This entry posted by Twayn, with a big assist from Jimmy Buffett.
Headin' down to start spring training
and the pre-season baseball show.
I've got my rally cap on
I think that this year the Twins
will start things off on a roll.
And honestly, I didn't know
that time could pass quite so slow.
Come Monday, it'll be all right.
Come Monday, the season’s in sight.
I spent all winter long
trying to rewrite this song,
and I just want you back on TV.
Yes, it's been quite a winter,
big awards and contracts to sign.
And now you're done with vacation,
it’s time to start playin’ again.
And I tell you, I miss baseball so,
That’s the reason I can’t wait to go.
Come Monday, it'll be all right.
Come Monday, the season’s in sight.
I spent all winter long
trying to rewrite this song
and I just want you back on TV.
I can't help it, funny,
the game’s such a part of me now.
Remember the night in September
When the playoffs were no cause for doubt?
I hope you're enjoying the scenery,
I know that it's pretty down there.
You can hit fungos on Tuesday,
with you I'd watch anywhere.
The offseason’s worn me quite thin,
I can't wait to see games again.
Come Monday, it'll be all right.
Come Monday, the season’s in sight.
I spent all winter long
trying to rewrite this song
and I just want you back on TV.
Okay, on to the unofficial Bat-girl.com 2007 Pre-Season Photo Caption Contest (that isn’t really a contest)™. First, big kudos for all of yesterday's entries, you guys rocked. Really, solid hits up and down the lineup. You battled your tails off, and that's what we like to see. With spring training nearly upon us, we're going to wrap up the uncontest with this photo from the dugout, and what must have been an interesting conversation between Sweetcheeks and the good Doctor.
Get after it, Batlings.
Posted by twayn at February 16, 2007 09:58 AMJustin: "HA! Paper covers rock!"
Torri: "Dang. OK, so Matt do you get it now?"
Matt: "What beats paper again?"
Doctor: Ha! Paper beats rock! I control the radio in the clubhouse!
Sweetcheeks: Why, I oughtta...
Posted by: neckrolls at February 16, 2007 10:31 AMDrat! Beth beat me by two minutes. I didn't copy her, I promise...
Posted by: neckrolls at February 16, 2007 10:32 AMJUSTIN: Whaddaya think, T?
TORII: J, those are the best French tips I've ever seen, man. You da bomb.
Twayn, I had such respect for you before - and then you had to go and use a Jimmy Buffett song as inspiration. I am crestfallen.
Posted by: adidasman at February 16, 2007 10:38 AMRock Paper Scissors to see who tells RonDL to stop friggin' singing.
Posted by: B-Man at February 16, 2007 10:52 AMTorii: "It ain't cool being no jive turkey, so close to Thanksgiving"
Rondell(in a voice full of bass: "Yeah"
Justin: Makes karate noises in his best Bruce Lee impression... "Back up! Do you know who you're messin' with? Do you know who you're messing with in the home dugout of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome?? (voice filling with desperation)"
Yes, I know it's a rip off of Trading Places, but it's one of my favorite movies, and I couldn't resist
Posted by: David at February 16, 2007 11:20 AMDear Adidasman,
One never knows how or when the Muses will speak to us.
Twayn
Posted by: twayn at February 16, 2007 11:21 AMHat-tip to Kramer & Mickey:
Dr: Paper beats rock.
Torii: No it doesn't. Rock flies right through paper.
Dr: Then what beats rock?
Torii: Nothing beats rock.
Justin: "I usually karote chop the ass-bats away."
Torii: "Man, you gotta punch them ass-bats to get them off you."
Rondell: "Torii, what would you know about breaking a slump?"
Posted by: Flip at February 16, 2007 11:29 AM"Hand Jive!"
Posted by: David at February 16, 2007 11:44 AMTorii: "Come on J, give me a pound. Give me some bones!"
MVP: "What? The pound!? Torii, don't you know that the pound is out? The slap is in, here it comes!"
Torii: "No! You better not!"
Rondell: "Come on Justin! Slap me!"
Posted by: DTB at February 16, 2007 11:51 AM"So I had Punto filled my Slurpee up to here. He put it in one of those yard-long margarita glasses, like you see out in Vegas. Darn thing is as tall as he is."
