If anyone's looking for a way to lift their spirits --

It is impossible to be even a little bit sad if you choose "Ballroom Blitz" as your pre-Twins-game listening experience.

CarrieIC,

Just thinking about it brgins a smile to my face.

MK

"We always try to entertain ourselves and our dugout."

Gotta love Gardy :)

okay, I really hate the finger waggling by Fruity Marshmallow Krispies.

Woohoo! Get to follow the game tonight! So... who looked good/bad last night?

Based on the small sample size thus far, it appears Silva's sinker is sinking much better than last time. And that's a VERY good thing. :-)

Ok, maybe it's too early to tell.

oh, that was a very pretty top o' the first.

I really liked that.

*sigh*

That's what I like to see, Jackal.

yahoo Shannon!!! woooo! a hit!

Stewie!

I tell you, that man knows how to get things started.

c'mon, LNP...

Thattaway to start the game.

LNP!!! yay!

Yay! LNP!

Oh, this is shaping up to be a pretty, pretty inning.

I'm happy to finally get to follow a game again myself - Ryan and I must be on the same schedule.

I really have to say I like how our lineup looks now and some nice flexibility on the bench.

LI'L NICKY!!!

ah... there are moments of pleasure in a girls day.

c'mon, Chairman...

What the jeebus is our second baseman doing batting second? That's where the shortstop hits!

But I like it...

ooh, that's the second one. he better not hit the Chairman, or he'll have Little Nicky Punto: Tiny Superhero to deal with.

I like it when things like this happen while I'm actually following the game.

MILLWOOD IS AIMING FOR MAUER'S KNEE. GRRRRR!!!!

KICK ASS!!!

this is SOOOO pretty...

It's MORNEAU! DUCK!

oh.. Doctor... make me happy, please...

Uhoh. Loaded bases.

Of course, if it has to happen to anyone, it should happen to the Doctor...

And, at least, we don't have any outs...

Bases juiced for Morneau. I think this will end better than it did when bases were juiced for, you know, Cuddy, while the Doc was on the DL

Wasted bases loaded? Please - no more, Morneau.

the way this guy is aiming for hitters, you are so right, Batgirl...

You can only go up from a .161 team BA, can't you?

shwa? Justin... geez...

blech.

Aw. Doctor.

That looked inside to me... let's go, Sweetcheeks48!

uh-oh... it's DP Hunter.

Let's go Torii!

ARGH

dude... it's OKAY if you don't get a grand slam. you can single, too, and that would be okay.

*sigh*

okay, Jacques, don't let us down...

This would be an excellent time for Sweetcheeks to redeem himself, by the way...

And he doesn't. Honestly, guys!

Still one out left. Boyfriend, be the hero of this inning.

why don't we bunt anymore?

ha... I'm too used to jacques Lemaire.

of course, I meant Jacque.

Wow. That was a truly pathetic display by the 4-6 guys.

Torii-how LeCroy-like of you!!

ARGH!

I swear, this failing to capitalize on BASES LOADED WITH NO OUTS is going to kill me before the season is over.

I went from being really excited to feeling really depressed very quickly there.

Looks like the real JJ has stood up.

It's really pretty hard not to score in that situation without even hitting into a DP. Sigh.

One would think Gardy might try some of the small ball that has won them the last three division titles...

"Looks like the real JJ has stood up."

You mean sat down. :-(

Now you know how I felt yesterday, Carrie :-)

This sucks.

True. Yesterday I was busy watching the O's tender, sensitive, head-case-y starter give the eight innings of his career to date and receive absolutely no run support. It hurt plenty.

Kinda like that double.

no, we're gonna come back. I can feel it.

(I hope it's not just gas)

I don't think I've ever seen a ball bounce that far off the Baggie.

someone looking for the old suicide squeeze with morneau?

*smacks head against floor*

CarrieIC,

Don't hurt yourself, please. We can still come back.

MK

Yeah, I'm not sure what small ball would've been appropriate there. If it were, say, LNP, I could see that. Then again, I'd rather have LNP up there with the bases loaded more than anyone right now except Mauer.

Everytime they say Grady Sizemore, I keep thinking Grady Little, and wonder what they've got an old coach doing at the plate.

I might be alone in that.

Not Casey Blake. Anyone on the Indians but Casey Blake. Please don't let that happen again.

GIDP would be just lovely right now.

(Debbil Rays 6, Yanks 2.)

It was a gentle smack.

This is awful.

