Something wonderful happened in the 8th inning of today's game against the Royals—and, no, I do not mean the DQ run that Goober made for the benefit of all in the BatQuarters, though that was pretty nice, too. Yes, there is nothing like a good DQ Blizzard, a small with Snickers and Oreos, to take the edge off. In fact, Batgirl recommends that every Batling go out and get a DQ Blizzard right now, in fact get one for your whole office, and when you go tell them Batgirl sent you, and then maybe they'll send her some freakin' coupons. I mean here Batgirl is plugging fine quality Cambria countertops and Gutter Helmets and Snapper Lawn Mowers and Kitty Blackhead-Be-Gone Topical Cream 'til the cows come home, and does she get any freakin' swag? No. Where's my damn swag? All these Twins games are are one big promotional opportunity after another what with the Just For Men Rejuvenating Play and the Chrysler Keys to the Game and the Land O' Lakes Bonehead Play of the Game and the Huggies Ass-Swing of the Day, so why not Batgirl? I ask you? Just write me at PimpYourStuff@Bat-girl.com and send me some free crap and then I'll make official Batgirl sponsorships...like no one's sponsored the BOD yet or Batgirl's Foulmouthed Rant of the Day or the Random Bitch Sox Swipe of the Game. I'm totally open. As long as you send me shit.
But I digress. Something wonderful happened in the 8th inning of tonight's game, and no it wasn't the delicious take-out sushi from Origami West that Goober got us. (Have you tried their G-roll? My god, it's like you've died and gone to heaven, and who knew heaven was so full of raw fish? Batgirl's totally been a vegetarian since Kent Hrbek was skinny, but she makes an exception for sushi because it's so delicious and she is here to tell you right now that nowhere is it more delicious than at Origami. The problem is, it's so damn expensive, and the Batkitties do like their spicy tuna rolls. So she needs coupons. Coupons, people!)
Okay, anyway, something wonderful happened in the 8th inning of tonight's game and it had nothing to do with any product placement whatsoever. Mike "Please Stop That You're Scaring Me" MacDougal walked Jacque Jones –and no, that wasn't the wonderful thing, because we're totally used to that by now and I mean, ho-hum, jeez Jacque why don't you strike out once in a while, eh? Once a game maybe (it can be the Free Spalon Massage Li'l Sweetcheeks Strikeout of the Game, and I'll work out the details. K?) And then Big LeRoy forced Li'l Sweetcheeks over (and might I add that BatMom could have made it to first on his grounder crawling, and BatMom is quite athletic but her crawling is totally subpar, so that would be the Starbucks Liqueur Big LeRoy Is Slower Than A Drunk Slug Play of the Game) and there was nothing really wonderful about that either. But the wonderful thing, my dears, was the next batter, one Michael Cuddyer who effected the Science Diet Oral Care (Batkitty #2 has dental problems and they are expensive) Wonderful Thing of the Game. Yes, my friends, DJ Cuddles got a base hit.
And then, do you know what happened? DJ Cuddles smiled. It was the (Insert Name of Whichever Dentist Will Give Batgirl and Jeb a free check-up or maybe some dental insurance for the love of god) Smile of the Game, and it was a beautiful one. It was bigger than the smiles of Little Nicky Punto, Shannon Stewart, and Jason Bartlett when they combined for two runs with two outs in the third, bigger than Big LeRoy's smile when he hit a two-run blast in the fourth (when you hit a homer, see, you don't have to run so fast. It's all good.) It was bigger than Joe Mays' smile after pitching five strong innings and bigger even than his frown after giving up an RBI double and a two-run dinger in the sixth. And when the Twins rallied in the 7th thanks to a bases loaded triple by Jason Bartlett, there were smiles all around, oh yes, but no, not as big as Cuddy's.
For DJ Cuddles, not to put too fine of a point on it, has been sucking it up big, bigger than one of those Roomba vacuums Batgirl's heard so much about, but without quite as much range. And this sucking has not been as hard on anyone in TwinsLand as it has on the good DJ himself, and his sweet little dimples have been looking awfully flaccid lately. And sucking, as we all know, perpetuates more sucking, (that's the iTunes Truism of the Chino Latino Game Recap) and once you ground into a double play with the bases loaded three or four times, it's hard to come back from that.
In fact, big smiles could be seen all around the Twins' dugout tonight as the Twins remembered what it was like to hit with runners in scoring position, what it was like to score runs for your pitchers, what it was like to have big late inning rallies and victories over the freakin' Royals that are more than one run. And you know what it's like? It ROCKS.