Posted by: Franorama at February 16, 2007 11:57 AM(Gah!)
"So I had Punto fill my Slurpee up to here. He put it in one of those yard-long margarita glasses, like you see out in Vegas. Darn thing is as tall as he is."
Posted by: Franorama at February 16, 2007 11:58 AMJustin: What's up little bat?
Torii: You want another one of my high fives?
Posted by: nailbiter at February 16, 2007 12:02 PMTorii: Justin, if you touch me again I will beat the Canadian out of you.
Justin: Come on, I dare ya.
Torii: Don't test me!
Posted by: JMorneau#1 at February 16, 2007 12:12 PMRondell:Singing: Take me out to the ballgame...
Doc: Noo! It's "Take me ooooooout tooo the ballgame, eh?"
Sweetcheeks:Thinks: *Great*, We'll never get on "Clubhouse Idol" THIS way.
Posted by: Piranhtachew at February 16, 2007 12:29 PMMorneau: So this is what they offered...
Hunter: Don't let them back you down, man...
White: No way, they offered you that much and you said no?
Garza (wistfully): Arbitration... someday...
Radke (thinking to self): Man, I'll bet they're just biting like mad at Mille Lacs.. damn, did I remember to take the garbage out?
Posted by: ramon at February 16, 2007 12:55 PMTorri as Chubby Checker:
"Come on I going to punch you again,
like I did last summer!
Yeaaah, I going to punch you again,
like I did last year!
Do you remember when,
My fist was coming,
Yeaaaah, I'll punch you again,
fighting` time is here!"
I mean "Torii"
Posted by: bc twins fan at February 16, 2007 01:13 PMTwayn, the Muses may speak in many ways and inspire us in many forms, but one thing I do know - none of them address us through Jimmy Buffett.
Posted by: adidasman at February 16, 2007 01:29 PMLOL, Ramon. I believe that's *exactly* what Bradke was thinking.
- sporto
Posted by: sporto at February 16, 2007 02:10 PMTwayn now you got that song stuck in my head.
Posted by: wls at February 16, 2007 03:13 PMRondell: "I'm bringing sexy back. You other..."
Doctor: You want me to give him a karate chop to the neck?
Sweetcheeks: Nah, normally a quick punch in the face does the job... until he gets Fergalicious in his head.
Mattie G: (thinking) I think I'm going to go hang out with Nathan for awhile... batters are a weird breed.
Bradke: "Say again? There's a scrunt in our locker room? Copy that. I'm on it."
Posted by: Shelley at February 16, 2007 03:42 PMSweetcheeks: "Them Ultimate Fighting guys are bad ass. I seen this dude knock a guy out with one punch."
Rondell: "Huh,...."
Doctor: "I like hockey for the fighting, eh... but I like the midget fights they got up der in Canadia, eh."
or
Sweetcheeks: "I will knock you out just like I did last year, you big Moose eatin' Canuck."
Doctor: "You must be this tall to ride this ride, eh."
Rondell: "This could get ugly... I go take a nap now... so sleepy."
or
Rondell: "Do it, do it."
Sweetcheeks: "Rondell told me he could fit my fist in his mouth."
Doctor: "I don't think its gonna fit, I put the odds at about 50/50. Any bets"
Posted by: Re-Sign48 at February 16, 2007 04:42 PMHee hee ... Beth beat me to it. I totally was thinking paper covers rock.
Posted by: Army of Mom at February 16, 2007 04:46 PM"Torii, those are the worst jazz hands I've ever seen. You do it more like this."
Posted by: Army of Mom at February 16, 2007 04:47 PMJustin: Dude, you think you're big, but you only come up to...
Torii: DON'T SAY IT, MAN! I'll do to you what I did to Rondell a couple minutes ago!
You all have come with great captions all week... wish I had half the imagination of some of you.
Great "Buffetization" twayn!
JC
Posted by: JimCrikket at February 16, 2007 05:02 PMI can't wait for Spring Training to get rolling on Monday!
Posted by: TwinsTerritory at February 16, 2007 05:52 PMHunter: I don't care how they play in Canada, Morneau. In America, ROCK BEATS PAPER!!!
White: Yeah...Rock beats paper. No question.
Morneau: Really? I thought that was consistent throughout North America.