I bet I know why this is happening with the bases loaded. In spring training, the Twins loaded the bases. Then an old man with a goat showed up in the on deck circle. He said, "Gardy! Let my goat bat!" And the voice from on high returned, "
Huh? He's a goat!" And the old man said, "Then until you let my goat bat with the bases loaded, I will curse you! Thou shalt sucketh whence thine hath loaded them durn bases!"

And that goat's name? Justin Morneau.

Tonight was his first at-bat this season with the bases loaded. After tonight, when the old man reads the box score, all will be right with the world.

Yay for GIDP, when it's not us.

QJW, yay! Yankees losing to crappy teams - well, to any teams at all, for that matter - really makes me happy.

and a beautiful double play! hooray!

CarrieIC,

Those gentle smacks can add up, you know.

Woo,

I like that explanation.

MK

woo, you're funny.
Despite giving up a run, Carlos got me my Inning-ending dp. That's what I live for when the Twins are pitching.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Now for obligatory LLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....

Great! Let's load the bases again!

MK -- it's okay, I'm a college dropout who works for a government contracter. There's nothing up there to wound.

LEEWWW!!! Okay, it was a tiny hit, but a hit's a hit, and we must encourage our tender boys.

C'mon, newly reinvigorated Cuddy.

That would have been a more gramtically correct sentence, but it was merely a single.

Attaway, Cuddy!

To avoid the same situation as last inning, Castro needs to bunt here.

Yay loaded bases with no outs. *weeps*

Crap! The Indians couldn't even make the play.

uh-oh... concentrate, Stewie. you can get a hit with the bases loaded.

Should have clarified it's Debbil Rays 6, Yanks 2 after four.

Hmmm, bases loaded and nobody out. NO deja vu all over again, k?

But this time it'll REALLY work!

Now *that's* the small ball we were looking for.

Who here's got the psychic connection to Gardy?

Something's gonna have to happen here or we will all have to smack our heads against the floor! Don't make us do it, boys!

Here we go...

are you sure, Bullwinkle?

"Who here's got the psychic connection to Gardy?"

My money's on Tumbleweed. Who's our new starting second baseman?

Sweet Jesus, Shannon. UGH.

AAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHH

no no no no no no no no

Suicide squeeze?

Gameday just froze on me. Please tell me that wasn't a triple play...

Nick! you got your wish. LNP with the bases loaded.

No, Stewie struckout

Nope, just a really ugly strikeout.

How the hell can we get all these players on with no outs against Dillwood and NOT get anything from it?

I feel good about LPN in this at bat, i call a shot up the middle

3-0 to Punto with 1 out

kafumbly,

aaaand, PRESTO! *growl*

Okay, that's the last time I'm doing that on a game thread...

MK

Just don't GIDP, please o please o please LNP...

In other news, Castro's bunt has killed GameChannel.

LNP's my man with the bases loaded, kafumbly!

yay, groundout and a run

A RUN!!! LNP came through!

*whew*

Yay LNP! Sacrificing yourself for the good of the team!

Sadly, I see that as a victory. And the bases aren't loaded now, so maybe something good will happen.

LNP!

Who's your boyfriend?

Heart racing-I am amazed there was no GIDP!! Nice on LNP!

I told you guys, we're not going to get good with the old man until he learns that the Good Doctor, aka The Goat, had his at bat.

Hopefully, he'll check out gamecast soon.

Wow. I should really be studying for finals right now, instead of watching the Twins play and talking about a goat.

Well, we tied it up. So we actually scored on bases loaded. I'm pretty sure it was a victory.

It's like a curse. Even when we aren't trying to load the bases, it just happens.

So Captain Cheeseburger Slobathia's pitching tomorrow? Blech.

We've scored. We've broken the seal. It's all downhill from here if you have an insensitive nickname and mascot.

Don't leave, Woo. The fact that I should be studying very rarely stops me from watching the Twins. :-)

Woo, I am enjoying the talk of the goat. I gleefully await the return of the good bats for the WHOLE team now that the goat has had his at-bat with bases loaded.

and that guy had THE WORST facial ever EVER. yuck.

CarrieIC,

A small victory. Hopefully it'll add up to the big victory at the end of the game...

MK

Well, I should be studying for Sports Law...this counts, right?

Hey, KC's up! And it's now 8-2 for the Devil Rays. Not that we want them to be good when we get there (and I doubt they will be), but it's a nice feeling anyhow.

Fly outs make me happy. Go Jackal.

Does anybody know the stat? How many times HAVE the Twins had bases loaded and not scored this year?

This absolutely counts, Woo. It sounds like you're a law student, like me! Where do you go to school?

Also, has Silva always had this hitch in his windup?

Alex... trust me, you don't want to know.

