Twins at Chicago. Bitch Sox 3, Twins 1.
The Twins clubhouse was as chatty as usual before tonight's game, despite the rather lackluster loss of the previous day. The guys had had lots on their mind the last few days, what with all the uncertainty in the air, but they knew that once things were more settled, they'd get back to their winning ways. So, as game time grew closer, and music blared through the clubhouse, Matt LeCroy could be found practicing his dance steps with TC Bear, Joe Mauer and Juan Rincon were measuring their sideburns, Torii Hunter was trying valiantly to teach Terry Tiffee one of his cool handshakes, Kyle Lohse sat in a corner and put stick pins in his Batgirl voodoo doll, and Shannon Stewart performed step 81 in his pregame regimen. Yes, all was normal and happy, until a loud gasp came from Lew Ford, who was sitting at his locker surfing the internet.
"Hey!" he shouted. "Guys! Guys!"
Now, usually, no one pays any attention to Lew, especially when he is near a computer, but this time, there was something different in his voice, something which told his teammates that he had something to tell them that in no way involved his stop-action analysis of the Star Wars Episode III trailers. Heads turned.
"What is it, Lew?" asked Matt LeCroy, stopped in mid electric boogalo.
"Look!" he said, pointing to his computer screen. "White smoke!"
A great gasp was heard in the air, as if it came from the clubhouse itself.
"You're kidding!" said Luis Rivas.
"It can't be!" said Michael Cuddyer.
One by one, the Twins players drifted over to Lew's computer. Little Nicky Punto walked into the clubhouse and noticed the scene.
"What is it?" he said. "Did Lew Photoshop Queen Amidala's head on a naked body again?"
"No!" Stewie responded, wide-eyed. "Lew-Lew says the conclave is over!"
Little Nicky gasped. "You mean…"
"There's a POPE!" everyone shouted. In the next moment Matt LeCroy swooped Little Nicky Punto in his arms and began throwing him up and down in celebration, Little Nicky squealing the whole time. Pretty soon, it was time for the game to start, and so the players filed out to the dugout, all abuzz with excitement.
"I can't believe it only took two days," said Jason Bartlett. "That's one of the shortest conclaves in 100 years!"
"I knew they could do it," said Ford. "I mean, what are they? The Vatican or the Vati-can't?"
The game had started by this point, and Shannon Stewart led off with a single, not that anyone in the clubhouse noticed. "I suppose Cardinal Ratzinger was the natural choice," continued Lew. "I see him really as a transition pope—"
"Oh, wait Lew," said Bartlett. "I'm up to bat. Hold that thought."
"Oh, okay." Lew held the thought and pretty soon Bartlett was back in the dugout after having grounded into a double play.
"Sorry, what you were saying?"
"Oh, just that I think they picked a conservative so they could spend some time thinking about where they wanted the church to go. No radical moves yet, you know?"
And so, the conversation continued. On the field, the players found themselves pensive—though it didn't much matter since Radke was pitching so well no one had to work too hard. In the dugout, though, talk was all Pope all the time. In the second inning, the conversation turned to the papal conclave and its history, then in the third, the players began to talk about the selection of this pope in particular.
"What I don't get," said Little Nicky Punto, "is why the name Benedict."
"Well, you know," said Kyle Lohse, "Benedict VIII was a great reformer. He was interested in keeping clerics celibate and fought against simony."
"Simo-what?" asked Cuddy.
"Oh, you!" Lohse laughed. "It's the selling of church offices! Hey, what's going on in the game?"
"Um," said Cuddy, "I think the bases are loaded with one out. Oh, and I'm up. Don't say anything interesting while I'm gone." Picking a bat at random out of the rack, Cuddy strode off to the field.
"I still don't get it," said Punto. "Why would Ratzinger choose a reformer's name when he's a renowned hardliner?"
"Well," said Lohse… "Oh, hey Cuddy! Welcome back. too bad about that strikeout. Anyway, he also could have been shouting-out to St. Benedict, the founder of Christian monasticism. St. Benedict was known as the patron and protector of Europe. Perhaps the new pope sees himself as the new savior of Europe."
