That would have to be one tiny unicore, to come out of LNP's ass.

The recap soothes the balm. And at least the BitchSox lost. And
Nick Markakis, though undeniably cruel to the Jackal, is in fact a deserving young man.

Markakis was pretty incredible. Is there any chance we're going to see more of Nick's song?

Well - we didn't lose ground to the Sox so it wasn't horrible that we lost and Markakis went all Hee Sop Choi on Carlos

How can Little Nicky Punto always be so full of sunshine?!?

Much Love
Wonder Woman

Didn't think I could laugh about that performance by the Jackyl (Jack All?) tonight, but the image of LNP as a songbird did just that. Thanks BG. And thank-you Detroit.

I gotta ask... if Markakis can hit 3 dingers in one game... a couple of them LONG ones... how is it that Tyner cant hit any? I guess Tyner doesn't get to hit off of Silva when his sinker doesnt.. well.. sink.

ah well... tomorrow's another day.

And.. did anyone notice, not only did Lohse get a win for Cincy tonight but I think I saw that he went 3 for 4 at the plate... who woulda thought that instead of having him pitch, Gardy shoulda been DH'ing him?

I wonder if Nick's mom ever taught him the words to the old John Lee Hooker classic, "Boom Boom"?

"kiester a small unicorn, and pull it out of his ass"

I actually saw him do this live once when he and the Pirahas played the Dome on their "Zesty Sauce" tour. Made Gene Simmons look like one of the Backstreet Boys. Good times.

It put a frown on my face to see the score, but the score from the Bitch Sox game cheered me up. Temporarily, go Tigers!

Anywho, I find it ironic that my fav team was beaten by a guy that was in my High School graduating class (Woodstock HS, '01).

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, I can't spell my own fake name.

Little Nicky tries so hard. I am eagerly awaiting the batling (or member of team bat-girl) who puts the song to music for us all to hear--probably couldn't get LNP to record it until after the season, but I would buy it.

Is is bad to admit I went and walked the dog after the 5th inning?

As that other ray of sunshine Annie sings, "the sun will come out tomorrow" and Scarlet was right when she said "tomorrow is another day"

i must have been too busy hanging my head and weeping to watch nicky pull out that unicorn....or maybe it was all the orioles fans standing around me

whichever it was, im sorry i missed it

and rbi triples in the ninth are hottt

but it was a cruel joke to put latroy in to get our hopes up

well, heres to better luck tomorrow

Next time try an animal without a horn, LNP.

I sure feel better after Little Nicky Punto's song, which, considering the circumstances, is quite an accomplishment.

For some reason, this makes me think of "Birdhouse In Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants:

"Tiny hero in the infield by the base line
Who watches over you
Make a little Punto in your soul"

Lohse and the Reds Killed the Astros tonight. And I just got back from the best Met game of my life, and I'm pretty sure I just lost my voice from all the screaming.
I kept looking at the scoreboard and got all excited when I saw the Twins score 2 runs in the 9th but then got a little bummed when the final score said 6-3. Oh well, at least the Sox lost.

Yup, let's focus on passing those Sox and getting the Wildcard.

"Don't worry, Chief. Other than the solo homers, you pitched great!"
Well when you look at it that way... Thanks BG I needed that.
"Next time try an animal without a horn LNP." Good point ;-)

I smell a Punto/unicorn haiku challenge...

There should be a rule that if your batting average is under .300, You CAN NOT rip off the Chairman's sideburns!

::Click name for offender's picture.::

Er, I mean, "copy".

That would explain LNP's tendency to grab butts - he's checking for mythical creatures of delight.

Spacey Stacey, I think you're on to something:

"Tiny hero in the infield by the base line
Who watches over you
Let a little Punto in your soul

Not to put too fine a point inside
Watch the horn before putting in your backside,
Place a little uni in your hole."

On a note completely unrelated to sharp pointy things poking from the inside of one's rump, how do you think the Red Sox fans feel this lovely morning? We're still on track to meet in the playoffs, and that makes me smile...

