"4a. To Terry Ryan II: Find a hitting coach!"

YES! thank you. I've been saying this for weeks. perhaps I was premature earlier, but now, it is definitely time for action. how much more must we endure? the excuse "we're not hitting because we're not familiar with these NL pitchers" is quite lame and doesn't work anymore.

however... I do believe that things will change soon. someone is going to smash a chair (preferably JC's) and get this team going again. or perhaps some naked batting practice is in order. those fielding drills today could have been done naked, and I wouldn't have complained.

Points taken. Even agree with some of them. I've been preaching #1 since about week 3.

Maybe I'm a "true believer" and I know its been a rough couple weeks but I think its a little early to be drinking the Kool-Aid.

My guess is the boys are more frustrated than anyone. Frankly, I'm willing to have a charactor building month. I know its frustrating. But when the team fights through this they'll come out better for it. Hunter, Stewie, OMM, and Gardy will pull the guys out of this.

The biggest thing I'm afraid of right now is trade talk. The worst thing that can happen right now is for our boys to be looking over their shoulders instead of keeping their eye on the ball. Truth is though, Our-Father-Terry-Ryan-Be-His-Name is sure to be making some moves this year.

Q. Exactly where, off the Florida coast, do Craig from the Tigers and Justin from the Twins vacation together during the off-season?

A. The Island of Doctrine Monroe.

Entertainment only. Not for wagering. October's a long way off.

[I love the Twins! They're my favorite!]

A couple more thoughts:

I realize 9 games back is scary. We haven't been here in years. But let's play our way and not worry about "Smart ball". Twins baseball is about doing little things right. You guys have done it before, you'll do it again.

I want to apologize too. I haven't always done my part. I know you guys have only heard me at four games this year. It's not your fault I haven't been there. I still love everyone of you guys (in a NSMC way), and always will, don't forget that.

I understand that I'm a fanboi and I don't know what its like. So guys, I'm rooting for ya, do what you need to do.

*signs* :)

I agree. Shakeups are needed, and last year they worked. (JC to minors...Terry to rotation...Minty out/Moreneau in)

Hell, it worked two years ago as well (Johan to rotation, Kielty out/Stewie in)

That's why we didn't do the power bat trade thing last year like we did the year before and need to now. Our power bat was Morneau, and it worked.

This year Morneau is...well...hurting. He needs a chair to pound, when's the next visit to Cleveland? It IS starting to resemeble that time period again ;)

Stevie,

Huh, can't find a post in this thread complaining about the Bitch Sox, yet.

To be honest, its good to have some competition for once. Glad your boys have finally figured out how to do more than just talk.

Nothing would make me happier than to have the American League Central be considered the toughest division in baseball. It can only make us stronger.

To Stevie:

*yawn*

Congrats on being where you were supposed to have been the last four years or so.

Also to Batlings, keep this in mind for now.

The last four World Series winners have been from the Wild Card. AND...they all beat the Yanks on their way there. :)

There is a nice article on the Star Trib advocating for the mentioned trade that we create the buzz that Stewie did. Glad others are starting to see the Twins need this...and that I am not insane for wanting a trade like this a few weeks ago.

Intriquing. I've heard Joe Randa's name before...but with the Reds? Why did I think KC at first?

It's better than what I heard on the Radio while at work. Gordo and Gladden brought up Clemmens and...BRET BOONE?

Clemmens is a pipe dream (or nightmare considering his attitude when he plays for teams not named the Yankees), and Boone hasn't looked that good when we've played against him at Cleveland.

I too feel that some major change needs to happen soon to get out of this funk, but I'm still a believer that something great is going to happen this season. :)

.."Don't stop believin'...Hold on to the feelin'..." ;)

I'd love to see TR pull a deal for Marcus Giles in Atlanta, but a cheaper and more realistic option might be the Rockies' Luis Gonzalez, who hits when he starts and plays 5 positions well.

Lighten up. Twins ran into Bond, Jeremy Bonderman. Shaken, stirred whatever ...you'll win both of the next games. BoTox unreliable to fail. ChiTox will collapse. Hope springs for the world's cheapest owner ever.

