Kansas City at Twins. Twins 3, Royals 1.
The BatQuarters is closed for renovations, so BG and Jeb have been watching the games a casa Batgirl. Tonight we sat down on the BatCouch with our carbonated green tea and soy puffs, gathered the BatKitties Three, and prepared to watch our boys fight for their honor against the Kansas City Landed Gentry (name shamelessly stolen from infield). We turned on our specially-crafted TwinsTron 3000, which uses space age technology to stream all our Twins-related content—from TV to radio to the Interweb—directly to us. But just as the game was about to begin, we heard a curious rumbling in the distance—no, not a giant sucking sound coming from the Metrodome, but something else. Quickly we turned on the weather, and what we saw chilled us to the bone:
Then--with a flash and a crash!--lightening hit the BatPhalange, then there was a crackling sound from the TwinsTron, a strange, almost human-sounding moan, and then it all went dark.
The TwinsTron 3000 was dead.
A terrible silence filled the house, then Jeb hightailed it to the engineering room while Batgirl started rocking steadily.
"Fire up the backup generators!" screamed Batgirl.
"I don't have enough power!" called Jeb. "The whole house will fly apart!"
"Fly her apart, then!" screamed Batgirl.
But it was no use. Casa Batgirl was without the Twins game. Batgirl sat in a corner shaking and whimpering, while Jeb paced nervously. BatKitty #1 began gnaw slowly on BatKitty #3.
"You know what we can do?" said Jeb, finally. "We can use Legovision."
"Wh-wh-what do you mean?" asked Batgirl. "We can't do Legovision unless we've seen the game."
Jeb grabbed Batgirl's hands and looked into her eyes. "The Legos will show us the way."
And so they did.
Batgirl and Jeb field the Legos.
A couple minutes passed.
"By this time," said Jeb, arranging the middle infielders, "Castro and Rodriguez surely have recorded four outs."
The Twins' shortstop and second baseman getting four outs in one half-inning.
"My BatSense tells me that Torii's at the plate," said Batgirl some time later as the rain turned briefly to hail outside.
Hunter takes his first at bat.
Torii has a great at bat, seeing many pitches. Finally he says to pitcher Zack Grienke, "there's something I must tell you..."
"......I'm not left handed."
A hit up the middle!
Jacque comes to the plate.
"Wait," interupted Jeb, "I may not have BatSense, but a crick in my trick knee tells me Captain Cheeseburger is near!"
C.C. Sabathia appears in the Metrodome stands.
"Someone warn Little Nicky Punto!"
"We can't," Jeb replied, "our phone is dead!"
"Wait, LNP's in Rochester."
"Thank God..."
"But what's this?! The Captain's beaned Torii Hunter from the stands! Now that's dastardly!" cried Jeb.
"You bet your sweet ass, it is."
Jacque scores Torii, who had advanced to second on a C.C. Sabathia beanball from the stands.
Thunder boomed outside Casa Batgirl.
"Right about now Zack Greinke should be getting a phone call," said Batgirl.
"My thoughts exactly."
"Um, spacephone's for you, Zack."
"Jeez, ma, I asked you to not call me when I'm playing with the big guys. ...Ya, I know there's lightning, but... I know, but... ...But I'm inside a dome, ma... ....Oh, come on... ....I know... ...Okay..."
Greinke has to leave the game after the 6th.
"Hmm, I'm going to try to adjust the receiver on the TwinsTron using an algorithm derived from the Greis-integer," said Jeb, "I'll need to go work on the generator for a few minutes."
By this time, they'll be playing Dodgeball for a chance to win a totally awesome lease on a pickup, thought Batgirl...
Gardy: Hey, that Dodge is horribly dusty. Just filthy!
Mauer, Morneau...get out there and dust off that truck with your shirts! I want it spotless!
Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau work together to clean every inch of the truck, shirtless and glistening...
"I'm back," said Jeb, "what'd I miss?"
"Nothing! I was just setting up for the Twins' at bat!"
Aussie Glenn Williams comes to the plate with the bases loaded. Up 2-1, the Twins could sure use an insurance run.
"What's this?" said Jeb, "Williams has squared up to bat cricket style!"
Williams readies for the bowler's delivery.
I say, a fine straight bat loft! Justin Morneau scores! Twins lead, 3-1.
No one seems to have told Lew Ford the rules of cricket.
"Too bad, Batgirl, Lew's been caught off the popping crease for an out."
"Lew, caught off guard? Now you're just getting unrealistic, Jeb."
Wow, Legovision, dodge-ball,cricket, and a Twins win. Thoroughly impressive, BG. Legovision makes it so much easier to deal with not being able to see games.
