Through Top Secret channels, Team Batgirl was able to obtain security camera footage from the Metrodome yesterday. It seems Kyle Lohse did, in fact, pay a little visit to Gardy's office after learning of his demotion. Unfortunately, due to the patent civil rights violation and the fact that Batgirl doesn't know how to do video capture, she can't post it here. Instead, she gives you a reenactment, with Legos.
Face contorted with hatred, Lohse gathers himself outside the office.
A practiced bash with his bat makes quick work of the office door.
As if in slow motion, Lohse approaches his target.
Take that you stupid chair!
Die, books, die!
Nearly blind with rage, Lohse topples the bookshelf.
You'll never log on to Batgirl again, Gardy!
Now more animal than man, Lohse busts up Gardy's desk.
How do you like my ERA now, bitch?
Mission accomplished, Lohse makes a final obscene gesture towards the camera.
BatNotes: if you want to go to the June 11 game, BG needs your check by the end of next week. Please email BG if you want to go.
Batling infield is part of a group doing the AIDS walk on Sunday and is holding a fundraiser yard and jewelry sale as part of the CARAG neighborhood yard sale. If you’d like to sponsor her in the AIDS walk visit her page.
Batgirl's close personal friend will be reading from The Shadow Thieves Friday night at 7pm at Barnes and Noble Maple Grove.
That was...humorous?
I must say, this was my favorite line: "Nearly bling with rage, Lohse topples the bookshelf." ;-)
Posted by: Annun at May 18, 2006 09:25 PMYup, yup it was.
Posted by the committee for 'Keep the G'.
Posted by: jim, jim turbo at May 18, 2006 09:33 PMHa ha! Classic, Bat Girl!
Posted by: The Jack Morris Mutual Admiration Society at May 18, 2006 09:37 PMOops.
Posted by: Batgirl at May 18, 2006 09:47 PMHah, annun, that was my thought exactly! How does one bling with rage? Teeth glitter menacingly? Perspiration gleams? I'm at a loss, but however it happens, I'm a fan of it.
Posted by: FordHoiberg at May 18, 2006 09:56 PMhahahaha... I love it!
Posted by: kafumbly at May 18, 2006 09:58 PM"Face contorted with hatred"...
Yes...Gleefully evil I would say.
And even scarier in black & white.
Yeah, that 'face contorted with hatred' line was comedy gold. Well done Beeg.
Posted by: Will at May 18, 2006 10:54 PMYes, definitely scarier in black and white.
A much needed laugh today...I never knew Gardy had a tree in his office, but I suppose it fits. After all, his name is GARDENhire.
Posted by: Spyder44 at May 18, 2006 10:55 PMWow, Lohse is getting overpaid so much, even his RAGE has bling! "How you like my ERA now, bitch?!"
Yup, ghetto fab.
Posted by: aussie at May 18, 2006 11:33 PMWow. Kyle carries his own radar gun. Who knew?
Posted by: TD at May 19, 2006 12:12 AMI hope The Shadow Thieves wasn't on Gardy's shelf when Kyle knocked it over!
Posted by: Donnalove at May 19, 2006 01:18 AMIs this the first LegoVision of the season? It's all been one painful blur. Because if it is, it's our last hope. If LegoVision can't convince this team to undergo an anal craniectomy (i.e. pulling their heads of their ass), nothing will.
Posted by: neutrino boi at May 19, 2006 03:07 AMI don't suppose capturing the view of Gardy's office, enlarging the picture and scanning the shelves for the Twins' game-plans and scouting reports would help out the Yankees next time they face you... Heaven knows they need all the help they can get.
No, Mr. Steinbrenner, I was kidding. It was a joke. No, a joke. Certainly. See it's made of legos. No, don't send Cashman to... oh fine, forget it.
YankeeFan
Posted by: YankeeFan at May 19, 2006 06:32 AMI like how in the last picture, Kyle smashed right through the wall. hahahaha. I can't stop laughing. this is great.
Posted by: kafumbly at May 19, 2006 06:54 AM
This is SO cool! Lohse has a way of bringing out thoughts about the workplace. I'm glad he's only a major-league pitcher and not a post-office employee. When baseball players "go Lohse" they usually only hurt themselves, as opposed to when others go postal! Click on my name for Mr. Baseball's Lohse-inspired workplace memory.
Bat-Girl.com -- Where Twins Fans Laugh to Keep From Crying.
neutrino boi, I heard that during the offseason Loshe underwent an optorectumy, where surgeons severed the nerve connecting his eyes to his ass in order to clear up his crappy outlook on life. Sadly, the operation failed.
Posted by: twayn at May 19, 2006 08:44 AMNo, no, no - the best bit is, "Now more animal than man..." Certainly, with Lohse, the more accurate statement would be, "Now more petulant two-year-old than man..."
