Twins at Oakland. Weekend Round-Up.
Friday. Twins 1, Athletics 0.
Saturday. A's 5, Twins 2.
Sunday. Twins 2, A's 1.
Now that Torii Hunter's out for the season, the question of who commands the stereo has created a lot of tension in the Twins clubhouse. After much squabbling, a Mike Redmond hissy fit, and some major agita on the part of Kyle Lohse, bench coach Steve Liddle developed a stereo-privileges wheel, using a kit he ordered from Parenting magazine, to determine who would be in charge on any given day. The wheel also served to designate tasks such as taking out the clubhouse garbage and reminding Gardy to take his blood pressure pills.
The wheel proved very successful, though close observers noted that Lew Ford's turn kept falling on an off-day. When questioned, Liddle said enigmatically, "Baseball is a game of inches."
On Friday, for the first time, the chore wheel favored Justin Morneau who was so excited he showed up five hours before game time with his entire CD collection, which he had had his mom ship down just for the occasion. Indeed, the Twins clubhouse was ready to rock.
So, when Johan Santana walked in to the visitors' clubhouse at McAfee Coliseum, he was greeted with a sound unlike any he'd ever heard before.
"What is this mierda?" he shouted, putting his hands to his ears.
"It's Whitesnake!" said Morneau, flashing the universal signal for "Rock on!"
"MY EARS! MY EARS!" screeched Santana, falling to the ground, writhing and clutching his ears.
"It's better than the crap Stew was playing yesterday!" muttered Jason Bartlett.
"Hey!" Stewie said. "Renee Fleming is one of the greatest sopranos ever to tackle Gounod!"
"I'll give you two million dollars if you shut it off," whimpered Santana, still writhing.
But it was to no avail. Santana offered his Cy Young award, his first born, a position in the Santana Cabinet, but Morneau would not relent. And as Santana took the mound, he found "Here I Go Again (1987)" echoing unrelentingly in his head.
And the rest is rock history.
The next day, it was Johan's turn to work the stereo, and to the surprise of many he reached into Morneau's CD collection.
"Tu eres loco?" asked Silva.
"It works," said Santana. He turned to Morneau. "What is this--" he articulated carefully— 'Twisted Sister?' It is good, si?"
"It ROCKS!" said Morneau, flashing the hand signal again.
To make a long story short, everything was going very well for the Twins until the 6th inning. During the Twins at bat, Joe Mays decided to slip into the dugout to visit the little boys room and thought he might take some time to listen to some Morrissey.
You know what happened next.
Suffice to say on Sunday, when it was Carlos Silva's turn both on the mound and with the stereo, instead of playing the hot new track he, Santana, and Juan Castro had recorded that weekend called "Livin' La Vida Loca," he left the stereo to Morneau and the Twins came out thrashing to the sounds of Quiet Riot.
Rock on, my friends, rock on.
LOL - and many giggles - as a child of the hair band age - I so can appreciate the musical choices!!
But why the Poison picture instead of a Quiet Riot one - since that's what they were headbanging too??
Joe Mauer makes a fine sub for Bobby Doll infact maybe Joe should dress up like him for a little Halloween fun =)
Thanks BG!!!
Much Love
Wonder Woman
Rock you like a hurrica-ane!!!
Posted by: Eric at August 14, 2005 10:00 PMJoe Mays listening to Morrissey made me laugh extremely hard.
Nice.
Posted by: Haplo at August 14, 2005 10:03 PMJustin's rock symbol=classic.
As a side note, Candace and I brought him some AC/DC stuff when we met him, lol.
Posted by: Stacy at August 14, 2005 10:35 PMOMG!!!
too funny... I will admit to being surprised at the depth of musical appreciation shown by the young Doc in being a fan of 80's rock. I get a flashback to my high school days but.. really.. he was BORN in '81. That is some impressive musical education - if not taste...
Posted by: CapitalBabs at August 14, 2005 10:36 PMCannot...stop....laughing...at....that....picture!!!
Classic. Purely classic.
