Hah!

Very clever. I think I'll stick with baseball though. Poker doesn't really do much for me...

Hysterical! From Venice, Goober salutes you. Bene, bene!!!

THANK YOU KW!!!
Sometimes it's hard to remember that we are not even to the all-star break! There is a lot of season left!
Haha, poker and football...how funny is that...and a 3 game season...more suitable for the fairweather fans!
tehehe,
again, thank you KW! You Rock!

kw, thanks for the perspective! My sister and I jokingly decide to cheer on lacrosse every time the Twins have a bad game (chosen because we know nothing about it). But the next Twins game, we look at each other and decide baseball is truly the greatest sport ever! 162 games means there's plenty of time for a bad week.

Thank you, kw, for putting it all back in perspective.... Where can I get me one o' them Jabali Acrobats?

From yesterday's Daily Quickie:

Forgive me, fellow Instant Historians, if I don't leap onto Cleveland's bandwagon as it won its 9th straight game Sunday and pulled within a game of the Twins for the AL wild card.

I've seen this summer movie before. Last year, in fact, and it was a dud:

It was mid-August, and the Tribe had won 10 of 11 to pull within a game of Minnesota. Hysteria ensued. They promptly lost their next 9 and finished 12 GB the Twins.

Don't get me started on the Munch! Their last game was terrible. Lester "Orleans" Ford completely wasted an inside straight, and Woody "Memphis" Bryan missed two tackles. The Munch suck. The XXXtreme will win the division.

Hmm. That's just what I've been saying here to the consternation of so many others:

It's only JUNE!! CALM DOWN!! Sheeesh...

Sneaky move, el Presidente...

http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20050620&content_id=1097532&vkey=news_min&fext=.jsp&c_id=min

ndtf, let's hope last year's hero (the clubhouse chair) stops by today's game to help everybody out ;)

Who gets the crack at it this year...I'd say Morneau. It can be a Canadian thing.

lovely, kw! but I'll stick with baseball, thank you.

Maybe the chair could bring some friends. That way everyone could get in on the fun!

1) Way to start off my day, kw. That was brilliant!

2) I love Gardy's jab at umps in that article from ndtf: "I told them not to throw the big ones back. We threw all the ones that looked like umpires back."

I'm thinking a little naked-batting-practice can't hurt, either. But maybe with ALL the guys, not just the backup catcher. ;-)

k-bro

k-bro, that is a FABULOUS idea!

They'd probably make enough money for a retractable roof plus ice cream for everyone, if they auctioned off tickets to an all-team naked batting practice session. I'd probably drop a week's pay on that! O:)

Wait, does OMM have to be naked too?

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Oh man, that was HILARIOUS!!!

*still chuckling*

Also, I heard that the Detroit Pump were looking to deal for a big fat dude. Maybe Card Counting Sabothagia?

hehehe pump

Dearest Bat-lings,

Do you realize that your Bat-team is actually playing better baseball than last year? You were 37-30 at this point last year:

http://www.retrosheet.org/boxesetc/06192004.htm

Not only that, but the Twinkiedoodles had given up more runs than they had scored at that point - meaning that they were very lucky to be 37-30. They had allowed 62 more runs through 67 games last year - nearly 1 run per game. They've only scored 7 fewer runs, so they are 55 runs better than they were last year at this point.

Since they have only played the White Sox 5 times this year, you might think that, comparing them to the prior year's version, that the 2005 Twinkiecakes are a better team.

But, if you want to be defeatist, go ahead. I won't complain.

-Shoeless Joe

Shoeless Joe:

That's what I keep telling everyone! But thanks for actually doing the research so that I have some evidence for my claims. I do have vivid memories of last year's sucking time. And I doubt that the Twins have played their best ball already this year.

I've got to say, though, that I like this Wox team better (which is not to say that I like them, really, but you know what I mean) a LOT better than last year's model.

Cleveland, not so much. I'm with the quickie on that one.

Brian, I have definitely seen far less attractive men than Terry Mulholland in my time. Good Lord. Far, FAR less. I think he's pretty hot, actually... no doubt because I am as "old" as he is.

I can also think of many younger (his advanced age WAS the reason for the "ewwwwww," was it not?) players on the Twins that would be way further up on my list of "guys I'd rather not see taking NBP, thanks" than "Old Man" Mulholland. "Young" does not necessarily equal "hot." Or vice-versa... ;-)

SJ, what's the stat regarding wins within the division? Are we playing them better or worse? That's what I'd like to know.

I keep hearing that the ALC is stronger this year, but it'd be interesting to see the numbers overall compared to last year.

Twinkiedoodles?!

Dear Batling,

The Twinkiefizzies were 18-13 against the AL Central through 67 games in 2004, roughly comparable to 2005's 16-12 record.

The White Sox were 12-7 vs. the Central through 67 games in 2004. The Good Guys are, of course, tearing the AL Central apart to the tune of 21-5 this year.

-SJ

greetin's from the golden state! dex over at gaslampball.com put a link up to this site, apparently on a quest for sass, and i followed. how goes?