"Screw that," muttered Carlos Silva.
"What?"
"Oh, nothing," Silva said, going back to his rehab.
"Oh, I gotta bat," said Punto. "I'll be right back."
Well, Little Nicky Punto came promptly back in the dugout, as did the three runners he stranded on base. And over the course of the Twins' at-bats, as conversation progressed from the players favorite popes (Most popular choice—Gregory VII who totally excommunicated the Holy Roman Emporer after the H.R.E. got up in his grill.) to their favorite Benedicts over time (Cuddy was partial to Benedict XIII, who cracked down mightily on excess in ecclesiastic dress, while Joe Mauer was fond of the Avignon styling of Benedict XII.) to great moments in Papal Decree, batters found themselves heading in and out of the dugout with alarming rapidity, not to mention baserunners.
It wasn't until the ninth, when Brad Radke—after having pitched eight strong innings but still finding himself behind three runs—interrupted a heated conversation between LeCroy and Stewie over The Babylonian Captivity went storming to the front of the dugout and stamping his foot.
"Hey," he said. "HEY!"
"What?" Everyone turned to look.
"CAN YOU GUYS STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BLASTED POPE AND START HITTING THE BLEEPIN' BLARGIN' BALL?"
One by one, the Twins players looked at each other and were ashamed.
"Oh, man, we're sorry."
"Totally!"
"We can talk about the Pope after the game!"
But by then, it was too late. The ninth inning is awfully late to realize you've been playing like Pope Boniface (III not V), and while the Twins were able to squeeze out one run, it wasn't enough. Radke was saddled with the loss, the Bitch Sox got a two game sweep, and the Twins' bats were in need of some serious papal forgiveness. You cannot blame Brad Radke, if, after the game he was heard to say, "May you reign a long time, Pope Benedict XVI, at least until after I retire."
Posted by Batgirl at April 20, 2005 12:00 PMI was waiting for a BG update to make the loss a little less painful.
I trust everyone has seen this POS article:
http://www.dailysouthtown.com/southtown/columns/ladewski/x19-lad1.htm
Given their excitement over the new pope, the loss is understandable. You have to cut them some slack, Batgirl! A new pope comes by only once in a generation or two. I couldn't concentrate all day, and I'm a Buddhist!!!!
-Brooks Rogers (I do voices)
Dearest Cardinals in the Vatican that should have taken until next Monday to appoint a new Pope,
As a student at the College of St. Benedict, today I am ashamed that our esteemed leader of the monastic community here and at St. John's has his name written all over the demise of our Twins today. I trust that next time a conclave comes around, you will make sure to do it on an off day?
Auf Weidersehen (as the new Pope would say),
Meghan
A work of genius. Batgirl, you are the bomb!
P.S. Go Mariners! (sorry)
Posted by: Mr. Jeremy Reeder at April 20, 2005 12:38 AM14 hits and a complete game by Radke. How can you lose that? Bad luck.
Posted by: gopher38 at April 20, 2005 01:25 AM"I knew they could do it," said Ford. "I mean, what are they? The Vatican or the Vati-can't?"
I love that...
BG- Fine work. You make losing so much less horrible, even if it is losing two in a row to the Bitchsox, earning us our first loosing streak of the year. Hopefully the God will call down to his new Pope and then Big Bene will bring the twins a little help with the bats. Radke absolutely amazed me today, if i were out there pitching that good, and the boys were Popin it up in the dugout and forgetting to hit the ball, i'd have lost it after 2 or 3 innings. I guess after 10 years or so of no run support, you just learn to live with the ass-bats. The man's got great self control.
Posted by: Tinger at April 20, 2005 02:47 AMOff topic:
Clear the bases is very fun, my best time is 1:41
Posted by: talldrinkowater at April 20, 2005 04:47 AMI went to bed before the game ended, and I had a dream that Terry Tiffee hit a three-run homer to win the game. I am sad that it was not true.
BTW, I agree with Lew's take that the choice of Ratzinger was just to buy time until they can figure out what to do next with the church.