Posted by: Tinger at June 28, 2005 03:25 AMHeheheh. Brilliant as usual, BG.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at June 28, 2005 03:26 AMWhy would anyone need to take the time to explain cricket to Lew? It's really very simple and self explanitory, honestly it is (the infield fly rule - now that is hard)
Posted by: Dan in London at June 28, 2005 03:26 AMWOW. absolutely fantastic, Batgirl! I was giggling the whole time. except for this part, which left me gazing off into dreamland for a couple minutes:
"Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau work together to clean every inch of the truck, shirtless and glistening..."
beauty.
Posted by: kafumbly at June 28, 2005 06:53 AMAgreed, most definately my favorite part, if only for the Dr.
"Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau work together to clean every inch of the truck, shirtless and glistening..."
I don't think I'll get any work done all day with that visual in my mind. If only LNP had been there to help out...
Sadly, "shirtless and glistening" loses a tiny bit of its appeal in Legovision. Sigh.
And BTW, at my house, Mr. Williams' offical nickname is "Glenn Who?"
Never mind that bit about Lew. Just. Never. Mind.
Two in a row! We're on a streak!!
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at June 28, 2005 07:13 AMHooray for LegoVision! What a great way to start my morning. Thanks BatGirl!
Posted by: ndtf at June 28, 2005 07:19 AMOh shoot, Goddess, don't you think we got enough glisten on them?
Posted by: Jeb at June 28, 2005 07:29 AMJeb-
I think the glisten was just perfect!! Waahoo for lego vision.
"Jeez, ma, I asked you to not call me when I'm playing with the big guys. ...Ya, I know there's lightning, but... I know, but... ...But I'm inside a dome, ma... ....Oh, come on... ....I know... ...Okay..."
This was sooo funny #1. because he looks 12 and #2..well the phone, that's all I can say about that!
"I'm not Left handed" - heehee
Thank's for the giggles - you know that's exactly what I saw last night from the Dome - WOW - you are Amazing BAT-CREW!!
Much love
Wonder Woman
Legovision, Legovision, tra la la la la...
BTW (and this is mostly relevant, I swear!), did you know that there's a Legovision Star Wars videogame? Really! Can a Legovision MLB 2006 game be far behind?
Posted by: CarrieICL at June 28, 2005 08:05 AMheeheeheeheehee
Legovision AND a win! Oh, what a happy day.
Posted by: Katharriet at June 28, 2005 08:06 AMI was supposed to be at a meeting last night, but the power went out just as it was supposed to start, so it was very short (1/2 hour rather than 2 hours!), and I got to catch most of the Twins game. It's unfortunate that Team Batgirl missed the game, but it seems Batgirl used her super powers to psychically know what was happening.
I do have to say my favorite part of this legovision was the dodgeball. Thanks for the laugh on this morning when it was more-or-less announced my boyfriend was moving back into a utility role.
Posted by: Just Beth at June 28, 2005 08:11 AM"I'm back," said Jeb, "what'd I miss?"
"Nothing! I was just setting up for the Twins' at bat!"
Nothing! Hee hee.
Posted by: Say Rah! at June 28, 2005 08:19 AMi especially liked the "...i'm not left-handed" part. priceless. also CC Sofatsia's (my mom's nickname for him) appearance in the stands.
way to go, twins. it was nice to see joe nathan pitch like, well, the joe nathan we once knew.
Posted by: tmkain at June 28, 2005 08:29 AMYou lost power? Welcome to my world (or at least my world of 2 weeks ago). Happily, I remained completely electricitified last night for once. I wonder if the city of Hopkins has all their power lines being held up by crepe paper and wishes.
A quick aside to CarrieICL - I've played the Lego Star Wars game, or at least a demo of it, and it's pretty fun.
Posted by: Skorch at June 28, 2005 08:31 AMI was going to write my favorite quotes from this Legovision, and then I didn't because I couldn't pick just 10. Although with all the visions of glistening dancing in my head, I'm struggling to concentrate on work! Love me some M&M boys!
Posted by: aussie at June 28, 2005 08:33 AMFantastic! What a great re-cap. I can't even pick the part I liked the best; I giggled the whole time. My co-workers think that I am, of course, a nut.
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at June 28, 2005 08:45 AMoh my... so much lovely material and my brain is so tired.
I suddenly have this vision of a baseball game played shirts vs skins (you know who is the skins!) with the M&M boys suddenly announcing they aren't left handed!!
ah... Legovision. You are truly a genius, BG.
Posted by: CapitalBabs at June 28, 2005 09:08 AM"Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau work together to clean every inch of the truck, shirtless and glistening..."
I wish I had been there for that. Love the Lego-vision!
Posted by: annun at June 28, 2005 09:23 AMHmm... I keep trying to do work, but all I can think about is all the glistening. Sigh...
Posted by: ndtf at June 28, 2005 09:47 AMGood to see that Captain Cheeseburger can't put his hat on straight even in Lego form.
Posted by: Roscoe at June 28, 2005 10:26 AMThe primary laughs are obvious. The secondary laughs sneak up on me as I imagine the atmosphere of frenzied giggling that certainly must accompany the staging of the individual lego-scenes.
