Getting It Started In Here: 2

In the Strib, LaVelle runs down some of what he sees as the trade and signing options for the Twins. The list looks purely speculative (are the Phils really going to eat half of Jim Thome's salary to trade him to little ol' us?) and already out of date (The Cubbies picked up the option on Todd Walker last week.) but it's interesting. As for Guzie, I think he's kidding.

Batgirl's Book Club Reminder

BG has utterly failed to post a reminder about the upcoming book club. Since there's a lot to the book, and since she utterly failed, she's pushing the club back one week. Discussion of The Numbers Game begins Nov. 14. The book is, thus far, really interesting.

Tales from the Crypt, Vol 1

Goober is in the process of cleaning out boxes from his basement and has found this:

BatDad dimly recalls getting a very young Goober a team-signed Brooklyn Dodgers ball (Hey, BatDad, what about me?? Only boys get team-autographed baseballs? Huh?--BG), and it seems to be from the '56 team, though we're not absolutely certain. The ball is inscribed "To Steve." The signatures: Sandy Amoros, Duke Snider, Pee Wee Reese, Carl Furillo, Rube Walker, Don Bessent, Walt Alston, Ransom Jackson, Gino Cimoli, Ken Lehman, Don Newcombe, Sal Maglie, Ralph Branca, Don Drysdale, Johnny Podres, Roy Campanella, Carl Erskine, Chico Fernandez, Ed Roebuck, Gil Hodges, Jim Gilliam, Roger Craig, Sandy Koufax, Charles Neal, and someone with a completely illegible signature.

Notably absent: Mr. Jackie Robinson. It's like Jackie doesn't care whether or not little Goober Jr. goes to college. Or else he didn't like Steve very much.

Thoughts? Can anyone help us on the year and the value?

Free To Be Paul Konerko or Shigetoshi Hasegawai

Let's get it started, let's get it started in here. Here is a list of potential free agents from ESPN.com. Take your pick. BG will start making calls.

Wallace Stevens and Keats in a Baseball Column? Sign BG Up.

Pulled from the comments. This, from the Chicago Tribune deserves to be read. Yes, it celebrates the Sox victory, but it also lovingly describes the glory of baseball.

"Baseball is played in the summer but ends in the autumn, when the light starts to fail and kids are called inside early, taken reluctantly from their games in vacant lots and dead-end streets. The moments are precious because they perish. The joy is special because it's temporary. 'Death is the mother of beauty,' wrote Wallace Stevens. What makes today so amazing--the first full day after the Sox victory--is that it is unique in the history of the world. And will remain so. Cherish it, because it is moving steadily out of your reach."

EDIT And here, thanks to BatBandwagoner, is the NYTimes article from the game Kirby Puckett singlehandedly won for us in the '91 World Series, another gorgeous piece of baseball writing.

NOTHING was happening, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing but increasing tension. The zeros on the scoreboard last night in the Metrodome were dropping inning after inning after inning, as if a row of hens were working overtime. It appeared that the best and concluding moments of this baseball season -- maybe the best of any baseball season -- might last forever.

This was the seventh game of the World Series, and, after three, four, five, six, seven innings, nobody could score. People tried: The Minnesota Twins got a runner to third in the third inning; the Atlanta Braves did likewise in the fifth. But nothing happened. The pitchers, Jack Morris of the Twins and John Smoltz of the Braves, were matching sets of excellence, bookends of bravado.

It was preposterous. It couldn't get more dramatic. It did.

In the eighth, both teams loaded the bases with one out, but the Twins turned a double play to end the Braves' threat. In the bottom of the inning, the Braves did precisely the same thing to the Twins, behind Mike Stanton, who had replaced Smoltz.

It went into the ninth inning, 0-0. That is, 16 zeros. Nothing had happened, and it just kept on happening. And into the 10th: zero, of course, to zero. The longest Game 7 with no score in the history of the World Series.

And there it ended. Dan Gladden hit a broken-bat double, and there was a sacrifice bunt and two intentional walks, and then with the bases loaded and a pulled-in outfield, Gene Larkin, a seldom-used infielder, stepped up to pinch-hit. He was facing Alejandro Pena, now on the mound for the Braves. The noisy home crowd of 55,000 was on its feet and creating a snowstorm by waving its white homer hankies. And Larkin responded. He looped a fly ball over the outstretched glove of left fielder Brian Hunter, for a single to score the lone run of the game.

