Kansas City at Twins. Twins 6, Royals 3.
We've discussed Crazy Pepe's Chug and Toss quite a bit this year—any number of our pitchers have engaged in some high-spirited bouts of the game this season. But Batgirl feels she has erred, for in her posts she seems to have glamorized CPC&T, and that is something one should never do. For, as we have seen tonight, there is a darker angle to Crazy Pepe's game, one which has caused it be banned in six countries.
Crazy Pepe's Chug and Toss, as regular readers know, involves chugging as much of your favorite beverage as you can and then throwing a ball ninety miles an hour wherever the heck you feel like it. If all goes well, before the night is done, you've beaned six or seven people.
But every once in awhile, a condition develops described in medical journals as "Crazy Pepe Rage," in which the body of the person who is chugging and tossing becomes slowly overwhelmed by the humor choler, which, according to medieval physicians, causes one to become peevish, irascible, and extremely pissed off. No one knows for sure what causes Crazy Pepe Rage—some say it is the chugging, some the tossing, some think it is something in the combination of chugging and tossing—but what is clear is that every once in a while in a game that celebrates fun and freedom and chugging and tossing, things go Way Too Far.
Like tonight. Here, J.C. Romero was having a perfectly respectable bout of CPC&T. There were no wild pitches or walks, unfortunately, which most really satisfying rounds have, but those two hit batsmen were something really gorgeous, something to be really proud of, something that would have made the venerable Crazy Pepe himself stand up and say Cheers!
But perhaps Gardy sensed something in J.C.'s posture, perhaps it was the wild look in his eyes, perhaps his skin took on the characteristic yellow tint of someone overcome with the humor so closely identified with bile. For right after the second hit batter, Gardy turned to Steve Liddle and said, "I think this round of Crazy Pepe's Chug and Toss is about to go Way Too Far." So Gardy went out to pull him and then, well, things got a little dark.
I don't want to go into too many details about what happened—let's just say J.C. started walking off the mound and as Gardy passed him he decided to make one more toss. As J.C. stormed into the dugout, Steve Liddle tried to stop him--I know you are suffering from Crazy Pepe Rage, he was going to say, but let's take it easy and do some deep meditative breathing like the Crazy Pepe Rage experts say. But JC would not have it. There was some finger pointing, there was some yelling, there were words said that would have made Crazy Pepe—really, a very mild-mannered chap—blush.
The thing that is very important about Crazy Pepe Rage is that you stop chugging and/or tossing immediately, because then things might go Way Way Too Far (see: tossing ball at Gardy) and Batgirl fears that when he went into the clubhouse JC Romero continued to chug/toss. We cannot be sure of course, but one thing is certain—as Kyle Lohse watched JC storm his way into the showers, he smiled to himself and muttered happily, "Who's Tantrum McSpazzyPants now?"
JC Romero's....tantrum....was interesting and I found myself yelling at the TV telling him to quiet down and that he shouldn't do that. But as we all know, yelling at the TV doesn't really accomplish things...although I wish it would sometimes.
Other than that, the game was nice. :) Especially Luis Rodriguez! Hearing great things said about Luis Rodriguez makes me happier than words can say. :)
But hey, we won. Nathan got his 41st save, 85th in his tenure here, and it's all good. :)
JC just needs to breathe in, breathe out. Try it, JC, sometimes it works.
But yeah, I'm gonna stop rambling now :)
Posted by: Candace at September 28, 2005 10:40 PMas a spectator sport though, CPC&T is often very entertaining...
I wish I could have seen the version tonight.
Posted by: CapitalBabs at September 28, 2005 10:50 PMi went to a soccer game this evening that sounds like this game! there was some onfield rioting and some of the players started yelling... its almost like i was at the baseball game, apparently!
Posted by: Hannah! at September 28, 2005 10:54 PMOK, I totally accept 100% of the blame for this...
If you look back a few threads to the one about Lohse's tantrum, you will see that I commended J.C. for not throwing a comparable fit despite also being unhappy.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's replay of tonight's game, as I only saw JFC's back as he walked off... plus, I was too busy watching Jesse walk on, so I didn't see much of JFC's tantrum. but I did see the entire Twins bench empty as they all ran to the hallway to watch Gardy rip him a new one. good work, JFC! have fun on your new team next year! please!
but an excellent win, despite the melodrama! it was awful nice of Twitchy to finish the game of CPC&T with that, um, "throw" to first. and it was equally nice of him then to switch to Closer and sit the bitches down so Jesse could earn his 12th win and very first BOD.
Posted by: kafumbly at September 28, 2005 11:36 PMwow, i just saw a very disturbing statistic. Today's game was the first in 19 games that the Twins DIDN'T hit into a DP, that's the longest streak in the expansion era...
Also, where did CPC&T originate? I know I've seen it referenced before, and it sounds like a fun game to play, but I cant remember the first use.
Oh and did anyone else notice we're halfway to the goal of the Quest for 500? It sure would be nice if they could win out the season for the starters, they deserve at least that.
Posted by: TwinsInBoston at September 29, 2005 12:43 AMI think we knew that J.C. Romero wanted out of Minnesota. It looks like he's of the Billy Martin School of How to Write Your Own Ticket Out of Town.
