From the comments, by Twins Foghorn
Our Padre,
Who art most likely at Wendy's,
Anthony be thy name.
Thy 3000th come.
Thy eight titles won,
In Cooperstown as it is in San Diego.
Give us this day no man left in scoring position.
And forgive not Selig for '94,
As we forgive him not for '01.
And lead us not into ass-battery,
But deliver us from sucking.
For thine is the Series,
And the mojo,
And the average,
For ever and ever.
AMEN
Posted by Batgirl at August 19, 2005 10:44 AMTF, that's pure genius right there. :)
Posted by: kafumbly at August 19, 2005 10:49 AMThat's awesome, but I fear a fit of the giggles next time I hear the "correct" text. Especially on "who art most likely at Wendy's."
Posted by: Redbird at August 19, 2005 10:50 AMCall me biased, but I think it's much more likely that Tony art under the Golden Arches.
Billions and billions served, and a good many of them to Mr. Gwynn.
Posted by: Ray Kroc at August 19, 2005 11:16 AMActually, Tony Gwynn is most likely at Church's Chicken. From 6/15/2000:
"San Diego Padres outfielder Tony Gwynn announced plans Thursday to open 100 Church's Chicken outlets in Southern California in hopes of creating jobs in local communities."
mmm...Chicken.
source: http://www.franchise-chat.com/news_archive/united_states_franchise_news_9.htm (scroll down)
Posted by: Mark at August 19, 2005 11:52 AMBrilliant...I feel enlightened having just read it. I shall now begin chanting....should incense be used as well?
Posted by: SDave at August 19, 2005 11:55 AMActually, Tony Gwynn is most likely at Church's Chicken. From 6/15/2000:
"San Diego Padres outfielder Tony Gwynn announced plans Thursday to open 100 Church's Chicken outlets in Southern California in hopes of creating jobs in local communities."
How appropriate. He's at Church! Maybe they can alter (or altar) the prayer and use it as a promo.
Posted by: PJStP at August 19, 2005 12:15 PMDon't I remember a story about Tony Gwynn being a regular customer of Jacques' mom at KFC?
Posted by: waltomeal at August 19, 2005 12:27 PMI think Lecroy must be saying a bunch of Hail Harmons for his recent power surge:
Hail Harmon
full of grace
Canton is with you.
Blessed are you among Twins
And blessed is the fruit of your stick.
Holy Harmon, patron of the Game
Pray for us batters
Now and at the hour of our at bats.
Soccerfan,
That's a good try, but I think it needs a little editing. How about:
Hail Harmon
full of grace
Cooperstown's with you.
Blessed are you amongst Twins
And blessed is the fruit of your swing.
Holy Harmon, patron of the Game
Pray for us hitters
Now and at the hour of our at bats.
How's that?
Posting with a glowing red pen,
MK
For those of you who may be thinking that mixing "religion" and Twins baseball is a relatively new concept, let me share this quote from Jim Kaat about his former catcher Earl Battey, from Patrick Reusse's column in the Strib.
"I was at the service when Earl passed away. The family had me say a few words. I said, 'We're all praying for Earl today, but you probably don't know Earl used to pray for me a long time ago.'
"And then I told Earl's family and friends how when I was a young pitcher and would get behind in the count 2-0, Earl wouldn't give me the usual sign; he would make the sign of the cross. That meant, 'Go ahead and throw it [a fastball] ... I'm praying for you.' "
Obviously, Earl wasn't praying to Tony Gwynn. Cy Young perhaps?
Posted by: JimCrikket at August 19, 2005 04:10 PMThanks MK, how could I have mixed Cooperstown with Canton??? I guess that is why I am Soccerfan!
PS I still like "Fruit of the Stick" with its overtones and relation to womb.
Posted by: soccerfan at August 19, 2005 05:08 PMAh. I didn't know whether "Fruit of the Stick" was intentionally chosen for its procreative overtones. Now that I do, it's back to stick!
Posted by: mk at August 19, 2005 05:20 PM"I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions and
most of the minor ones. I've worshiped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva,
trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are
108 beads in a Catholic rosary -- and there are 108 stitches in a baseball.
When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between
us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. ... I've tried 'em all, I really have.
And the only church that truly feeds my soul -- day in, day out -- is the
Church of Baseball."
Annie Savoy-"Bull Durham"
*nervous grin*
Thanks for the comments everyone.
Posted by: TwinsFoghorn at August 19, 2005 07:00 PMWhy the nervous grin? Concerned about lightning perhaps? ;)
Posted by: JimCrikket at August 19, 2005 07:08 PMJimCrikket: To be honest the thought had crossed my mind...
SoccerFan: Thats awesome. I imagine LeCroy in monks robes. You know... kind've like Porky Pig in the Looney Toons version of Robin Hood.
Posted by: TwinsFoghorn at August 19, 2005 07:23 PM*Squirming, making sure there isn't a plague of locusts coming to smite us* That was... clever..
Posted by: Ryan at August 19, 2005 08:33 PMEven as a good Catholic boy all I can say is mmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . blasphelicious!
Anyone want to try the Apostles Creed to complete the trifecta?
Seriously, that was very, very clever.
Posted by: BadAndy48 at August 20, 2005 12:18 AMWaltomeal, you are correct. Tony also wastes time trying to teach Jaque how to hit in the offseason, here in sunny San Diego.
For further heavenly Padre stuff go to: http://sdpf.blogspot.com/