Finally. MLB.com picks up on somthing we've had to agonize over for a year. Yay for No Ass bats!

Well, the headline copy person appears to understand. But the poor writer (Jim Malony) is stuck in the old rut of thinking that the players are/were the problem. Talent can only do so much!

Thank God for the insight provided by Batgirl. She shines a light on this otherwise dark and dank world of baseball analysis.

In other breaking news: Water is wet.

"Inconsistent offensive contributions from others like Michael Cuddyer, Juan Castro, Luis Rivas and Nick Punto didn't help."

SO unfair to Cuddy. He had a league-average season, which is a big deal for the Twins these days, and was downright *good* after the first two months or so. That sentence should read "Offensive deathtraps like Juan Castro, Luis Rivas and Nick Punto, and Ron Gardenhire's insistence on playing them out of what can only be explained as a deep-seated personal hatred of Jason Bartlett, didn't help."

I love how Molony refers to Carlos Silva as a "ground-ball wizard".

"I am Carlos the Wizard, and this baseball has been magically ensorcelled to find an infielder's glove upon leaving your bat."

Carlos: Ha! My 6+ Spell of "Groundball domination" has beaten your Ass-bat, Lew!

I really hope that cuddyer has a break out season in RF and some thing like .285/.360 with 20 hrs would be insane but i think he has the talent to do that.Denny Reyes was cut which of course certainly means that Franisco liriano will start the year as the left hander out of the bullpen(hopefully los(h)e will be given a chance somewhere else soon) and liriano's time in the pen will be short lived although he should be very good there. and it also means that Willie Eyre will be the new long guy out of the bullpen which is good it's time the twins gave him a chance.

NO MORE ASS-BATS!!!!

"Carlos: Ha! My 6+ Spell of "Groundball domination" has beaten your Ass-bat, Lew!"

As a neurotic D&D geek, I feel compelled to correct a grotesque error in this statement. Spells are measured in levels (1st - 9th) while weapons get the bonuses. So, a more correct version would be:

Carlos: Ha! My 6th level spell of "Groundball Domination" has beaten your +5 Ass-bat, Lew!

(I say +5 because weapons can't get a higher bonus than that. However they can have additional nifty powers like Icy Burst or Ghost Touch....or in this case, Ass)

Not that anyone cares....

Well, we now know which name Lew posts under. :)

\\Carlos: Ha! My 6+ Spell of "Groundball domination" has beaten your Ass-bat, Lew!"

As a neurotic D&D geek, I feel compelled to correct a grotesque error in this statement. Spells are measured in levels (1st - 9th) while weapons get the bonuses. So, a more correct version would be:

Carlos: Ha! My 6th level spell of "Groundball Domination" has beaten your +5 Ass-bat, Lew!

(I say +5 because weapons can't get a higher bonus than that. However they can have additional nifty powers like Icy Burst or Ghost Touch....or in this case, Ass)

Not that anyone cares....//

That's ok. Sorry for my gross mistake.

"Well, we now know which name Lew posts under. :)"

ha!

point.

Twinsboy and Sendric, you have made my night. :-)

hee hee

oh! and Salt-Man Z for starting all of that. seriously. I love you guys.

I saw today that the twins decided they had no choice but to put Francisco Liriano in the Bullpen to start the year. This is probably the stupidest thing ever, but I keep equating him with Inigo Montoya from the princess bride: "My name is Francisco Liriano. You hit my starter; prepare to die!" I hope he and Baker stick around all year.

I'm fervently hoping we don't see any ass-bats of last year. I hope we changed companies and materials or maybe had the Doctor smuggle some across the border. I'd say that I hoped all the bats from last year were burned, but I think it is unethical to pollute the air with the scent. Hopefully they were sent to Chicago.

We love you too, Kafumbly. Everyone is happier the closer we get to opening day.