Cleveland Indigenous Peoples at Twins. Weekend Round-Up.
Friday. Twins 3, IP 2 (10 innings).
Saturday. Twins 6, IP 2.
Sunday. Twins 5, IP 2.
When Josh "Broccoli"* Rabe got the call that he was coming up to the bigs, you can forgive him if he looked to the heavens and screamed, "Nooooooooo!" Because there is something rotten in the Twins clubhouse and I don’t mean Lew Ford's flip flops. Outfielders are dropping left, right, and center—we lost three and a half this series (the bottom half of Jason Kubel) and Michael Cuddyer's looking a little jumpy. Terry Ryan has hired two full time body guards for Little Nicky Punto, Tiny Centerfielder, and Jason Tyner played the games this weekend like a man just trying to make his mark before he meets his maker.
We're still alive, man!
The rest of the Twins rallied the best they could, with Radke and Silva partying like it was 2005 (Now with more run support!), even keeping the Travishafner/Pronkzilla from doing any major damage, although BG did assume the crash position every time he came up. LNP ran the bases yesterday like there was someone chasing him with a knife and fork and Dr. Morneau showed Captain Cheeseburger that revenge is a dish best served by hitting the crap out of the ball. Then today Castillo discovered a fabulous way to get around the bases without pain, Cuddy hit his first homer in 81 at bats, and Rondell White—well, I don't know how to say this, really, so I'll just out with it—hit a homerun. And boy, were the Twins happy, especially LNP who could finally add White to his Comparative Butt Chart.
Let's see….firm, but not as firm as Torii's, with the pleasing smoothness of Morneau's….
It was a fun weekend to watch baseball, and whether fans packed the Metrodome because of the Twins hot play or because it was about 800 degrees Farenheit (the temperature at which blogs burn) here in Twins Territory is hard to say. On Saturday, Batgirl was musing that an indoor stadium might not be such a bad thing, if you really sat down and thought about it, but Batling Kurtis quickly pointed out that if CC Sabathia had to pitch in that heat he wouldn't last two innings. It was an excellent point.
Better yet, we got to see two, count 'em, two temper tantrums by the Indians—one was Mr. Sabathia after Morneau went very, very yard on him. He called out the whole grounds crew to come out and fix some groove on the mound, because clearly the groove gave up the dinger and it must die. Then after he flied out to end the game tonight, Aaron Boone went into the dugout and threw Gatorade cups all over the place, which is just so classy, because the cups were evil and made him fly out and must die. Batgirl sincerely hopes he cleaned them up afterwards.
So, to sum up: Twins Outfielders Down: 3.5; Temper Tantrums by Indians: 2; RBIs by Jason Tyner: 5; RBIs by Travis "Crash Position" Hafner : 1; Three-HR Games by Casey Blake: 0; Cheesebugers Eaten: 84; Gardy Ejections: 1; Earned Runs Allowed: 6; Bitches Sat Down: 26; Total Temperature : 2400; Victories : 3; Happy Batgirls : 1.
BatNote 1: Do not forget, the Joe Mauer Sideburn Contest is in full swing. The JMSCSHC has decided there will be winners in TWO categories: Actual Sideburns and Creative Expression. Photos are due to Batgirl July 28th. Start growing!
BatNote 2: Batgirl made the mistake of trying to code after midnight, and messed up the whole first graph of Thursday night's entry. As a result, the link to the very cool Mother Bear Project got obscured, not to mention a picture of a handknit men's thong.
*nickname courtesy of Twink.
I love the look on LNP's face in that picture. So funny.
And today's game was a fun time.
Posted by: Rach at July 16, 2006 09:26 PMI tell you, after a scary start on Thursday, this series perked up in a hurry.
Posted by: CarrieICL at July 16, 2006 09:31 PMI figured Batgirl would find that pic of LNP after Rondell's homer. That pic is so hilarious!
Posted by: Nora at July 16, 2006 09:32 PMkudos, that is a hilarious post
Posted by: Dave at July 16, 2006 10:08 PMWow, Chippy...er, i mean LNP, sure is contemplative. And he's keeping watch to make sure the other guys don't see what he's doing.
(Chippy (n.) short for The Chipmunk, cause little nicky punto totally reminds me of one)
Posted by: iheartmntwins at July 16, 2006 10:11 PMGood one BG.
Posted by: Twin-X at July 16, 2006 10:13 PMDoesn't Nick look like he's thinking, "This is so wrong but it feels so right?" I love it and saved it for my screensaver under the name "Inappropriate Touching"
Posted by: Erin at July 16, 2006 11:25 PMGreat entry for a great weekend. 'Bitches sat down' is my favorite baseball stat.
Posted by: Bob at July 17, 2006 12:37 AMThe Rochester Twins of Minneapolis made me happy today.
Posted by: RyanH at July 17, 2006 03:46 AMFantastic post BG. I also added the LNP pic to my screensaver pics. Thought about the open air stadium this weekend, but it was pointed out to me by my little SPAMS that they would rather sit in the heat of hell then in the recycled air of the Metrodome.