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at June 28, 2005 10:44 AMGod bless the legovision. Just one question, though. Shouldn't Lecroy be referred to as Cheeseburger?
Posted by: Bat-Newb at June 28, 2005 11:06 AMBat-newb - Captain Cheeseburger is C.C. Sabathia, due to the revelation made a month or so ago that that is what C.C. stood for in the first place.
LeCroy, on the other hand, is partial to crawdads and bugs.
Posted by: Skorch at June 28, 2005 11:15 AMMaybe the Twins should hold a shirtless car wash fundraiser for a new stadium. I'd bring every car on my block.
*sigh* shirtless Justin *sigh*
This could be my favorite legovision of all time. Team Batgirl you are truly a group of scholars. Bert Blyleven thinks Greinke has a baby face just like Joe Mauer, but Greinke looks like he could have been in my eigth grade class. Mauer looks a bit older. Oh, and the Mauer/Morneau thing was a good image, but I have to say the space phone part was my favorite.
Posted by: Hannah at June 28, 2005 11:57 AMI was wondering what Lew was doing on Glenn's infield hit. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.
The Twins need to have a Twins Lego giveaway day at the dome.......
What did I learn from this recap?
That scary storms can be made much less scary by resorting to Legovision. And that I don't know jack about cricket.
Posted by: mk at June 28, 2005 12:35 PMI feel terrible, as the Official Bat Girl Meteorologist, not personally warning BG about the impending storms. But once again, she has turned lemons to lemonade.
And does anyone find it curious that Mrs. Greinke can use a space phone, but can't figure out dome technology?
Posted by: Ryan at June 28, 2005 12:41 PMRyan,
That's simple. Mrs. Greinke was able to use one of those old-style wall-mounted phones. You know, the kind that you pick up and immediately get the operator who places your call?
As an aside, I looked at the title of today's recap and wondered: if and when the Twins move into an outdoor stadium, would that title read "KC at the Sunshine Bandbox"? Just wondering...
Posted by: mk at June 28, 2005 12:48 PMI love it! Brilliant!
Posted by: Maren at June 28, 2005 01:00 PMIf Torii is Inigo, then that makes Lew Westley in my book!
Princess Georgia Girl: Home Run, Lew! Home Run!!
Farm Boy Lew: As you wish.
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
Posted by: Georgia Girl at June 28, 2005 01:20 PMHooray for JEB and his majik!
Posted by: el diablo at June 28, 2005 01:32 PMA+ for legovision! Hooray!
Posted by: sacky at June 28, 2005 01:45 PMthis one is still making me giggle, eight hours later...
Posted by: kafumbly at June 28, 2005 02:55 PMSimilar to aurora, after reading about the glistening M & M boys, my day cannot go on productively.
Posted by: Stacy at June 28, 2005 03:59 PMSkorch,
Maybe I read more into the post than was actually there, but I believe it was BG's "all-in-one" cable/phone/interweb service went out. And as one who tried to listen to CCO, they could have just as well been off the air (lots of lectricity in the air does not mix well with AM).
Beautiful visual of the M&M boys. My mind's kinda fuzzy from that so I'll just say : I love Legovision!
A great reenactment of a great baseball game.
Batgirl, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has the Mauer/Morneau washing the Dodgeball Truck dream. Do you have the one where they pick you to choose play "Let's Make a Deal" and you choose the envelope and it's a deluxe night stay at Treasure Island WITH Mauer and Morneau? Cause I have that one every now and again too.
Posted by: HooliganKat at June 28, 2005 05:17 PMI just wanted to let everybody know that I've officially de-friended the Twins. I hate them now. Everything about them makes me so dyspeptically nauseous that I could throw up blood, then freeze that blood into the shape of Luis Rivas, then shoot the Rivasicle with a beebee gun. In the eye.
They make me want to join a fitness-boxing class, and intentionally miss my instructor's mitts, just so I can punch someone in the face without legal reprecussion. Although, why go to all the trouble? I'd probably just punch him again, as he tried to stand up. That's how much I hate them.
Except for Jesse Crain.
I don't know what I'd do if I saw Terry Mulholland or Carlos Silva in a bar right now. It wouldn't be civil, that's for damn sure.
Furiously, sadly,
Haplo
Posted by: Haplo at June 28, 2005 09:07 PMDearest Mr. Haplo,
Come to Batgirl.
Shhhh....
Shhhhhh.....
There, there. Let it all out. That's right!
It's going to be okay now.
Love,
BG
Nice Lego-vision, BG.
I know that Torii is Lego-Spidey, and rightly so, but I can't see Lego-Spidey without thinking of the scene from Spider-Man II. You know the one...
"I'm back! Woo-hoo! I'm back!"
*crash, bang, car alarm goes off*
"My back! My back!"
Poor Luis. At least he got an insurance RBI.
Posted by: David Michael Wintheiser at June 28, 2005 09:54 PM