Not to disparage the fine contributions the relief team has made, but I dont doubt that the sassmistress'absence has had a negative effect on the lads.

I predict a change in fortune beginning June 24.

I wouldn't mind a new player either though...

Go Twins!

Numbers 4a and 5 came up amongst those of us in 214 last night. Well done RD. When do Gardy and Pohlad and Ryan get their copies.

Amen x 10!! Well said RD!

I would move 4 and 4a to the bottom of the list.

This is all about the players taking it personally. Take some responsibility for your own performance (or lack thereof)

Need a hitter? Don't wait for the GM to make a move. Need a hit? Don't expect the coach to come out there and swing the bat.

How about YOU be the hitter?...and YOU?...and also YOU? If you think I mean YOU, it's because I do.

Break as many chairs as necessary. But don't wait for a shining knight to ride in and save you and don't be placing blame and pointing fingers. Just get-R-done!

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place
(If you wanna make the world a better place)

If you wanna come back and win the title
(And not settle for the freakin' wild card race)

Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Take a look at yourself, and then make a change)
(Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah)

And lest anyone think the above message only applies to the hitters, let's be clear: It goes for the pitchers, too. Edit as necessary.

Man in the mirror, boys.

Fran-
Beautiful. Come on boys, the Tigers aren't half as good as you made them look last night. Let's get this turned around.

I would be entirely happy with the boys have getting some hits in. But they're not. So we either need a new hitting coach or a new hitter. If the boys want to step up and get some hits, that's best, but if they don't shouldn't we do something about it? Just my thought.

Now for the "You have got to be f'ing kidding me" link of the day...

http://www.startribune.com/stories/509/5470058.html

Dear RD,

Better lucky than good.

Love,

The 2002-2004 Twins

I don't understand the question. What does it mean to "give up" on the Twins? Do we send them back to Washington? What? And how is "Never," an answer. If it's the post season and the Twins aren't, um, in it, am I supposed to still "believe"?

I wondered how "now" is an answer. Because when I give up on something, I just move on. I don't bother with answering polls about it.

I saw that to ndtf...that's really counter-productive to the whole fanbase.

I voted "Never." Becaues I kept the last three years in mind.

There was a guy on CCO last night round 11 that I tuned in on the way home from work. He sounded like he was drunk.

His first comment was that Santana needs to "start winning every game again." as though it was something he could turn on an off.

After that, he proceeded to riddicule ever caller who spoke to him...and even made Gordo and Gladden sound like morons for ripping on the thought of Boone becoming a Twin. Not in a logical kind of way (using stats) but by simpling insulting the caller and refering to Boone as a "cancer."

AND he still is dwelling on the "Sox will falter."

The problem with that is...it's June. The Sox HAVE had a few short periods of weakness. Unfortunately the Twins weren't able to make up ground as they were busy faltering themselves.

We're going to have to do this vs. the Division. We have more divisional games left than the Sox. It'd be great to get our act together and play those out. I don't care about winning streaks and sweeps...I just want to see us get back to winning series. If we can pull together enough series wins, the rest will fall together.

"Better lucky than good.

Love,

The 2002-2004 Twins"

*yawns*

So...have any new material?

My heart is in pieces.

YES, OMM to the starting rotation! Anything to change things up...b/c we need it!

AMEN RD, I think we all share these thoughts with you...

A note on the trade rumors: Torhu, I didn't hear the radio bit you're discussing, but I think the guys probably were actually talking about Bret Boone (Seattle) rather than younger brother Aaron (Cleveland). And as unenthusiastic as you are about Aaron as a possibility, I think Bret is an even worse option. As I've said elsewhere, Boone is not hitting, his defense has declined dramatically, and Hargrove has benched him in Seattle. Add in that he's expensive and has seemed (at times) unreceptive to coaching, and I can't see what anyone is excited about.

Now if they had a time machine and could trade for the 2001-model Bret Boone, that might make some sense.

Tony Clark, though, is my NL boyfriend this year. Please, Terry Ryan, please bring him to the Twins where he belongs.

(Oh, and on Randa, ESPN says that the Wox are interested, trying to upgrade from Crede, about whom they think they may have been wrong. After three years of hitting ~.235, he might, they think, really be a .235 hitter. I hope Garland's winning streak gives them hope that young players can turn around. I think Randa would be more dangerous there.)