Suddenly it was over. Suddenly the Twins had won. But the Braves did not lose. They just didn't win the World Series, is all.

Sometimes the gods are just. Sometimes even they, taking time from their flutes and lyres and various dalliances, will determine that we, too, down below, could use a bit more pleasure, especially in these times of gloomy national recession and despairing world affairs and the football season. And so they, along with Kirby Puckett, in the guise of a mere mortal, conspired to give us one more game of baseball.

Not just any game, of course, but a Seventh Game of the World Series. And not just any World Series, either. But one that has gone from the dramatic to the melodramatic, from suspenseful theater to the old Saturday afternoon serial thriller.

Four of the first six games between the Braves and the Twins had been decided by one run, and three had been determined only in the home half of the final inning, to break up a tie game -- one concluding in the ninth inning and one in the 12th, with plays at the plate, and, on Saturday night, in the 11th, with Puckett's game-ending home run.

But we needed this game, Game 7, and that's the simple truth. It was only fitting and proper. It was all so unlikely, all so upside-down, but this seems to restore the cosmic balance: Two teams that finished last in their divisions the year before win the pennants. Each team knowing in its heart that it cannot lose, that the fates have ordained that this is their season.

Each team understanding that it has come this far, that it has done it by coming from behind not only during the season, but in game after game, and thus overcoming all the odds fashioned by Las Vegas and Olympus.

Each team has had its improbable heroes: Mark Lemke, brought in for defensive purposes, hits a trio of triples, and is prominent in winning Games 3, 4 and 5; Scott Leius, who was only iffy on making the team in spring training, homers to win Game 2; and Jerry Willard, who had left baseball for a season a few years ago because he was going nowhere, is called in to pinch-hit and hits a sacrifice fly to win Game 4. And finally Larkin.

It just had to come down to the wire, to a photo finish.

The Twins went up two games to none, and then the Braves came back to take a 3-2 lead, and then the Twins tied it up, three games each.

The dream season would end on a dream: Game 7 of the World Series. "Every kid has dreamed about this," said Jack Morris on Saturday night. "When I was a kid, my brother and I used to play whiffle ball and I pretended that I was Bob Gibson and he was Mickey Mantle."

But since this is real life, we know that the gods can be cruel, and, using us for their sport, may turn dreams into nightmares.

Ask Charlie Liebrandt, who got knocked out of Game 1, and then in Game 6 was brought back in relief to start the home half of the 11th inning. He faced one batter, Mr. Puckett, and threw a total of four pitches. Two were balls and two were strikes, including the last, which ended up in the left center field bleachers.

After the game, a large group of reporters gathered around Charlie Liebrandt's locker. After a long period in the trainer's room and the shower, with most of his teammates gone, Liebrandt, lean, grim, a cup of beer in his hand, and his eyes looking only straight ahead, parted the crowd around his locker. "Nothing tonight, guys," he said to the newsy assemblage.

There was nothing tonight, guys.

Except, of course, for the memory, and the dream, and the nightmare.

And there was the tingling anticipation that all this set up: Game 7. It had to be. And better than anyone could have imagined.

As the scoreboard, in its way, had been reminding us: Oh, oh, oh yes.

VaVaVaVrooom?

From MLB.com:

The Minnesota Twins announced today that they have named Joe Vavra the club's hitting coach.

Vavra, 45, spent the last four seasons as the Twins' Minor League Field Coordinator. In that capacity, he was responsible for evaluating minor league players and staff, coordinating and participating in on-field instruction, developing organization policies throughout the system and setting up and overseeing the daily workout schedule during spring training, the regular season and the instructional league. The Twins were named Organization of the Year by Baseball America in two (2002 and 2004) of his four seasons.

EDIT Torii, I love you, you are the purest specimen of manliness ever to walk the earth, but you're beginning to sound like Dougie (Furby #1.)

Things Are Going To Be a Little Different Around Here Now

Caption Contest.
Thanks to Bloody P. for the photo.

