Be gentle, oh Girl of Bat. Dennys, the big sweetie, is a longtime BF of mine. Stupid Twins. First Jacque and Matty, and now this. Stupid, stupid, alien fishmonster Twins.

"Willie Eyre", said out loud, can easily be mistaken for "will he err?"

I like the kid. But there's a giggle to be had in this SOMEWHERE, I'm sure. Or maybe I'm just easily amused.

Cheer up BG. I'm with infield. Willie Pitch? Willie Walkim? Willie setup the Nathanest of Joes? There's all sorts of potential. I know you'll take full advantage of the opportunities.

You can take the approach us Bitch Sox fans used with Scott Eyre a few years back and call him "Jane."

Dear Mr. Ilk,

That is indeed where Batgirl's thoughts lie. But she is just a madwoman in the attic.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

I don't know how you can over your midnight breakfast food reference loss, but maybe calling Torii Hunter IHOP will help.

In a perfect world, we would be given at least one season in which Eddie Guardado, Dennys Reyes, Rich Garces, David Wells, Bobby Jenks, and Mike Fetters could all be together in the same bullpen. Preferably, the Yankees bullpen. (Sorry, Eddie.) You know, pinstripes are slimming.

Oh BG, you're not a madwoman, just a misunderstood Caribbean.

Can't a guy read a little baseball humor without allusions to lit crit texts that he hasn't thought about in 10 years?

As for Willie Eyre, can I just point out that his first name is Willie? If you can't make a funny about a guy named Willie, then, well... maybe you're spending too much time with Gilbert and Gubar, because the Bat Girl *I* know would be all over that like horsehide on a ball of cork and twine.

I agree with LaurieNY. No Matty and Jacque.........sob

Hey, it can't be that bad when you have Tony "Ass" Batista on your team.

I prefer cricket, myself.

Late to the party with the Bronte jokes, but if he can't find the strike zone, there are plenty of Goonies jokes to be made...

Chester Copperpot...

Not as helpfully as he'd originally hoped,
YankeeFan

Of course, there's always hope that Raymond "Burger" King of Colorodo or John "Ronald" McDonald of Toronto will become a Twin. Or Reggie "Colonel" Sanders for that matter. David "Taco" Bell could be a Twin. You already basically have a run at Carl's Jr. and Shannot Stewart's.

Hey what about Frank "Dave" Thomas?

Too far?

YF

One more, then I'm done, I promise.

Mariano Duncan Donuts.

That is all.
YF

All of you except Linda are just plain mean. Mean, mean, MEAN!!!

Oh, yeah...his middle name is "Mays". Willie Mays Eyre. That oughtta be good for a few jokes during interleague play, at least!

Dear Ms Batgirl,

Perhaps ROCHESTER could do something to help young Mr. Eyre?

That's about all I remember from that book.

Ilk
(who minored in AMERICAN not British Lit)

Jason Stark has an interesting story about Brian Buchanan, he of the former Red Wings. Click my name.

Dear J Lichty, Shouldn't shouldn't Hunter be called IIHOP instead?

heh

Although my Gilbert and Gumar is a bit rusty, I believe that even THEY made fun of Willie Eyre's name, noting that it is a play on both "ire" and "air." I also believe that there is ample room to discuss Willie's alter ego "Bertha," described by Bronte as "a big woman" who "showed virile force in the contest." So perhaps the ample Dennys Reyes DID make the team, in a manner of speaking....

Don't throw in the towel just yet! There are some Jane Eyre jokes to make!

Hang in there, Bat Girl!

While I can understand your distress at losing Dennys, the risk was just too great that Little Nicky would become a mid-inning snack once again.

Seen a picture of Willie Eyre? He looks like the kind of guy who would deadpan "There is nothing funny about Willie Eyre.".

Of course, he has a great "Talk-like-a-pirate" name. Eyre, maties!

The Twins can always hope Dennys ends up on an AL Central team. (The Twins have been almost as successful against him as Choi off Radke.)

Somehow, I imagine him ending up on the Yankees in August and stringing together like his 10 best appearances ever, as if his name were Leiter, Small, Chacon, or whoever else the Yankees have rented.

AJ made it to the Onion! That is big time!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/46905

They're BACK! Banana cream pie blizzards are BACK!!!!!

If he sucks hard enough, you can always encourage the Twins brass to "Free Willy." Lame, I know, but I'm just dipping my toe into this water.

Dear Batgirl and Batlings,

I am a long time Twins fan, but have not had the privilege of actually seeing them play in their home park. I do catch them at Fenway when they are in town, though. My fiancee and I are going to be in Minnesota in July this year (16th - 19th) and I hope to catch as many as three games. I wasn't sure whether to buy ahead of time or to wait until we get there and buy day-of. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to approach this and what the best seats might be? In Boston, you pretty much have to hope you know someone with tickets in order to get in. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Much love,
Sendric

PS Twinsboy, I hope you didn't take offense to my comments yesterday. I did not mean to be offensive in any way.

And you just breeze past Scott Baker's Square? We need to have TC Bear hit him in the face with a pie after every strikeout.

Also, Batista is now Fat Tony. It's not even a question. Liriano can be Frankie the Squealer. With two people each fighting for the spots of Louie and Joey, all we still need are Legs and Johnny Tightlips.

Sendric:

No offense taken. Don't worry about it.

Okay, I love the Banana Cream Pie Blizzards, I really do, but I hear they've got COCONUT CREAM PIE Blizzards now!

Dear J Lichty, Shouldn't shouldn't Hunter be called IIHOP instead?

nice

Mlbtraderumors.com has a interesting trade that may be lurking for the twins. he's gotten some right but alot more wrong but it seams like there might be some talk out there.

Sendric,

Just so you know, there are no good seats in the metrodome. If there were, we'd get a heck of a lot more people there attendance wise.

So you'd be pretty good anywhere but the nosebleaders.

While it's true the Dome is a football stadium and therefore full of bad seats, there are definitely some places where the sight lines are more acceptable than others. I would just warn you that you can't go by the cost or by what the computer considers "the best" seats available. Tastes vary, but I prefer the upper deck seats around/behind home plate, which in my opinion are superior to lower deck seats farther down the baselines, where you have to crane your neck to see the batter. I'm pretty happy if I can get anything below, say, row 15 in sections 221-227, which are very reasonably priced. (Of course, if you're into catching homeruns or foul balls, that's not the spot for you.) Fortunately for you, Sendric, the Devil Rays will be in town, so you should have no trouble walking right up and getting good seats. If you are able to get to the Cleveland game on Sunday, you might want to plan on buying tickets ahead of time.

Sorry for posting off topic, but I'm not up on my restaurant chains and have nothing to contribute on that score. IIHOP made me laugh, though. And the Jane Eyre jokes, more along my line.

Et tu, Smitty? :)

YF

Thanks, Word Smith. I'll look into that area. I'm hoping to hit 2 or 3 games if possible.

Well, his full name IS William Mays Eyre...
That has to count for something