Posted by: frightwig at September 29, 2005 02:33 AMI did hear from those watching the game, that radio didn't do justice to CPC&T. I was in the car, which doesn't get cable reception, so radio was all I had. It was pretty good on the radio, too. And it's even better on Batgirl, because everything is better on Batgirl.
TwinsInBoston-thanks for that stat. While 19 games in a row is sad, at least it's over!
Posted by: Just Beth at September 29, 2005 07:43 AMHm.
I think Batgirl has a good point.
Anyone notice how it's always the....um....struggling pitchers who get CPR (nice acronym...)
Except Mays. He can play CPC&T all he wants, he never gets CPR. He must have a high tolerance. Either that, or he's just a happy drunk.
Posted by: NY-Brian at September 29, 2005 08:52 AMMr. Mays -has a better attitude then JC and Kyle thats why he doesn't get the CPR
Well I'm surprised the potty behind the dugout didn't come flying out after JC went back there -hmm -maybe he took a bat to it instead.
Arms were flying - the bench guys were trying to get in between Gardy - JC and all the other coaches -poor - poor Francisco - he was sitting by the camera well when JC threw -his hat -glove onto the bench - JC scared him - I think!
It must have been a very 'noisy' walk up the clubhouse steps - I don't know too many curse words in Spanish- but I'm guessing -a few were uttered.
Much Love
Wonder Woman
Well I'm surprised the potty behind the dugout didn't come flying out after JC went back there -hmm -maybe he took a bat to it instead.
He probably couldn't figure out how to work the door to get in there.
Posted by: Will Young at September 29, 2005 10:48 AMDid anybdoy else notice that he hit the two LEFTIES with the FIRST pitch?
I think Gardy saw a lot more than just a bad pitching outting. Thank god he put a stop to it.
I for one, can do without him for the rest of the season.
Posted by: Torhu at September 29, 2005 11:12 AMI don't think we'll be seeing this public service announcement anytime soon...
JC: "This time of year we all get excited about the great American past-time, Crazy Pepe's Chug and Toss...
When kids throw at hitters they do better in life, and then we all win."
Dammit, you'd think with as many times as I've seen his PSA I'd be able to recite the complete text by now.
Posted by: Skorch at September 29, 2005 11:48 AMAnyone realize that Nathan's Toss to first was his first error in the majors EVER? Poor Joe after the game, he was so apologetic about it - reminded me of Scott Erickson apologizing for the four walks in his no hitter. That's alright, Joe - we fully forgive you!
Posted by: Dr. Jane at September 29, 2005 12:59 PMJust thought you all should know ~ The tentative 2006 schedule has been posted on mntwins.com!!
Time to start planning for next year! :)
Today on ESPN.com, they have a piece debating the merits of the candidates for the major awards. The debate, apparently, for the AL Cy Young? Bartolo Colon vs. Mariano Rivera. I mean, but, the problem, I need to regroup.
*regroups*
Ok. I can continue.
The logic used by the ESPN.com staff in making the case for Colon is a bit off. Look at the following quote:
"...among the top 10 pitchers in ERA, only two have more than 16 wins: Jon Garland and Bartolo Colon."
Is 16 wins the cutoff point? Is that written somewhere. Because if you look at the guys with 15 wins, you'll see the best pitcher in the AL this year. But they don't even mention Johan, because he hasn't reached that, um, magical 16-win mark.
The logic used by Eric Karabell in knocking Santana's Cy Young bid is even worse. Here's the quote:
"And the Twins didn't sniff the playoffs even with Johan Santana."
Okay, work with me here, because the following sentence is going to be ridiculous, we'll all know it's ridiculous, but let's work with it to prove a point. Let's say that anytime a pitcher takes the mound, his team is guaranteed a victory if he pitches to a certain level of performance, a level that puts up Cy Young numbers. We'll ignore the run support, the coaching, the other team, the fielding, the hot dog vendor, we'll ignore everything else and just say that the starting pitcher controls 100% of the outcome for that game.
Under that scenario, Johan could only have won 20% of the team's games for them! Johan could have pitched like God himself and not guaranteed his team even a chance at the playoffs. I don't see how it's possible to dismiss a pitcher's performance because of how his team's season unfolded, but that's just me. I like logic.
On the bright (?) side, Jayson Stark wrote a little blurb about Santana and his "third-party candidate" role.
"If you thought Randy Johnson was the NL Cy Young last year -- as I did -- you should be lobbying for Johan Santana as the AL Cy Young this year. So I will. Cy Youngs should go to the guy who has pitched the best. Period. Well, Santana leads the league in strikeouts, quality starts, opponent average, WHIP and a thousand other measures of who has pitched best. Bartolo Colon is barely within 100 points of him in OPS allowed. Relievers (yeah, even Mariano) don't have to worry about run support. But that's the only reason Santana won't win this award -- because his team didn't score enough for him to win 18 or 20. So ignore that win column and give Cy Santana his props."
The MVP is for the best non-pitcher, the Cy Young is for the best pitcher. Why do sports writers insist on making this more complicated than it is?
Posted by: Will at September 29, 2005 02:49 PMDearest Batgirl -
Is Tantrum McSpazzyPants - Sponge Bob's evil Twin???
Curiously -
Wonder Woman
Johan should win on the butt wiggle alone!
Much love
Wonder Woman
"Who's Tantrum McSpazzyPants now?"
that is so becoming a new phrase for work
Posted by: mark from Oly. wa. at September 30, 2005 02:35 PM