I am a law student. Don't hate me - but I'm at Duke. I know, I know...Duke basketball, whatever. But I'm a Twins fan too! That totally cancels it out, right?

As far as bases loaded: bookmark this -
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/teams/batting?team=min&season=2005&split=94&seasonType=2&type=reg

"Does anybody know the stat? How many times HAVE the Twins had bases loaded and not scored this year?"

Excellent point, but I think I would rather not know the answer.

Wow. We're actually doing better than our opponents when the bases are drunk. Thats... reassuring?

Well, woo, Woo!

*looks at Woo's link*

*winces*

DOCTOR!!!! DOCTOR HEAL US!!!

BAM!

why the HELL couldn't he do that last time he was up?

*sigh*

way to go, Doctor! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!

Woo,

As a fellow Triangle resident, I can safely say that I don't care whether you go to Duke, Carolina, or State (or the seminary that sits where Wake used to). Of course, this is because I went to Florida State, but that shouldn't mean anything here.

MK

The Doc delivers! What a cut!

It's great to see the Dr come through, even if a bit late. How long was that one?

By the way, I love Bert Blyleven's self-deprecating humor. This from a guy who should be a hall of famer.

It's all cool, Woo. I'm a U of M law student. And I should be studying for a final tomorrow, but... meh.

WOW! That was a prodigious shot!

How many moose antlers was that shot?

dont feel bad woo, i am currently studying for Civ Pro...yuck

they haven't said yet, AT.

NOW these guys are hitting... you were right, Woo: the good bats are back!

Boyfriend got a base hit!

Yeah, at least three law student posters! Perhaps it just goes to show that the difficulty of law school is overstated. ;)

Ouch! The old Civ Pro. I'm a 3L, graduating in...9 days. And I'll be done by Friday. And who knows, maybe I'll even get to come back to the Twin Cities, and go to a couple of these games! God willing...

That's it. I want to marry that man.

hey! that wasn't GIDP!

DJ Cuddles! you go!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

WOOHOOOOOOO!!!

Informal poll. How many people here are actually in college or are waiting to graduate very soon?
I for one am just waiting for commencement.

congrats...i would find it hard to study if i were that far along...

LEEEEEEWWW!!!!

And all hail the newly awakened bat of Cuddyer! I take it all back, Cuddy!

Such a fabulously Lew-esque "slide"!

Right now, I love Gameday's "in play - run scoring play" declaration...

ooh, did you see Lew's face when he hit the catcher's leg with his shoulder? I think he may not be feeling very well right now. I hope he's not injured.

Dammit, my token Twin on my fantasy team (Cuddyer) always does well when hes not playing... well, I dont play him much, but still.

Hmm, Lew stole my patented softball slide. He and I may have to have a talk about this.

Yes, this is what the Twins need to do!!

I am in college... occasionally. This is one of those not so much periods of time.

I left college a few years ago...

Walka, walka, walka!

Ryan, I graduated from college in December 2000, after 9 1/2 years. hahaha... yes, that's right. but I did take three semesters off, so it really only took me 8 years to graduate. I like too many things and changed my major four or five times. I have 172 credits and only a bachelor's degree. ha

I'm from Bloomington and went to college at St. Olaf, so I have the Minnesota connection pretty well sealed up. So, it won't be hard to readjust to the weather if I end up back in the Twin Cities.

Whee! A walk for Castro! Lovin' it!

man... even Jerry Bell knows we can't seem to get hits when the bases are loaded.. sheesh.

way to go, Stewie! yahoo!

4-1 Twins!

Steeeeeeeewwwwwwwwiiiiiiieeee!!!!!!

For some reason, I almost referred to him as Jerry Ball. But I guess there's a difference.

Again, I'm loving the blue "In play, run-scoring play" circle on Gameday.

Three cheers for three-run innings. Hip-hip-hooray! (x3)

And a toast for many many more!

though i do hate the blue "in play out(s) recorded"

particularly when the double play is possible...too much suspense and possible heartache

why cant they just say outs or out

My 84 year old great uncle got hit with a liner foul in Cleveland a few years ago.

Dick was just saying that the little hesitation in Silva's lineup is new. That's interesting.

Blah. You can click my name for my thoughts on this game so far...sigh.

Nick, there's your answer about Silva's delivery... cool.

You do feel sorry for a guy who hasn't won since last July.

Ryan, I've been trying for eight months to finish my dissertation. Does that count as being a student? I still use my student ID when it means I get things cheaper...

Would it be wrong to ask the state to cough up for only the cost of a retractable roof?

This is a good game. I like this game.

Back to my poll. I just had a theory hat college students had entirely too much time on their hands and could spend time here. That and a lot of us are out of market, and this is the best thing besides being at the game or watching it on the home TV.