His first comment was that Santana needs to "start winning every game again." as though it was something he could turn on an off.

Yes, it would be nice if Johan would get some wins, but it would also be nice if the Twins bats would wake up again. Johan is doing all he can, but it doesn't really matter if the team can't get any runs across.

BTW, today is Donut day. I wonder if Big Matty LeCroy is celebrating.

Most of them, Mic. One in particular doesn't thrill me...

But Laurie, it's for the good of the team.

Well Lyle showed up last night and so did the ass bats - in fact they have taken an extended stay in the line up -I wish they would leave - they are like in-laws that have over stayed their welcome!! I am most tired of the ass-bats - ass-gloves - the ass-base running - but I still love my boys - I have faith - I have hope - I wont back down until the numbers say so =)

have a FABULOUS day!

Much love
Wonder Woman

more trade rumors.

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/sports/baseball/11951877.htm

Mr. Zellar also expresses it all quite nicely, as usual:

http://www.rakemag.com/today/warningtrack/

NDTF, I have been known to inspire a renaissance or two in my time. If I have to take one for the team, so be it. I am nothing if not a team player... but I am a one-man woman, so as hot as they are, the others will have to find their own Renaissance Woman. Even Jacque.

No offense, but the AL Central will never really be considered the strongest division in baseball as long as the "unbalanced schedule" is in effect.

Well Laurie, what are you waiting for then? Hop on the next plane to Minneapolis!

Yes, laurie what are you waiting for? Don't get me started, I'm relentless.

RD, I believe what I said was, "Johan! Get A Damn Nanny!"

Looking on the bright side, we have Mays pitching tonight. We can count on him.... right?

Um, you guys know I'm only sassing, right?

Sass? At this site?

inconceivable!

Laurie? Sassing? Never!

Purveyor of sass: Yes
Purveyor of sumpin'-sumpin' to total strangers: Uh, NO

Just figured I'd clear that up. ;-)

KF -

shouldn't that be "incontheivable"?

ah, you are correct, herald.

You guys have probably read this already, but I found it amusing and perhaps it'll be new to someone. Carl Everett giving his typically great interview:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8238095/

My response? It's proven that 99 percent of DH's on the BitchSox are idiots.

I heard them talking about the end of his comment on ESPN the other day, but I wasn't really listening, so I didn't know what they were talking about.

it's all so clear now. of course it would be a Bitch Sock who would be small-minded, stupid, ungrateful (to the fans), and hateful enough to say these things.

and you know, I'm NOT going to head directly to a Bitch Sox fan website to taunt them about it.

That last game was a nightmare. I'll be at the Metrodome tonight, and as I've never seen the Twins loose a game in person, maybe the streak will hold up!

Between Carl and AJ, I wonder if some of the Chox have taken to wearing their iPods pretty much all the time around the locker room. Well, I've been known to jaw a bit myself, but I hope sound a little less like a total maroon than CE.

As a Sox fan I would just like to point out that Crazy Carl was certifiably nuts long before we got him. If anything, he's been on relatively good behavior since we got him, well good for him at least.

spiffie is indeed correct.

Wow, TD- I would go crazy if we got Marcus Giles.

My favorite non-Twin. I love the energy that guy plays with.

Any broken chairs seen lately?

Oh, yes. I certainly don't blame the Chicago hotdogs for Carl's refreshing views on the world. Probably something to do with being from Florida. Florida is... well, it's Florida.

mmmm hot dogs.

I won't be back in Minnesota for over a month. I haven't had a dollar dog in probably a couple years.

Patience is a virtue, but also a pain in the rump.

Carl is right about the steroids and the war thing, though.

You know, the thing is, we're getting spoiled. Even if the worst happens and the Twins don't get into the playoffs, we do have a great, competitive team that looks to continue to be great and competitive into the future (have you seen the pitching at AAA these days?). Yes, we had high hopes this year, and we are starting to realize those hopes may not come to pass. And it is bitter, bitter, bitter that the White Sox are actually good this year (although I don't know why they are so happy about being in first place since the Central Divison apparently exists in an alternate universe in which the better team can continually finish in second or even third place so clearly it is meaningless to be in first place in the Central Division). I don't think anyone here really believes it's time to "give up on" the Twins even if it becomes clear they aren't going to win the division. Do we???? Don't we follow the Twins because we love baseball and we love our team and it's FUN? Don't we believe there is still some FUN to be had in the next few months?

