Baltimore at Twins. Twins 5, Baltimore 1
My fellow Americans, if you have had, for some reason, any doubt... If you have wavered in anyway... If you have in the past said, "George W. Bush, he has the strength of his convictions," or "John Kerry, he really is going to do something about health care," or "Ralph Nader, because he's so charismatic," or "Jean-Luc Picard, because he has leadership experience," I am sure you watched today's game and said, Never mind! Excuse me. Pardon me. I had some doubts there for a minute, I was dazzled by another candidate, but now I see that Johan K. Santana is clearly the best--the only--choice to lead us boldly into tomorrow. I stand in the streets and cry, Santana/Nathan '04!
Shout Out, Louise!
Santana struck out fourteen batters today. He struck out the final batter in the first through fifth innings. He struck out two batters in the seventh, and struck out the side in the eighth inning--on ten pitches. He hasn't allowed a run in the month of September, for 30 consecutive shut out innings, and leads the AL in strikeouts by almost forty. That's 40. And he pitches like a poem. Like a really dominant, kick-ass poem.
It was thrilling at the ballpark today. Exhilarating. The whole crowd was on its feet every time he got to two strikes on a batter, and yelling and jumping up and down when he inevitably got to three. By the late innings, the bullpen was applauding Santana. There were 30,000 stomping and screaming and acting utterly delirious with the wonder that is Supernatural.
Batgirl did a pre-game interview with Startribune.com (they were doing a feature on Santana-mania, and for some reason chose to talk to Batgirl) and they asked her, "Why do you think Johan-mania is sweeping the state?" Well, the Twins have never had Johan Santana before. In the past couple of decades, we've had great pitchers—Viola, Blyleven, Radke. We've had stars—Puckett, Winfield, Molitor. But Johan Santana is a superstar. He is a phenomenon. Our past Cy Young candidates have all been finesse pitchers, and there's something so Minnesotan about that; excuse me, I'm going to strike you out now, but I'm going to do it politely. Despite Johan's protestations, there is nothing polite about his pitching. He is utterly dominant. He outclasses everyone around him. He scares people. Suddenly we, the Minnesota Twins, have Pedro Martinez—except nice!
There was, apparently, another team at the Dome today. I guess it makes sense; I mean, somebody had to be there to have their collective ass kicked. I can't remember who it was; Tejada plays for them now, and so does that guy who has the erectile dysfunction problem. I think it's really great that he's been able to talk about it so publicly, especially for all the young boys who may grow up to have erectile problems of their own, and now they know it's something you can discuss quite publicly. Why just yesterday, Batgirl was at the game and there was an adorable tow-headed youngster in front of her. The gentleman next to Batgirl asked, "Rafael Palmeiro, isn't he in those Viagra commercials?" And the tow-headed lad turned around and said, helpfully, "Yes!"
The Twins batted, too, once in a while, though that was hardly necessary. Venezuelans were busting out all over, with Luis Rivas going yard in his first plate appearance (apparently, his big toenails have been holding him back this whole time) and Henry Blanco repeating the feat in the sixth. Michael Restovich put in a bid for honorary-Venezuelan status with a two-run dinger in the seventh.
Batgirl and the rest of the Victory '04 team were fairly disappointed to see Santana not come out in the ninth—after a guy strikes out the side in the eighth (did I mention that it was on ten pitches?) it would seem like he's got another inning or two in him. But it was appropriate that on Victory '04 rally day, our vice-presidential candidate should come on in the ninth to show his stuff. And appropriately, the game ended with a strikeout. Sit down, oh ye bitches. Sit down.
Posted by Batgirl at September 19, 2004 09:21 PMMany a times during that game today:
GOOSEBUMPS.
Santana is incredible. Just thinking about how dominant he is brings a little tear to my eye. If he doesn't win the Cy Young award...injustice!
Posted by: ForMorneau at September 19, 2004 09:59 PMI have it on good authority that Rivas's toes were tingling this afternoon. Tingling with long bombs and the sitting down of bitches. And also the rally had everyone tingling. it was awesome.
Posted by: LunchBox at September 19, 2004 11:54 PMBat-Girl,
Are those the only pictures you have? Because I recall Bat-Dad taking many, many more. Not all of them, of course, need to be posted here, but I'd like to see some of the other ones.
Gratefully,
Donnalove
I hate to throw a bucket of cold water onto a raging fire, but I think I may have uncovered a small glitch in the Santana / Nathan '04 election bid. I don't want the DNC/RNC to get wind of this so I'm putting it in code.
Antana-Sey, asn't-wey orn-bey in-ey e-they USA-ey. E-hey an't-cey e-bay esident-pray.
OK, my batgirl-code is a little rusty, but you should get the gist. I think we'll be OK though, our competition is all befuddled with Swift Boat and Air National Guard crappola. We'll just say he's from the southern US, like Owattona or something.
Posted by: Me at September 20, 2004 07:59 AMWell, technically, he is also ineligible because he is not yet 35 years of age.
Details, details...
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at September 20, 2004 09:29 AMHow happy was I to come home from a road trip, fire up bat-girl.com, and learn that my Twins and my chosen presidential candidate had dominated the Orioles? I attended the game on Saturday before leaving town. No amount of alcohol will ever erase from my memory the horrible shelling of Radke and the conga line of incompetants who followed him. The horror...
Posted by: Freg Nergstrom at September 20, 2004 09:55 AMI believe that the Constitution waives the age restriction if you have 3 good "out" pitches. It is known as the Grover Cleveland (Alexander) exemption.