Garza: (Thinking to himself) Seriously...I heard this conversation like five times a week in the minors. I thought things would get better up here.
Posted by: Reboulet at February 16, 2007 07:03 PMnotice in the background that Bradke is practicing for his new gig as a Secret Service guy.
Posted by: TD at February 16, 2007 07:45 PMRondell: "Well I won't back down, no I won't back down..."
Garza: (Thinking to himself) Hey, I think that girl in Row 2 just winked at me.
Bradke: (Thinking to himself) Man, I love that the training staff started stocking more Q-Tips.
Dr. : Clay Aiken really is just a so-so performer.
Torii: Take that back! You take that back right now or else!
Posted by: bayareatwinsfan at February 16, 2007 08:09 PMAdding to Reboulet's:
Hunter: I don't care how they play in Canada, Morneau. In America, ROCK BEATS PAPER!!!
White: Yeah...Rock beats paper. No question.
Morneau: Really? I thought that was consistent throughout North America.
Garza: (Thinking to himself) Seriously...I heard this conversation like five times a week in the minors. I thought things would get better up here.
Morneau: Okay then . . . who's up for a game of Duck Duck Goose?
Hunter: Ahhh, man! Here in Minnesota it's Duck Duck Grey Duck!
White: It's WHAT??!!
Nice Beth, I love hearing people's reaction when I say we play (the superior version) Duck Duck Grey Duck.
Posted by: Shelley at February 16, 2007 09:42 PMTorii Hunter and Justin Morneau are the unlucky finalists for the weekly rock-paper-scissors contest to see who has to retrieve LNP from RonDL's mouth.
Posted by: SoCalTwinsfan at February 16, 2007 10:04 PMMan, I wish I could think of something like this. They're just all so freakin awesome. I just sit here, reading all of em, wishing that someday I could actually think of something like this...But I cant and it sucks. I wonder if you can buy imagination...
Posted by: Blu eyes at February 16, 2007 10:13 PMRondell: "Daaaaaaaaaaang..."
Posted by: haplo at February 16, 2007 10:49 PMBeth,
Brilliant addition to my effort. Duck, duck, grey duck (and I totally dig the grey spelling as opposed to the gray way) is the only game; duck, duck, goose is for poseurs.
Posted by: Reboulet at February 16, 2007 11:36 PMMorneau: My snake style will beat any stile, A?
Hunter: No, No My stile "the rock stile" will totally kick your butt. (Note: mouth keeps moving for a while)
White: OK ONE TWO THREE GGGGOOO (at this moment he realizes that one of those crazy fans has jumped onto the field and turns to look holding the note for far to long.) oooooooooooooo!!
Garza thinks to self: So this is what it is like in the M.L.s? Yikes!
Bradki: We have a 31-47 here requesting back up, yes, 31-47 that’s a crazy kung fu fight in the dugout.
Sorry for the length and non-humor of this post it must be too late at night.
Torii: "You're gonna get it at recess!"
Justin: "Chill, T-Dawg . . . eh"
OT: Hey Reboulet! You're back! :-P
Posted by: Bring Back Reboulet at February 17, 2007 01:03 AMThanks Sporto - Bradke is the closest thing we've had to Knt Hrbck in years. Although I'm sure he will do a few more situps after retirement.
Posted by: ramon at February 17, 2007 01:11 AMI dont have a caption but doesnt matt garza look like he's saying get me out of here? lol
Posted by: Sheldon at February 17, 2007 07:10 AMDTB took mine! Boo.
Posted by: FordHoiberg at February 17, 2007 11:07 AMSince Jimmy is part-owner of the Miracle, who play in the same stadium as the Twins do during Spring training, that's especially appropriate.
Posted by: kurtis at February 17, 2007 01:34 PMFirst of all wasn't this shortly Justin went Boom-boom on Zumaya?
Justin (To Torii): See I like them fastballs up here too.
Torii: That's my bread and butter right there.
Rondell: If only they hadn't tied my shoulder too tight to handle those pitches... (starts crying)
Garza (thinking): You mean I can't pound 97 mph heaters at the letters in the bigs? Meh, I'll try it anyways.