Pax Bitchsoxius

Congratulations to the 2005 World Series Champion Chicago Bitch Sox, who tonight were crowned the bitchiest in the whole wide world. They, in typically bitchy fashion, denied the poor Houston fans the right to even experience a modicum of World Series joy. The pitchers didn't even let them score tonight, which was just mean.

Now, get rid of Konerko and a few of the funny-looking guys in the offseason, 'kay?

Gee, Maybe It Will Be Sheff

Rumors are flying that the Yanks and the Red Sox are very interested in the services of Mr. Torii K. Hunter. While BG can fathom a couple Red Sox trades, who on earth do the Yankees think they're going to give to us for Torii? They say Cano is off-limits (and isn't he craptastic defensively anyway?) and the rest of their roster makes, minimum, 80 mil a year.

EDIT: And in other news, Dougie really needs to learn that silence is golden. I can't imagine who he and AJ ever have a conversation, doesn't one of them have to be not talking at any given time?

FURTHER EDIT: BG found this comment from Frightwig to be stunning in its insight:

I imagine Doug and A.J. as a pair of Furbies, contentedly babbling away at each other. Or maybe Dougie does most of the talking, while A.J. punctuates his thoughts with the occasional "BOO-YAA!" and "Fuck, yeah!"

Discuss.

BatMail

From a Friend of Batgirl's, North Side of Chicago:

Joe Crede is kinda hot. But someone ought to tell him that tucking your pants into your socks makes your butt look big.

Discuss.

BG Gone Soft

I don't know, you guys. Batgirl's lost her fire. She keeps calling the Bitch Sox the "White Sox" as if that's their name or something. And while she's not rooting for either team, for once she finds herself in the strange position of not actively rooting against the Sox with every fiber of her being.

Something's deeply wrong here. Maybe it's the bird flu talking. Maybe it's that we have no bigger contigent of other-team fans here than Sox fans. Maybe it's that once one team's in the postseason and yours isn't, there's not much point in continuing the rivalry that year. Maybe it's once you get to the World Series, you deserve to lose the "Bitch" from your name for seven days in October. (Note: this doesn't hold for the Yankees, because getting to the Series is merely what they're expected to do. No one honors the Borg for assmilating people so well. It's only when they get individual consciousnesses and get knocked out of the first round of the assimilation playoffs that you start paying attention.) Maybe it's that this group of guys is quite a bit different than the Bitch Sox of old; other than Buerhle (Hate!), none of them have done any actual bitching. Jermaine Dye doesn't bitch, nor does that little guy that steals all the bases, nor the fat funny-looking reliever. They just shut up and play baseball. Or don't shut up and play baseball, in AJ's case.

The point is, whatever's wrong with Batgirl: once 2006 starts, she'll go back to hating them with a white hot passion just on principle. (Except you AJ. And Jermaine Dye. And the funny-looking guy.) I promise. For now, though, let's just shut up and play.

(Except for Buerhle. Bitch.)

America's Sweetheart?

Every postseason, a national hero is born--someone whose character inspires us, teaches us something about ourselves, challenges us to be our best selves. Judging by the media coverage the last few days, that hero has already been annointed.

From MLB.com Pierzynski Catches Praise, Ire

From the Chicago Tribune Man in the Middle: Trouble Seems to Follow AK Pierzynski. But the Sox and their fans have grown to love him.

EDIT And from the Strib: Patrick Reusse: AJ Brings White Sox a Winning Edge

Still, there was something lost on the day Pierzynski departed, and it's a quality that has been in view through October -- all the way to tonight's opening game of the World Series.

"The Twins became too nice when they traded A.J.," Doug Mientkiewicz said. "We had an edge to the way we played with A.J. You could see it in the Twins this season. There was no edge to that team."

World Series of...Love?

BG has to admit she was rooting for the Cards...there'd be something pretty exciting about the World Series actually featuring the two best teams of the year. Anybody remember Mike Scott getting interviewed after getting the NLCS MVP trophy when the Stros lost that series against the Mets? He should have gotten the trophy for sad.