Ryan -- Or you can watch it on TV and post here. :-)

QJW -- Wrong, no. Bad politics, yes.

I hate Blake.

*I* don't think so, but it will never happen.

%$@&^%&^$%!!!!!!!!

I wonder how many people in Cleveland are wondering "Aaron f'ing Boone: they got *that* right"?

I'm just saying... I don't get the Twins here unless they are on ESPN or playing the Bitch Sox. So you can see the Gameday stuff, but you get a feel for the game here. Its nice.

All right, let's get a few of those runs back, boys.

I'm glad!

(Jeb, by the way, is 8 months into his dissertation, too.)

I think the next step is wireless internet in the Dome so people can post from the games. :)

in regards for funding for the roof, TCF is kicking in 35M for naming rights for the Gopher stadium. Couldn't we find a sponser with deep pockets (100M deep). They get their name on a ballpark and we get a roof

har har har, Cora! ass glove! ass glove!

base hit for Torii!

Boyfriend, don't you want another RBI or two?

Nick,

You know, I'd be hesitant to bring my laptop to a game. The risk of spills and flying debris (bats and balls) from the field are just too great, depending on where you're sitting.

MK

how 'bout three?

C'mon Lew. Knock 'em in.

Hey, but we're winning right!

It's true, MK. I wouldn't either, even if I had a laptop. But maybe someday there will be a safer way, or we'll just use something smaller than a laptop.

*sigh*

And at least there haven't been any of those nasty GIDPs that's been all the rage lately...

MK--Oh, please, don't tempt fate! For the love of all things baseball, shhhh!

maybe it's just me, but I HATE all the damn corporate names all over everything these days. I tell you, I might almost be willing to support state money for a roof - if there was legislation requiring the name to actually be in some way baseball or historically related.

Of course that will never happen either.

Okay, Jackal, keep it quiet here....

...mmmmph!...

(er, sorry!)

The Jackal had better watch out the way the bats are breaking.

oh, wow... that's really scary, with the bat flying back at Silva. that was about a foot away from hitting him! sheesh!

Legovision Park, Babs. Legovision Park.

Jackal, you stop that, right this minute.

I just turned on gameday -- 11 hits. Yea! Where are all the runs?

Secondly -- Batgirl and twink: it takes some people MUCH longer than eight months to finish dissertating. I will wish you a shorter process. (As, no doubt, will my spouse, who would not wish the long version on anyone.)

And now the man named after cereal...

Ryan, I graduated in December and now spend a lot of time sitting on my ass in between cover letter writing and doing chores around the house to make up for all the chores around I NEVER did during school. Someday, I hope to have a job. In the meantime, I have lots of time to enjoy Twins games and Batgirl's site. I'm broke, but I'm enjoying it!

CapitalBabs, I'm with ya.

NICE play, Doctor!

Now I really want to marry the Doctor. What a Doug-worthy, beautiful out.

That was a very weird half-inning.

Hmmm. Maybe the "Eloise Pohlad Memorial Retractable Roof"? I bet old Carl probably has $100M in the cushions of the sofa.

Yeah. I'll be moving back to Minnesota in a couple weeks too, Pepper, but I'll probably go insane if I don't get a job soon, mostly because my parents are on DIAL-UP. Bane of my existence.

When was the last time Rivas played?

Jlubby -- he played on Sunday.

Carrie.. *grin* that WOULD be baseball related!!

Right?!

pshaw... I don't care that Barry Bonds won't be playing before they come here. Bonds, schmonds. whatever.

Ryan-- oh god, dial up! I feel for you. Congrats on your upcoming grad.

Totally a Jackal inning...put a couple of guys on, but get out of it unscathed. Rinse. Repeat.

Oh, and I guess I wasn't exactly honest. I'm eight months into having absolutely nothing left to my degree _except_ the dissertation. It's been more like eighteen months total.

*sniff* I have dial-up right now. it sucks.

hi y'all,

just wanted to bump the number of law students posting. it seems we've found a good distraction here! i'm a 1L too, should be studying for a con law final tomorrow. ugh.

-alex

That was quiet.

What, we were up?

k.. all you college kids are starting to make me feel old - and I bet I LOOK younger than half of ya.. good grief.

keep 'em on the groud, Silva...

Funny story, Babs. I live in a college town, across the street from a movie theater that serves mostly college students. I still had to show ID before they let me into an R rated movie, and I'm 6'3. I look like I'm 14. I'm hoping that pays off in like, 10 years.

By the way, we might have to send out a search team for all those runners we're leaving stranded.

ok.. I don't think that was what fumbly meant Silva hon.