YankeeFan

YankeeFan, my sincerest congratulations on the unicorn-up-the-butt you guys gave to the ECBS. I evaluated the situation, and it was clear that Boston needed to go down in flames. Now that they've been seriously damaged in their Wild Card run, I can go back to freely rooting for the Yankees to lose -- but for a brief moment, we were indeed on the same side.

So let the Punto in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win!

So let the Punto in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the Little Nicky in!

After everything I have learned about the Twins over the last decade or so, the following doesn't make sense. Can someone explain it to me?

YF

No hometown discount
Torii Hunter, who will earn $12M next season if the Twins pick up his option, wants to remain in Minnesota, but he won't accept a pay cut for 2007, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reports.
"I want to play in the new ballpark [in 2010], and there are some good players here, and we'll be good," Hunter told the newspaper. "The contract is out of my hands, though; I can't do anything about it. But if I don't play here, I'll be playing somewhere next year."

"Don't worry, Chief. Other than the solo homers, you pitched great!"

And, at least they were all solos. Could you imagine the pain if there had been men on base.

YF, it means that we'll have a new center fielder next season. Maybe one who doesn't strike out three times in a game.

The Twins have been hoping to restructure Hunter's deal so that less of the $12 million for next year hits all at once; they apparently have been hoping to sign him to a long-term deal for a more reasonable amount overall, and spread some of that 2007 salary out over the duration of the new contract. Why Torii says the contract is "out of (his) hands", though, is beyond me. This is what drives me nuts about Hunter - he really does talk out of both sides of his mouth about these things. It always feels like he's hedging, even more than most athletes tend to do when it comes to this kind of thing. (Have any of us ever heard a guy say, "I really have no desire to come back here" when he's talking about a new contract? I didn't think so.) I have personally grown tired of the games he seems determined to play - and even more tired of one undisciplined at-bat after another, particularly in clutch situations. Torii's a good guy overall, it seems, but it's time to move on.

Then again that report came from resident gossip columnist Shooter. I take it with a grain of salt until I read an actual article about it.

Ah, i love LNP's song. He's so awesome.

And I agree--I sat until the ninth ONLY because I knew LaTroy was in the bullpen. (My two favorite teams are the Twins and Cubs....I officially know how all the other teams have felt for the last 10 years. There's ALWAYS hope if LaTroy's in the other dugout.)

Just on a side note, did anyone see how well Kyle pitched again last night. I know its the national league, but I must be the only one that missed him!

Question is how long will Kyle keep pitching well? He has his little spurts where he does well. We will find out. It does help him that hitters have never seen him before.

"There should be a new way to record standings in this league. One column for wins, one for losses, and one for gifts."
- Gene Mauch

I'd say the O's can put that one in the gift column. The best team in baseball for the past 10 weeks defeated by two rookies. But that's the beauty of baseball...the improbable happens on a regular basis.

Regarding Kyle Lohse's recent dominance -- the National League is just silly this year. I wish him well there.

But even LNP couldn't bring sunshine into the Senior Division this year.

Describing Kyle's 1-0 record as "dominance" might be just a wee bit generous...and him going 3 for 4 just shows how good the opposing pitching must have been.

We had a Batling gathering in Baltimore last night. Though the Twins lost, fun was had by all...four of us who made it. Perhaps we'll have more next time!

My photos from the game are here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pavethewhales/sets/72157594248006678/

as a twins fan who loves the reds, i must say the lohse trade is working out better than i could have ever imagined. go kyle! nice rbi bunt single last night!

kyle's 1-0 record isn't really his fault. his era is 1.65 since moving to cincinnati (less than that in his four starts). and he hasn't given up more than 2 earned runs in any of his starts. his record is merely a sign of a lack of run support.

Woo- Looks like you kids had a great time. Gotta love Camden. I'm heading up there for Thursdays game with a couple of special friends (!) Hopefully Bonser won't Boof. Pictures will be posted on Friday...