Molitor declines Twins job

"I spent a lot of time thinking about it," Molitor, 49, told the Star Tribune for a report in its Tuesday editions. "I decided to allow myself more flexibility in my personal time with my family and other issues. I took a lot of time and went back and forth, trying to go through the schedule and try to make it work. Then I started thinking about things I wanted to get done."

Read more at ESPN: http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2194604

Light Blogging Ahead

Batgirl will be gone for a few days seeking treatment for an acute case of post-season depression. Goober will be posting any interesting tidbits while BG is gone, and perhaps asking people for their opinions on various baby names.

Meanwhile, Batgirl would like to ask: Say the players on the Twins 2005 40-man roster played the rest of the Vikings games this football season. Would their record be better, worse, or the same than if the current Vikings roster played those games?

Bitch Sox Triumphant!

Congratulations to the Chicago White Sox and especially all the nice White Sox fans that frequent this site for their first pennant in almost five decades. Congratulations, too, to Batgirl's bad boy boyfriend AJ for being involved in three bad calls (one of them reversed) and for generally showing the San Francisco Giants where they can stuff it.

SidBits

BG's close personal friend Sid Hartman has a few choice tidbits in his column today. BG can't actually find the link in the "improved" Strib, but here are said tidbits:

Paul Molitor will replace Al Newman on the Twins coaching staff if negotiations for a contract can be worked out. Scott Ullger would then become the third base coach and Molitor would become the hitting coach...My good friend Ron Simon represents Molitor and can be a very difficult negotiator...Visiting with Pohlad recently I got the impression he might raise the salary budget some, but only if the right players were available to help the team score more runs. There's no doubt Pohlad would like one more World Series crown....Ryan said that there's a possibility Matt LeCroy, who was released, could be back with the Twins depending on what players are added to the roster.

Monkey See Monkey Do

It seems our AJ was involved in a controversial play once again, but really, what's a little catcher's interference among friends? BG did not see the game and missed these "bad calls." How bad were they?

From the Strib: Bad Calls, Bad Play Hurt LA

Oh, Good

This is Batgirl's very first Viking-related post, but she was totally relieved to see this headline in the morning's Strib:

Tice Will Crack Down on Tardiness, Rule Breakers

Next time you guys have a big sex party and totally screw Batgirl's hopes for Legovision Park, BE ON TIME.

EDIT: Goober asks that BG remind everyone that the Twins are no stranger to sex parties. Kris Benson: What Might Have Been.

AJ, Keep on Reaching for Those...Stars?

Also, please see this choice tidbit from an article on Batgirl bad boy boyfriend AJ and his baserunning ploy last night in the The Washington Post:

There was a text message on [AJ'S] cell phone. It was Doug Mientkiewicz, his teammate when both were with the Minnesota Twins, who famously caught the last out of the Boston Red Sox' World Series sweep, then kept the ball.

"Even when you strike out u cause problems," came the message.

Pierzynski chuckled. Then came another: "Go keep the base, you'll make bank off that photo."

Thanks to Shoeless Joe for the heads-up, and Eileen for the picture.

Former Twin Update

Have you ever said to yourself: Self, what I'd really like is a bunch of pictures of former Twin Gary Gaetti paired with bizarre captions? If so, then GaryGaetti.com is for you. Please note the site doesn't work on all browsers, but it's awesome on Mozilla.

Also, tip your cap to the G-man's first base coach Twig, who is retiring after 57 years in baseball.

Meanwhile, did you know former Twin A.J. Pierzynski plays for the Bitch Sox? It's true! The New York Times has a profile.

For all the players on the White Sox who were rejected elsewhere and accepted here, none was rejected so publicly and accepted so thoroughly as Pierzynski. He is beloved in Chicago for the same reason he is hated almost everywhere else. Known for barking at opposing hitters in the middle of plate appearances, elbowing them on their way up the first-base line and stepping on their bats instead of picking them up, Pierzynski has done little to change. The main difference is that he has found coaches and teammates who fully appreciate his efforts. "You play with him and you realize that it's all part of his fire," the backup catcher Chris Widger said. "You take the good with the bad."

AJ also apprently has Jedi mind powers over umpires, as we saw tonight. You have to give the guy credit; only AJ would have thought to run out a perfectly-caught third strike, and only for AJ would that trick actually work.