I think we are all suffering from sass withdrawal, that's what I think.

RD-
Beautiful.

I do have to note someone pointed out that the entire time his wife was pregnant, he didn't lose a game...

I have to keep reminding myself that we're at the same point we were at this time last year. We are not doing bad when you take the season as a whole so far. We just need to get better from here!

Yeah, what Word Smith said.

Amen, RD, Amen.

I suspect upon BG's return - tomorrow, right? -
there will be some serious ass-kicking in the locker room.

This playing poorly against inferior teams, night-after-night, is getting old. I thought that was over 2 months ago when the wolves packed it in.

I think this just may be one of those Pixie-Dust seasons for the Sox. They come along every 87 years or so. Trust me, I looked it up. ;-)

But I am totally serious about hooking up in mid-October. We will do our part and are counting on Twindom to do theirs.

Here's to a thrilling ALCS...

Love,
kojak

Everett...you so CRAY-ZAY!

I feel bad for Sox fans when one of their guys says something like that. It's sorta the shot to gut that we got when Rincon went on suspension for the drug violation.

Hopefully he'll shut his mouth when he realizes that those things called "fans" that he just pissed off pay his sallery.

He should be fined for comments like that. It's one thing to jaw other teams and management...but you NEVER mess with the fans.

kojak, I agree...though the rivalry and overall jawing would be horrendous come October...an ALCS with two teams not from Boston and New York would make for a heckuva show :)

I hope that it can be a friendly rivalry though...not like that circus that is BOS vs. NY.

Torhu, I hate to defend Crazy Carl, but fans are not always the innocent parties. Actually they hardly ever are. Fans are allowed to "mess with" players all the time, in ways that should not be tolerated. When he played here in NY, he had to stand there and endure chants like "beat your kids, Everett, beat your kids..." and taunts of "child abuser" and "go home and beat your kids!" all the time. And he never talked back, he just took it. Of course it was his crazy-a** wife beating the kids, not him... but the fans didn't know it at the time. Still--why did they feel the need and that they RIGHT to taunt him in this way?

Both sides cross the line at times, but fans do it way more often and way worse. They need to understand that abuse does not come with the price of your ticket. Your ticket is not a license to behave in ways that would get you arrested anywhere else.

That said, I couldn't be more opposed to his sickening views on our society outside of baseball.

Wow, that Strib poll irked me in a big way. Shouldn't they know that true fans won't give up on their team? What a joke....

RD, brilliant.

Just want to put forth a suggestion that may clean up several glaring Twins problems:

Perhaps they need an "Opener." That is, a person that comes out and starts every game, pitches an inning, then turns it over to the "Starter" for 6-7, then the bridge to the closer. The Twins have been giving up way too many first inning leads, and Kyle Lohse has been great in the beginning until his inevitable meltdown. So why not make Lohse the Opener, have him pitch the first inning of every game, and turn it over to Silva, Mays, Santana, etc. for the second through 7th innings? Then you have Romero and company to bridge to the 9th and (if the Twins are up by less than 4 runs) Nathan to close?

Really it sounds all too easy to me... :)

Cheers,
YankeeFan

YankeeFan! Good to see you back! :-)

The Opener concept is bold and brilliant. Time to bring a whole new dimension to the game.

Amen to all 10 points but especially to number 5. Also, I have to agree with LaurieNY regarding fan behavior. I was in Section 141 with a group from work last night, and some Tiger fans were sitting behind us. They weren't profane or abusive, but they were so loud and obnoxious that a number of people got up and moved. While I don't condone such behavior,I'm surprised that more players don't go into the stands and pound the crap out of fans that are over the top.

YankeeFan-

yes, i agree. We do need a Opener. Kyle may have some glaring weaknesses, but usually the first inning isn't one of them. He gets weaker as the game progresses, the opposite of Bradke.

as a side note, i would be EXTREMELY upset if the Twins traded jacque or, as somebody mentioned the other night, torii. i want the soul patrol to win at least ONE world series together.

