BG - Mr. Eddie G. (who, just moments before I typed this, notched his 22nd straight save and is 23 of 24 for the year) is conspicuous by his absence. Durst I conclude that the Joest of Nathans has totally supplanted Mr. G in a Batgirl's heart??

Mr. Steve

I hears ya, Batgirl. Out here in Seattle they are veering toward negative personality.

Today on the radio the fans and sports jock were discussing that if Everyway Eddie is traded they'd have no personality. None. Zilch. Made me laugh. Thought they were already there.

I've been making the case since I got here that the reason this team folded in 2001 was that Boone was its only vocal personality and that when his bat goes south, so does his personality and leadership. Which is exactly what happened in the 2001 playoffs.

So, with Boone actually physically gone (he'd long been mentally gone), the locals have now realized what it all means to the team. That an ex-Twin is the personality of this club. Eddie? Eddie! A minor personality relative to the Twins from which he came (steve, you beat me to it, ya rascal).

So, consider yourself lucky, Batgirl. It could be worse.

Sassafrassily,
jekyll

P.S. It's no wonder that most of the 50 some Mariners blogs -- all active during the 2003-2004 off-season -- are no longer updated regularly if at all. :(

P.P.S. Does Charlie (finally) have a personality in Tim Burton's remake?

Let's see...talented players WITH a lot of sass. Phew...and we thought the trade pool was rather limited before ;)

Let's see...A.J. Burnett, Carlos Lee (rumored), Alfonso Soriano (ex-Yankee could make things interesting if he arrives during New York series)

Anybody from Boston (though it may turn south bat-wise)

But BG. If you want an upgrade...what about DH? There's always a great story around the corner with Lil' Lewwy.

I'm with Steve. Eddie --> Joe Nathan is a serious personality/character drain that should not be overlooked.

"I've been making the case since I got here that the reason this team folded in 2001 was that Boone was its only vocal personality and that when his bat goes south, so does his personality and leadership. Which is exactly what happened in the 2001 playoffs."
--------------------

While Boone and most of the M's hitters save Ichiro and Edgar had a lousy 2001 ALDS vs. Cleveland, I have to point out that Boone was one of the few M's who did bring his bats to the ALCS that year. He hit .316/.381/.632 against the Yankees in that series. It wasn't his fault that the M's fell short of the pennant.

BG, I think you've nailed it. I've been trying all season to put my finger on what's been missing, and that's exactly it. There is no sass at all in this clubhouse any more.

But please. Please. Do not speak of Eddie G. I'm still woozy from the 2002 playoffs.

but, but, but Little Nicky Punto does handstands at second base and headfirst slides into first and he hops around the dugout before the game like an ADD boy and spazzes out at opposing pitchers after they go butt hunting and he's a tiny superhero! I'll give ya all the other guys, but Nicky's got himself the sass!

I am quite frightened of Bobby Kielty's psycho Ronald McDonald hair - EKE!!

Yeah what Kafumbly said about Little Nicky Punto - at least he's not scared of getting his uniform dirty =)

Well - the other day when Justin was tagged out at second my sister did see him say to the ump 'You're kidding me' - so he does speak just not so much

Maybe Joe really is just that 'angelic' -

I think Brad really tried to help the other night when he got fired up in the dugout - perhaps it was his version of the Koskie Chair Smash??? Maybe the team was so surprised at the Rad Rage they didn't get it???

I don't know - I'm hungry - I have to find breakfast =)

Have a good day all

Much Love
Wonder Woman

I don't know. I mean, yes, we're definitely dropping in the sass department, but I don't think we've exactly gone white bread yet.

Notable recent moments of sass:
-Bradke b*tching out the ump.
-Naked Batting Practices.
-Johan and Carlos trying to smoke the bad spirits away with fine cigars.
-Gardy's Wendelbunny rant.

Sure, no peanut butter in the underwear, but I don't think the spirit of the Twins has laid down and died yet, is all I'm sayin'.

And Lewwww's been suspiciously quiet these days. No ironing his shirt while wearing it or anything. I think the boys didn't realize that the sass-quotient was desirable!