Posted by: CarrieIC at April 20, 2005 06:47 AMThe guy's 78. They're going to have to go through the whole conclave thing all over again in few years, and what does that mean for us? Another lost game somewhere in the not-so-distant future. Hopefully Brad will have that night off. Brad deserves so much better than what he's been getting. Anyway, thanks for the morning entertainment, Batgirl.
Posted by: Pepper at April 20, 2005 07:10 AMOne small consolation from last night's game: Everett doesn't own us anymore. Three strike-outs and a fly-out. Maybe he sold the mortgage to El Duque.
Posted by: Pepper at April 20, 2005 07:34 AMI racked my brain trying to figure out why we weren't getting any runs last night.
Thanks for clearing it up for us Batgirl.
Looking forward to the Royals tonight, hopefully those runs will catch up with us.
Posted by: HooliganKat at April 20, 2005 07:59 AMAh, this explains the loss last night. I was a bit worried. I didn't realize a Pope could affect our boys so much. Very amusing, Batgirl!
A confiscated letter found in the Twins clubhouse late last night:
Dear Twins Hitters,
I still love you guys. You're great guys and I appreciate your effort. I always have. I just don't like what you're doing right now. It hurts me a lot. I am writing this to hope we can work out our differences.
I don't expect you to be perfect. I know you'll make mistakes. I know you'll make errors. I know you'll strike out. I know you'll ground out. But, for goodness sake, quit doing it all the time when the game's on the line! That just really hurts me a lot.
I really don't appreciate how you don't score runs for me. You never have. Sometimes I wonder if you really love me. I gave up so much to keep us togeher. Please, tell me if you don't feel the same, so I don't have to go through this heartache every single time I walk out to the mound.
Hugs&Kisses,
Bradke
When did Kyle become so all knowing about the Catholic church???
Posted by: Wonder Woman at April 20, 2005 08:01 AMHe spends alot of time there trying to exocommunicate Lyle.
Posted by: Saajak at April 20, 2005 08:14 AM"14 hits and a complete game by Radke. How can you lose that? Bad luck."
I'd call it bad karma, but with all the Catholics in the audience I'll pass on saying that.
But good to know that Radke fulfilled my vision of giving up a dinger.
In different news, you can see how goofy Chicago can be (and keeping with the Catholic theme):
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/04/20/mary.underpass.ap/index.html?section=cnn_latest
Posted by: Aaron at April 20, 2005 08:42 AMSoooo.. as true to tradition, I try to go to all the twins/ bitchsox games possible at bitchullar field. Last night was no different. *sigh*... all i can say is.. At least I pissed a bunch of people off by wearing my "Sit Down, Bitch" t-shirt (and cheering FOR Torii Hunter)
Posted by: Liz at April 20, 2005 08:56 AMAfter watching a game where the Twins had 14 hits and ONE BLEEPIN' RUN, I felt for sure that not even a Bat-Girl game recap could cure what ailed me. Thankfully, I was wrong. (Although I'm still pissed.)
But seriously, how long must this continue before it's officially labeled "Sucking-Time '05"? It sure feels like last year's sucking-time. And none of us liked that.
Posted by: Andre at April 20, 2005 09:12 AM
I don't think the bats are the problem. I mean, most days, 14 hits will result in a run or three. Somehow the planets were out of alignment just enough that all the hits came at all the wrong times. What can you do?
And let's not forget Birthday-Boy Mauer's brilliant play at home plate, and Jacque's beautiful, beautiful rolling catch.
But perhaps I'm just feeling optimistic because I have damn good seats for tonight's Santana start...
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at April 20, 2005 09:30 AM
Dear BatGirl,
As a long ago altar boy and an alum of a Benedictine institution (very near Meghan's current matriculation location) I am compelled to request a change to "Benedict XVI" in Bradke's last quote - unless his lack of Papal awareness was intentional.
Ecclesiastically yours,
TR
Is that "excommunicate" or "exorcise" Lyle?
"The power of Camilo compels you!"
"The power of Camilo compels you!"
Lew Ford called me this morning to ask if Latin America was pissed because they'd been dissed again. I told him the Pope is irrelevant when you have Johann.
