Twins at Texas. Twins 4, Rangers 3.
Before the game, Kyle Lohse stood in the middle of the clubhouse looking confused.
"What is it, Kyle?" asked NBP.
"I don't know," Lohse said, looking around. "There's like a breeze somewhere or something?"
"Huh," said NBP. "I don't feel it."
"It's weird," said Lohse. "Everywhere I go I feel this, like…wind."
"Huh," said NBP.
A few minutes later, Joe Mauer came by dressed snappily in Perry Ellis, to find Lohse turning around slowly, looking at something just behind him.
"Lohse, what are you doing?" Mauer asked, taking a big chug of his strawberry Grip N' Go.
"Do you feel that? That wind? It's like…following me."
"Uh….no."
"Huh.
A few minutes later, Juan Rincon came by to find Lohse turning back and forth 180 degrees, facing one wall, then the other. "Lohse! Que Pasa? Tu eres loco?"
"No," said Lohse. "It's just there's this weird breeze right behind me. Every time I turn around, it's still behind me…"
"Oh," said Rincon. "That's just Francisco Liriano breathing down your neck."
"Oh!" Lohse said. "Really?"
"Si!" said Rincon. "Didn't you know he was there? It's pretty hard not to notice."
With that, Lohse went over to the clubhouse mirror. He inched in next to Brad Radke who was working a thick sweet smelling pomade into his hair, only to look at his reflection and find that Cisco was, indeed, breathing down his neck.
"Huh," Lohse said. "You'd think I would have noticed that. What do I do about it?"
"Um…" said Rincon, thinking hard. "I don't know. Pitch bueno?"
"Right!" exclaimed Lohse. "Pitch bueno. I'll try it, thanks!"
So, Lohse strode to the mound with new purpose today as Francisco Liriano's hot breath warmed the back of his neck. "I've got to pitch bueno," he muttered to himself, "and get this guy off my $@*?!#& neck." And the funny thing was it worked—Lohse started the game well and Liriano retreated. But then Lohse would begin to falter, Rangers would get on base and threaten and there Liriano was again, breathing, breathing, breathing. "Crap!" Lohse would say. "Pitch bueno!"
And then he would, he would pitch bueno again, and Liriano would retreat, and it was really bueno because these are not the Kansas City Royals, mis amigos, to whom leaving RISP is as natural as breathing, these are the Texas Rangers and they are good at hitting the baseball. But Lohse kept them quiet; with the help of Cisco, Lohse was able to find himself again, was able to keep the Rangers in control and give the Twins another actual real live series victory and even--dare I say--hope. And that is bueno indeed.
Come to a game with Batgirl: Details here.
More Random Links from Goober. Webhamster. (Music will play.)
Buena job to Kyle Loshe today, I just wish I didn't have school.
Posted by: Twinsboy at May 10, 2006 09:41 PMBeeg, you got an extra " at the end of the Webhamster link, rendering it temporarily useless.
Posted by: Will at May 10, 2006 09:52 PMWho knew the power of Francisco? It was all muy bueno.
Posted by: Attyfan at May 10, 2006 09:57 PMI love the Hamster Dance! But I like the original hamster-free version better: "Whistle Stop," by Roger Miller, which is the theme song to Disney's Robin Hood.
Posted by: Kurtis at May 10, 2006 10:09 PMClick my name for the song when it's not on X.
Posted by: Kurtis at May 10, 2006 10:11 PMMajor thanks to Liriano for keeping Lyle reined in so that Kyle could do his thing today.
Posted by: FordHoiberg at May 10, 2006 11:17 PMCisco can now devote full time breathing on Bradke -- and blow him into the retirement he seems hellbent on starting six months early.
Posted by: funoka at May 11, 2006 07:22 AMSo who do we congratulate for yesterday...Kyle or Francisco?
Posted by: Stacy at May 11, 2006 08:59 AMYippee! Finally Kyle is able to do what he does worst: not meltdown in pressure situations--and not just once! Please, Liriano, keep breathing down the necks of all the starters--Bradke, Silva, Lohse...Baker and Santana, too, just for good measure. And someone needs to get the Red Wings team stats posted in the locker room, just as a reminder that there's more where he came from.
{MTRR that the Kansas City royals swept the Cleveland Indians this week--as hard as their pitching might try to give the games away, the Landed Gentry hitters would not let them lose. There was actual hitting with RISP.}
Posted by: JustBeth at May 11, 2006 09:08 AMhee!!! oh Batgirl, your insight explains so many things for me.
*giggle*
Posted by: CapitalBabs at May 11, 2006 09:40 AMCover Girl?!? Did Kyle win America's Next Top Model competition?? Darn I missed it =)
Much Love
Wonder Woman
Shhhh! Wonder Woman, don't wake the sleeping beast....
Posted by: WC at May 11, 2006 10:27 AMWe are going to the Rangers game at Ameriquest on July 9. Fair Scandinavian skins being what they are we would like to find out if there are shade areas. Watching yesterday's game leads me to believe that the areas behind first base would work. Could someone who is familiar with Ameriquest give some advice about seating? TIA.
Posted by: vikingvx at May 11, 2006 10:27 AMGoober, The Hamster dance is the best. I am saving it for when I ready to KILL. Thank you, Thank you, a thousand times Thank you.
Posted by: Mary at May 11, 2006 11:41 AMI'm glad Kyle decided to pitch beuno, because in spite of the temper tantrums, in spite of the up-and-downs of his starts, I've always liked Kyle.
I like Francisco too, but he can wait for a bit.
Plus, I think Kyle's cuter than the Cisco Kid. Although he certainly has his own charm.
Posted by: kierra at May 11, 2006 03:55 PMWonder Woman, don't say that even in jest. There's still a few hours left in this off-day, and anything can happen... (shudder)
Posted by: LaurieNY at May 11, 2006 08:14 PMGood job today, too true. but wouldn't he be pitching bien?
Posted by: Myjah at May 11, 2006 11:19 PMvikingvx,
One of the Batlings just sent back some pictures from his trip to AmeriQuest Field the other day. This one in particular might be of help:
http://i3.tinypic.com/zim5pw.jpg
Looks like your best bet is getting into the last few rows of the lower deck.
Posted by: Will at May 11, 2006 11:41 PMThanks Will.
Posted by: vikingvx at May 12, 2006 08:30 AMThe outlaws had us pinned down at the fort
Cisco came in blastin', drinkin' port
The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine
Wow, Roger Miller rocks, Kurtis. I had to hear that twice.
Dang, I'm excited for tonight. I'm taking the whole family. The Bitches Are Back! Booya AJ! It's a dome day. Cap night. Our Decider is on the mound! Bring 'em on!
Posted by: nailbiter at May 12, 2006 09:04 AMI was at that game! And the boys seemed awfully loose except Kyle. When he'd come back to the dugout, I'd stand and clap and tell him he was doing a good job and to stay with it. But, heh, he just kind of ... glared. Or maybe that was focus.
The seats out in right field, vikingvx, on the lower level are also in the shade. Not being fair skinned or Scandanavian or having outdoor baseball, I was shocked to learn even I was somewhere between medium rare and medium after the game. I highly recommend sunscreen.
You can click on my name and on "Create an account later" to view the photos. There's even some boyfriend butt shots for those that like that kind of stuff.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at May 12, 2006 06:01 PMI'm sorry, click on my name and "View photos without signing in" to see the pictures.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at May 12, 2006 06:02 PMAwesome photos, mmmarkiep, thank you!
Posted by: Word Smith at May 12, 2006 10:02 PM