Yes, Batgirl, this is a problem TR must address!

Batgirl,
Please don't forget! The night Gardy got kicked out for arguing Mauer's high strike call, it was Joe who said "god d***" as he walked back to the dugout. I'm sure it shocked Gardy enough to get him out of the dugout to fight his case. "Well, if you made Joe SWEAR...it MUST have been high!" So Joe can be sassy if he wants to!

Perhaps the Twins need to add a sassing coach to their staff. And I know just the person to fill the position.

When Torii tries to shake things up, some people complain!

Our boys really need to kick in the sass over the next few games.

P.S. I was in Texas last weekend (great ballpark!)and saw Bobby Kielty play a little. He's hitting pretty well, with 43 RBI in semi-regular duty. His hair is as red as ever!

Dear Misters Steve and Wig,

You are right. That was a serious omission, and BG apologizes.

Regretfully,
BG

Bobby Kielty scares me.

Bobby Kielty looks like an overgrown leprechaun.

Bobby Kielty looks like Banshee from the old X-Men.

Bobby Kielty looks like Carrot Top, only not near as scary.

I had to look twice wondering why carrot top was in this edition of bat-girl. hehe, maybe HE could ad some sass to the bench!

NOOOOOOO!!!

Mic, do you realize what you're saying?! gosh, I'd never be able to attend a Twins game as long as Carrot Top were there. ish!

I was assuming that that was a doctored picture of Kielty. Does he really look like that?!

At least we have Gardy. After his outburst, he's in the top tier of sassy managers.

Dear Mr. Nick,

True 'Dat.

Agreeably,
BG

Nick-
That picture was also posted on ESPN's Page Two a while back. I'm afraid it's for real.

Dear Bat-girl

Since you feel your beloved Twins are lacking sass, and since your beloved Twins also just happen to be in the Boogie Down for the next 3 days, I would like to help you and your team's lack of sass by giving Kevin "Full of Sass" Brown. We don't even want anything in return.

Enjoy !

Love you always
mike.

p.s. We also might be willing to trade Bernie Williams (he plays jazz, you know, nothing says sass like a sax, just ask Bill Clinton) for Torii "ho hum" Hunter. Just think about it.

Mike,

Uh, nice try but nobody better even look in Torii Hunter's direction. I've been put on strict orders to break dialing fingers of people who call TR looking for Sweetcheeks.

Love,
HooliganKat

I have to say, I think that Alfonso Soriano would add lots and lots of sass. He's got the high socks. He's got the Dougie Baseball stickiness. He's can rake, run and make some sick defense plays. And he's a right handed bat that we can hit third (or leadoff) and he doesn't have the infatuation with ass-bats that most of the Twins do.

Are ass-bats addictive? Do we need to build some sort of ass-bat rehab center for our guys? Is ass-batting an illness, or a lifestyle choice?

Check this link out (click name)

I haven't heard of this guy that the Rangers want from the Mets for Soriano. Can't take time to check either.

Anybody else out there wanna take a look, see who it is. Perhaps compare him to what we'd possibly have available (Lohse, Mays, Romero, Cuddyer, Rivas...)

I forgot you need to register for NYPost. HEre's the jist.

"The Post's Mark Hale reports that the Mets may not trade for Alfonso Soriano unless the Rangers lower their asking price. The Rangers are rumored to be seeking Jose Reyes in return for Soriano."

Jose Reyes...he's a pitcher right?

Reyes is a SS.He is 22 or 23 yo, fast and might be an All-star for many years to come. If I was the Mets I wouldn't trade Reyes for Soriano.

This kid is the goods.

I disagree with my Yankee-loving friend.

I would make that trade. Soriano IS an all-star, with nothing more to prove...also, he's played in New York, and wants to be back there. Reyes, while showing flashes of brilliance, only has shown flashes, and has had the injury bug as well.

If it's straight up, I make that trade (though it was more of a no-brainer when they were both 2Bs).

Opinioningly,
YankeeFan

About ass bats as an addiction, there is hope. At hazelden.org, a search on 'ass' 'bat' returns two results. One from the sucking years and one from 2002.