Posted by: Me at September 20, 2004 10:01 AMI just started reading you recently and have greatly enjoyed it. I thought it was hilarious to call the White Sox the Bitch Sox. Now I read that you call everyone one bitch? Very disappointing. I really don't care for "cheering" that is constant putting down of the opponent, whoever it is. Things go from bitch to much worse, way too fast.
Posted by: Brooklynegg at September 20, 2004 11:08 AMDear Mr/Ms Egg,
You have an excellent point, and Batgirl respects all opponents, except for the Bitch Sox and the Yankees, and Batgirl does not like needless heckling or demonizing of opponents unless they are truly demons (see above). "Sit down, bitch," is one of the official slogans of "Santana/Nathan '04" and refers to the ticket's propensity to strike out all batters in such a way as to deprive them of their sense of dignity.
Sincerely,
Batgirl
And, I think it is very telling that, although all the Batlings clearly understand and appreciate the slogan, "Sit Down, Bitch!", and may even use it out loud in the comfort of our own homes, we all also clearly understand that the Dome is intended to be a family-friendly envrironment.
All in attendance behaved in proper Minnesota-nice fashion at yesterday's game, and kindly kept the yelling of that particular slogan in our "internal" voices.
At least, I didn't hear any. It WAS kinda loud in there, though...
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at September 20, 2004 11:29 AMI didn't hear anything other than "Sit Down" myself, which I was thankful. I'm glad to know that the Batlings are all polite members of the House of Representatives of Baseball. Our Pres/VP duo-to-be do us proud.
If anyone has the pictures of our darling little guys all cleaned up and dresssed up pretty, I'd love to see them!
Beth
Posted by: Just Beth at September 20, 2004 12:48 PM"Batgirl respects all opponents, except for the Bitch Sox and the Yankees"
Hey! No respect? Isn't that a little much?
Respectfully yours,
Rodney Dangerfield's Trademark Rights
With all due respect, how can you cheer for the Yankees? Isn't that kind of like cheering for the Mafia?
Posted by: Iceberg at September 20, 2004 02:59 PMI just noticed on the Twins site that our boy Johan "Cy" Santana is AL Player of the Week. Way to go Johan!
(see http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/news/mlb_press_release.jsp?ymd=20040920&content_id=864911&vkey=pr_mlb&fext=.jsp)
Win Twins!
PS: Looking forward to clinching tonight against Buerle - coincidence, I think NOT
Posted by: talldrinkowater at September 20, 2004 04:38 PMRe: the 'Santanamania' video at the Strib site...
I love the guy with the Fydrich hair who says, "Ah, I've been campaigning for Santana's thing since... (looks around) July." That, and seeing Batgirl get more media exposure, just made my evening. Poetry and art, indeed.
Posted by: frightwig at September 21, 2004 01:53 AMIceberg:
No, cheering for the Yankees is not like cheering for the Mafia. Growing up, I had no idea about the World Series' that the Yankees had won. I had no idea who Don Larsen was, and I had no idea that they would win 4 of 5 World Series in the late century. I knew that Don Mattingly was the greatest first baseman who ever lived, I knew that Dave Winfield could throw out a runner at first on a hard single to right, and I knew that Mike Pagliarulo hit the most home runs of any player ever! (Of course, I was wrong on all accounts, but still, I knew it). To me, the Yankees were the best team ever, even though they had never ever won a World Series (to my knowledge).
Since that time, the Yankees won a few World Series and have imploded their farm system at an outrageous attempt to win every World Series. I know their time is coming again, and as a fan, will support them through their rebuilding year.
The team is not evil. The fans are not evil. The owner is not...well...not evil, just obsessed with being the best, at all costs. Understandably, he has more resources to work with than, say, Pohlad for example, but Pohlad doesn't even spend the revenue he gets from the luxury tax (from the Yankees) on players. Any one of you would accept an owner who cared more about winning.
Now, I realize that you don't like the Yankees. I don't mind that, it shows an underlying fear (for example, nobody hates the devil rays). But a lack of respect for them (and in particular, for their fans without discretion) gets to me. We are people too. If you cut us, do we not bleed?
Bottom line, there are fans and there are bandwagoner fans. Attendance at the dome is up 7,000 per game since 2000. That's a lot of 'new' fans. Hopefully, lots of children who know that Shannon Stewart is the greatest leadoff hitter who ever lived, that Torii Hunter could catch any ball hit from gap to gap within a 420 foot distance from home plate, and that Johan Santana struck out the most batters of any player ever! And someday, when Carl Q. Pohlad XXIII decides he wants to pay Kirby Pucket XXVI 400 billion dollars (and give up a couple of draft picks) to be a Twin, hopefully fans of the other 61 major league teams (including those pesky and numerous fans from the expansion Beijing Bling) wont attack those children, now adults (sort of) every day for being a fan of those ruthless and heartless Twins.
I say we settle it in the ALCS. :)
Cheerily and gregariously,
YankeeFan
I too was bummed that Santana wouldn't come in to finish things off, but I think that Gardy did a good job explaining his resoning to Clay in the postgame interview.
Afterall, weren't we just asking the previous Santana start why Gardy left him in that one extra inning?
We love Santana, yet we don't want him to get hurt. Thanks Gardy for not giving into us rabid fans and risk injury to The Supernatural One. It's good to see somebody out there is keeping his head about him in such a whirlwind time ;)
Posted by: Torhu at September 21, 2004 10:25 AM