>Carl is right about the steroids and the war thing, though.

Well, it's nothing but a "tu quoque" fallacy, but that's about as coherent as he gets so I guess I'll give him a C+

Attyfan, is that in the homerun porch?? We were in 214 and were annoyed by those fans.

Attyfan, I feel for you. we in 214 were wondering how anyone sitting down there could stand those people.

I had to walk past their bus in the Dome lot as I headed for my car (not in the Dome lot), and they were almost as obnoxious out there as they'd been inside. yeah, okay, I get it: your team won. settle down.

Though it is clearly the unpopular view, I completely agree with Crazy Carl's view on gaiety. God bless him for having the fortitude to profess his beliefs.

BTW, he did not condemn gays, only their behaviour...

Aurora, 141 is the homerun porch. I am not a violent person, but I found myself hoping that one of them would get hit in the mouth by a Twins homer.

Though some fans are annoying as heck Laurie, 99% of all baseball fans are genuinely nice people.

kojak, although he's free to believe what he wants, it's not always the best idea to say things like that to the media, and I'm guessing it was an unprompted comment. (because why would that come up in the interview?)

Ammendum: At the game...they're nice.

And to add to the "Opener." My dad always jokes about having 9 pitchers each pitch an inning or two a game. It would keep the offense off balance, and would give everybody work.

The only weakness I see is that the time to warm up and cool-down would wear on a guy if he pitched everynight. (Though you could easily have them go two or three innings as the game dictated)

True, kafumbly. It seems like those magazine interviews tend to cover a multitude of subjects, though...

I have to agree with kojak here. While I do NOT agree with his views, I give him props for sticking up for them. And if the way its quoted is the way it was said, it seems like nothing more than an expression of his belief. I know that he's nuts and says dumba** things. But that actually seemed calm and rationally said.

And I can easily see how that would come up in an interview. Given his past and the medias desire for controversy, they could easily have asked him about it.

>God bless him for having the fortitude to profess his beliefs.

Talking about Carl E is one thing, but you're veering off topic and into unwelcome controversey. This is a baseball blog.

Chill Kurtis. I didn't bring up the topic of Carl's interview or what he said. Merely responding to other posts...

Boy, ugly defensive inning for KC.....

Dearest Bat-lings,

I am continually amazed at the fact that people are continually amazed when crazy people say crazy things in response to questions from reporters. Indeed, the continual amazement and interest is why reporters go to crazy, mediocre, ballplayers to ask them questions. To get said crazy responses.

To be quite honest, Carl Everett is a baseball player. He doesn't set policy in Illinois, Minnesota, or any of these United States and therefore, other than his quadriennial trip the the ballot box, his opinion on gay marriage and gays is pretty much irrelevant. Why would anyone be interested in his opinion on the matter as opposed to the greeter at your local Wal-Mart? (At least the greeter at your local Wal-Mart would be something of a people person).

As for Mr. Everett's aforementioned and oft-quoted views on the existence of dinosaurs, I have this opinion: As long as Mr. Everett isn't teaching my children biology or science, he can be as ignorant or blindly bible-thumping as he wants to be. It doesn't harm me a bit. In fact, if his belief that dinosaurs never existed raises his batting average by 10 points, I'd be all for it.

Please direct your attention back to real political issues or Major League Baseball. But not both at the same time.

Thank you,

Shoeless Joe

gosh, aren't we lucky to have you to set us straight, SJ...

[edited by Skorch]

Can we at least say Carl Everett is crazy when he is talking about baseball, such as MLB setting the schedule so it is in favor of the Twins? Because that's pretty crazy.

My only reason for piping up is that if everyone decided they needed to respond to the CE issue by stating their own opinions of the same issues -- the war, gay marriage, dinosaurs -- it would become ugly. Batgirl, upon her return, would hardly want to see her lovely blog become a place to argue politics or religion.

I have a lot of opinions myself, and believe me - you don't want to get me started.

