess I should be happy we weren't talking about how Silva and now Ponson pitched like crap.

of course you aren't talking about Silva this way! did you read what Silva said about his outing, what he has been working on all Spring with Anderson? and did you read what Anderson said about how he's handling his slew of oft-maligned veteran "re-treads"? (here i am siting in particualr his comments on Ortiz's outing.) it is all about damage control - you know these guys are going to give up some runs - the hope is that they don't give up too many runs all at once. how to do that? just relax - don't sweat it - it happens. loosen up & throw to the mitt - just throw strikes, let the ball do what it does. in Ortiz's case, change speeds. in Silva's, let the sinker work. but in all cases, to do that, don't get tight, don't bear down. i'm not surprised to find its Ponson who has difficulty learning this lesson.

“The questions is...
'reaching down to scratch a testicle'
Whose testicle?” -dan in london
Thanks a lot.

Good point dfb.

And it looks like Cirillo is scheduled to undergo arthroscopic surgery this week, so I guess he will be out for some time. Looks like it's good bye Cirillo hello Casilla. Good bye White (it sounds like not for very long) Hello Rabe.

Is it just me or have the ass-bats reappeared?

Did anyone else hear the comment about the Doctor having "strength of a lumberjack"? That's our Canadian.

Rough night for Bartlett, and poor little Nicky getting pummeled by Damon who did look very sorry.

Domeward bound!

Here's hoping they can't handle the Boof.

Well, Ponson's secret really sucks, but I think Scott Baker and Nutty's secret wouldn't suck as much...Plus, we'd have Nutty the Nut Cup back too. And that, wouldn't suck.

all-

our boys need to regroup, get behind the Boof, and catch the ball, throw the ball, and hit the ball, ah, really well. I'll be at the game tonight, Tues., and I'd like to leave the comfortable 70 degrees domeicial with a smile on my face.

Go Twins,
kal

While I am worried about Ponson and the current ineptitude of our defense, I'm more worried about Dick Bremer. He sounded absolutely awful last night!

"...that cutie-pie Jeter..."

Ew. I don't feel so well. I think I'm gonna be sick. :P

Free Garza.

As a side note, Petttttttttitttttttttttte is my anti- boyfriend. I hate him. Even though I used to love him. He took my heart and stomped on it by going back to NY.

All pitchers have bad outtings and all teams seem to forget how to catch or hit balls here and there.. I don't know why but I do know that our Twins are frequently the culprits.

When they all do it at the same time?? yeah, you have the series against the Yankees in April of 2007.

Funny thing is, there will be more games and everyone with eventually remember what they were supposed to be doing out there!

I don't want to be a negative nancy, but Bartlett hasn't been handling the pressure of being Dash's boyfriend all that well.

Yes, it was only one outing and it was against the Yankees line up but oh how disappointing. A few more starts like that and Garza better be packing his bags.

Wow, that stunk.