Batgirl, did you check out ESPN page 2 today?

6. Minnesota Twins (8-6). The Twins have the vicious Johan Santana, they have the promising Joe Mauer, and they have the devastating Joe Nathan. These things are good. But without question, the Twins' greatest resource is Batgirl. Only Batgirl has the stones to call Ozzie's club the "B---- Sox." Only Batgirl has the focus required to go all game-face on her own kitties: "That I'm-so-cute-I'm-a-kitten thing is getting way old, you hear me? Way old." When the Twins win the AL West, there'd better be a seat at the glory table for Batgirl.

remember folks, no TV tonight. Herby, Gordo, and Dazzle will take care of us.

Let's hope they left the runners-in-scoring-position-ass-bats behind.

k-bro

If Batgirl is responsible for the Twins winning the AL *West*, then she's got even more incredible powers than I had imagined. She doesn't just have sass and kitties, she can realign leagues with the power of her MIND!

Helling update: (if you care)

I work for MLB.com as a minor league stats stringer, which means I sit at a computer at MLB.com headquarters and take calls from minor league parks with inning updates, and then put the info into Gameday. Its a cool job.

Anyway, today I was scoring the Texas AAA game, and Rick Helling was the starter. He looked fantastic until the 6th inning, when he blew up, allowing a grand slam, a 2-run homer, and about 1,000 runs. Of course, he was the game winner because the other team's pitcher was even worse, giving up 13 runs by the 3rd inning.

Looks like we dodged a bullet there.

NY-Brian

wow. hahah

nice job btw!!!

Shaun, thanks. I'ts good to see ESPN has some stones of their own.

Now, not so sure about me, as I may just watch "Lost" if it isn't a repeat. I've been through all the repeats I can stand in the last 2 nights with 20 lob. Well, maybe eyes on one and ears on the other.

It was nice to see Batgirl get mentioned on ESPN again today, and quite frankly I for one am surprised that BG is not writing for ESPN or MLB.com, doing a Tuesday Morning Quarterback type thingie or a Sports Guy thingie. BG would is of course better then the SG, because atleast she is able to post stuff every day. Bill Simmons is a slacker :) and even worse then that he is a sore winner Boston fan.

Not sure if I'm in love with Bat-Girl for her brashness, or hate her because as a Sox fan, she is well...damn.

Love the site, will have a good laugh at your musings all season.

Especially as you fall behind the mighty pale hose!!

/me flees

No need to flee, my friend. I wish all your compatriots were so good humored.

Sincerely,
BG

So, now that batgirl has been officially recognized by ESPN for the first time this season, what's the over/under on the term ass-bats being used by eric neel or bill simmons in one of their collumns?

The ESPN accolades are well-deserved Batgirl!! Keep up the great work.

And if you have the power to will in some RBIs tonight, it would be appreciated!

Dear Mr. Shaun,

My power is only so great.

Woefully,
BG

Trust me, most of the "bitch-sox" fans, are really bitter Cub fans in disguise, because the South-Side has yet to need the excuse of a curse for our years of futility.

Most of us are ok...when sober...not streaking the field.

I better stop now. :)

hahaha...Kansas City announcers on mlb.tv

"They say [Santana] hasent even been really good yet. He's given up a hit for every inning pitched."

SO glad he's on our team.

Tripped over this link while reading Page 2 on ESPN. This may be the funniest stuff I have ever read! BTW, I am a member of White Sox Interactive (RELEASE THE HOUNDS!) and posted this link on their forum. Most WSI-ers had major kudos.

Keep up the great work and thanks for the LOLs!! You rock BatGirl!

BG:

I have no idea what has been said before, but I am a "Bitch Sox" fan who is reasonable. Sox and Twins fans really want the same thing--a desire to see the best team win. Can we agree that whichever ballclub has the best record at the end of the year is the best team?

Head to head battles and the small sample sizes they present are really meaningless. Rivals are fun to play, but winning against them doesn't make one team better than the other. Any claim of superiority on either "side" before the postseason is baseless. Likewise, the fact that the Twins have won for the last thousand years (or so), doesn't mean that the anyone should assume that the 2005 Twins are better than the 2005 White Sox. That's why they play.

Best,

Mike

Dear friends,

Despite several much beloeved posters from White Sox Nation, Batgirl has been feeling very dark about White Sox fans today. But you two have helped her see the light. Thank you.

Love,
BG

hmmm... mikes post confuses me a little. Its just so easy to hate the bitch sox and to think of them as a lesser team, a JV twins, if you will.

In other news, my computer is so F-in slow tonight i can't even load mlb.com. i guess i'll have to hope for sportsline to be working... i have a good feeling about tonight.

hmmmm that good feeling i was talking about just got to be less of a good feeling when i noticed LeRoy standing at first base.. Dammit anyway.

Could be worse Tinger, you could be trying to watch Gamecast using a God-forsaken Mac!!

Oh, the horror! The pain!

Dearest Mr. Tinger,

But Johan's on the mound so no one will actually have to field.

Love,
BG

And... Sit down, bitch!

J

Remember, Tinger, that the good Doctor cannot return to the lineup until Friday.

MK

JOHAN'S A FATHER!!!!

they just said his wife gave birth to a daughter an hour ago!

I've noticed johan is kinda all over tonight, evne though he got that first J right off the bat. I hope he's not still Pope-talkin in the dugout...

Yay! There's an heir!

WOW! Congrats El Presidente! i guess that is reason enough to start out a little shaky... Now he's gonna go out and win it for the lil' prez.

In a previous comments section, someone mentioned that we dont have a cute name for the Royals yet. Can I recommend the "Archdukes of Mediocre Baseball"? You know, since they call themselves the Royals, and they play some pretty mediocre baseball. Maybe call them the Archdukes for short. Just a thought.

Happy birthday indeed!

If it were a boy, i bet our scouts would have been in the hospital room for the birth... and ready to sign him...

Doesn't that make two First Daughters for El Presidente?

A baby Santana! Wonderful news. Some genetic material just must be passed on.