"Not to put too fine a point inside
Watch the horn before putting in your backside,
Place a little uni in your hole."

BWA HA, YankeeFan! I tried to do that second part, but this is much, much better than anything I came up with. ;)

Reds fans better enjoy it while it lasts. Kyle is not as good as he has been showing in 4 starts. I wonder how long he will keep it up.

For those of you were weighing the relative merits of rooting for the White Sox or the Tigers in their series, may I say that rooting for the Bitch Sox is bad karma. Please cease and decist

Well, now that the Tigers have won two, the point is moot; obviously, the best thing now is for the Tigres to keep whompin' on the Bitches.

Christy, you must not be a big Twins fan - otherwise, you'd know the web of deceit Kyle is luring you into. We've all felt what you're feeling, only to be dashed to the pavement when he suddenly turns into Lyle and can't get anything over the plate for what feels like 7 1/2 months. But I admire your optimism.

Why no pictures of the Batlings from last night? We see the boys, we see Nick Markakis crossing the plate one of the 43 times he did so, we see a dejected-looking Jackal (that one is a bit too familiar for my taste), but no shot of the assembled Bat-crew. Very disappointing. We'll be there tomorrow, watching Boof do that voodoo that he do so well... My son has been saying "home run!" ever since I told him we were going to see the "Tins" (his pronunciation) this week. He is 3-0 at Twins games, so they can't lose. It'd break his little 17-month-old heart.

Great pics, Woo. Nicely composed, I might add. Just think, we too can watch games in a park like that in only 4 years. Four long years... Sigh.

Go Go Garza!

"Well, now that the Tigers have won two, the point is moot; obviously, the best thing now is for the Tigres to keep whompin' on the Bitches."

I can only agree, with all my heart, and also my spleen, liver, and both my soles.

See you in the playoffs, KenK. Good whompin'.

Nice pics, Woo.

I'm not sure why I didn't think to post a link to the pics of my Twins trip to The Jake here.

These are a month old now, but they do include a couple of The Franchise in happier times and at least one of the piranhas.

Better late than never, eh?

Click my name or paste this:
http://s86.photobucket.com/albums/k102/franorama/

a few LNP haikus:

Sawed-off, but steadfast,
Nicky is sharp on D, like
A unicorn’s horn

Our pint-sized Punto;
Tames unicorns in his mind
With grit in his heart.

See Nicky running.
Like a stallion? NO! Instead,
Like a unicorn.

Post-game for Punto,
Nicky waits to be picked up,
By what? A unicorn.

Unicorns, sugar.
Nicky loves both. Unicorn
On a stick? Yes Please.

Beware you Bitch Sox!
Nicky’s riding his magic
Fucking unicorn.

NICKY’s HAIKU CREDO:
Unibomber…bad.
Unibrows…they’re even worse.
Unicorns…perfect.

NICKY’s IDEA of a LOVE HAIKU
Can I lay with thee?
Birth my kids one horned-goddess.
“Puntocorns” … divine.

Carlos "sink or stink" Silva does not give me warm-fuzzies as our #3.

Jeez, we need Cisco to get well ...

"Puntocorns!"

I am in tears laughing, 87. Nice work :D

Yeah, forgot to take a pic of the group! Next time, perhaps.

Nice to see Garza put it together tonight.

As a Phillies' fan, I wonder why LNP never played that well for OUR team. Perhaps the organization wasn't willling to overlook his small stature-which would seem to be EASY to overlook.

He needed a smaller market. ;)

adidasman, sorry this response is a bit delayed... i know all too well the heartbreak that kyle can bestow upon fans, but reds fans have dealt with pretty much the worst pitching staff in the history of baseball over the past few years (aaron harang not included). so really, kyle being good for 4 starts before turning into lyle is enough to make us thankful. and who knows, maybe he'll surprise us! i remain guardedly hopeful.

this page is like, one of the funniest things i've read in like, forever! Puntocorns is pretty good. i gotta admit. better than anything i could of thought of. just for the record, i'm laughing really hard right now.