Posted by: Tony Boliva at April 20, 2005 10:13 AMSince Lyle is clearly an evil being - I'll say exorcise
Yes - no religious bashing please =)
All you need is LOVE =)
Posted by: Wonder Woman at April 20, 2005 10:18 AMBatgirl, once again you are brillant. If only the Twins could hit as well as you write. I'll be watching from my seat in section 113 tonight. Let's hope for a better outcome because I don't want to have an apoplectic fit in public.
Posted by: Attyfan at April 20, 2005 10:29 AMExorcise vs. Exocommunicate
I agree exorcise would have been more appropriate in that instance but I would hope Kyle will do whatever he needs to get rid of Lyle, including excommunication.
Posted by: Saajak at April 20, 2005 10:40 AMDearest Mr. Andre,
Three games does not a sucking-time make. Worry not, for the Royals are in town.
Love,
BG
Ukrainian slugger Paul Konerko gave it up for Chicago's large Eastern Orthodox congregation with that home run last night. "Take that, pope-loving heretics!" he scolded the Twins. "That's for the Great Schism of 1054!"
Posted by: Silo at April 20, 2005 11:19 AMLeave it to Batgirl to make me feel better not only about the Twins loss, but the new Pope as well.
Personal note, my childhood parish was St. Benedict's, so in keeping with our family nickname for it, I can't help thinking of this pope as Pope Benny. It's easier than remembering all those roman numerals.
And I could be wrong, but I think there were actually two saints named Benedict. Not that I remember the difference between the two.
Posted by: Redbird at April 20, 2005 11:27 AMBG - thanks for clarifying why the boys were so distracted last night. Rumor I heard from the clubhouse . . . Mulholland was wondering why all the fuss over Pope Ben-16's age.
Do you think maybe Ullger will remember to tell the boys it's okay to swing on the first pitch for the next series?
Or maybe I need to fly to KC, punch Scottie in the face and tell the boys myself???
Scottie bad.
Scottie no.
Scottie learn how to do your fing job!!!!
Christ.
Sorry God. Yay new German Pope!
Posted by: Brienne at April 20, 2005 11:38 AMsorry...i meant fly to Mpls and punch Scottie in the face.
my bad.
Posted by: Brienne at April 20, 2005 11:43 AMClosed circuit to hegs...
Hey, little bro, get back to work
Jerry's #3
Posted by: heraldguy at April 20, 2005 11:56 AMDear Twins Goddess,
You got the damn good seats again tonight?
Good for you!!
Have fun!!
bubblemint
Posted by: bubblemint at April 20, 2005 12:18 PMCheck out Eric Neel givin' Batgirl some props at: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/050420&num=0
Scroll down to 6, in his Power Rankings.
Posted by: JohnG at April 20, 2005 12:20 PMNice props from Mr. Neel, but since when are the Twins in the AL West? :P
Posted by: infield at April 20, 2005 12:27 PM1) I was kind of surprised to see the score this morning and remember it was only 3-1. It could have been a lot worse. (Of course, it also could have been 11-3 Twins, but that's a different story.)
2) Johan vs. Royals should have us feeling better in no time. (Why don't we have a cute nickname for KC, by the way?)
3) My best time is a pathetic 2:01. And it's just plain embarrassing when you mix up Sooz and Bert.
Silo makes me laugh...
'Ukrainian slugger Paul Konerko gave it up for Chicago's large Eastern Orthodox congregation with that home run last night. "Take that, pope-loving heretics!" he scolded the Twins. "That's for the Great Schism of 1054!"'
Posted by: Say Rah! at April 20, 2005 01:24 PMSilo makes me laugh too!
Posted by: Goober at April 20, 2005 02:31 PM[THIS COMMENT IS REFERRING TO ONE OF THE MYRIAD SOX FANS TROLLING COMMENTS BG HAS DELETED TODAY, NOT TO MENTION DISGUSTING E-MAILS. ALL VERY CLASSY AND IS CERTAINLY HELPING REINFORCE BG'S IMAGE OF THE TEAM. FORTUNATELY WE HAVE SOME LOVELY SOX FANS ON HERE. -MGMT}
Calm down Big Nick, it's only April! If you're not careful, you're going to wear yourself out and won't have the strength to make a good run late in the season, much like your squad the past three years.