ITS LIMA TIME!

I like Jose Lima. I dont know why. I just hope he sucks tonight

you know... that is QUITE the dedication to be out there pitching with your wife in the final stages of labor... damn.

*salute* I'm glad you are with us Santana but somehow, I just don't feel quite worthy.. I sure hope you can put all that great feeling to work!!

Hmmm, Ryan, i don't know if i feel right giving them a nickname. I mean, i feel bad enough for them just calling them the Royals...

Ryan,
I call the Royals "the Landed Gentry", myself. Of course, I'm probably the only person in the world who finds that funny, but hey. I take my giggles where I find 'em.

Making quick work of the AB's tongiht, i see...

Go JOE!!!

That's MY boyfriend!

Way to go JOE!

MAUER POWER!!!!!

A first-inning lead? Say it ain't so. Touch 'em all, Joe!

Tinger-
I def agree with you on that one. Even if they werent the royals though, i'd just feel too bad for them to give them a nickname

CHAIRMAN!!!!!!!!

WHOOHOOOO!! CHAIRMAN GOES YA-YA!!!!

he's gotta have birthdays more often so he can homer on the day before and after all the time!

Have they announced yet whether they're calling the new baby "Batgirl"? They really should.

Joe Mauer is my non-sexual homerun-hitting Twin-Citian man-crush.

Somewhere, Bradke is jealous.

Yessssss!!!!

I do like Landed Gentry, though... it's not particularly insulting, just a bit awkward. Appropriately so, I say.

MAUER WILL GET EATEN BY FAT LECROY BEFORE THE SEASON ENDS!

Did Bradke give him a high 5 when he got to the dugout, or did he punch him and ask "where the hell were ya last night?!"

You gotta wonder just how much that really pisses him off... even though he's a team player and loves to see them win...

Dear Mr. Shingo,

One more trolling post and I will ban you. Play nice if you want to play.

Sincerely,
BG

Well, the lead is insurmountable now.

Twins = Contracted next year

Johan just became a father? thats probably why he's so jittery. I'd be nervous too. Anyways, that was a pretty good homer for Mauer Power. good to see we took the lead early. does anyone have stats on winning percentage when we lead from the start?

JW

SHINGO, man. Harsh much?

To clarify:

First, I think it is fair to say that, yes, White Sox fans have been bitter b/c the Twins have clearly been much better in previous years. However, with all the changes to the CWS team this season, there is no justification or rationale for your assumption that they represent some "lesser" team. At this point in the season, your comment is arrogant b/c there are simply too many variables. The CWS are only a lesser team AFTER they have proven to be one. I will be happy to admit that the Twins are better if they finish ahead.

Shingo, lay off the crack, dude. I mean, really. Just chill. relax. Everything is gonna be ok.

Tinger,

Likely a little of both.

MK

Dear Mike,

I think he was just saying that he was confused because now he had to confront some very classy WS fans. And yes, lets let the best team win.

Sincerely,
BG

Shingo-
I think its your bedtime. Isnt 7:30 a little late for kindergardeners to be logging onto daddy's computer? Go back to your devil rays fan site.

The Chairman makes it a little easier for his battery mate the Pres, and loses a ball in the family section.

Another Sit down bitch! I like this.

J J

Man, the President is whipping through the order, and he's not even CLOSE to on yet. Poor Royals...

J-J

Berroa, that one was for the kid!

Eli Marrero is batting clean up in the major leagues. So when does it start raining sulfur?

Dearest Readers,

Please ignore people who come in to troll. I've banned the poster.

Sincerely,
BG

whoa, Johan, settle down... hit the zone. playin catch out there with the nice guy in the mask... there ya go. Bradke style!

Mike-
I think the main point is that a majority of white sox fans dont realize that the Twins are the top team in the AL Central until they lose it or pohlad decides to sell the team to Steinbrenner.

I love how good Johan is when he's "off."

BG- Ignore *WHO?*

:)

Tinger,

It is such a pleasure to have you posting..

Makes me laugh every time!

BG-

Are you writing from the game?

-NYB

oh, so we can get a base hit with the bases EMPTY! well, its a start, i guess. Nice shot Sweetcheeks.

I took a photo of the Santana family at spring training and had it blown up and gave it to Johan for them. Looks like it's a little outdated already. Congrats to Johan and his bride.

Batgirl is at home with the BatKitties tonight.

Nice steal sweetcheeks. Its up to you to bring him in JJ!

Oh geez! who'd have thunk that Hunter would steal second?

Babs- thanks, i try.

NIIIIIICE!!!!!

God, I love Cambria home runs.

And Torii continues to earn the most-exciting-basestealer title he was given in Spring Training...

Wow. Way to go Double J! whooo hooo!

pickoff attempts? 3 of them? ON TORII?!?!?!?!?!? what are they thinking?????

Had to go answer the door-- what just happened? Oh. I see. YAH!!!

BOOOOOOM!!!!

Now thats the stuff. Just hit it out so theres noone to strand on base!

And why are we swinging at 3-0 pitches again Jacque? Jose Lima WILL throw you another ball. Just wait him out.

you know what... forget I said anything.

Dost mine eyes deceive me?

Did lil Sweetcheeks just hit a homerun with a runner on base?

And I seem to be running a little behind tonight. Stolen bases are nice, but home runs with people *on base* are even better...

Bradke can't contain the tears.

Isn't it ironic how we try so damned hard to play small-ball all the time, and steal bases, and then we hit a friggin home run!? Not that i'm complaining, in fact, i love it. But MAN! Bradke's gotta be either as pissed as you can get, or just sitting in the corner, laughing his ass off right now... finding humor in it because he saw this coming

Woo-hoo!

Who are you, and what did you do with Jaqcue Jones?

Actually....forget it.

So did Torii just decide to be Lou Brock this year, or what? Or perhaps he has decided that Podsednik or no Podsednik, no Wox player will lead the league in stolen bases.

I am digging the running game.

And homer for Jacque. Very nice.

