Hahaha! what a treat to find this when I am putting off doing homework. and unfortunately, its so true!

HAHAHAHAHA... that was great! Only a couple more months til pitchers and catchers report.

OMG that is hilarious! You are BRILLIANT BG!

I hope the Tigers don't catch the suck because I'd rather have another WS in the AL central than in the NL.

Note to Twins, please have exterminators remove all traces of the suck from the team prior to April 2, 2007. Thank you.

Brilliant indeed!!

Note to Attyfan: I concur. Wholeheartedly.

"And when Bobby Kielty walked in after his regular postshower sticking his finger in a light socket"

*snork!* So true! So very true!

*sniff*

Thank you, BatGirl. Your kindness and humor bring me to tears.

"It must have infested the stadium when they were there. I mean, that was a lot of suck."

Yet another reason to rejoice over our new stadium a few years down the road...but does this mean we're gonna have to suck until then? Maybe the suck-fungus developed from the lack of fresh air indoors?

Maybe it was carried over from the Vikings.

Perfect!

(You just got a link from David Pinto.)

tee hee. tee hee hee.

Oh, ouch.

Yeah, that was my thought from the A's/Tigers series -- that, somehow, the ass-battedness from the Twins had migrated. We can only hope that it won't migrate to the Tigers.... but with such a long layoff before the Series (since the NL contest is now tied) it's possible. [But I'm still rooting for the Tigers. Leyland used to manage my first baseball fan attachment: the Pittsburgh Pirates.]

Thanks, BG, for something to read during the post season. This is my first year with your blog and I was afraid that after the last Twins game, there wouldn't be anything until next year. Now I have to check it every day to see if there are new posts. Huzzah!

Ouch momma. I’ve had that burn for 10 days!

I was watching the only game left yesterday, a fine series in the great baseball town of St. Louis. I decided to track some McCarverisms. Help me out. They may be used in the future as part of a formal protest.

Mostly, Tim was mercifully quiet. Maybe it was nervousness after the Steve Lyons thing. (Give me back Batgirl's America, bitches!) Or maybe it was because the game turned into a rout. But early on there were some gems.

In the 4th inning, Ronnie Belliard stole second base. He made a weird slide with a hitch, the throw from LoDuca was short, Valentine was in the wrong spot to make the tag, and he waved the ball past Belliard’s ankle. McCarver searched his mind, but didn’t know who to blame. During the slow-mo replay, like only Tim McCarver can say it:

“He hit the dirt.
He made the tag.
But he didn’t touch him.”

The next inning, Belliard made an error at second. The ball hit the bottom of his glove. McCarver had been talking about how deep Belliard plays at second, which had nothing to do with his clean miss, but that didn't mean McCarver couldn’t use the error to prove he’s a goofball:

“When you play that deeply it burns you."

Soon after, Delgado hit a 3-run opposite field home run. McCarver during the replay:

“Falling behind in the count was Brad Thompson…”

They are the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

Ok, from whom did the Twins contract the disease? I suspect Ozzie Guillen poisoned the champange on that last day of the season while the Twins were watching the Tigers/Royals game.

k-bro

The suck is definitely a lovely gift from the Vikes. I think they take it with them at the end of the season.

Here's what I think. I think the Athletics were the ones who brought that nasty, slimy fungus into our pristine, hermetically-sealed environment. I mean, come on - we saw what our boys had done all season. Does it make sense that they'd suddenly be incapable of doing things they'd done in their sleep? Luis Castillo not getting a sac bunt down? Rondell White not executing a sac fly? Torii Hunter misplaying a fly ball? There is no logic to this. So those evil people from Oakland, with those ugly green uniforms (the green fungus color is not a coincidence, I tell you!), come to our town and render us incapable of functioning. Thump us soundly, even with El Presidente on the hill. But oh, the sweet irony - their immunity wore off just in time for them to be afflicted with the same malaise, just in time for them to have their collective hat handed to them by Los Tigres. I suspect it was Darth who contracted it first, since he had suffered from it so many times in his days with the Bitches and has always had a weak immune system; from there, it was just a few high-fives and chest butts later, and they all fell ill. I'd like to feel sorry from them, but I just can't - I'm too annoyed about the fact that we should have been the ones in the ALCS, not those white-shoe-wearing imposters. Oh, well.

McCarver kept saying that the pitch will be slower if the pitcher grips the ball tightly. I've never been a pitcher, but it would seem to me that the tightness of the grip would have almost nothing to do with the speed of the pitch. Indeed, I'll bet McCarver just made that up. It sound like something Cliff would say from the end of the bar. Can any of BatGirl's astute readers enlighten the rest of us (because McCarver, even if he's right on this one, is beyond enlightenment).

Go Tigs.

JIm H.

Dear Mr. H;

Apparently Mr. McCarver is right. The tighter grip causes friction, which allows the baseball to move. It also slows it down a bit.

Here is a website my son likes (he aspires to be a right-handed pitcher). Scroll down to the Two Seam Fastball for an explanation.

http://www.thecompletepitcher.com/pitching_grips.htm

However, I do agree that Mr. McCarver almost always sounds like Cliff Claven.

k-bro

wound reopened. ouch. pinch of salt in there, too. funny, BG, but ouch. can we forget games 163-165, please??

ps. can swisher contract some of that fungus in his lower lip? does that bug the hell out of anyone else? the permanent smirk on his face is just... ugh!

The fungus claims Ken Macha!

Billy Beane wields a quick AXE!

Ryan wouldn't do that to Gardy, would he. Would he?

Funoka -
Really -wow!

BG- I think you know why!!!!!!!

Much Love
Wonder Woman

Let's hope the dome is fumigated for next season. Yikes! I knew there had to be an explanation BG.

Macha gone, one of the Bitches (Uribe) in hot water down in his homeland for possibly shooting someone who "got too close to his Jeep"...man, this is more interesting than the playoffs.

Which, by the way, have been pretty dull overall this year, don't you think?

This was really funny (no surprise there). Thanks for this great little story. You're very good at them, BG. Haha. Suck from the Twins. That's hilarious. Hopefully, the suck they gave to the A's will continue to stay with the A's and never come back to the Twins again.

IT BURNS, OH HOW IT BURNS!

beauty.

Ahhh, self-deprecation is cleansing....

Please bring bleach, windex, Murphy's Oil Soap, Comet, Bon Ami, Ajax and Swiffers to the Comerica Park home clubhouse please. We have four days, but hurry! Feel free to let the suck grow in the visitors clubhouse.