Also, it seems like you may have been bitching about the term we light-heartedly use to describe your team. Interesting.
Posted by: 87&91 at April 20, 2005 02:37 PMI was hoping Gene Larkin would get elected Pope. Pope Clutchius I
Posted by: JP at April 20, 2005 02:51 PMThis is my first visit to the site, courtesy of Eric Neel at ESPN.com. Thanks for some insight into last night's situation. I was sure confused by the way they were playing, but I guess maybe I would have understood better if I was Catholic. At any rate, thanks for a good laugh on a boring Wednesday in Bismarck.
Posted by: ND Twins Fan at April 20, 2005 03:43 PMWhat's the Sox' magic number now? Are we mathmatically eliminated yet? Oh yeah, it's only 14 games into the season, and we're 8-6. Could be a lot worse - look at the Yankees. The Sox are going to fall back and the Twins are going to win the division with margin for error, barring major injuries. Come back in a few months Sox fans. I'm personally looking more for progress at this time, and I'm encouraged rather than worried about a 14 hit night. Encouraging news on Mauer too, good outing by Radke, and Tiffee could be contributing at the end of the season.
Posted by: gopher38 at April 20, 2005 03:55 PMWe do not encounter the Bitch Sox again until August, correct? Well past the All-Star break.
Surely all the ass-bats will have been broken by then.
Posted by: qjw at April 20, 2005 04:11 PMNew article at USA Today.com talking about how the AL Central is the interesting division to watch. Puts the Twins' edge on the shoulders of VP Nathan. And I think the writer has a man-crush on Torii and his gorgeous smile.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/bbw/columnist/white/2005-04-20-leading-off_x.htm
Posted by: Paul at April 20, 2005 04:12 PMIt's too bad that you have to write about something incredibly irrelevant to overcome your fears of the new look white sox. It is also a shame to see your too good twins actually lose like they should. It is now time to pass the torch. I don't know how the twins have succeeded in winning the pennant 3 years in a row with that horrible roster you call a team, but 14 games into the season, the sun is shinning beautifully in Chicago. It is now time for me to see my wonderful white sox go play against the even worse tigers. See you in august when we sweep you again.
Posted by: Scott at April 20, 2005 04:15 PMBG - you do indeed deserve a seat at the glory table and you are indeed a valuable resource. I know you are more into the sass and less into the stats - but I have to throw this out there.
The Twins are #1 ... in my heart ... and in all of baseball with 17 GIDPs (rally-killing, double plays). 6 GIDPs in the last two days, ugh!
Is Carlos the Jackel pitching BP as part of his rehab? If so, make him stop.
Posted by: Hegs at April 20, 2005 04:17 PMDear readers,
I've been deleting most of these, but I didn't delete that last one because I enjoyed it so much.
Sincerely,
BG
And Dear Jeff,
Yes. We did lose. We played like crap in fact!
Cheerily yours,
BG
Eeek! As much as I loved Neel's article, it never occurred to me that it might invite some bitches to visit our beloved site and harrass dear Batgirl.
Posted by: Say Rah! at April 20, 2005 04:19 PMI also discovered this site from Eric Neel at ESPN.com. Boring day at work and I discovered my new favorite Twins site!! Thanks BG!! Your site is great!!
Any chance you'll create a bulletin board? That would be cool. Loved Oh Five!
Just emailed your site to my Twins fanatic friend in W.Virgina where he is being deprived from his Twinkies.
Posted by: Thart at April 20, 2005 04:25 PMIf any of our amiable White Sox fans are still here, perhaps you can answer a question I have. It seems as though the White Sox players and fans alike would prefer to think that they have continually lost to an inferior team, rather than entertain the slightest possibility that the Twins might actually be a good team. Personally, if I am going to lose, I would rather think I lost to a good team than to a bad one. But year after year they seem to prefer to cling to the belief that the Twins stink. Wouldn't that reflect badly on your own team if you can't beat such an inferior one? (Just in case I am wording this badly please let me assure you this is not some misguided attempt at a taunt, as I am well aware we are not currently in a position to taunt. I am really curious about this.)