Who wants to lay odds that Santana had a little...talk with the guys before the game?

hmmm Tiffee... that wasn't so sexy.

Dear MK,

Perhaps you could write tonight's gamer!

Yours,
BG

Maybe the guys just like Johan better?

Nahhhhh.

-NYB

Geee...real funny guys.
I give you a 3 run game and you cant score any runs. BUT, when the shutout man is on the mound you find it necessary to put 3 runs on the board in the first 2 innings. Where's the love for Brad?

Who wants to lay odds that Sooze had a little...talk with the guys before the game?

Incidentally, Koskie looks dandy in tonight's game (MYY @ Tor), and was even associated with the trivia question.

YankeeFan

Wow, the bottom half of _that_ inning just blew by....

Ok, fair enough. I happen to think that neither team is better this year until there is a large enough sample size to justify any claim. Anyway... good luck, I hope both teams do well. I'm so tired of people rippin' on the Central. I'd love to see both make the playoffs.

As a W#^$@ #$x fan, I'd like to say that:

a) I enjoy the banter here.
b) Do respect the Twinkies. They are always in the thick of things.
c) I am jealous that the Twins have BG. Oh for the Sox to have a witty, passionate, and semi-non-vulgar fan.

Oh, and I love the legos. It keeps me coming back.

Formerly Aaron, now BuckyBacker

Top half. My mind's gone.

does anyone else like the 'Twins Territory' commericals they play on the radio?

MK- i think he had a little talk with them before the YEAR... something like "hey fellas, get me alot of runs, but don't do anything for Bradke... because first of all, i like run support, and second, it helps my chances of winning another Cy by not having competition from within the organization".

i don't know, i got nothin

Semi nonvulgar? Really?

Mike--
That's a sentiment we can all get behind, I think. I'm tired of all the Central-busting, too.

BG - don't let it go to your head:
ass-bats
ass-crap
and many others
make you semi-nonvulgar :)

the other half is 20% multivulgar :)

YF

BuckyBacker, I'm right there with you on number c!

uh, make that letter c?

Oh, yeah, what's up with Cuddyer? I have him on my fantasy team, and well, he's been draggin' ass so far. Is his swing off? Has he been unlucky? I noticed he still manages to get on base, but where's the beef?

Dear Mike,

There is no beef. There was tons of beef in spring training, but right now most of us have a beef with DJ. Cuddles. We hope he straightens out soon.

BG

YESS!! MLB is back up and running... I'm happy again

J J J !!!

And somewhere, in a hospital room, in the arms of her mother, Baby Santana mutters her first words...

"sit down, bitch"

J-J-J

Well, there went the no-hitter. (You KNOW he's going to pitch one someday! But not today.)

(cackling)
Nice, Tinger

haha, even the Royals announcers want the inning over. Thought the inning was over after the strikeout for out 2

I guess it was too soon to hope for a perfect game, eh? I need to quit imagining these things, it's like a karmic jinx.

Sometimes I kind of miss Denny Hocking. There's something to be said for a guy who can be mediocre at every position.

back-to-back singles... MAN, can you imagine the excitement that must be buzzing around KC's dugout right now?!

hehe... poor little guys...

Aw, Man. There goes the shutout, too. Well, I guess Johan wants to leave room to improve as the season goes on....

Okiay, Johan, time to settle down...

ARG!!!!!!

ASS-CRAP!

AAACK!

Oops.

Yoinks.

holy crapballs, 3 in a row... i'm not worried, but damn... what the hell is going on here?!

Maybe Johan got word of the baby's first words, and he's all got fluttery stomach or something... DAMMIT that should have been foul. Now i'm upset. Still not worried, its cute that we're giving the royals such a big chance, but dammit anyway!

EXCUSE ME, MR. PRESIDENT!!! PLEASE STOP TOYING WITH THEM AND SIT THEM BITCHES DOWN!

didn't mean to blow up.

*sigh*

Wow, how long has it been since the phrase, "Kansas City Hit Machine" was used?

He just wants to get pulled so he can see his baby. And the guys will be able to score approximately 14 more runs in this game, so i'm not worried.

Dang it sweeny. Dont hit 3 run bombs on el presidente. It's just not nice

Nice J. Sweet, pretty J. Want more.

::::BB is slow tonight since his computer is not remembering his personal information. Maybe BG's server knows he is a Sox fan????::::

BG: semi-non-vulgar in relationship to Sox fans in general.

I love my Sox, but as I found out last year from sitting in the bleachers and cheering for the Mariners (don't ask, long story), Sox fans say two things.

First cheer is _____ Sucks! (Fill in the blank with anything). We aren't the most intelligent group in the gene pool.

The second cheer always sounds like it came out of the mouth of a sailor. I'm not sure what the rating here is, but B*@#& Sox is mild.

Thanks for the happy thoughts (and distractions from a paper on school improvement)

BTW - Sox in October, Twinkies at home.

J J J J

Now to deal with the R R R R...

No more lollipops til ya get home, Johan.

Thank you Mr. President.

J-J-J-J

Just got home from work to see the Twins up 3-1. First pitch I see on MLB.TV was Sweeney's homer. Man oh man what is going on??

And here we go with the game within a game again..

But that was a pretty good toss, think anyone's gonna beat it tonight?

tell me we didn't curl up into a ball and start playing like Bradke is pitching tongiht...

Tinger,

We didn't curl up into a little ball.

Well, *I* didn't, at least...

MK

WHOOHOO! its "cool golf umbrella night" in Kansas City this friday! who's in!?

Tinger,
Maybe the Twins were just shocked by Sweeney's homer. They'll shake it off next inning.
If they GIDP with bases loaded again, though... *growl*

J J J J J

I dont really want to give them the time of day, but for some reason, the B.S. "fans" that keep posting here remind me of streakers during a college exam. We're all trying to accomplish something (like defeating the Archdukes) and they come in. You try to ignore them, but its just unsettling. Also, they clearly aren't smart enough to participate in what the larger group is participating in, and often arent well endowed.