Nice job, umps! Keep on reaching for those stars!

Nomar: Tall and Sort of Funny Looking Superhero

From ESPN:

BOSTON (Oct. 11) - Former Red Sox shortstop Nomar Garciaparra rescued two women who had fallen into Boston Harbor late last week, his uncle and a witness told the Boston Herald.

Garciaparra, traded to the Chicago Cubs on July 31, 2004, was with his
uncle in his Charlestown condominium at about 10PM ET Friday when they
heard a scream and a splash, said the uncle, Victor Garciaparra.

As soon as the All-Star shortstop and two-time American League batting
champ ran out the door to help the woman, her friend also fell in, hitting
her head on the pier, said Victor Garciaparra, who oversees his nephew's
business and charitable ventures.

Victor Garciaparra jumped from the balcony to the water 20 feet below.

"I swam towards them and by the time I reached them, Nomar was already
there holding the girls up," he told the newspaper. "But he couldn't get
them up without help."

Hot New ALCS Poll

The Rally Monkey beat the Bitch Sock tonight 3-2, with Frasier Krane outpitching a stellar Jose Contreras and A.J. Pierzynski practicing his base stealing skillz. Tomorrow, it's Strep Throat versus Casper the Bitchy Ghost.

Introducing...

Congratulations to Goober and Sooz on their little Twins fan to be.

Aunt BG only has one question...will s/he be able to DH?

Roster Watch: Batkitty #2 Outrighted!

In a surprising move, the Twins have outrighted Batkitty #2 to Rochester. Said Twins GM Terry Ryan, "This was a hard decision. Batkitty #2 has really impressed us, despite the whole humping thing. He's really played his tail off. But we need to make some moves."

Ryan expressed that he hoped to invite Batkitty #2 to spring training. The Batkitty could not be reached for comment.

Legovision Park: Dare to Dream.

For those who support the stadium bill and want to see the Twins bill included in a special session, here are the numbers to call.

Batgirl thinks Carl should build the thing himself, of course, but she also thinks a fairy should come down from the heavens and give her a chocolate sundae and maybe a million dollars. She also thinks the Twins organization floating talk of moving the team if the bill isn't passed is nothing but blackmail and she despises it. At the same time, she wants a new stadium and if it's going to be built, this is how it's going to be. It would, in the long run, be good for the team, and what's good for the team is good for Batgirl.

Governor Tim Pawlenty
Phone: 1.800.657.3717
E-mail: tim.pawlenty@state.mn.us

Dean Johnson, Majority Leader of the Senate
Phone: 651.296.3826
E-mail: sen.dean.johnson@senate.mn

Steve Sviggum, Speaker of the House
Phone: 651.296.2273
E-mail: rep.steve.sviggum@house.mn

The Week In Review

The Twins are taking a bulldozer to their 40-man roster, clearing space for some minor leaguers who will need protection on the 40-man and perhaps some acquisitions. Rivas, Mays, LeCroy, Abernathy, Michael Ryan, Jason Tyner, and Glenn Williams were all removed from the roster. According to the Twins website, and the Strib LeCroy plans to try out free agency, and the club hopes to invite Tyner, Williams, and Abernathy to spring training. With LeCroy gone, the Twins need another righthanded bat more than ever, which raises the question--is Chili Davis still available?

EDIT: Last night Batgirl dreamt that she was watching a Reds game and Chili Davis stepped up to the plate. She was mighty surprised to see him still playing and a little embarrassed that she'd posted the above. But he looked hot.

Good-Bye to Big Crawdaddy and Joe Mays.

From the PiPress:

The Twins outrighted the contracts of designated hitter Matthew LeCroy, outfielder Jason Tyner and infielder Glenn Williams to Class AAA Rochester and have declined their 2006 option on right-handed pitcher Joe Mays, the Twins announced Friday.

Mays was certainly expected, but he's a classy guy and BG hopes he has a monster year wherever he ends up, preferably the national league. LeRoy was probably gone, too, but BG's sure going to miss his dancing shoes, not to mention his running.

Can something fun happen now?

EDIT: For an excellent discussion of the 40-man roster, please see Twins Killings.

EDIT: a little help on outrighting from Will Young.