Posted by: Spamsmom at July 17, 2006 04:44 AMI'm gonna have co-workers wondering what the hell is so funny. That is a great pic, one LNP will not be able to live down.
And big week coming up. Twins play TB at home, Detroit and Chicago get to beat up on each other.
Posted by: Pun at July 17, 2006 08:16 AM=)
Eweeeeee - does Lew-Lew need new flip flops - they have some pretty bitchin' ones at old Navy =)
Did you see Little Nicky Punto on Rosen's Sports Sunday? He was so cute - unfortunately Mark did not ask Nick about Rondell's bum
The Chairman's parents were also on - reporting about all the All Star fanfare - and Mark asked about any 'dirt' on Joe - and well nothing -what you see is what you get with Joe -they did meet the beauty queen - I guess she was in town a couple of weeks ago - they said she was a nice girl and Jake Sr - said she and Joe were just friends =)
Happy Monday to all
Much Love
Wonder Woman
PS - Hey Yankeefan - thanks bunches now we can go back to 'hating' each other for awhile - LOL =)
Posted by: Wonder Woman at July 17, 2006 08:47 AMIf you'd told me the only game they'd lose is the one started by Liriano, I would have thought... well, I wouldn't have thought you were crazy, because I knew Liriano had traveled about 18,000 miles and had 45 minutes of sleep over the past five days, but I still would have been suprised.
Posted by: Kurtis at July 17, 2006 09:30 AMOther than the joy of a Twins victory with El Presidente firmly at the helm, is there anything better than seeing ol' Cap'n Cheeseburger lose? That stupid crooked cap, that size XXXXXXXXXXXXXL uniform, that vacuous expression, that gelatinous physique - he's just absurd. The rest of the Indigenous Peoples aren't exactly fashion plates, either; are Hafner's pecs just so enormous that he can't quite get those jersey buttons buttoned, or is he just trying to make some kind of primitive style statement? Maybe he wears his regular shirts like that all the time, showcasing his flashy gold bling and his ample chest hair like Barry Gibb used to do back in '78. And what about that pipe cleaner hair on Belliard? Like some 3rd grade craft project involving a potato and some yarn. I'm just glad the Twins seem to have a bit more sartorial sense than those Cleveland fellows do.
So i see our former favorite Canadian is back on the DL...poor Corey. Somebody get him one of those big padded Sumo wrestler outfits, OK? He needs protection.
Posted by: adidasman at July 17, 2006 10:11 AM"Ran the bases as if someone was chasing him with a fork and knife"- hilarious. Of course, another entertaining post BG.
When I first say that pic of LNP I thought you had photoshopped it or something- but it was the real thing! Kinda gross, but funny caption. Win Twins!!
Posted by: L.H. girl at July 17, 2006 10:20 AM*saw* not say- I'm retarded.
Posted by: L. H. girl at July 17, 2006 10:22 AM"Comparative Butt Chart"
now i just keep the glass cleaner right next to the monitor.
you kill me.
Posted by: Charley at July 17, 2006 10:36 AMWhile I agree that the Indigenous Peoples are startling unattractive, I've got to protect young Grady Sizemore. He gets an honorary place in the Twins screensaver and will be forgiven for every homerun he hits off a Twins' pitcher. Travis Hafner is on steroids and CC should be in a zoo.
Posted by: Erin at July 17, 2006 10:39 AMI saw that picture when I was reading the Strib this morning and I almost choked. Poor Nick, that was a good one. There was a really cute picture of Nick Punto and Luis Castillo giving each other a high five while in mid air a few days ago in the Strib but I've been unable to find it online.
Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2006 11:11 AMI think its great that the Red Wings are finally giving players like White and Castillo a chance to show they belong and can play at this level.
It was great to see Cuddyer hit a homer. I think he has proven that he belongs with the Wings.
Really though, loved Cuddyer hitting a homer, I hope he doesn't wait another 81 at bats. I hope Mauer gets back to hitting like it was June again. And Morneau, wow, he is like on another planet.
I hope Stewart and Torii get better but man does their injuries really stick it to the Twins. I guess we still get to see what happens with Loshe at the deadline.
Oh and I think Lil Nicky was making sure someone wasn't watching before he got a handful of White meat. (Could there be a jealous party if he was caught?) Sorry Nicky we are always watching.
I'm assuming there is going to be some awkward looks between the two of them in the clubhouse today.
GO TWINS!
Posted by: cal at July 17, 2006 12:32 PMSqueeee! I got credit for a nickname!
Posted by: twink at July 17, 2006 01:49 PMWW,
Very well. T'was a good weekend all around though. We had some good times... :)
YF
Posted by: YankeeFan at July 17, 2006 02:25 PMthat picture of LPN still makes me laugh :p
Posted by: pinkflamingo at July 17, 2006 10:39 PMFound it! Hopefully this link will work, if not just go to the Twins Yahoo! page and click on photos. I think it's on the third page of photos.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/photo?slug=41db99aa60e647f6a78896efc319dfa4.indians_twins_baseball_mpem107&prov=ap
Posted by: Sarah at July 18, 2006 01:22 PM