A note to say, Mike or other well behaved southsiders. This isnt directed at you because you are obviously a fan, and not a "fan".

Sit down, bitch!

J-J-J-J-J

I Want a golf umbrella!!!!

does anyone else with mlb.tv think that their mascot is absolutely ridiculous? for everyone else, its a lion (i think) that looks like he has a crown surgically attached to his skull, its the same color as the rest of the fur and looks completely blended into the head.

"I AM THE ALPHA MALE!" - Johan Santana, after suboordinate males tried to usurp his power.

are you kidding?! LeRoy only got a single out of that?! Hahaha

Did Matty really just single off the left-field wall, or is Gameday wrong?

Hey matty!! there's a doughnut on second base!!

DAMMIT!!! LOL did LeRoy just fall down rounding first?

(Don't forget about the donut at second, LeRoy, and its not available "to go"

Ryan,

Having lurked around here for a while, I can report that the asshats get especially thick whenever BG gets any sort of national attention.

The upside to this is that a couple of decent folks tend to stick around after the initial torrent.

MK

Uh, yes. As only Matty can.

Woohoo, Torii!

Well, he's good for comic relief both in the clubhouse and on the field.

YES!!! it worked! i *knew* there was a way to get LeRoy on second... way to get him there, sweetcheeks.

Bases loaded.

*deep breath*

Jaques just... walked!

Okay, baby Lew. You know what NOT to do, right?

Come on, Leeeeeeeeew...!

By the way, I sort of like having the Bitch Sox fans posting random crap on the threads. It reminds me of when I was in high school hanging out with my friends and little bratty 10-year olds would sneak up at us and yell at us and then run away, thinking that they were being really clever and mischievous. It was sort of sad but amusing to think that they believed that they were bugging us.

A Jacque walk! Love it.

Drunk for LEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ok, lets see if we learned anything last night, Lew. What AREN'T you gonna do?

Dear Lima,
I'd be scared of Jacque Jones, too.

Bases loaded, no outs. Lets do it correctly this time. HIT THE BALL OVER THE BAGGIE LEWWWWWWWW!!!!

Well, a GIDP will score a run in this instance...

'cmon Lew...

Oh, for-

Dern.

MK

Having lived in NW Indiana the past 4 years, I've come to know a vast number of very delightful Sox fans. It's my experience that the well behaved of this brood are excellent baseball fans, what with not being lured into the media circus/bandwgon that is the Cubs. For the most part, I really do respect Sox fans.

P.S. BatGirl, please dont excommunicate me from the site for being an acquaintance of known Sox supporters.

Dear Twins,

Don't you DARE fail to score a run this inning.

Love,
Sacky

Okay, take two.

C'mon, Tiffee, me lad. You do know what NOT to do, right?

Go sit in the dugout and think about what you just did, Lew. Come on, Tiffee! HIT!

Minnesota doom sense...tingling...

Hey all, saw the link on espn and thought i'd check it out... its no secret that we (KC) will probably be sitting in the basement at the end of the year, but maybe we can give the top dogs (White Sox and Twins) a run for their money every once in a while.... Go Blue!

OMG. OMG. OMG. DAMNIT, TERRY!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

This is NOT NORMAL.

Oh. Oh dear.

The KC announcers are talking about the left fielders arm being too good to try to run on with that short of a fly ball.

Nevermind the whole "LeRoy on third base thing"

YOU'VE GOT TO BE @*@#&&$(@*#$&$ ME

Mr. Infield comes walking in and I'm all happy and I say "Bases loaded with no outs!"

And he rolls his eyes and he says, "Popout, double play."

And so it was. Dammit.

I am at a loss for words...

You've gotta be f'ing kidding me

Merde.

I wish the announcers would stop giving credit to the opposing pitchers. The Sox guys kept saying great job getting out of the jam by (insert name here) and now the Royals announcers said the same thing.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO
FU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*KFU*K

WHY DO WE KEEP DOING THIS!!!!!!!
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(BG, sorry about the near profanity but yelling at the TV just wasnt cutting it)

seriously, kids. At some point Sooz will have to address the grounding into the double play contagion that we seems to be so virulent amongst our boys.

This is getting a trifle [four letter word deleted] frustrating.

*sigh*

Sometimes being right sucks :(

On the bright side,

J J J J J J

Hey, clutch pitching stops clutch hitting every time. And vice versa.

KC jack,
I like the Royals this year (as a team, not as winners). Grienke is my favorite Non-twin MLB player. Wondering: Does KC have anything like Bat-Girl? I know the Nats have Ball-wonk.

BTW, what's up with Lima? He's been awful. Not tonite, but all others. Gobble would have pitched better.
-amr

Ryan, you said it best.

Good thing El Presidente is the man out there.

J-J-J-J-J-J

Well, i now must leave for a while. Hopefully i can make it back for the end of the game, but if not, LETS WIN THIS FOR LIL' PRESIDENTE!!!

Maybe the whole GIDP is self-replicating. The more times the Twins batters see it the deeper it gets burned into their brains.

I'd bet the farm that Johan is not gonna lose his first game since- what, Vietnam- to the lowly Roylows...especially on Junior's birthday

With how many pitches El Presidente is throwing, combined with Gardy's style, Johan probably won't make it to the 7th.

Ah well.

J J J J J J J

Oh, pretty, pretty J.

J-J-J-J-J-J-J

SIT DOWN BITCH~!

I don't think Gardy will take out Johan without at least 10 J's, just because that's mean.

Nice save, stewie! He musta gotten the vibes on that "do it for junior" thing.

Okay. Why hit Rivas?

Sure would be nice to see Rivas on base here... or ever...

... Oh, goody. Now DPs even without bases loaded. You guys used to _turn_ DPs, not hit into them. What IS this?

Ok, that was dirty, but we'll take it however we can get it, i guess.... i predict a steal just to spite lima for his actions.

Gardy seems to be holding el presidente to a strict 100 pitch count, so if he can get through the 6th quickly he'll probably let him go out for the 8th.