Surely, it can't have hurt that the Bitch Sox lost their second game in a row today—and now, Batgirl is totally against scoreboard watching until after the All-Star Break and she cares not a whit for standings until then, but for the last ten days much of Bitch Sox Nation has been irritating the crap out of Batgirl, more than even the Mac G5 Desktop Good-Hearted Representatives of same can compensate for, so there was a great pleasure in loading up the MLB TV highlights (not a plug…she actually did) and watching Joe Crede throw his arm in front of a curveball in a critical late-game situation and get called back by the ump to the batters box–and then the Bitch Sox announcers, who Batgirl holds personally responsible for creating the kind of environment that engenders all the hateful e-mail and moronic trolling she has been subject to, start bitching and moaning about how unfair it all is—because, really, people should be ALLOWED to throw their arms in front of curveballs and when they get called back for it and then pop out and throw their bats in irritation, they should NOT be thrown out of the game but rather snuggled for all they've had to bear—and Batgirl can only squeeze herself with glee and say, in the Mini Cooper Convertable Shout to the Heavens, "It's great to be alive."
But it would be better with free crap.
Posted by Batgirl at April 27, 2005 11:47 PMIf you call back crede for moving into the pitch, you gotta call back LeCroy for being in front of the pitch without moving cos he's so gosh-darn big. You know, that's probably why CC Sabathia pitches in the AL: no getting hit by a pitch and then called back to the box cos it was just your shirttail and it should have been tucked in and your belly was pretty much over the plate and your shirttail definitely was.
Posted by: amr at April 28, 2005 12:13 AMI currently live in Chicago, so I understand the hatred of the announcers. I've been able to watch three Twins games while here, and I want to stick knitting needles in my ears every time I hear the Bitch Sox announcer's smarmy "Be gone!" strikeout call. In addition, the "Yooooou caaaaan putitontheboooooooard!" homerun call causes the violence to swell behind my clenched fists, and I often have to turn off the television for a few moments so I will continue to be the mild-mannered Bruce Banner and not transform into the menacing green Incredible Hulk. Can't wait until June so I can get back to watching games on Channel 29...er..MSC..er..Fox Sp...er whatever the hell the name of the channel is now.
Posted by: notmark at April 28, 2005 12:33 AMThey have Mini Cooper convertibles now??!?
Yeah, I liked seeing Cuddy Bear smile. He's helped the team win the last couple games by drawing timely walks, and he finally got a single to drop in the opposite field. I feel the spark of a resurgence, and all the haters will be so totally sorry for doubting.
Little Nicky Punto played like a man who wants Rivas' job and isn't about to take No for an answer, too. Who could have the heart to disappoint him?
Posted by: frightwig at April 28, 2005 12:48 AMI hope that MLB.TV has the Bitch Sox announcers for the next Twins-Bitch tussle.
Wait...Hear me out.
I hope they have those announcers, but only if something like this happens--Kyle's on the mound, bases loaded, 2 outs, Twins up by 2 in a crucial situation, with Crazy Carl Everett at bat.
Wait for it...
Then, as Kyle is wont to do, he grooves a pitch right down the plate and Crazy Carl does what he tends to do against the Twins--hits the ball deep to center going, going---Torii leaps for it as the Hawk goes into "YOU CAAAANNN PUTTTTT ITT OOOO" then, Torii smiles that big smile of his and jogs off the field with the ball safely in his glove as the Bitch Sox announcers fall silent, and all of us get to laugh and smile and high five and stare down at the poor Bitch Sox from the Moral High Ground.
That's what I want to happen. Otherwise, give me Dick and Bert everyday of the week.
Posted by: TBird41 at April 28, 2005 12:56 AMI would gladly sponsor the BOD competition.
I'm sure I could dig up some free stuff for Team Batgirl. *Rummages through closet*
Posted by: Stacy at April 28, 2005 12:59 AMTBird,
Something like this actually happened a couple of years ago. I don't think Crazy Carl was batting, but Hawk started his call prematurely, so what you heard was:
"YOOUU CAN PUTITONTHE..oh no..."
Writing it out doesn't do it justice; it sounded like he was going to get violently sick on the air.
To this date, it ranks as my favorite non-Twins-in-World-Series highlight.
MK
Posted by: mk at April 28, 2005 01:00 AMDear Batgirl--I'm new to the Batcave so it'll be a week or so before I get out of my gushy phase. You are so clever and laugh out loud funny! What a fine counterpoint to the recaps of the straight press and the analyses of twinsgeek! I save you for dessert. Twinsgeek, who used to be dessert, is now palate cleansing sorbet.