CapitalBabs,

well, i'm a dinosaur here in law school at the ripe old age of 27, so it wouldn't surprise me if you do look younger.

I looked 26 until I was about 24, and then I looked 18.

now, I fear, I look my age.

D*mn Casey Blake with a runner on.

I got carded at R movies when I was 21... *SIGH* I STILL get carded for alcohol - and that has been legal for more than a decade.

I'm not so sure about Silva's new delivery. if he's not inside, he's letting them hit it in the air.

Speaking of looking their age, based on his picture on GameChannel, I'd say Grady Sizemore was 8 or 9 years old.

I'm with you CapitalBabs. I graduated from law school in 1981 and I have kids in college. I must be old enough to be the mother of most of the people posting here.

And now back to the game - Hafner at third. Things are getting tense again.

I think they might need to be aware that he may not be able to go 100 pitches in his current condition.

*grumble*

*smacks head (gently!) against floor*

@$#^&%$^!!!!! &^#$@%*%#!!!!! Double $#@%^&$!!!

%@$#@Q!$!

At what point do we just start walking Sizemore when he's facing Silva? This is insane.

damn damn damn

CBabs, don't worry. I'm not a young college kid. I'm a wizened and bitter old ABD ph.d. student (but I still get carded for beer too, nearing a decade later).

oh, here comes Banjo Mulholland.

that was %$@#$%@$^@#$% ugly

This is not good at all.

Ugh.

Okay, time to get the Jackal out of there.

Crap

LNP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok.. LNP just earned his BOD

hot damn.

Whoa! LNP! LNP! LNP!

Leave it to LNPTS!

hooray for Little Nicky Punto! awesome play!

Whoa? Details, details!

Yay! Little Nicky comes through! (I know there were other people involved in that play, but I heard "Nick Punto" and I got excited.)

But that was great! Silva, you'll be the death of me.

LNP!

OK boys, that was a good start. Now let's make this half-inning last more than 6 or so pitches this time!!

a SUPER sweet double play mk...

turn around in Punto's glove was like lightening.

But always, always, he ends the scary inning with a double play. Jackal's an ulcer waiting to happen, but you gotta love him for that.

The Jackal, scattering 11 hits. Yeah, let's see if we can warm up the pen.

oh yeah.. Castro and Morneau were in on that play too mk. *GRIN*

Ah. Good thing we have a Tiny Superhero at second tonight...

Aw, LNP.

ok.. speaking of not looking their age:

Anyone notice that the good Dr has the body of a 28 yo and the face of a 14 yo?!?!?!

Seriously, let's get our halves of the inning to last longer than two minutes.

****sigh*** Never mind...

so demanding, Carrie - although I will admit that some of Morneau's home runs take longer to come down than that inning took.

Mocifer,

On the plus side, 80's Hair Pitcher did throw 11 pitches. Not that it makes much difference, but still...

MK

Uh, not that I don't love him, but why is Silva still in the game?

nice job, DJ Cuddles!

I think Saurbeck wrestled in the late 90's under the name "Middle Relief".

Apperantly, that's why.

*eats words*

nice job Cuddy & Silva!

Nice smirk Joe

CarrieIC,

Perhaps he bet Gardy he could finish an inning in five pitches or less?

MK

Wow, that was like a Twins inning. Really glad to be home where there is no threat of Lee Greenwood. Does anyone know when that crap came back?

Well, April wasn't dimples' month, but perhaps he's turned a corner (and lying there, around the corner, were the real bat and real glove he needed to replace the ass-equipment).

That was quick too. We'll be in the 13th inning in a half an hour.

Never mind, since betting is baseball's Cardinal Sin...

MK,
I do hair, and was just having a conversation with a coworker about eighties baseball player hair. I say let's bring it back, with the big ol' Magnum P.I. 'staches too!

Actually, Silva finally ended that pretty well. Going 7 full innings really is an mark they have been trying to get to with the starters.

It is just going to be really hard to get used to a different response from the batters because Silva pitches differently now. I don't think we will see nearly as many grounders out of him as we did before. He will eventually work out a new placement and make the adjustments. The only way to do that is to pitch - and Gardy does seem to like to stretch them further than we ever feel comfortable with.

Sheesh

ow

CB -- do you think it's that big a change for Silva? Dick and Bert said he probably just changed it in a bullpen session or two to keep some of the pressure off his knee.

c'mon, Lewfah!

it looks awfully different to me. I'm not expert and certainly no pitcher but the delivery has a different rhythmn than I remember - and the result I think kind of speaks for itself.

Let's put away the ass-bats. Geez, guys!