But it still wouldn't suprise me to see JC, Juan, or any of our other guys.

Another DP. And to make matters worse, Anwar is voted off and Scott stays. It's a crazy, unjust world.

*groan*

All right! Nice double, Castro! And you guys can't even hit into another DP this inning!

I know, I know, Mr. A. Batgirl feels your pain.

"And to make matters worse, Anwar is voted off and Scott stays. It's a crazy, unjust world."

guh?

NICE!!! attaboy Castro! way to knock us around the bases a little!

man, i hope The good chairman doesn't walk here... then it could geet ugly...

American Idol, Ice.

oh, I haven't been watching :(

I usually try to, but I've been too busy. They as good as last time?

HOLY CRAP! MLB skipped a bit and i didn't realize we GIDP. Stupid bats. we need to go somewhere else to buy our lumber i think...

dammit, enough screwing around boys... lets go out and win this crap!

I think I see what's going on. The Twins seem to be haunted by the Ghost of Guzmans Past.

Is there a priest in the house?

I am noticing I am sighing entirely too much while watching my baseball lately...

There should be no SIGHING in BASEBALL!!

*grumbles under her breath*

(Depends. One really horrible one who seems to get by every week and BG cannot figure out why for the life of her. Yeesh.)

So about the same as last time then...

(Ice is not a Fantasia fan)

J! Whee!

Ok, compared to that homerun swing he took earlier, that first strike was AWESOME!

J J J J J J J J

J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J

NICE.

so the announcers are talkin smack about El Presidente and i'm not diggin it.

talkin about how this won't be a "quality start" for the first time in how long. damn, and i almost respected them so far for not being ass-crap announcers.

"talkin about how this won't be a "quality start" for the first time in how long. damn, and i almost respected them so far for not being ass-crap announcers."

Umm....lesse, 14 days?

I think that's right.

THe worst team in the division has the bases empty with 2 out, and are facing last year's Cy Young winner: they score 4. The best team in the division has the bases loaded none out, and they score zero{0}.They are facing Jose Lima best known for his wife's breasts. They score zero. They have had the bases loaded 6 times in a little more than 2 games, and have scored zero. Does anyone sense where I am going with this? By the way, what is trolling?Al

OH YEAH! J!

J J J J J J J J J

Ok, i walked away for a second, how the hell did that guy get on second?!

Oh, it doesn't matter, El Presidente, you make me so happy sometimes!

J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J

So, al, you admit the Twins are the best in the division?

Hey Tinger,

Your Rivas-loving GF wants you to IM her. She just told me so.

(It's like I'm your mother. Geez. And I apologize to everyone else for this too.)

Trolling is a common message board term used for people who post solely to cause trouble/annoy. Sort of how when you're fishing and you drag your net around you're "trolling" for some fish, or something.

At least I think that's where it originated.

Please, don't feed the trolls.

Al,

Trolling is when someone posts on a message board or thread with the sole purpose of igniting a flame war with the board or site's regulars.

This is usually done by people with the intelligence of a gnat and the emotional stability of a 3-year-old crashing from a sugar high.

MK

From the "if you care dept"

Erik Lohse, the brother of our intimitable Kyle/Lyle, has just recorded a "Hold" in Sarasota, where he pitched for the home team.

-NYB

Also, 91 pitches, Johan will be back for one more, methinks.

Nice, Torii! Nice! Feel like stealing third?

Ice,

I want to agree with you, but Gardy's already pulled Silva and Mays with 65 and 72 pitches, respectively...

MK

Sweetcheeks with an unusually patient AB, and with good results!

3-3 today!

ATTABOY SWEETCHEEKS!

Funny thing about that hit right there... LeRoy woulda only been on first. Now lets get him around to score JJ!!!!

MK - Silava was hurting, I believe, and Mays is coming back from Tommy John surgery. In both cases you definately want to be careful, especially with this bullpen.

Intentional walk?! They're on to us!

Ice,

Point taken.

MK

Dear Mr. Lima,

PLEASE STOP THROWING THE BALL AT LIL' SWEETCHEEKS NUTS!

Sincerely,
Tinger

Noooo!!
Don't walk Jones!
I predict GIDP.
Either Lew or Tiffee after Lew walks.
Depressedly,
amr

That's exactly what Jeb just said, MK.

C'mon Lew, make 'em regret walking Jaques. Make THEM regret it. C'mon, baby.

Today, the there was an awards banquet in which all graduating seniors received a barometer with a little placque on it, all very classy and touching.

That being said, I would give my barometer for a 3-run homer right here.

*THAT* is why that left fielder isn't a twin.. he dind't even TRY for that ball! Sissy.

The royals aren't about the moral high ground.

/me bites nails

Can't. Take. It.

with the full count, jones won't be running so no gidp?

Never mind, Lew walked.

Bases loaded. Should feel happy. Don't.

Um... woohoo? Please? Tiffee? Now would be a great time for a single, a sac fly, a double, a triple, a homerun... a walk....

Do something spiffee, Tiffee!

(Spelling error intentional much like Mauer Pauer)

/action?

You a WoW player or am I readying far too much into that?

Bases loaded, again?!? Is this part of a master plan to drive me nuts?!?

Dear Baseball gods,

Please do not smite the Twins again. Please allow us to score a run with the bases loaded.

Humbly yours,
Sacky

Holding my breath....

AWWWWWWWWWWW ASS-CRAP! i dont' like the looks of this.

Bases loaded again.

(there *should* be no reason an entire STATE takes a deep breath and gets angry when thier team loads the bases...

AT- i just saw that post about IMing my GF... she knows better, the twins are on.

Please, Terry, PLEASE don't forget to put on that "Don't-hit-into-a-double-play" hat this time.

Are we being tested? Just how many times can one stand for this? Please someone erase this curse.

Josh,

I play WoW, was considering making a joke about the priest thing since my main character is a priest (level 60 to boot ^_^).

I know this has nothing to do with the game, but pitching changes are so boring.