Torhu, you must live in Minnesota if you think 99% of baseball fans are "genuinely nice" people. I've seen and heard things that would curl your hair. I don't know about you, but when I watch or attend a baseball game (you can't really judge by the Twins, who exist in a folksy, feel-good bubble compared to the rest of the teams in this country) and I hear booing and shouting and nasty chanting, I'm not hearing 99% genuinely nice things.

I have no doubt that 99% of *Twins* fans are genuinely nice people. But I've been watching and attending baseball (and basketball, and hockey, and football, and soccer...) games all over the country and indeed the world for I'd say 33 of my 42 years, and what goes on in other ballparks is nowhere near what appears to exist in Minnesota. Geez, why do you think I come here? It's such a welcome departure from what I'm used to!! This is Pleasantville!!

Shoeless Joe, quit while you're ahead, dude. Seriously.

But the scheduling DOES favour the Twins. They don't play a single team from the NFC North!

It's true- I looked it up!

I miss bat-girl. A lot.

All,

I'm not of a Constitutional mind to delete posts. However, I feel compelled to implore you to return to baseball here.

Thanks, RD

p.s. Shoeless? It took a 9-game lead to get you back here? Good to see you again.

Kurtis, you are of course correct. My apologies for my part of the off-topic-ness.

LOL @ Laurie! Pleasantville indeed. This is truly a gregarious group! ;-)

I apologize for any hijacking that might have been perceived of me.

Kojak, spend a week going to sporting events in New York, and then come back here and tell me this ain't Pleasantville. If this team played in New York, they would not only be wearing earplugs and keeping their families away from the ballpark, but they'd be too demoralized to put on their uniforms by now.

I like Twins World much, MUCH better.

Oh, I am totally agreeing with you Laurie

Crazy Carl just jacked a 3-run dinger

5-0, bottom 5

A nine... game... lead. Thanks for that, RD. Reality just came rushing back and smacked me over the head with an a**-bat.. YIKES!!

Shoeless Joe - You are on thin ice. Your "agent provacateur" bit is getting tired. E-mail me if you have a problem.

Sox-fan lurker, sass-lover here. Just wanted to pipe in with a couple thoughts:

1) Carl Everett is quite possibly certifiably insane. However, in most places that he's played, he's been acknowledged to be an excellent teammate, and mentor to younger players. And when healthy (as infrequent as that may be), he's generally been productive, all of which renders his insanity virtually meaningless.

2) If one were to poll a cross section of America, I'd hazard a guess that you'd find a not-insignificant minority that agree with each of his stated opinions. If you were to poll a cross section of MLB players, I'd guess that %would rise. IMO, that's a much scarier point than that CE himself holds those views. Perhaps he should be more circumspect in interviews, but that's obviously never been his style. It's not like he went off on a rant against anyone, merely stating that he disagrees with certain behaviors (and he separated gays from "gay behaviour"). You may disagree with his opinions, but they're actually not all that uncommon.

3) If you were to poll all MLB players who've played at Wrigley, I think you'd find a MAJORITY that agree with Carl. While it's a nice place to see a ballgame, all I've heard from players, media, etc is that it's a pretty horrible place to participate in one. Cramped, old, & smelly. And that does't even factor in the possibility of a hunk of concrete arbitrarily deciding to embed itself in your cranium.

4) I'm going to go out on a limb and call it a 9.5 game lead pending tonight's Tigger/Twinkie tiff. Barring some hardening of the creamy center currently wracking the team, it's going to take a significant change of fortune in both cities for the division to get competitive. I believe if the Sox play .500 from here on out, the Twins would have to play .600 to beat them. Could happen though, and no one believes the Twins are EVER going to give up and lie down.

5) I would love nothing more than for the ALCS to be an all-ALC "grudge match". Here's hoping both teams can keep up their respective ends.

Respectfully, (and sassily) yours,

Flight#24

A 9 or 10 game lead is so meaningless at this point in the season. I would never count out the Twins. They have the talent, they just need to "click" and they will.

I would never count out the Twins either, kojak. It's just that "nine games" sounds so... *icky*!! ;-)

icky? Is that one of those NYC words? ;-)

Dearest Skorch,

You have to power to edit posts, of which Shoeless Joe cannot complain. There are idiots on the Internet everywhere, some of whom need editing. But in posting on and off here for a year and a half, you should also recognize that Shoeless Joe is never mean-spirited and is most always tongue-in-cheek, including the post that you edited (which was meant as a funny...even Shoeless Joe misfires on a funny every once in a while).