Night games in the mid-west are middle-of-the- night games here in Portoroz so the only actuals I get are from MLB highlights. I heard the BitchSox announcers for the first time ever over the Crede at bat. "Ohhh, pooor baabies!" I said aloud. Zvjezdana, my Slovenian wife, overheard and asked what was going on. When was the last time you tried to explain an esoteric baseball episode to someone who knows nothing of the game? It took a half hour, we were both laughing at the end and she left still mystified.
Perhaps it's because of our senior prank (we wrapped an entire classroom in tinfoil) or just pure providence that I thought of it, but shouldn't we call it these the "Reynolds Game Wraps"?
And I posted that in the wrong comments section before... my bad.
Posted by: Ryan at April 28, 2005 02:58 AMWe also [heart] Origami West. Next time have the catarpillar. It's delicious. It's not really made out of catarpillar. But there's also the Teenage Love Roll, which sounds like bad Manga but is mmmmm.... I think we'll have to go this weekend.
Posted by: Kurtis at April 28, 2005 05:47 AMsloveniatom:
I have been reading BG since last year and can honestly say that I have yet to get out of the "gushy phase." She is delicious and nutritious and the best cat writing about bats and balls anywhere.
I've read both her books as well.
I have not joined the baseball book club, so I'm not a full-fledged kitty, I guess. But I read and laugh just the same.
Here's a great pic of LNP after he forget what the L stood for and swung too hard:
http://startribune.com/images/hl/5373200_133531.html
notmark - Hawk's annoying strikeout call is actually "He gone," a grammatically incorrect descriptive; not "Be gone," a pseudo-sorcelrous imperative. But I will now be thinking "Be gone!" whenever I hear Hawk make that call. Wait! I'm pretty sure I thnk "Be gone!" everytime I hear him make any call. But now I will cite you when I think it.
I am so sad that I wasn't watching the game. I guess Cuddy will just have to show me his cute dimples another day when I'm not feeling quite so crappy.
Everyone's comments about the Bitch Sox announcers have reminded me why my family quit watching Bitch Sox games on TV. Even when it was the only game on and my mom desperately wanted her baseball fix. We just couldn't stand the idiots for that long.
Posted by: ndtf at April 28, 2005 08:24 AMndtf - Does your TV have no mute button? Just curious.
I heard the highlight's of Garland's game on MLB.com and now know what "He Gone," sounds like -- I'd seen many references to it. It doesn't bother me that much. Not as good as "Sit down, bitch," but a sports announcer has to have a catch phrase.
Posted by: Kurtis at April 28, 2005 08:28 AMI'm glad my boyfriend's great heroics were noticed by Batgirl (okay, he got a hit!). In fact, the minute he got the hit, I had to e-mail my sister, "MICHAEL GOT A HIT!"
We had been amusing ourselves with "how will he manage to get out this time (or will he walk)?" contests. I felt kinda bad, but it was getting ridiculous!
I wish I could've seen the smile--I only listen to games on the radio and they commented on it!
Just Beth
Posted by: Just Beth at April 28, 2005 08:38 AMnotmark - story of my life. I hate Hawk. I hate "he gone" and the homerun call as well. And I have to suffer through it the few times a year I actually get to see Twins games. Though at a Bitch Sox-Cubs game in which the Cubs hit a home run, I did in fact stand up and yell, "you can put it on the boooooooooard - YES!" much to the consternation of Bitch Sox fans. Which was fun. And spiritually cleansing.
After telling everyone in the entire household how important it was to stop what they were doing any time Mikey got up to bat, and just send him love (and getting outright ridicule in response), my smile was almost as big as Michael's.
Keep feeling the love my boy, feel the love.
Also, how wonderful to watch the boys fet all those two out hits and runs.
Posted by: Sandee at April 28, 2005 08:55 AMBG, thank you for your ridiculously wonderful game recaps. It's balm for the souls of those of us who have been living without seeing the Twins, like my poor, baseball-malnourished self. It takes the sting out of being absent when the long-suffering Cuddyer breaks out of his abysmal slump.