Actually, the "/" was a nod to Lew, our fragger-in-residence. As a recovering warcraftoholic, I have sworn off WoW.

Yes, I am addicted to warcraftohol.

Sacky

Whew! Nice sac, TT!

*blink* We... we didn't hit into a DP! Yay, Tiffee! YAAAAAY Torii! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY all around!

A RUN!

bases loaded, 1 out...I'm holding my breath, I've got my fingers crossed, rosary out...am I missing anything?

oh man... *watches the bases load up again*

come ON!! just ONCE if we can get past the GIDP and leaving all those guys on base! I think we could break the whole thing!

The curse is broken. Bases loaded with fewer than two outs, and they actually scored. This should be enough to make Tiffee boyfriend material, if I were that kind of guy.

Sac Fly better than GIDP....

Dear Baseball gods,

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!

I'll take it!

Ice and Josh,

From the CoH side of things, I'm curious about how good WoW would be for the casual player?

MK

amr, have you been paying attention?I have been a Twin's fan since before they left Washington; so there is no "admitting" to be done. I was pointing out their recent disfunctionality, and ineptitude, or do you think they have been playing well? Sorry about the smirk. Thank you to those who explained trolling, but how does it differ from some a-hole merely posting?Al

HOLY JEEZ!!! WE DID IT!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

YEAH!! step one of beating the whole GIDP curse!!

*starts breathing again*

*deep breath*

That's it. Baby steps...

Well, thanks, Rivas. Really.

THANK YOU, darlin' Tiffee. THANK YOU, darlin' Torii. Now, didn't that feel good, guys?

amr, have you been paying attention?I have been a Twin's fan since before they left Washington; so there is no "admitting" to be done. I was pointing out their recent disfunctionality, and ineptitude, or do you think they have been playing well? Sorry about the smirk. Thank you to those who explained trolling, but how does it differ from some a-hole merely posting?Al

well, we got one... coulda got more, but i'm not gonna get greedy...

baby steps... all about the baby steps...

Yay! a run from loaded bases! Way to pop out to deep CF Tiffee!

Anyone know what the record for this kind of futility is, like most hits, hbps, walks, and other team fielding errors in one game with no runs or one run? There should be a stat for that, like runs per baserunner. Maybe gleeman knows.

MK

I'm far from a casual player, so I might not be the best to ask. If you start playing, I would reccommend not signing up for mor than a month at a time, because it WILL pull you in.

Unbelievable!

WHEW!

He must have remembered the hat this time.

Yeah...I was just thinking WoW would be the kinda thing Sweet Lew would do. The only thing more addictive is Twins baseball.

Al,

The difference is in the intent, I think. If someone sticks their foot in their mouth and doesn't own up to it, they can be considered an ass. But if a person posts thinking that what he posts will agitate the natives (re: Shingo, above), then he can be called a troll.

MK

Double-digit J's again for El Presidente.

*yawn*

Nice, but we could do without the big blow-up inning next time.

Oh, and...

J J J J J J J J J

Oops...missed a J. My bad...

This is fun.

99 pitches
66 strikes
33 balls

I like. Well, except for that four runs thing.

Ah, I love seeing players swing off their front foot when El Presidente is pitching. Almost as fun as watching him rack up J's.

Last chance to score and give Johan a chance for the W. I assume that's his last inning.

Not that it matters who gets the W, as long as the team does, but it's always cool to see a Twin leading the league in something ... helps with that all-important Name Recognition that's so essential to success.

I only posted that once, I swear. The sac fly; the Twins had one of those last August. Al

"helps with that all-important Name Recognition that's so essential to success"

funny Andre! Make more!

Andre,

I guess this is a good time to mention that Johan currently leads the majors in struckouts...

sorry about that al. I have not been paying enough attention. I thought you were a Chisox fan, not being ironic. This is my first time commenting since i noticed the jerky Chisox fan comments that have been showing up.

Even if I were paying _some_ attention, I figured "al" might just be popular enough a name that someone else could have said it.

Anyone else see this deal about Nomar collapsing on the field in the Cubs/Cards game?

Tinger,

According to MLB.com, Nomar left with a groin injury.

Pardon me while I double over in sympathy pain.

MK

See, this whole bases loaded thing wasn't exciting me anymore. It was actually making me cringe and feel my heart ache. I can't believe we ACTUALLY scored with the bases loaded.

Way to go Chairman on that homer!

OH, he just pulled his groin real bad. that still sucks. i thought maybe he just keeled over...

bring the chairman home, LeRoy!

(A pleasure to see you again, Mr. mr.)

"I guess this is a good time to mention that Johan currently leads the majors in struckouts..."

Naturally. But the more categories, the better. I think the pitching Triple Crown would be a nice way to follow up his Cy last year.

Well, to be fair to the pitcher, there's a LOT of LeCroy to hit....

Katharriet,

HAhahahahaha!

MK

They just don't look as painful when they hit LeCroy, do they?

LOL @ Kat...

When you look at it that way, it's amazing he doesn't get hit every at bat. ;)

Come on Torii! 4-4 and the hit that drives in the winning run would surely earn you BoD, and isn't that what every Twin wants?

They hit LeRoy... hard to imagine more people don't hit him more often.. he's the iggest guy out there!

Matty hit by pitch: gooosh! Good to know he won't be hurt!

:(

:(

The Vulture comes in! Rincon!

Ooh, in Torii's defense, that was a wicked pitch.

a strikeout looking? that really brings down the whole aura of being 3-3 coming into the at bat...

Even though he didn't get the win, El Presidente is still undefeated since the Carter administration.

Now, what's scarier for all of you? LeRoy on the basepaths or LeRoy in the field?

Why am I feeling a 14-16 inning game? Could we trade for Joe Roa and have him here after midnight?

Ryan,
At the moment, Rivas in the field is scariest.

not to mention that I believe our dear Pres might just have one other "little" thing on his mind.. something tells me nothing could ruin his mood right now.

I still think a nice little win here would be a very appropriate birthday gift for the Santana's even if it doesn't add to his stats. He will get plenty of those as the season progresses.

where IS the Roa Constrictor?