Dearest Ron, I never really leave, I just don't always have something to say...my original response was meant to jibe the blog post for calling the Sox lucky, when, in fact, Sox fans have been calling the Twins lucky for three years. Your "luck" is my team's "great baseball." And vice versa. That's what makes us fans of our respective teams! If were all objective about our team's performances, we'd be a bunch of Tim McCarvers. And then we would suck.

-SJ

Tim McCarver? Didn't he play "Eb" on Green Acres?

Shoeless - Considering the tone, no, it sure as hell didn't sound "funny". Kafumbly indeed DOES have the ability to edit posts herself in Batgirl's absence, and her restraint in not banning you outright is amazing. She's a dear, respected, and constant presence on this site and certainly doesn't deserve any crap from you. Your history of "tongue-in-cheek" or not, I read your post as being incredibly rude.

I'm serious as cancer on this, and this is the last I'll say on the subject. If you have anything to add to the discussion take it up with me privately.

Kojak... "icky" is one of my Pleasantville words. It's safe to say you won't hear that word at a baseball game here. Geez, some of the words you hear at a baseball game here would be bleeped out of the Sopranos!!

LaurieNY: "Reality just came rushing back and smacked me over the head with an a**-bat.." Well, at least we know you weren't hurt. A**-bats can't hit anything solidly.

The Twins are just distraught over the absense of Batgirl. When Team Batgirl comes back, and presumably Sooz has a chat with them, we should be back in order. What do they have to work for when there's no official Boyfriend of the game?

I never leave a game until the last out/run. Until then, anything can happen. It's happened often enough. I won't give up on this year until the season is over. And then I'll be looking to next year's team.

Yeah. The stats are way too depressing... bring on the sass!!

JustBeth, are you going to the game tomorrow for your Cuddy poster? I think of you every time (well, for a hazy second, anyway, before I start thrashing about in torment) I see that promo... that boy is a little smartypants, isn't he?

Just Beth,

Amen to that.

See, e.g., last night's Yankee game.

Gleefully helpful,
YankeeFan (who has only left a ballgame early once -- because of a terrified nephew).

YankeeFan, don't make me come over there... ;-)

Somehow, "I hope the Twins can beat the Tigers to even the series and stay in the single-digit deficits in the division" doesn't get me up for tonight's tilt.

Does anyone know any good hexes to put on the WhiteSox?

I agree that something needs to change. With Cordell gone, someone needs to get that chair he broke in Cleveland and break it some more. Break some other stuff too. Throw a big cooler full of bubble gum on the field, kick dirt on homeplate, throw a champagne glass into the fireplace. Give someone a hot foot. Get a voodoo doll of an umpire and plenty of pins. Gardy, throw your hat a few more times.

If that doesn't work, try the big papi huggy approach. That works too.

I'd like to apologize for even posting that link to "Crazy Carl's" interview. It was meant to be a "haha, he's crazy, lets laugh at the barbaric Sox player" type of deal, but ended up starting a big, ugly, nasty debate in which censorship and fan rights have become issues.

My bad...

Lets all have a big group hug and a nice, frosty beer.... and pray for our beloved Twins to get back on the winning track.

Amen, Brent!

Good idea brent...just make mine a nice single malt. Will we need to hold hands or anything?

While I respect any man who respects scotch, I'll have a gin & tonic. Something about hot weather requires a gurgle of gin, a splash of tonic, and a wedge of lime.

I'll have a nice, frosty iced green tea, please.Thanks! :-)

lime for sure, Kurtis. everything is better with a splash of lime.

well, almost everything.

mmm... gin.

Holding hands... hmm....

We can partner up for the hand-holding (which is optional), but that's as far as we can go because one hand must be free for the beverage.

And in honor of poor Carl who inadvertantly started this, boys can only hold girl's hands and girls may only hold boy's hands.

How about we link arms? That will not only keep two hands open for beverages, but will also help our bases-loaded mojo.

