Batling PJStP comes out of lurkerville to remind us of this poem by Rudyard Kipling, another noted Twins fan.
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs
and can only complain and whine;
If you can answer firmly to nay sayers
Yet acknowledge that these are the sucking times.If you can stop yourself from extending current numbers
That would make the Bitch Sox greatest team by far;
While double plays keep coming with bases loaded
And Dan and Gordo cannot name a star.If the Umpire Man is found to be blind and stupid
And bloop singles fall only for the other team;
And you watch the game surrounded by the cheese heads
Yet somehow manage not to make a scene.If your old Boyfriend keeps slugging for the Bad Guys
And Pierzinski is now your personal Big Hurt;
Yet you can smile and say, “look, it’s cousin Charlie!”;
When the postgame highlights feature “Circle Me Bert”If Batgirl leaves for foreign parts unfettered
And the boys take an unprecedented crash;
And the victories keep slipping through your fingers
But you never lose your hope, nor lose your sass;
Then revenge could be yours, but really what’s more
You’ll be a Twins Fan – bet your sweet ass.
AJ is our Anakin Skywalker... here is my own (bad) poem to address the loss of AJ, even though we lost him some time ago:
It's hard to accept,
but accept it we must
For now it's young Mauer
Whose catching we trust.
I love all of these Twins poems, keep em' comin.
Posted by: brent at June 27, 2005 03:02 PMFreakily enough, the work I'm avoiding today involves 19thC British poetry. Are these cosmic reminders to quit sandbagging? Or just acknowledgments that the Twins and Sass are everywhere and always present?
Posted by: hrunting at June 27, 2005 03:11 PMGreat poem.
I think the local media needs to stop focusing on what Chicago is doing. I'm not conceeding the division, but you can't just deny what Chicago has been doing all year.
They keep saying: "Chicago will falter..." but I'm thinking they're doing what Seattle did four years ago.
The Twins, the fans, the media need to think positively, and focus on cheering the team on through this trouble spot.
We've got a ton of games left with teams in the West and the Red Sox, who will make up the majority of the Wild Card fighters. Get the job done on them, and play Chicago hard when they come.
But don't worry about what Chicago's doing. We have no control over them, we have to focus on the job we need to do. You don't coneed the Division, but don't forget there's still that fourth spot up for grabs.
Posted by: Torhu at June 27, 2005 03:18 PMDear Mr. Torhu,
BG heartily agrees. We just have to do our job.
Sincerely,
BG
D'oh. Don't you hate it when you catch the typo *after* you click POST?!
What I meant was:
Beautifully said.
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at June 27, 2005 03:22 PMOh the poetry - the sass - it's so so so fabulous -
Much love
Wonder Woman - =)
Oh I do expect lots of sass and not ass from Joe Mays this evening - Joe come on over and read the poems - it will move and inspire you =)
For those of us who never really got into the Keats, it is indeed good to have the Kipling to fall back upon.
Posted by: double-a at June 27, 2005 04:17 PMYou can have your Keats and Kipling... Burns is real poetry :)
Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Steinbrenner wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Jet'r!
As I was thinking today--if, over the next 10 games (or any stretch of 10 games before the allstar break) the Bitch Sox were to go 2-8 or 3-7 and the Twins were to post an opposite number (8-2 or 7-3) then all of a sudden it's only a 4 or 5 game lead for the Bitch Sox, and the Twins can make that up in the second half. It can be done.
Posted by: TBird41 at June 27, 2005 04:42 PMWell done, PJStP, though I'm much more partial to Keats than Kipling. Sass rules!
Posted by: mjm at June 27, 2005 05:18 PMWow. Well done!
Posted by: Jeb at June 27, 2005 05:34 PMMike -
What would she do with a Jeter if she got one? ;-)
Posted by: heraldguy at June 27, 2005 06:19 PMI must respond because as a long time Twins fan, I have a special place in my heart for the usually over-used closer who often showed signs of brilliance:
There once was a guy named Ron Davis
Who Twins fans all hoped might just save us
But even the Big Guy With Glasses
Could not save those Twins' asses
You can't go to the well too many times
In fact, I'm sure I recall Joe Angel saying that last line many times
Posted by: PJStP at June 27, 2005 06:29 PM
Batgirl gets Keats,
The "Umpire Man" gets Kipling,
RD gets a limerick with a twist of Angel.
Oh, the pain. :)
Posted by: RonDavis at June 27, 2005 06:49 PMThat was the most moving thing I've ever read.
Posted by: Meghan at June 27, 2005 09:07 PM