Mk, so it is a matter of perceived intent, thanks. amr, Al is actually a very unusual name. I am one of only 3 people in Mass. with that name. I would not be so angry if I weren't a big fan of their's. I sure the bitch sox fans are delighted with our recent performance.Al

Dear Mr James,

He seems to be a Pirate.

Helpfully,
BG

James,

MLB.com says he's somewhere in the minors. Perhaps in the Pirates organization?

Dang, Rincon is good. I'm so glad he keeps reminding me of that.

Oh, way to go, Rincon!!

In other words: Roa-arg?

Whew! Thanks Boo.

BOYFRIEND! Boo is my GUY!

Dearest Mr. T,

I did make Juan Rincon is my Non Sexual Man Crush shirts.

Sincerely,
BG

Now to give Boo the win so that the Count can pick up the save...

ooh. thanks

R! (instead of J!)

C'mon, baby Lew. You're _so_ due.

Sorry, lost focus, how many j's for the chief executive?Al

"Dearest Mr. T"
-Batgirl

Am i the only one who's rolling on the floor after that?

321 comments and this game isn't even on TV?! Perhaps, Bat Chat is on order.

Mwahahahahahahahah! That's the style, Lew! That's the style! (Error or no)

'at's what I'm TALKIN' about! Run Lew Run!

Roa: Pirates Minors I think.
Checked it. He is. Indianapolis Indians (AAA).
Also on the Team: CJ Nitkowski, who did spring training with the Twins this year.

Anyone know where I can find Minor league stats?

Hooray for other teams' errors!

All right, Tiffee. Boyfriend power! You and Lew win this game!

BG,

Thanks, but I already have the ultra-sexy Boo BF shirt, because I have no fear of being a guy with a boyfriend.

Subversively,

AT

Is this the first IBB of Spiffy's career?

Works for me!

Come on TT!

Gardy to Lew: "If you make it to 2nd, I'll give you back your UT2004 priveledges..."

... Cuddy...? *whispers in trepidation*

Check that, come on Luis!

..N..NO Luis. Put that ass-bat DOWN.

..do iiit. Come on. Good 2nd Baseman. Now take the good bat and go get a hit.

Dearest Mr. T.

I forgot that that was you. That makes Batgirl so happy she could just pass out.

Love,
BG

Man, my comments just keep getting messed up by coaches.

spelling...subrounteens...faylng...

Aw, yeah!!!!! Way to go, Royals! More errors! Yeah!

How do you go from being on the 25-man roster all year for a division champ to not making the Pirates? Had Roa not burnt his bridges last postseason, he might have had a chance.

Wild Pitch! No GIDP until Cuddy walks!

A ball hit over the infield would leave me tickled here. No DP, Ford could hop on down to 3rd.

Lemme guess, walk Cuddyer to load the bases.

Walking Cuddy. That blows my mind.

Stewie, you are SO due. Let's go over the possibilities, like with Tiffee last time: sac fly, walk, base hit, double, triple, homer....

Don't look back, get the monkey off the back.

Beautiful time for Gameday to stop working.

oh no! GameDay froze! I need updates! Give me updates! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I NEED UPDATES!!!!

YES! And THANK YOU Terry Tiffee for not separating your shoulder.

OH, YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! That's the STYLE, Lew!

OH-- Oh-- Tiffee-- Tiffee-- man. Why can't you be more like my other boyfriend. You, uh, did't break anything, right?

single by stewart. lew scores. tiffee thrown out :(

http://cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/gamecenter/live/MLB_20050420_KC@MIN

STEW

Tiffee gunned down. We just can't have a totally pure bases-loaded positive outcome. But I'll take it.

Time for the Count.

Way to go Shannonononononon!

Damn, am I dreaming!?

Stew sneaks a rountine through, Lew scores, Tiffeee out 7-2

BG, this is no time to pass out.

Stewie, HOW do you swing at THIS GUY's First pitch? and WAY TO swing at his second pitch!

arrrgghhh.... Cuddy at the plate and now we have WAIT for a pitching change!??! That's just CRUEL!

yes, yes I am a little nervous.

Cmon, GTX, give us a base hit!

Phew! that grounder was scary, but thankfully it went through. Its a shame tiffy had to try that though. Oh, and sportsline's gamecenter has not seriously frozen on me for a while. you might want to try that one.

I think Gameday is a gateway drug so people move up to the harder stuff like audio or video feeds.

Okay, it's Automatic time. We'll be okay. Yes, yes we will.

Thanks Nick for sportline info.

Hey does Stewie get a BF point?

Why is Castro starting at short again? Do I smell a platoon? I was starting to accept Juan's presence when he was an ace late-inning defensive replacement, but I'm not as cool with him as half-time starter. Methinks they should let JB get into a groove.

Heh heh. Strikeout. Yeah.

Nathan is LIGHTS OUT!!

Ooooh! 2Ks!

SIT DOWN BITCHES! heheheheheheh

Count VP Chocula Nathan to hitters everywhere: "Fear me."

My system just recovered from a serious error. Not unlike the Archdukes.

Oh, Joe! One more strike!

Yay Nathanator!

It's times like these that I remember how gut-wrenching Eddie G. use to make saves. Not fun.

Great job Joe!

Here a bitch, there a bitch, everywhere a bitch, bitch...

Woohoo! Woohoo!

I prefer CBS to ESPN for tracking the game...

Nathan is a god. A beautiful, beautiful god.

And the strangely symbiotic relationship between the O's and the Twins continue... with the win and the O's loss, they're back to having the same record. Why? *shrugs* Beats the hell out of me.

Whew. Not the prettiest of win, but an ugly win spends as good as a pretty one.

CarrieIC,

If that's the case, then the O's need to go on a looong winning streak...

MK

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too bad the bitch sox also won.

I can't wait for BG's recap!!

well, I hope the O's lose the rest of the games this season!

way to go Twins!!!

ooh Joe Nathan on the radio

Happy Birthday Baby Santana!!!