Ah, what the hell, this is 2005. Hold anyone's hand that you want to, so long as you remember to support the Twins in getting through this slump.

Yes! What Heraldguy said sounds great. Link arms and keep drinking.

LaurieNY-
I haven't seen the promo for the Cuddy poster, but, yes, I'm going. I'll try to get another one for you. One of the "kids" I'm going with might be willing to give up theirs...silly kids! I'll let you know! :)

Okay, I thought of all kinds of things I wanted to say on the way through this thread, but wisely waited to post anything until I'd read it all. And what sticks in my head is brent's last suggestion. Frosty beer.

MMMMmmm. Beer.

Oh, yeah. And baseball. And beer.

hrunting-

click my name to link to a little tribute to you.

"Beer.

The cause of (and solution to) all of life's problems." - Homer Jay Simpson

YF

Beer and baseball, throw in a little sass.
And keep cheering for our boys.

"I know God loves us because he gave us beer"
Ben Franklin

Ah, Just Beth... I was wondering why you were still coherent! That explains it.

"Take me out to the ballgame,
take me out with the crowd,
buy me some beer and some beer and beer...
[HO-MER!!!!]
...and some nachos."

(Also Homer Simpson, with a little admonishment from Marge)

Correct that quote
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Ben Franklin

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry

Sometimes when I reflect backon all the beer I drank I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come
true than be selfish and worry about my liver. --Jack Handy

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. --Ernest Hemingway

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. --W.C. Fields

and finally....

Always carry a small flask of whiskey in case of snake bite. Further, alway carry a small snake. -- W.C. Fields

Regarding drinking, I have no rule. When others drink, I like to help them. - Mark Twain

sorry, SDave -- I couln't leave you with that "finally." You left out one of my favorites!

And Kafumbly (sniff), I'm honored. I may have to hang out in the Batcave more, if there's toasting involved.

Oh, and baseball.

Ooops! I meant Aurora. That's what happy happy fun drinks do.

That IS a great one...I have added it to my list.

and, yes, there is often toasting involved in the Batcave and sometimes even some baseball

The only one I can think of is the song "I Like Beer" by Tom T. Hall.

I like beer
It makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer
It helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow
(Makes him feel mellow)
Whiskey's too rough, champagne costs too much, and vodka puts my mouth in gear
This little refrain should help to explain
As a matter of fact, I like beer.

hrunting, it was kafumbly's toast. I merely brought it to your attention.

And indeed the batcave is a great place to be for off topicness. Such as the list of toasts currently overtaking this site. Might I suggest you take them to the batcave?

And one from my favorite writer, who has many splendid quips about the sauce.

“Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” - P. G. Wodehouse

Here's what I think.

BSox are playing great. Hats off to them. Luck is only a small factor. grumble, grumble

Shoeless Joe always cracks me up. Keep posting.

Twins have had losing streaks before. M & M boys need to relax and have fun. Hits will start coming. Morneau will start hitting bombs. Just wait till we face the Sox in late August. That'll be war.

This particular BSox fan does not like seenig too much dissention in BG's world. To quote as fine an Irishman as I'll ever acknowlege, Declan McManus, "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?"

Since I am like most other BSox fans in being a glass-half-empty guy, at least when it comes to Baseball, I don't particularly think this race is over yet, either. I reserve the right to gloat in private, though.

BTW, mas, the actual Ben Franklin quote is "Wine is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy." But who am I against so many who wish the beverage in the quote to be beer.

Could someone refresh my memory? I'm too lazy to look back in the archives, but it seems to me that Nate Robertson, who is pitching for the Tiggers tonight, ate our beloved Little Nicky Punto at some point. Can anyone verify this for me? I'm concerned about LNP getting eaten again, what with his hamstring problem and all.

Great post, RD.
I thought of you and Joe Angel last night when it came time to do the stars of the game. Both Dan and Gordo began to chuckle, and it was if they caught themselves, stopped and said, "uh, Tori made a good catch." and the thought of only one star and getting canned seemed to sober them up.
So, you're post begs the question:
Are you the Big Guy With Glasses?

All this talk of beer makes me thirsty. I believe it was either William Shakespeare or Nicky Punto who said:

"I doth, therefore I quaff"