A player being outrighted means that he has cleared waivers and is being removed from the 40-man roster (the reason all these guys cleared the roster is because no team wants to clog their roster that this point of the year when they have to add prospects in a month). Each player can be outrighted once without his permission (unless he has at least five years of MLB service time). However, Jason Tyner and Glenn Williams assuredly have already been outrighted at least once by their previous organizations. On the second attempt, the player can refuse the assignment (they are being assigned to Rochester), and opt for free agency within 72 hours. These players cannot return to the majors unless they are re-added to a 40-man roster of any team.

I Told You the Offseason Sucks.

Al Newman leaves for Diamondbacks:

Third base coach Al Newman will leave the Twins to become an advance scout with the Arizona Diamondbacks, ending a four-year stint that included some communication problems with other members of the coaching staff.

The move took place a week after Newman met with General Manager Terry Ryan, during which Ryan brought up some concerns.

"I chose to go somewhere because it was apparent that there were difficulties here," Newman said. "If there were some difficulties here, I wished they would have addressed them before it came to this."

This is just...terrible. I spit at this news. Seeing guys round third base is never going to be the same. Who is going to slap players' buttocks with such enthusiasm? BG quite simply loves Al Newman, and she's going to miss him like crazy.

Now, can we win next year so everything isn't so bleepin' blargin' awful?

New Items In the BatStore

Click on the Kitty to the left to visit the BatStore.

A Cause To Believe In

Every once in a while, Batgirl gets an e-mail from someone asking Batgirl to help promote a worthy cause, and Batgirl is more than delighted to oblige. There was the Courage Center raffle, the Parkinsons Disease Bobblehead sale, Twins auctions for hurricane relief.

And here is another: ShutUpTimMcCarver.com

Someday I hope we can remove baseball from the evil clutches of Fox altogether. This is a start. Begin small, my dears, but dream big.

Ode to Twins Geek

Batgirl's esteemed colleague Twins Geek has decided to hang up his keyboard. This is a tremendous loss to Twins fans. When I asked the Geek why he did what he did, he spoke of not only a passion for baseball but of a frustration with local sports coverage; he saw that the local papers didn't allow the space for their reporters to really analyze some of the issues affecting the team. So, in his modest, affable way, he set out to provide that kind of coverage. Want to know who might be a good midseason pick-up for the Twins? Look to the Geek. Want to know how Jacque Jones rates among prospective free agents? Look to the Geek. Want to know how much payroll the Twins will have available next year? Look to the Geek.

In addition, in my interactions with the Geek over the last two years he's proven to be, quite simply, one the classiest people I've ever met. In the faceless, anonymous world of the internet, it's easy to succumb to ugliness, but the Geek has never lost his humanity. He has my endless admiration and respect for how he conducts himself in the world; the Geek has been a force for good, not just as a blogger, but as a person. And on a personal note, he's made this girl-in-a-guys-world feel nothing but welcome, and I can't express how much I've appreciated it.

Please go over there and tell him thanks for all he's done.

The Return of Batgirl's Book Club

Well, the season's been done for about 55 hours and I'm already bored out of my BatGourd. What the hell am I supposed to do, READ? Have meaningful conversations with my family and friends? Bah.

If I'm going to have to do stupid-ass crap like that, it might as well be about baseball. It's high time to reinstitute

The first selection of this off-season will be:

The Numbers Game by Alan Schwartz.

From the back cover:

Most baseball fans, players and even team executives assume that the national pastime's infatuation with statistics is simply a by-product of the information age, a phenomenon that blossomed only after the arrival of Bill James and computers in the 1980s. They couldn't be more wrong.

In this award-winning book, Alan Schwarz - whom bestselling Moneyball author Michael Lewis calls "one of today's best baseball journalists" - provides the first-ever history of baseball statistics, showing how baseball and its numbers have been inseparable ever since the pastime's birth in 1845. He tells the history of this obsession through the lives of the people who felt it most: Henry Chadwick, the 19th-century writer who invented the first box score and harped endlessly about which statistics mattered and which did not; Allan Roth, Branch Rickey's right-hand numbers man with the late-1940s Brooklyn Dodgers; Earnshaw Cook, a scientist and Manhattan Project veteran who retired to pursue inventing the perfect baseball statistic; John Dewan, a former Strat-O-Matic maven who built STATS Inc. into a multimillion-dollar powerhouse for statistics over the Internet; and dozens more.

