It was supposed to be a short cut, that was all. For the girl was tired after visiting her grandmother, and still had to blog—even though it wasn't the same anymore. It hadn't been the same all season, without him.
She had been told, of course, never to go into the woods. And when she was young, she was scared of them, for strange sounds emerged from there at night. Something was in those woods, she was told, something not quite of this earth.
But she was older now and not scared of much besides Francisco Rodriguez and Batkitty blackheads. She had given up childhood fears. She was not scared of the woods. The woods were lovely, dark, and deep. And it would be so much shorter, to cut through them…. Just straight ahead, no problem, just like that…
But it got dark so quickly in the woods, and the shadows made such strange shapes. There—is that the trip through the NL West? A strange caw came from the distance, and from somewhere else, a raven's cry—Hee-Seop Choi! Hee-Seop-Choi? The girl's heart began to pound, and behind her she heard the approach of heavy footsteps—was that C.C. Sabathia? Was he coming for her? She began to run, run as fast as she could through the woods, through the terrible darkness, with the footsteps behind her all the way, growing closer and closer and then—
Her foot struck something and she plummeted to the ground, the bones in her ankle shattering. Who put that ass-bat there? It didn't matter, now, there was no time for recriminations, for the footsteps were almost upon her, she was in third place, and soon it would all end horribly.
No, no, she told herself, her heart pounding, you can get through this. Just think of Corey Koskie. His light will show you the way. And so she did, she closed her eyes and she thought of Corey, Corey would not be scared. Corey would just beat up a chair and hit lots of homers and say "eh?" Corey Koskie was not scared of anything. And maybe if she wished hard enough, Corey Koskie would come save her now.
Please Corey Koskie. she whispered. Please, come save me. Corey Koskie, you are my only hope.
And then, suddenly, there was a light in the sky and the girl's heart swelled. The light grew and took shape and suddenly became a person—Corey? He was coming! He was coming to save her from all of this!
No, no, not Corey, but an angel, great and terrible, he had white hair and a shiny palette, and he said, "I am sorry, young girl, but Corey Koskie is not coming for you. He's been traded to Milwaukee."
And then the angel shrugged and added, "I've asked Tony Batista to come save you. He's a real free swinger."
And then the girl was mauled by a bear.
Finis.
LOL! Very good!
Posted by: Twinsboy at January 8, 2006 05:49 PM*passes BG a shot* Here. I think you need this. Then have a good cry and let it all out. Wear some black and listen to too much Sarah MacLachlan.
Then come back to us, BG, for the time for mourning will soon be over, spring training will start, and if politics don't kill it stone dead, we can watch our lovely players enjoy the WBC (*cough* Go Venezuela! *cough*). Baseball will return, the angst of the off-season will pass, and we can all stop feeling like depressed goth fifteen year olds who just watched Garden State 20 times in a row and just go back to being Twins fans.
The Robert Frost quote was noticed and loved, by the way.
Posted by: CarrieICL at January 8, 2006 06:36 PMEerily similar to a certain Stephen King novel...
But I've always loved Corey Koskie way more than Tom Gordon.
Nice work BG!!!
Posted by: bubblemint at January 8, 2006 07:40 PMLOL - I'm sorry- I shouldn't be laughing at a girl being mauled by a bear - but it was funny!!
BTW - I haven't been to the Brewers new stadium - the old one yes -and I cannot remember from watching on tv - is the Brewers dugout on the 1st or 3rd base side??
THANKS!!
and thanks for the giggles!
Much Love
Wonder Woman
Brewers dugout is on the 1st base side.
And here's to hoping that the ass-bats stay away from most of the roster, and ankles, for that matter.
Give them to Batista. No one will notice a difference.
Posted by: neutrino boi at January 8, 2006 09:45 PMThanks for making me laugh to help me through my grief...
Posted by: CJF at January 8, 2006 09:52 PMMother said, 'straight ahead,
Not to delay, or be mislead.'
I should have heeded her advice.
But he seemed so nice.
I am a newbie to posting on this blog, but I couldn't hold back any further- Bat-Girl, I think I'm falling for you! And I'm a Yankees fan too (booo-hiss!!!). Can you forgive me? Will you marry me? God, I'm sweating over here... OK, I'll try to keep cool next time. Great story!
Posted by: Adam at January 9, 2006 09:42 AMAnd I'd almost gotten over my Hee-Seop Choi nightmares, too. Now they're going to be overrun with ravens.
Posted by: Redbird at January 9, 2006 10:31 AMAnd I was actually looking forward to seeing Cory Koskie in Twins Hottest Chick again . . . to whom should I forward my therapy bill?
Posted by: Me at January 9, 2006 11:51 AMI'm starting now to prepare myself to deal with watching a Cubs-Brewers NL championship series, especially the shock of seeing Michael Restovich coming off the bench to hit the series-winning homer for Chicago.
Posted by: nailbiter at January 9, 2006 11:58 AMI think the real question is whether TR would have taken Koskie's contract for five dollars and a box of ten chicken mcnuggets. That offer might have still been too rich for the Twinkies. Sadness.
Posted by: S.J. at January 9, 2006 12:29 PMOutstanding work BG...T.Gordon and S. King must be extrememly jealous...
After the Twins win in 2006 you could expand into a book?????????
Posted by: DAM-DC Twins Fan at January 9, 2006 12:31 PMS.J.
They now sell NcNuggets in a 10-pack? Oh glorious day! Who needs Koskie!
Tongue-in-cheek,
YankeeFan
I'm worried about Jeb to be honest. His poor little hear must have been ripped out of chest all over again by the thought of Koskie playing for the Twins
Posted by: public enemy mike at January 9, 2006 03:36 PMHas the time finally arrived? Our boy Bert is getting a well-deserved shout-out by Stark on ESPN.com:
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=2283084
Posted by: Florida at January 9, 2006 03:56 PMOh, my, BG.
This blog is beginning to turn a tad dark....
Posted by: NY-Brian at January 9, 2006 04:31 PMInteresting add on to comment on Jayson Stark article. ESPN.com also has 10 ballots--7 guys voted for Bert (thats short of 75% needed)--wonder if thats an omen??? Jim Caple also has article on ESPN.com blowing Bert's horn.
Posted by: DAM-DC Twins Fan at January 9, 2006 04:38 PMYeah, but the 10 ESPN guys also all voted for Gossage.
Posted by: heraldguy at January 9, 2006 04:57 PMVery clever.
Posted by: Campagna at January 9, 2006 05:18 PMYou make me cry, Batgirl.
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