Smitty
Posted by: Word Smith at April 20, 2005 04:31 PMIn keeping with the notion that everyone in baseball has a nickname, I fully expect our Twins to do their next round of shooting the papal bull in code. But Batgirl is wise enough, I'm sure, to understand that the boys will be talking about Pope Benedict when they use the code name "Eggs."
Posted by: RonDavis at April 20, 2005 04:33 PMDear Mr. Davis,
BG would then prefer a Pope Florentine.
Yours in breakfast,
BG
They only played two games in Chicago. I guess you can't expect a Bitch Sox fan to know how to count.
Posted by: Andre at April 20, 2005 04:40 PMFor the sake of argument, why would Bitch Sox fans want to set themselves up for such great disapointment again? After all, we're talking about a club that in the past 86 years has intentionally lost the World Series at least half the times they've played in it!
Posted by: 87&91 at April 20, 2005 04:49 PMSmitty,
We Chicago fans are like that by nature.
Ttoorrii Hunter could come to town, go 6 for 6 with 9 RBI against us, and he'd still suck.
Brett Favre could come to town, throw for 450 yards with 6 TD passes against da Bears, and he'd still suck.
Lots of us can't give props when they're due. I'm not that guy.
But still, I swell with Bitch Sox Pride today,
Ilk
Posted by: Ilk at April 20, 2005 04:57 PMFrom Jim Souhan's column in today's Strib...
"Only the White Sox can proudly proclaim, 'We've thrown a World Series since we've won one.'"
Posted by: heraldguy at April 20, 2005 04:57 PMDeservedly, Ilk! [ Just don't get too used to it up there :-) ]
Thanks,
Smitty
Look at the bitter little Bitchsox fans. Point even. "Oh, aren't you so cute?! Look at you! All mister, itty-bitty, bitter buns! Just precious you are! C'mon over here so I can give you a great big huggy-wuggy, you so adorable wittle Sox-y wox-y fans!"
Really, I think they're just sad because Chicago writer suck so bad. That article from the Daily Southtown was just so, so....bad. Let me sum it up for those who didn't read it. 1) The author thinks we play dirty. I disagree. Unless you're talking about extracurricular mud wrestlin' and, well, I'd pay a lot of money to see Joe Mauer in a g-string covered in mud, but that's just me. 2) He thinks the Metrodome sucks. Well, duh! Of course the freakin' Metrodome sucks. No big freakin' revelation there. 3)He thinks it's a bad thing that our players don't have any name recognition. I just don't get this argument at all. So, we can't have a good baseball team unless our roster is filled with people this guy has heard of? Please. 4)He doesn't think the Twins have any fans. Um, I think that this blog is kinda proof to the contrary, don't you? 5)He had the gall to pick on Santana. Apparently a negative ERA wouldn't even be good enough for this guy. I think he's just itching for a nice bag of flaming dog poop on his doorstep there. 6) I get the feeling he just doesn't like Hunter and Jones. He calls them "babies" as a matter of fact. What is this third grade? I can come up with better insults than that in my sleep. If you're going to insult us, at least have the common courtesy to come up with something good. Lastly, he takes a stab at Gardy. That's just hitting below the belt and should be punished. I propose TWO bags of flaming dog poop be quickly whisked away to his doorstep. No, make it three.
Love,
Captina
Not only will our ass-bats be broken by mid-August, the Bitch Sox' spirit will be as well.
Sorry, not sure how to punctuate that properly. But I CAN count, and it was 2 of 2. And no begrudging Ilk today's swelling.
There is a thread on the Twins message board on ESPN site that incudes a link to this one, and a snarky comment about someone having too much time on her hands. It is not my place to make with the high dudgeon on Batgirl's behalf -- that is solely her privilege -- but have any of you ever looked at the ESPN message boards? One would never know that baseball is a sport much appreciated by thinkers.