Please, Mr. Ryan, send Kyle away. Far, far away. (Maybe YankeeFan wants him. If only they had someone under the age of 37 they could offer us in a trade.) I'd rather lose every game the rest of the season than see Mr. Cranky pitch for the Twins again.
By the by, has anyone noticed that the vests seem to have vanished? Perhaps THEY can be blamed for this travesty of a season???
Posted by: adidasman at May 19, 2006 09:04 AMLohse has some power in his bat. Let's try him in the clean up.
Posted by: nailbiter at May 19, 2006 09:30 AM"Damn it feels good to be a gangster..."
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at May 19, 2006 09:31 AMLegovision makes the hurt go away. Unless you're the lego version of Gardy's office.
Posted by: Rach at May 19, 2006 09:44 AMI'm rather surprised and shocked that Gardy hasn't learned to sabotage his office. He keeps enough practical joke stuff in there.
Posted by: Saajak at May 19, 2006 09:52 AMBG:
I cant stop laughing...you are in midseason form!!!
Unfortunately the Twins (with exception of Santana, the bullpen, cuddles, and a couple of others) are not...
DAM
Posted by: DAM-DC Twins Fan at May 19, 2006 10:38 AMIf I credit BG, can I add the "obscene Lego gesture" to my repertoire of signs of dissatisfaction?
Posted by: WC at May 19, 2006 11:38 AMI can hear the old time movie theater organ playing while reading this one. The Horror!
Thank you BG
Posted by: cal at May 19, 2006 11:43 AMNot only another vintage entry, but I remain convinced legovision breaks losing streaks. Well timed, BG!
On more positive notes... Matt Garza shut down opponents on one hit in his first AA appearance since being promoted (Santana, Liriano, Bonser, Garza... the names just roll off the tongue!) AND I can almost smell the hotdogs cooking at a new outdoor stadium as the conference committee has approved essentially the House version of the stadium bill!
All we need is a win tonight and it will be just about a perfect day.
Posted by: JimCrikket at May 19, 2006 11:46 AMOnly BG could make this funny.
Lohse is a piece of work. I think the Twins should file charges this time.
Soon we can start planning the BG Opening Day 2010 Bash!
Posted by: Eileen S. at May 19, 2006 12:00 PMEileen, no doubt! I was so psyched when I heard the conference committee came to their senses!
Posted by: TwinsCubsSeries at May 19, 2006 12:51 PMI knew this wasn't real when your video showed that there were actually books in Gardy's office. He of "Stats don't tell you nothin', I manage with my gut" sentiment, simply ain't got time for no book lernin. That must be Theo Epstein's office.
Posted by: J. Lichty at May 19, 2006 12:54 PMJL, it's funny you questioned the books. I, on the other hand, wondered how Gardy managed to get a tree to grow in his office when we've never figured out how to get real grass to grow on that plastic ballfield.
Posted by: JimCrikket at May 19, 2006 01:23 PMHaven't you heard stats like facts can be faked...your gut on the other hand...well I'd like to see to someone fake what's going on in Gardy's gut.
LOL
Vamos Twins!
Posted by: cal at May 19, 2006 01:52 PMOn the Twins web site, behind the "auction" tab, you'll find a ball autographed by Harmon Killebrew for $60.00. There is also one autographed by Tony Batista. Price? $60.00. Something is very very wrong here.
I wonder what Kyle's JUGS gun would bring?
Posted by: Jim H. at May 19, 2006 02:33 PMDear Jim H.,
If it's autographed, $60.00.
Sincerely,
Annun
"Now more animal than man" made me spit out my delicious VitaminWater green tea beverage.
Posted by: LaurieNY at May 19, 2006 03:10 PMHello Batgirl,
I took many pictures of Matt Garza from yesterday's game here in Manchester, NH.
http://aaronreynolds.ca/gallery/Dino_Lima
Enjoy!
Posted by: Dino at May 19, 2006 03:52 PMDid Kyle report to rochester? I thought he had till today to do it, and if he didnt, the Twins would be off the hook for his contract.
Posted by: Scotty_Dawg at May 19, 2006 08:51 PMDearest Batgirl,
This was the delicious icing on the beautiful cake that was the explosive departure of Kyle, He Of The Tremendous Ass-Arm And Whiny Ass-Head. Thank you so very much.
Kyle in Rochester and the Twins stadium bill out of the conference committee with promised passage from both Rep. Sviggum and Sen. Johnson.
And then Liriano gives me a RBI and Cuddy adds to his already case for "The Jersey Chris Should Buy" Competition, and T-Fat goes Grand Salami on us? What a DAY!
Posted by: Chris at May 19, 2006 11:24 PMBuy that jersey, Chris!!!
Posted by: LaurieNY at May 20, 2006 09:24 AMKyle might think he has it bad, but it's really Gardy that's the worst off...he can never log on to Batgirl again. EVER.
Posted by: Stacy at May 20, 2006 12:50 PM