TR, get a sass bat, call Hazelden, and order up some clown shoes filled with peanut butter.

- jekyll
Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

Frightwig, yes, you are correct, however, Boone was nowhere -- NOWHERE! .095/.136/.095 -- to be found against Cleveland, thus, silencing him and his leadership* for the Yankees series.

*Boone's bat may have been there against the Yanks but his leadership most definitely was not. Takes him several games to get his confidence back to a level where he clowns around some. And in postgame interviews it showed. He was both very quiet and depressed. Just when things were turning around (see game 3), he goes out with an ass bat, batting .143 in games 4 and 5. And let's not even mention how Boone defers to other leaders on a team, which in Seattle's case was Edgar Martinez, another failed leader of the silent pejority. Nonetheless, the Twins can fully expect Boone's s/assitude to reflect the bat he carries.

Dear Mr. Mike,

I thought you and Ms IC had already arranged Brown for Ponson?

Confused,
BG

Reyes is 22 yo Soriano is 30 yo. Mets aren't winning it all now, but hey it's the Mets not like anyone really cares about them anyway :)

See you in B39 tonight YF.

Dear Batgirl

I thought the O's traded fatboy to the Padres ?

mike.

mike, that deal didn't happen.

Any chance of the Bernie for Torii deal though ?

Dear mike,
Give it up. Sweetcheeks is not for sale.

Mike,

I'm only going to warn you one more time. . .NO, you can't have Torii! Don't look at him, pretend he doesn't even exist.

Love (sort of),
HooliganKat

A couple of games ago Justin showed major sass potential when he donned the children's Mauer jersey give-away for batting practice.

Dear Mr./Ms Fan5,

Excellent point. A step in the right direction!

Yours,
BG

Yes, don't underestimate the sass potential of the young Doctor.

1) He's Canadian
2) He's got a great falsetto
3) Have you seen the smirk? There is something going on up there, and he's clearly holding back

Oh. My. God.

Batgirl, you have had the guts to admit the cold, hard truth. Before the season even began I was troubled that the old team of Mientkiewicz, Koskie, Pierzynski, and Guaradado simply had gallons more character than the team of clean-cut quiet boys Morneau, Cuddyer, Mauer and Nathan. Now, what did we learn from the 2001-04 Twins? Simply this: Talent doesn't win pennants, character does!

The 2005 Twins looked better on paper for sure, so what's the problem? They need some damn character! In particular I point the finger at the icy Morneau, who has a particularly strong refusal to display a fraction of the personality of his predecessor.

Come on boys, start finding -- and then being --yourselves sometime this season and we can begin talking playoffs.

Mike,

Sadly, no. The Padres did not take Ponson thanks to Phil "Jerk" Nevin.

The Brown for Ponson deal is still open. If you break Brown's knee before sending him to us, though, we'll throw in a prospect.

-Carrie

"...he calls Gardy 'Ron.' What am I supposed to do with that?"

A much needed laugh. Sass. Yes, at least we need SASS. Cripes with ass bats and the resulting minimal offense we want our fun. SASS helps.

thanks Bat Girl. I was getting so wrapped up in our
need for the big hitter I forgot the fun part of baseball.

cheers, kal

Dear Carrie

Not for nothing, but if I had the choice of living in San Diego or Baltimore, I'd take SD, and I really like Fells Point, crab cakes and the harbor.

mike

If Phil Nevin thinks Khalil Greene is HALF as cute as I do...I understand his decision to reject the trade offer.

Khalil Greene's hair is almost as bad as Kielty's. And Bobby looks like a scary clown.

I don't know anything about Greene's hair, but I like his glove.

Headed to the game now.

Let's Go Yankees !

On Kielty's hair:

He really started growing it out during spring training. Note Barry Zito's photo of him during that time:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/multimedia/photo_gallery/2005/03/23/gallery.zito/7zito.jpg

Now that photo has some serious SASS!!