*sigh*

Well, at least we're not stranding runners anymore...

More Jackal?

82 pitches for the jackel, wow

Ah, Blake got out becuase there was nobody on base.

Sizemore is beginning to get on my nerves.

oh, LNP, don't scare me like that!

Good Christ. 9-10. Unbelievable. Like I said, when do you start walking him?

Nice play, Doctor! Not a bad outing from the Jackal. Now we need to put away the ass-bats and get him a W!

great dig Dr!

Can I just say that Morneau is far better than advertised at first base?

Eight full for the Jackal, not bad. Now score some runs, so the Count can finish this game!

I am old enough to be the grandmother of most of you, but, I am definitely not. Al

Bloody hell.

Oy.

Sheesh. I can feel the breeze out here in North Carolina, which is impressive from an indoor stadium...

Good J.C.

Do you think Jhonny Peralta spells his name like that on purpose? Or was it misspelled on his birth certificate, like Oprah?

hey... did I just see Terry Tiffee in the hallway next to the dugout?!

or favre

Mocifer,

Either way, it's not as bad as Chone.

MK

IT IS! IT IS TERRY TIFFEE!!!

HE'S HERE!

Uh-oh, the Offensive Cartoons have the Michelin Mummy warming up in the bullpen.

BAD J.C.!

send silva back in

SON OF A SELIG!!!!! Does anyone remember when this game was fun?

Freaking Romero.

That bites...

oh, JC...

Julius Christopher... why?

what the heck does JC stand for, anyway?

Yeah, I think I'd know it if you were my grandmother, Al, so your news is not surprising.

;-)

JC=Just Crap

Juan Carlos if I remember correctly

kafumbly - it stands for what we all yell when he blows a tight game.

he's not reading his hat again tonight.

Welcome back TT!!! Make yourself at home!

Touche, MK.

y'know, I could do without a close-up of that zit in front of his ear.

kafumbly,

You know, he might be distracting himself by reading his hat during the pitch.

MK

Well, that was weird...Good JC came back! Usually any hint of bad JC and good JC runs and hides.

Maybe someone told JC it read, "DON'T WALK GUYS" so he decided to juice one down the middle for Bard.

god, you guys were right.

Wickman DOES kind of look like Matty.

Bob Wickman is waaay too big to be any kind of professsional athlete.

Josh Freaking Bard. Dammit.

Let's go, LNP!

This matchup might be the biggest size disparity in baseball history: Wickman v. LNP.

Whoa.

Here's hoping LNP doesn't get eaten by Wickman.

Well, yesterday we had the fattest combo in MLB history between LeRoy and Wickman, so why not another record tonight?

oh, he did NOT go. BAD UMP.

Nice call. Good Lord, we need something good to happen.

The strike zone is expanding, and an eighth-swing is now too far.

Yikes, not a good end there.

14 Twins in a row set down-why did they get the ass-bats out after we scored?

Here comes the Doc, with a chance to do something very good.

I think it's time to do what I used to do when I was a little kid: swear to the Twins that if they lose this game I won't listen to them again for five, no four, more games. It especially helped if I said it really forcefully.

oh, shit, let's hope Rivas doesn't get picked off...

Speedy Gonzales is back!!

man... Gardy really wants to finish this this inning doesn't he.

All right Rivas, don't screw up like you did last time.

stay on the bag luis

Doc, the upper deck is open for ya.

Rivas is running for Mauer?!?

Do we not remember what happened last time?!?

If Rivas gets picked off here, I will personally kick his ass.

I see the Twins are employing their designated runner-to-be-picked-off.

Wouldn't this be a great moment for a walk-off homer? (Are you listening, Doctor?)

That'll do, darlin'.

If that happens Sara, I'd pay to see that!

Justin is hot!

Nice running Luis

Good good good good...

Torii, remember when you were one of the best clutch hitters in baseball? Remember that time. Remember it good.

Okay Torii, redemption time.

Every time I leave, the Twins fall behind, But every time I come back, the Twins pull ahead

Never fear, for I am back, and the Twins are hitting.

Weak, Torii. Let's go, JJ. Last hope...

Ryan,

We have duct tape, and we aren't afraid to use it...

MK

Stay put, Ryan.

Aw, hell.

Lil' Sweetcheeks, it's all up to you.

ah, Ryan... so in true batling fashion, we can blaim YOU for those hits the Indians pulled off. Always seems to work better for us that way.

Torii...

hrmph.

Torii, it is time to snap out of it. this has gone on long enough. I swear.

I'd do it, Shaun. In a heartbeat.

Damnit. Torii.

Ay-ay-ay, Wickman throws slop.