Way to go BOYS!!! Nice to see the right numbers on our Twins scoreboard and ...

Nathan... *drool* there are no words.

I think our boys really needed this one. Boo was again the Vulture, and the VP really earned his keep.

Ooohh, I feel so good I could just... do laundry. Which I actually enjoy. Yay!

Dear Bat-lings,

Since the subject came up, and I am the fourth or fifth most recognizable of all the White Sox fans under 40 but over 27 who lives in the Mid-Atlantic and posts on Bat-Girl, I thought I would weigh in on Sox fan postings on Bat-Girl.

First, I note that any popular web site and message board will attract its fair share of trolls and morons. That this is a Twins-focused site means that you'll most likely find such creatures who have an interest in things anti-Twin, such as the White Sox.

Now, you might argue that, "Hey, there aren't as many idiot Twins fans who post on White Sox sites!" That may be empirically true, but not because Twins fans are smarter or more refined. It's because if you are a big enough idiot in Minnesota, you've probably Darwined yourself off God's green earth by freezing yourself to death or driving your snowmobile into a large, immobile object. Go far enough south, and the idiot is likely to survive. Go even farther south, and the idiot doesn't pay much attention to anything at all. Hence, the attendance for the Marlins.

Second, there are people like myself who simply like Bat-Girl and from time to time hope to weigh in and add some joy to the discussion. After all, a lively argument about baseball beats, for example, a lively argument about which is the true faith. Here, and argument is only likely to raise some blood pressure, not start the Schmalkaldic Wars.

I find that one of my favorite reasons to post on Bat-Girl is to humanize White Sox fans. It's a little harder to truly hate Twinkie fans once you've read Bat-Girl. It's that kind of warm humor that fosters good relations.

Remember, it's hard to be a White Sox fan. Since we are South Siders, we grew up near the place where the people who run the city (Cubs fans, them all) decided to place the city dump (I literally mean the city dump, not new US Cellular). Our hometown papers largely ignore us, save to report our subpar attendance. We have gone generations without winning a World Series championship - my grandfather was 9 when the Sox beat the Giant in '17 - yet, we have no lore like the Cubs or the Red Sox or even the Racist Cartoons. Every time you mention you are from Chicago, someone asks if you are a Cubs fan. It's a lonely, rueful existence.

At the same time, I also post to point out that the Twins players are not, in fact sweet angels. For example, Twinkie fans simply ignore the fact that Matt LeCroy killed two people in Southern Utah after a Krispy Kreme binge and got off on a "technicality." Or the fact that Juan Rincon likes to capture and strangle squirrels in his spare time. And don't get me started on Torii Hunter. [Edited by JEB]. He'll never be allowed in Lithuania again, that's for sure.

And, in the end, you all might be a wee bit over the top with your attitude toward the situation. When mentioning the Twins, the best we can muster is the weak nickname the "Twinkies" - a reference to a delightful snack cake - or "Twhiners" which is at best Dickinsonian in its awkward sound change. On the other hand, Bat-Girl and others use a name that couldn't be said on NBC in 1965 to refer to our team. And, whereas Hawk Harrelson nearly got into a fistfight with Kent Hrbek (please buy one of Torii's "I's") based on Hawk's "Grab some bench!" in the early 90's, you use a more demeaning and vulgar phrase for the same. So, I might point out that, in fact, your feces due have an odor as well, no matter how well the BatKitty Litter works.

Warmest regards,

Shoeless Joe

Carrie, I _am_ sorry about the O's. But, for your sake and ours, we need to break that affinity. You on AIM, girl?

Dearest Joe,

I absolutely appreciate what you say, but we have had quite a lot of ugliness today, most of which no one here has seen.

Sincerely,
BG

MK -- Indeed.

James -- Uh, no. Actually, as I've noticed, the nature of the symbiotic relationship is that their record tends to stay the same, and when it differs, it only differs for a day or two. When the O's won last night and the Twins lost, it upset the balance -- the O's loss tonight and the Twins win brings it back into equilibrium (at least, for these first few weeks). So, naturally, what we want is for both of them to go on long, long, *long* winning streaks. And my world will be a happy place.

I'm not sure why this relationship seems to exist, but probably I have something to do with it. Strange karma or something. I'll be sure to build a small shrine and sacrifice some Yankees fans to do what I can to appease the baseball spirits (no offense to any that happen to be here, I'll be sure not to sacrifice you or any of your relatives).

Brian Roberts' hitting streak ended tonight, but I consider that a reasonable sacrifice to continue Santana's no-loss streak. My gift to you.

(me? take myself too seriously? no way.)

*still glorying in the Nathanest of Nathans*

Cambria is a countertop material made of (I believe) quartz, that is not porous and extremely durable.

I can answer the question about Gutter Helmet too, if needed.

Shoeless Joe,

Thanks for your comments. It's people like you that make these boards more fun and interesting. As for the frequent use of the b-word, I for one certainly wouldn't say it to a player (especially a big one like Hrbek or the Big Hurt). That's just poor sportsmanship. I also wouldn't taunt a fan of an opposing team with it. Hopefully most here wouldn't. But on a site that is safely "Twins Territory," we feel a little more comfortable throwing around some terms that might offend some people outside the family.

The point that idiots in MN (there are some - remember the Throwing-Crap-At-Knoblauch incident?) are more likely to be Darwinned off is amusing but it sort of ends there. Obviously, the reason you find fewer Twins fans trolling and taunting other fans is not really that they've already died. In reality, I suspect it's either a real difference in attitudes and behavior, or else it's the fact that we, unlike many fans, have a really excellent hometown blog (thank you so much, BG) to serve as an outlet for our baseball fandom.

BG, please don't lose heart over trolls. Remember that the vast majority of your contributors are kind, thoughtful Batlings, and that trolls are simply a sad reality of any highly successful blog. It will probably forever be a constant battle, so it's best not to lose sleep over it. We salute thee for your service!

In BatGirl We Trust,
Sacky