Keep it up, BG!!! :-D
And yes, we did bring Justin AC/DC stuff :-D
Posted by: Candace at August 14, 2005 10:37 PMHm. Makes sense. Morrissey: Good for England, bad for baseball. Got it.
The picture rocks! (*headbanging*). Thank you for not using the cover of Look What the Cat Dragged In. 'Cause Twins Hottest Chick is creepy enough.
Posted by: twink at August 15, 2005 01:37 AMHmm. In England, Arsenal won the league championship in 1989 and 1991. In 1992, Morrissey released the album, "Your Arsenal." Although the Gunners managed to collect the FA Cup in 1993, it required a replay and extra time to put down Sheffield Wednesday, and Arsenal would not win the league title again until 1998, a 5-year drought of top glory. Also, after researching this and therefore having "Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want This Time" on the brain, I just typed in the word "droubt" and almost didn't notice the error. Meanwhile, I feel an sudden pull towards contemplating vegetarianism and celebacy as a lifestyle.
Coincidence?
Posted by: frightwig at August 15, 2005 05:32 AMThat first baseman of ours certainly has some diverse musical appreciation--much of this music came out while most kids his age were listening to the classical stylings of Barney. You made a good choice, young Justin. Good choice, indeed.
And we won a road series!
Posted by: Just Beth at August 15, 2005 08:21 AMHorray for Hair Metal. I'm glad it's good for something other than VH1 specails.
Shout! Shout! Shout! Shout at the Devil!
Posted by: TwinsinBoston at August 15, 2005 08:56 AMCheers to Frightwig for not only sneaking in futbol to Batgirl, but Arsenal futbol!
Glory, Glory Arsenal!
Posted by: soccerfan at August 15, 2005 09:05 AMEven though I'm only a whopping 3 years older than our young Justin, I remember having posters plastered on my wall of Vince Neil and Nikki Sixx. I too share a deep love for the hair bands of the 80's, what's not to love about eyeliner, massive drum solos and bleach blonde lead singers who go on to make home made porn?
Needless to say, I think they should stick with the hair bands, it seems to have worked well this weekend. I would be more than willing to throw in my old Ratt, Judas Priest and Dokken cassettes. And if it means getting the wild card, I'll even through in my Iron Maiden tapes, and I never part with my Iron Maiden tapes.
Posted by: HooliganKat at August 15, 2005 10:17 AMmmmmmmmmmmm....a Rudy Sarzo double shot.........
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at August 15, 2005 10:21 AMFunny. Stuff.
Would anyone hate me if I put two late entry caption suggestions here? I was finishing up my last two grad classes ever last week and didn't have time to visit BG.
Mine --
"You know if we had signals that were like space-ninja moves, they would be easier to decipher from the plate."
Husbandy's --
""coach...I rolled a 9...I was invisible! It was 9, I swear...I was invisible!!!"
Maybe Joe Mays should have gone with some Duran Duran or Culture Club instead of Morrisey - perhaps Joe favours more toe tapping then the headbanging.
Much love
Wonder Woman
Kinda along the same lines......
Quoting the ever-schlocky Meat Loaf.
When in Oakland this time of year, winning "two out of three ain't bad".
Especially when only scoring 5 runs. :)
Lew Ford as CC DeVille?
Lew, pick up that guitar and talk to me...
Posted by: E at August 15, 2005 12:12 PM5 year drought from top glory? How short you gooners' memories have become, before 1989, the last title was, wait for it, 1971, a 'drought', of 18 years.
And who won ten titles in the meantime? oh yeah LIVERPOOL, THE CURRENT EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS!!!!!
(I say all this living down the road from Finsbury Park)
Posted by: Dan in London at August 15, 2005 01:50 PMChampions of Europe, Fifth in the Premiership. Go figure.
Posted by: frightwig at August 15, 2005 02:41 PMI must say, that picture of the Chairman on the Poison cover looks so natural, it doesn't even seem Photoshopped. Scary. Grow out the hair, dude. It suits you.
Posted by: frightwig at August 15, 2005 02:48 PMI can't stop giggling at that picture!
Posted by: olbiemn at August 15, 2005 04:32 PM