Schwarz paints a history not just of baseball statistics, but of the soul of the sport itself. Named as ESPN's 2004 Baseball Book of the Year, The Numbers Game will be an invaluable part of any fan's library and go down as one of the sport's classic books.

Batgirl's Book Club will begin Monday, November 7. Please read the book by then and we will begin discussion.

Legovision Territory

A couple requests were made for a larger image of the Legovision Territory postcard in the Fan Appreciation Commercial Reenactment. (This is a Legovision version of a Twins Territory calendar given away at Friday's game.)

Dude! That is NOT COOL!

This year, a close personal friend of Batgirl's described Ozzie Guillen as classy in a national publication. Indeed, all the stupid trash talking and bitching seemed to have subsided this year, and Guillen gave the distinct impression he wouldn't allow it. But Batgirl wonders what her close personal friend thought when she saw this picture:

That's Guillen gesturing to some Cleveland fans on Sunday. The Sox website refers to it as a "joke," but BG is not entirely sure it's that funny. Sure, Ozzie's probably heard it up to his curly locks from those same fans, but the thing about being a professional is you're not supposed to taunt back. And if BG were among those fans, she would have a distinct desire to kick him in the nads, but as regular readers know, BG has anger management issues. And tae kwon do training.

EDIT: It seems from some of our friendly neighborhood Sox fans that Ozzie was clowning around with the Cleveland mascot, who had fake mooned him. One hopes Joe Buck was apoplectic at the fake mooning.

Fan Appreciation: A Reenactment

Detroit at Twins. Weekend Round-Up.
Friday. Twins 7, Tigers 3.
Saturday. Twins 3, Tigers Zilch.
Sunday. Twins 6, Tigers 4.

This weekend, Batgirl was watching the Twins dispose of the Tigers in fine fashion along with the Lego guys. The Legos were really quite emotional the entire series, saying good-bye to all their friends and counterparts. They don't know who's going to be back next year, and also the Legos don't have a lot to do in the off-season, they play some Lego Scrabble and catch up on their Lego reading and sometimes do some impromptu Lego Shakespeare—but really baseball is what gives their Lego lives meaning.

Well, anyway, on Friday night when the Twins Fan Appreciation Days commercial went on, I don't mind telling you that things got pretty teary eyed. And it wasn't long before the Legos had jumped up as one and demanded to reenact it for themselves. So without further ado, the Lego Twins thank you for all you have done in '05.

Fan Appreciation Commercial: A Reenactment:

Lego Lew Fordwalker:

Twins fans……YOU'RE something special!

Lego Chairman Mauer:

And for that…





…we tip our caps.




Lego Bradke:

Our way of saying thanks to everyone…





…across Twins Territory.









Lego Dr. Morneau:

You, who drive for hours to get here.




Lego Li'l Sweetcheeks:

You with your sign…





… and lucky jersey.




Lego Boo:

You..





…with your family in the upper deck.




Lego Nathannator:

You, who stay and cheer…





…until the final out.




Lego Stewie:

The Minnesota Twins salute each and every one of you.




Lego Gardy:

Thank you Twins fans.

Dingers for Dollars! Year End!

Today, Matt LeCroy closed out Dingers for Dollars in fine style, hitting a three run dinger in the first inning. All in all, the Twins hit 13 dingers for hurricane relief—the most charitable Twins were Michael Cuddyer, Jacque Jones, and Dr. Justin Morneau with three dingers each. Matt LeCroy had two, and Li'l Rod and Little Nicky Punto each had one. With all the pledges for individual achievements and the first ten homer matching grant, and some additional pledges in the comments below, the Twins earned: $3925 for Hurricane Relief

To all of you who pledged, thank you so very, very much. Please make your donations directly to an organization that supports hurricane relief, or if your employer matches, even better. Here a few suggestions for donations:

Red Cross
United Way
Habitat for Humanity
Noah's Wish
American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

Here are your totals:

AT $5/homer = $65
Attyfan $5/ homer = $65
BAT Bandwagon $1 /homer, $10/LNP homer = $22
Brooklenegg $5/homer = $65
Bubblemint $5/homer, $10/Castro homer, $5/Nathanest save +two $5 TOTALLY TRUCKIN' HOT bonuses = $105
Candace $10/ Li'lRod homer = $10
The Commish $5/homer = $65
DC Twins Fan $5/homer $5(additional)/Cuddyer homer, $5 walk-off bunt = $80
Dr. Jane $10/homer = $130
Donnalove $3/homer, $3/ Nathanest strikeout (10) = $55
Ford Hoiberg $5/ homer = $65
Hannah (the second) $5/homer = $65
Herald Guy $5/homer = $65
infield $2/homer, $5/Doctor, $10/Bart, $2/Boo strikeout = $58
Jim Crikket $5/homer = $65
Just Beth $1 /homer, $10/ Cuddy homer = $40
kafumbly $10 for Doctor Grand Slam! = $10
Katharriet $1/homer, $10 /Lew homer, $20 if 3-run = $13
k-bro $1/homer, $5 (additional)/Cuddy homer, $20/CGSO (or almost!) = $48
kctwinkie $5/homer, $10 LNP homer, $15 grandslam = $ 80
Kurtis $5/Johan strikeout 9/17 = $80
Mountanaire Man $2 / homer = $26
mp $2/homer $5/Mauer, $5 Cuddyer, $10 grand slam = $45
nan $2/dinger = $26
ndtf $1/Johan strikeout 9/17 = $13
olbiemn $5/homer, $10/Doctor homer = $80
Ovie $5 /homer, $10 LeCroy double, $10 LeCroy infield single = $85
PJStP $5 / homer, $50 /walkoff bunt = $65
pollyannah/pollyannah mom $5/homer = $65
rharp $5/homer = $65
RonDavis 9/18 Vikings loss/Bears win = $39
Ryan $50 if Twins finish the season = $50
Saajak $1/homer, $5/ LNP homer, $10/grandslam = $26
She-Ra, P.O.P. $3/homer, $5 (additional)LNP homer, $5/doghouse boyfriend Kyle Lohse win = $44
Skorch $5/dinger, $10/Morneau dinger = $80
teacherrefpoet $2/homer = $26
Tootie $5/homer, $20 /grand slam = $80
tribescribe $10/Twins victory over Bitch Sox, +$1/margin of victory= $28
Twink $5/dinger (beginning 9/18) = $50
Twins Goddess $5/homer, $5/Johan or Brad start no homer = $70
wildchild $1/homer, $5/ Doctor = $25
Wonder Woman $5/homer, $5/Boo appearance (8 appearances) = $105
Word Smith $5/homer = $65

B.O.D./B.O.Y.

This final Boyfriend of the Day is going to Johan Santana, who may not win the Cy Young or the ERA title, but he is just about the boyfriendest of all the Twins, he has given us something to live for, and he is mad hot. Congratulations, Johan, on the final Boyfriend of the Day of the season.

We are very excited to present the B.O.D. YEAR END TOTALS: Obviously, the readers kicked Team Batgirl's butt, thanks largely to Johan Santana, Jacque Jones, and Torii Hunter. Here are the INDIVIDUAL TOTALS:

Stewie 14, Lewwww 13, Joe 12, Dr. Morneau 11, Johan 5, Jacque 3.5, Torii 3.5, Joe Mays 1.5, One each: Tiffee, Bart, Bradke, Kyle Lohse, Jackal, Nathanest, Castro, Mikey Ryan, LNP, Naked Batting Practice, Rivas, Cuddles, Crain

Congratulations to the readers for their victory and to Shannon Stewart, the BOYFRIEND OF THE YEAR.

B.O.D.

With all due respect for Scott Baker and his six shutout innings, and knowledge that there are plenty of BOD's in his future, BG is giving this one to the Doctor, to compliment him on his bases loaded hit and encourage much RBI production in the future. Plus, Goober's running the marathon tomorrow and BG thinks he could use a boost.

Readers/Field 25, Sooz/Stewie 14, Jeb/Lewwww 13, Batgirl/ Joe 12, Goober/Dr. Morneau 11.