Posted by: qjw at April 20, 2005 05:17 PMCongrats on making your way onto ESPN's Page 2. You're destined for stardom.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/050420&num=0
Posted by: The Ferret at April 20, 2005 05:19 PMBG,
The reasons for all the snarky comments from me and my fellow Bi-- , I mean, White Sox fans are at least threefold:
1)Eric Neel (but you knew that)
B)You've been posted on Soxtalk.com -- and my fellow posters don't quite appreciate your unique take on baseball
iii)We, as a rule, like to talk more smack than Twins fans, and, let's face it, we haven't been able to do so in the last few years.
Let's have fun and this Minneapolis-based B-- (damn, I almost did it again) White Sox fan will see all of you under the Teflon in August, God willing and the Creek don't rise!
In the meantime, if any of you wish to cross swords with Sox fans, there's a Visitors' Clubhouse at the aforementioned message board. I know you all would be welcomed with open arms. Or not.
mjm
Posted by: mjm at April 20, 2005 05:20 PMYou're right....I miscounted. I stand corrected. Doesn't change that they lost.
Posted by: Jeff at April 20, 2005 05:26 PMI laughed really hard when Silva said, "Screw that."
Posted by: Haplo at April 20, 2005 05:34 PMHas BG seen her latest plug on the espn.com site. Must be an honor to be considered the "Twins' greatest resource". Congrats BG.
Posted by: OmahaTwinsFan at April 20, 2005 05:39 PMThere's no point in getting into a big back-and-forth with fans of other teams. It's not like either group is going to change the other group's mind. You might as well watch Ann Coulter debate Al Franken ... gee, I wonder if they'll work out their differences before they're done.
This was best summed up by one of my all-time favorite Onion columns, titled "The sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area." All the taunts and zingers are the same every time one of these debates starts. Just plug in different team names. Our pal from the Daily Southtown followed the script to a T. It was almost comical. I guess some people get off on this kind of stuff, but really, what's the point?
Posted by: Andre at April 20, 2005 06:00 PMAh, We've got Vati-cans and vati-can'ts, Mexi-cans and Mexican'ts...
Seriously, I went to see that movie with some friends of mine--they actually started laughing in the theater. They thought it was that bad.
I'll watch any movie that has enough explosions and gun-fights, personally. And was "Once upon a time in Mexico" really all that much worse than "Tombstone?" They're basically the same movie...
Except for that one unbelievably bad line: Are you a Mexi-Can, or a Mexi-can't? Priceless. That alone makes the movie worth watching...That and Willem Dafoe playing the leader of a Mexican Mafia. Also priceless.
Posted by: MikeQ at April 20, 2005 07:43 PMspeaking of white smoke, jay leno had a good one last night. he said there was talk in new york that the yanks might soon be voting for a new manager. workers were seen putting a smoke stack chimney on top of yankee stadium.
BG you sure know how to cushion the blow from a couple of really sucky games. thanks.
Posted by: dorkyhouse at April 20, 2005 08:25 PMMikeQ,
Did you like the fake arm trick? And the "Cleavage Inspection Agency" tshirt? LOVED that movie!
D-L
Posted by: Donnalove at April 20, 2005 10:15 PMTerry Tiffee should be a batgirl
Posted by: Ron Mexico at April 21, 2005 09:12 AM"Anyway, he also could have been shouting-out to St. Benedict, the founder of Christian monasticism."
Not to nitpick historical trivia, but St. Anthony founded Christian Monasticism. St. Benedict was responsible for poularizing it in the west.
Anyway, that was really funny.
Yup. I forgot the fake arm. That was actually very funny, really good.
I should watch that movie again. As I remember, the plot was impossible to follow. But, as I said, there were, in no particular order: Explosions, vehicle chases, gunfights, gunfights in the streets, absurd gunfights in churches, a guitar gun, a guitar bomb, several conspiracies, wads of cash flying around, various heroes (El Mariachi, ect.), various villains, a hot villain, A guy who was neither hero nor villain but was still Johnny Depp, the day of the dead, the fake arm, and...wait for it...
Willem Dafoe playing the leader of the Mexican Mafia.
Definately worth another look. It's no wonder that I can't remember the plot.
Posted by: MikeQ at April 21, 2005 05:41 PM