~Carmen
Posted by: Carmen at April 28, 2005 09:59 AMthis is nice:
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/writers/mark_bechtel/04/27/daily.blog/index.html
the #1 worst team to root for? take a gander:
1. The White Sox. (With apologies to SI p.r. guru Art Berke.) Though they haven't won the World Series since 1917 -- a drought almost as long as the Cubs' -- the Sox can't win for losing. The Cubs are lovable, the Sox are overlooked. The Cubs have Wrigley, the Sox have a character-less barn. The Cubs had Harry Caray, the Sox have Ken Harrelson. (He makes the Yankees' Michael Kay look like the picture of dignity and restraint.) "Put it on the boarrrrrrddddd ... YESSSSSSS!" "Grab some bench!" Come on. Every White Sox out is a screamer, every opponent's hit is a bleeder with eyes. Ken, it's not radio. We can see it. And don't get me started on the nicknames. When Sammy Sosa was with the Sox, Harrelson called him "The Panther," for crying out loud. And I don't buy this year's fast start. Their lineup just doesn't seem that good, and Ozzie Guillen looks like he needs to take a deep breath. Mitigating factor: Eight Men Out was a pretty good movie.
Posted by: kafumbly at April 28, 2005 10:00 AMBG,
Are two late-season tickets vs. the Bitch Sox worth a short but vicious polemic on Derek Jeter?
And I'm willing to throw in a pair of Brittany birch knitting needles (size 10.5) for calling into question whether his ancestry is entirely mammalian.
Eagerly,
infield
Infield -- ROTFL.
And I totally second that call. I don't have much to offer, BG, but if you make it to the Yanks-Twins game on Saturday, June 4th, I'll buy you and the BatTeam beers.
Posted by: CarrieIC at April 28, 2005 10:14 AMHere's a suggestion, let's replace Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson's nickname with "The Squawk".
Check out the definition of squawk by clicking on my name.
Posted by: tjacobits at April 28, 2005 10:17 AM
TBird,
You can also recall Tori making two errors costing the twins games already this year (one against the sox)...
Hawk is one of the few announcers left with character and some catch phrases...for that matter I can hardly understand what Minnesotans are saying at any time, eh?
Posted by: southside at April 28, 2005 10:24 AMI enjoy the fact that the Red Sox were able to take 86 years of suffering and turn it into a cottage industry with people from all over (except New York) cheering for them to win a World Series while the Whine Sox who won their last WS in 1917 get no sympathy. Maybe they're being overshadowed by the Cubs (last WS 1908) or maybe no one has thought to come up with The Curse of Kenesaw Mountain Landis or Shoeless Joe.
Speaking of advertising, I think my earliest memories of Twins baseball are tied to Halsey Hall, Hamm's Beer and something called Thunderbird Gasoline.
Come to think of it, TC does have a slight resemblence to the Hamm's Bear...
Posted by: Squiddie at April 28, 2005 10:30 AMI can't believe an umpire actually enforced the rule about trying to avoid getting hit by the pitch. If this becomes a trend it will be seriously bad news for those of us following Craig Biggio's quest to become the all-time hit by pitch leader. Of course Biggio would never cheat like Joe Crede apparently tried to, but the controversy could become costly.
Posted by: pbr at April 28, 2005 10:37 AMDear PimpYourStuff@Bat-girl.com,
DJ has been sucking, but it's quite unfair to compare him to a Roomba. Professionally speaking, a Roomba is the Luis Rivas of vacuums.
Since repairing and selling dirtsuckers is my trade in life, what arrangement can we make in exchange for a sponsorship? I have a nice little hand vac, just perfect for picking up kitty fur and any spilled vowels around your computer. Or maybe scented candles, hand-poured by Country Garden Candles right here in Minnesota, to cover up the stench of Screaming Bitch Hawk (Grandma's Cookies has a particularly soothing aroma, although you wouldn't dare burn one around Leroy)? Or would it take a can or two of Miracle Stain Remover ("Removes over 2000 stains such as blood, grease, coffee, Bitch Sox urine, and pine tar")to be considered for a sponsorship ("Brought to you by Shack Attack, home of the Official Vacuums and cleaning supplies of Bat-girl.com)?
I know...vacuums and stain remover are pretty mundane items. Nothing so satisfying as a DQ Heath Blizzard (the large, as I have to share with Max the Schnauzer), or my patented grilled brats (which I do not share with Max), or a 2005 Mustang convertible. But hey, you work with what you have.
Or I could send the Ass-Sox Announcers from Hell a full dirtbag or two from my workbench, to place in their announcing chairs when they go out to use the bathroom, so no one will notice they're missing. Your choice.
Have your people call my people. We can make this work.
Peace, Shack
Posted by: Shack Attack at April 28, 2005 10:38 AMWell, Derek Jeter's lack of mammilian ancestry may finally account for his fielding. I'm pretty sure that he lacks opposable thumbs. It's the only explaination for some of the errors he makes. The Yankee's announcers always try to blame them on our Astroturf, but now we know better.