I am the rented mule.

oh man.. *fell out of chair laughing*

for you guys that don't have Dick & Bert - everyone converges on the mound and Dick says, "now, all they need is a deck of cards."

can't decide whether to giggle or hold my breath.

Go JJ go!

I'm torn. I want JJ to put it over the wall, but then again, I don't want him _trying_ to put it over the wall, succeeding only in striking out swinging on a pitch in the dirt...

I sense another BOD coming for Lew.

Good eye, Jacquey!

Let's go, Lew!!

LET'S GO LEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh no, oh no, oh no... bases loaded... Lew, all you need is a single. a clean, safe hit. that's all.

more of JJ's patience at the plate... goodness.

LEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Lew sweety, May the Force be with you.

Oh, hell. We loaded the bases.

Lew, for the love of God. The old man knows we let his goat bat. Do what you need to do. Please o please o please o for the love of God please...

Let's go Lew. Let's go Lew. Let's go Lew.

...and here comes Lew "Smooooooooooooth as a baby's behind" Ford

another nail biter...

CapitalBabs:

I had the same reaction!

Please Lew please!!!
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW1

Who needs to work out when this gets your heart racing so well?

C'mon guys, let's take care of business.

Lew!!! You know you're my boyfriend! Now prove it!

ass friggin crap

*sniff*

Yeesh, he do like to make it close.

Dammit, I reall thought we were going to make it.

DAMMIT!

I wanna say a bad word that doesn't usually get said on this site.

it's like watching "24"

It's time for a bases loaded exorcism.

Bad Twins. My boyfriend is crying on the floor.

Damn.
It.

Unbelieveable!!!

aw... @#$%@^@#%$@

anyone remember that scene in Star Wars where Skywalker is levitating a bunch of stuff with Yoda on his shoulders - and he loses his concentration and it all falls apart???

I bet Lew knows that scene...

I am very upset. Very, very upset. Three times the bases are loaded, and three times with the ass-bats.

Verrrry, verrry upset.

I hate losing streaks. I hate them, hate them, hate them.

I also hate loading the bases. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I just want to cry. I'm a grown man, and other grown men just make we want to cry.

Seriously, exorcism. We'll set up in Como Park. BG, you bring the ass-bats. I'll bring the holy water. Is there someone here who can bring a priest?

that's pretty crushing, right there. ouch.

Tomorrow.

Honestly, seeing the Twins lose a lot from 1993-2000 wasn't as frustrating as a talented team that chokes with the bases loaded!

man Carrie, cover all the bases and get an Evangelical Fundamentalist too...

My husband just said, "Well, it was a heartbreaker, but still it was a good game." I'm not quite ready to be so reasonable about it. And too many RLOB for me to call it a good game.

I'm with ya Sara. The Twins are either in a winning streak or losing streak this year. There has been no inbetween.

I'll give Jerry Falwell a call. Probably this is all the Teletubbies fault somehow, anyway.

I actually LOVE close baseball games. But that was just too much of a TEASE to load the bases at the end and then not do anything with it!!!!!!

That is just too much strain on the heart.

Great point, Shaun. They barely ever even got our hopes up by loading the bases back then.

So that's 0-6 tonight with the bases loaded, if I'm not mistaken. You just couldn't do much worse if you tried.

Carrie, I almost qualify as a priest, but I can't make it to St. Paul until next Thursday, so maybe we should look at other options. Besides, I'm much better at blessings than exorcisms anyway. Oh well.

I have a friend who's giving me a vampire-hunting kit for my wedding. Probably that'll be useful. AT, maybe you can bless the bats?

[Deleted by BG. Maybe you guys should try to get to .500 before you gloat?]

TF: As Homestar Runner would say, "Baleeted!"

too funny AT - part of me really wants to ask what exactly it is that makes you almost qualify as a priest but - I think that might be more personal an answer than I feel comfortable getting from you!!

Rest easy in the fact that they can apparently use all the blessings they can get as well.

Shaun -- we are possibly the streakiest team in history. When we're winning, we can't lose. And when we're losing, well...

And, of course, this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the OTHER stuff going on.

Tribe fan-um, the season series is only 3-2 Cleveland. Take it easy!

tribe fan: a lot more

Hey Nick, did you see the "Answering Machine" that they just posted? If you have you'll appreciate this

You're ugly, Tribe Fan, this is Ryan, and you're ugly.

Love that site.

Not as much as this one.

Or mine.

Good one, Ryan! I heart H*R. But not quite as much as Batgirl, of course.

Babs, the PG version: I will be ordained, but not called a "priest" (except in Sweden).