Every time he gets a big hit, he goes to the dugout and fluffs up his hair for the cameras. The TV dudes can't get enough of him. He claims two reason for the excessive hairage:

1) He has a wee child at home (less than 1 year?) who recognizes him on the TV broadcasts by his hair. awwwwwww. 2) Some smarty pants at spring training told him that he has a better chance of getting his swing back than he does of becoming Ronald McDonald. Kielty responded that maybe he would just do both. Guys call him Ronnie Mac now.

It just keeps getting bigger. He's been fluffing it up with a brush for maximum... um... fluff.

No one seems to recall that Joe Nathan was the man who engineered the "Barbie Backpack" requirement for the newest bullpen pitcher.

That seems pretty sassy to me.

alas, the Barbie backpack is no more. Shaggy's carrying around a black backpack these days.

and Kielty reminds me a bit of Mike Commodore, from "last season" in the NHL when he let his hair grow out. wow.

I think another petition much like the one WildChild crafted so well that we proposed to Dr. Morneau to keep his curls.

WE, THE UNDERSIGNED, HEREBY PETITION the MINNESOTA TWINS BASEBALL CLUB (hereafter “the Twins”) to undertake the rehabilitation of Sass, establish guidelines for said Sass, and a means of protection of said Sass, pursuant to authority vested in them by Office of the Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

WE STATE OR BELIEVE:
1. That said Sass is directly linked to Central Division Championships (for exhibits supporting this statement please see Mientkiewicz, D., Pierzynski, A.J. and Koskie, C.)
2. Said Sass must be displayed at all times, including, but not limited to: clubhouse, on-field, off-field, player appearances, charity events and that Sass must be used to the fullest extent against the White Sox of Chicago, the Yankees of New York and the Indians of Cleveland.
3. Acceptable forms of Sass include, but are not limited to: peanut butter in underwear, chair breaking, naked batting practice, Barbie backpacks, bubble blowing, sassing of batters and swirlies.
2. The Twins agree that in the event of a loss, Sass will endure.
4. That should "the Twins" require assistance in maintaining the required level of Sass, our sassful leader, Batgirl and her team will be dispatched at all costs, which are to be incurred by "the Twins".

Sorry that should be 4. and 5. after 3.

I sign HooliganKat's letter.

And BG's, for that matter.

where do i sign?!

Oh dear - my sister just told me that DJ Cuddles -proposed to his girlfriend Claudia yesterday - and she said yes=)
She also said that Matthew helped with the engagement surprise=)
Congrats!!!!!

Sorry to get off topic - just thought you might want to know

Much Love
Wonder Woman

What can I offer in trade to get Khalil Greene to come back to the Beavers? Portland desperately needs him!!!

For anyone with a *cough* wagering nature, I suggest NOT betting on the Padres anytime in the next, say, three years or so, based on their current performance (well, lack thereof) in the minor league system.

That said, I think I'm gonna go to a Beavers game tonight to wash the taste of tonight's Twins-Yanks game out of my mouth.

Mets' GM said there are three untouchables as far as trades earlier this year -- Wright (3B), Diaz (minor league OF) and Reyes. That's on a list that doesn't include Pedro or Beltran.

Reyes is in the NL Top 10 for stolen bases, triples and hits. They are basically building the line-up around his speed.

Translation: He's not going anywhere.

Earlier this week the talk was that the Mets might deal reliever/starter Aaron Heilman and starter Victor Zambrano. They also have a gaggle of 2B (Cairo, Anderson, Matsui), though none of Soriano's quality.

Not sure why the Rangers would do this trade. For that matter, not sure why the Mets would do this trade. If you can't beat Colorado on the road, you're not a playoff team...

i think the good doctor just needs to come out of his shell. He has potientialto become very sassy. Mostly because he is Canadain and if anyone says anything bad about hockey to his face he will become angry thus creating a loathing feeling towards that person creating sass.

I think we all need to BACK UP OFF the Joe Nathan hating.

Or else... :::makes slashing motion across throat with finger:::

Dearestt Ms Love,

I assure you, there is nothing but love for Mr. Nathan from BG. We had plenty of personality in our closer, and it was very hard on BG and her family. Consistency and competence may be boring, but boring can be quite nice.

Sincerely,
BG