I frankly am glad we're done with the AL central for a while. we were getting our heads kicked in...and i root for the Twins in the AL! I don't like seeing my two fave teams battling. We got some lucky calls in that series, thats for sure, but you know, we'll take it.

anyone see last night's game against the dodgers? 1-0 win for Peavy with 13K in 8IP, 3h, 1BB, against Brad Penny (who gave up one run and no BB/4K in 6IP)...and tomorrow it's Derek Lowe!

Sorry to pollute your thread with OT talk, i'll quit it now.

Brilliant, kw!

kw - Outstanding, sir, although that gentleman is blocking the phone number. I want to call and see how much season tickets are.

Just the same I love Team Tackle Poker and all, but I'll be damned if *I'm* going to build that cheapskate McWhorley a new poker room. I'm not spending my hard earned dollars on an additional .0015% sales tax. Those 3 cents on every $200 is outright extortion, and I've got 500 buttons, bumper stickers, and posters all ready to go.

Garth - At the beginning of the season I told everyone that would listen (and a few that wouldn't) that I expect the Padres to win that division. Peavy's a monster, and I'm glad he's on my fantasy team, but given the results of Sunday's game perhaps the Twins would have done better against him than... Darrell May??!?

BTW, wait until Batgirl herself gets back, then the sass will be absolutely gushing.

Wow SJ, Chi's played an extra 7 divisional games.
And the Twins have played only 3 extra (it would've been four if not for the SNOW in Det in APRIL. (still weird)

Chi's only two games better + all the extras. Still not bad, they're winning the extra divisional games...which is important. Hopefully the Twins will able to finally pick up some ground when we start back into the Division here today.

Am I missing something? The only thing I can see on this "Paid Programming" post is the disclaimer--nothing about poker... :)

lt, click the bottom right corner where it says, "click here to start."

lt, click the bottom right corner where it says, "click here to start."

--for some reason mine doesn't have that :(

Dear Batlings -
I am concerned ...
The strib talks of patience. I have anxiety.

It's been like 2 weeks since BG left on her latest mission. The Twins have won like 3 of 10. They have slipped to 8 games behind the bitch sox. The Profeesional Baseball Club of Cleveland is gaining on us. Meanwhile, BG is halfway around the world on some humanitarian mission.

I understand her desire to give back and help those less fortunate. But doesn't charity start at home. The Twins are in trouble. Suckiness is running rampant. My stomach is in knots. We need her back - dammit.

Please hurry home BG.

Hegs-
No worries. BG and team BG are scheduled to be back on Thursday. Until then, I recommend reading the archives. All will be right with the world when BG returns.

I like this article on Cleveland's loss last night. link is in my name. if you are registered with SPPP, you should be able to use that user ID and password to access, otherwise, it is free.

but here's the headline: C.C. throws B.P.

did anyone see Lew Ford at the Autograph Party last weekend? i didnt get to make it, but i saw the photo gallery of the event (go to www.mntwins.com) and a few pictures into it i had to laugh out loud! all the other players are wearing expensive polo shirts and shiny watches, and then there's Lew with mussy hair and a Snoopy tshirt on. unintentional comedy is high!

I think there's always a level of intentional comedy any time Leeeeew is involved. I'd be willing to bet that he has a whole collection of T-Shirts with funny sayings on them. Lew just seems like that kind of guy.

OH MY GOD

My cats were starving last night so I went to get food at the Petco by Ridgedale and JUAN RINCON WAS IN LINE AHEAD OF ME WITH HIS WIFE AND THEIR BABY BEAGLE AND HE WAS FILLING OUT A PETCO PALS MEMBERSHIP CARD.

He drives a white Yukon with one of those Jesus fishes on it.

HE IS CUTE IN PERSON. THOSE PICTURES ON MLB.COM DO NOT DO HIM JUSTICE.

I wondered whether or not to say hello. I thought about petting his dog but then his wife and the dog had already gone outside. Then I thought, What Would Wonder Woman Do (WWWWD?) and then, since his wife was present, I decided against it.

This is bigger than when Janie Peterson's daughter messed up all the lipsticks at my counter.

Hilarious, nice work

"What is your puppy's name?" is always a good opening.

I would have asked to pet the puppy, because I love beagles.

I love beagles, too, unless that beagle is Petey, who belongs to my neighbor and who bayed for two solid hours last night. Nevertheless, I would definitely have wanted to pet the beagle puppy. Unfortunately, puppies give me tunnel vision, and I frequently don't really notice their owners, so would probably have missed the chance to enjoy meeting Boo anyway.

Juan Rincon has a beagle? I woulda thought he'd have a [wait for it... wait for it...] golden reliever.

HA!

Well, I would have asked to pet the puppy, but 1. I didn't want to bother him, since he seemed a bit confused about what exactly the Petco Pals thing is, and 2. I would only have made an ass of myself.
When I was waiting in line to get my picture taken with Joe Nathan at TwinsFest, I repeatedly told AJ I was going to touch him, and then when I got up there I didn't even SAY anything let alone TOUCH him.