AT

Tribe fan--When you three-peat. Twice. Maybe more.

OK.. I was just fine until the Sweden part and then I fell out of the chair laughing again.

At least you guys know how to keep a girl in good spirits even after a game like that.

Sara, I totally agree. Here is how I sum up the 2005 Twins so far:

1. Either they are on a winning streak or losing streak. No inbetween.

2. Give up leads too early too much.

3. Blow leads and lose games too much/

4. Need to learn to not load the bases.

Hopefully, this gets sorted out and Mr. Tiffee can be of great service.

I've been very clear - old man. Goat. Wait until tomorrow, and we'll be all good with the bases loaded. Yay!

Yeah, Babs, Sweden is always good for a laugh, and is as passable a consolation as can be found after a Twins loss.

And the Swedes have IKEA, and soon will be bringing an H&M to big mall, I hear? Hey, maybe if we do the exorcism at IKEA, I am eligible! I'll look into it.

I keep saying that the based-loaded badness isn't all terrible because at least we're getting guys on base -- and the "getting them home" part will come as the season goes. But it's starting to just make me mad. I mean guys, come on!

I wish the Twins could get that "professional hitter" who can knock in these runs with ducks on the pond in the middle of the order. Its early, so I hope they do learn how to get the RBIs.

BG is half-considering stealing all this for her entry. Maybe more than half.

BG, how can you steal from yourself and your own site? I mean, when kids eat ice cream cones on my lawn, they're MY ice cream cones, so give 'em here RIGHT NOW, and I think this ought to function similarly, right?

Whoa, the twins have gone from one of the most clutch teams in baseball to one of the least. Hopefully they'll improve and make a battle out of the division

AL Central Pride

Dear Mocifer,

As a Sox fan I hate to raise this, but what were the Racist Cartoons doing in relation to the rest of the AL Central in 1995, 1996, 1997, 1998 and 1999?

-Shoeless Joe

Don't worry SoxFan they will. See you in August.

you go, Batgirl. I love the goat.

BG, now I almost expect to see green cottage cheese spewing everywhere and head's turning all the way around.

Oh wait.. that was that last inning.. never mind.

I think we have that, Shaun, in both the Chairman and the Doctor. It's just that our timing is off. Morneau's hitting his home runs. He just forgets to wait and hit them when one or two (or even three!) are on base.

Batgirl, AT is right. What's ours is yours. Especially the stuff about AT and Sweden.

I agree Sara, but for the most part it seems the based aren't loaded for them :(

So true, Shaun. So sadly true.

And I can't believe Sox fans are posting here after a Twins loss. C'mon, guys, let us mourn in peace.

I must admit, AT and the whole Swedish thing is a little beyond me. It's like a riddle. "He's ordained but not a priest..."

except in Sweden..

my sweetie is out of town for work and I am home alone (ok my dog was sharing the sofa with me). I am so grateful for this site to be able to share joy or frustration with Twins supporters and, of course, with you Bat-Girl. I am not a regular blogger nor a regular contributor to BG but I am real glad you are here tonight. I snapped off the tv and stomped around the living room a bit and then i remembered BAT GIRL! Many of you said already what I would say about tonight (and last night). I was at that miserable game Tuesday night. Of course it wasn't all LeCroy's fault because the boys did not connect the dots on a number of scoring chances through out that night. But to do it again tonight??? I suggest to the Twins that they burn all of those, what do you call them? ASS BATS.
Burn them. Start fresh. And don't try so hard up at the plate.

And another thing: I am glad that Tippee is back.
I hope he brought fresh bats.

Sox fans can't go out in Chicago-the bars are filled with Cubs fans.

SaraZ - Actually, these Sox fans are relatively decent chaps. They're like unicorns, you hear about them, but you never think you're actually ever going to see them. Yet here they are!

Shoeless Joe, SemiEvilSoxFan, Kojak, and Ilk... unicorns all! ;-)

I know, I know. It's just that when we lose, I get very distraught, and I don't want to hear anything that even remotely approaches taunting -- even from the "good" Sox fans. :)

I want to mourn with my fellow Batlings. I DON'T want to hear how we're not clutch.

Totally fair.

Shoeless Joe,

Oops, my bad. Guess I was in a bit of a coma during that time. It just seems like so, so long ago! Believe it or not, during those years this Twins fan was relocating to Minneapolis from the Cleveland area!! Shame on me!

Skorch, that is a great line. Unicorns! No wonder ESPAM won't give us props.

And SaraZ I can totally relate. I have tried to be supportive but if my presence here during the dreaded L's is deemed obtrusive, then I can definitely become scarce without prejudice. ;-)