"Unfortunately, Little Nicky Punto chose that exact moment to glance at the dugout from second base. After a careful reading of the signs, he took off toward the pitcher's mound, determined to steal home.
Gardenhire would never take another in-game bathroom break again."
Posted by: Dr. Trivicon at February 17, 2007 07:43 PMDid the pitcher survive the piranhta attack? :O
~~~~~~
Stripper: Hey. After the game, Anyone want to play, "Duck, duck, Grey Goose?"
Doc: I doooon't knoooow if that'd wooork well with the Tiny Slurpee(TM pending) Heroooo...
Sweetcheeks: Yeah, A buzzed piranhta is NOTHING to (mess) with, Rook.
Rondell:: Is in shock remembering the *last* time LNP played a drinking game in a clubhouse.::
Black Knight::Remembers how long it took to get LNP to *stop* beating up Bitch Sox in *their* clubhouse.::
Posted by: Piranhtachew at February 17, 2007 09:04 PMWell, the many who recognized the game of rock-paper-scissors were obviously spot-on, but it's equally obvious that RonDL's saying, "Tiiiiiiiger Claw! I /told/ you to use Tiger Claw!" (And Garza's clearly thinking, "They probably don't even know Pen Missile.")
Posted by: cubsalot at February 18, 2007 07:43 PMJustin: Hey friend, I'm not looking for an trouble.
Torii: We'll looks like you found it punk.
Rondell: (in high pitch cronie voice) Man, he's gonna' pop yo' ass one mutha' f***a'!
I think Torii and the Doc are showing the baseball world some "shake and bake."
Posted by: Shaun at February 18, 2007 11:19 PMMorneau: "Next time, dude, if the ball is this high and it's still a 100 feet from you, don't dive for it."
Hunter: "You know what MVP stands for, Justin? Miserable Vancouver Prick."
The Doctor: No! No! Sweetcheeks! Rondell! I didn't mean it that way when I said Matt here should try to paint the black!
Posted by: Trinity at February 19, 2007 09:38 AMJustin: No, really, Eddie Gaedel was this tall.
Torii: I'd like to see a midget cage match between him and LNP. LNP would sock him good!
Posted by: Jason at February 19, 2007 10:24 AMDr: I swear T, the MVP trophy is this tall. Have you ever seen it?
TH: Steal a HR from Barry Bonds at the All-Star game and then we can talk.
Posted by: Freealonzo at February 19, 2007 11:34 AMAlright, Frenchy, paper might cover rock, but if I lay your a$$ out it's not really gonna matter.
Posted by: wolvesgeek at February 19, 2007 11:59 AMThis much magic fuckin' unicorn.
Posted by: Matthew Roberts at February 19, 2007 07:06 PMTorii: You dog it again, and so help me, I'll pop you just like last time!
Justin: Yeah, I'm shaking...
Rondell: Don't make me sit between you boys.
Matt: Why don't they just fight and get it over with?
Brad: I'm so glad I'm out of here.
Posted by: RadicalModerate at February 20, 2007 08:12 AMJustin: "Hey man, slap me some skin!"
Torii: "Seriously?! Is this the 80s? The fist bump is the thing now, you big Canuck."
Rondell: "I think I need a tetanus shot. I shouldn't have eaten all of those pennies on a dare. Damn you, Red Dog. I can't even close my mouth."
Posted by: Dave at February 20, 2007 08:35 AMHey, in Jason Williams's spring training blog (he a beat writer for the Pioneer Press) he mentioned Batgirl as jis all-time favorite "baseblogger".
Posted by: Flip at February 20, 2007 10:59 AMPaper might beat rock, but USA is gonna whoop some Canada butt if you don't pick up my gear, newbie.
Posted by: JRO at February 20, 2007 11:53 AMJustin: "I like 'em this high"
Torii: "I like 'em even higher"
Matt (thinking): "No wonder you strike out so much Torii"
Rondell: "I remember when I used to like 'em..."
Brad (thinking): "Man, if everyone had a strike zone that big I would have more strikeouts than Blyleven."
Justin: "He's about this tall, and green, and I keep him in my locker during games, for luck."
Torii: "Oh, man, that's weird!"
Rondell: "Ohhhhh! THAT explains it!"
Garza: "Explains what?"
Rondell: "Uh...nothing. Never mind."
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