You're right BG, you do deserve free stuff. This is a great blog! As a nearly graduated college student (only 23 days until I walk), I would like to donate my books. I can send you an entire library full of dense history text books, with a specialty in Latin American history. Please, I'm begging you, I have to get rid of them. Don't want them, huh? Guess I'll start trying to give them away with breakfast cereal
Posted by: ysolla at April 28, 2005 10:40 AMThose of you who have to suffer through Bitch Sox telecasts: why not mute the TV and listen to the game on the radio? Or is the radio crew equally annoying?
SloveniaTom, I second BrooklynEgg's comment. And that was today's Doublemint DoubleUp Comment.
Not being able to watch any AL Central games out here on the West Coast (cuz ESPN only airs crap (but not the real media ratings crap, which I think are Twins v. Royals games)) I need to attend a game in person. So, what's a guy gotta do to earn the NWA Round Trip Comment of the Day Award?
Oh, and SWAG Hag, er, Batgirl, that was a superb recap. And that was the TiresPlus Retread Comment of the Day.
Ah, so the Twins games are just as bad as Mariners games. That is sad. And that is the Zoloft PickMeUp Moment of the Morning.
- jekyll
I see squirrels.
Posted by: jekyll at April 28, 2005 10:46 AMDear Southside,
Yet again someone from the sunny south has confused Minnesota with Canada. We do not say "eh". We say "youbetcha", and "uffda". They have Loonies and Queen Elizabeth on their currency, we are loonies and have funny men in powdered wigs on ours.
Ysolla
Posted by: ysolla at April 28, 2005 10:46 AMysolla -
Hang on to your books. You may think you won't forget anything or want to remember anything, but one day you'll forget or want to remember. Especially if you take to drinking and are having a bar argument (of which Latin American history will come in handy when you run into some 40 year old and wanna argue about Contras and Sandinistas and stuff). This has been the American Library Association PSA of the Day sponsored by Captain Morgan hosted in Nye's Polonaise Room.
Posted by: jekyll at April 28, 2005 10:51 AMI enjoy listening to the BSox announcers. It is a chance to observe another culture. I especially love it when the squawk makes no attempt at describing what is happening in the game. Instead he says things like, "C'mon Paulie, pick him up here!" or "C'mon Mark, make a pitch here!" or best of all "C'mon!" I am also intrigued by the amount of silence in a typical Sox broadcast. DJ and squawk sit there watching the game and don't say anything. Apparently they don't do any research or prepare notes before the game. I find myself mockingly laughing at the idea that these two recieve real money for their services.
Posted by: tjacobits at April 28, 2005 10:57 AMBG,
Did you know that the Twins are leading the league with Runners In Scoring Position (RISP). I just about drove off the road when I heard Gordo relayiing this on the radio!
FYI,
tw1ns
Oops,
Should have said have the highest average with RISP. My bad.
tw1ns
Oddly/sadly, it is true. They are .333 with RISP yet only .143 with the sacks full (4th-last in the league).
(This has been the Enron Dangerously-Stats-Laden-by-Batgirl's-Standards Post of the Day.)
Posted by: Adam at April 28, 2005 11:22 AMbrooklynegg:
Bat Girl got books?! Will you post the titles please? I'll ask my son to include them in the next tobacco CARE package from Madison. (pause) Bookclub? Huh?
Posted by: sloveniatom at April 28, 2005 11:41 AMSloveniatom: Look in fiction under "Ursu, Ann." Spilling Clarence and The Mysterious Disapparation of James. I haven't read them (yet), but my girlfriend says they're great. It was an epiphonous moment when we realized this Batgirl person with the Legoversion I liked was the same person as this local novelist she liked.
Posted by: Kurtis at April 28, 2005 11:46 AMNot only did southside get the "eh" thing wrong, but Bert, at least, is not even Minnesotan. He sounds like that because he's Dutch (although it is deceptively "up nort'" sounding, and I can see where southside got confused).
Posted by: twink at April 28, 2005 11:55 AMSouthside--Fargo is not in Minnesota. Neither is C-Eh-N-Eh-D-Eh (though you probably were confused b/c the Twins team that has beaten the Sox the last 4 years has had Canadians).
Secondly, Torii has two I's but only one error. And considering that the only thing more shocking that's happened this decade in baseball was the Red Sox WS win, that says something. That and the fact that he has 4 gold gloves kind of secures his place on the Moral High Ground. And hey, what do the Bitch Sox know about the Moral High Ground?
Finally, calling a team that is full of bitches and is best known for the worst scandal in baseball history, a scandal that almost killed baseball, the "good guys" says something about a person's character. It's not positive (I'm not saying it's a negative character attribute to root for the Sox, just considering them the good guys is). And not having a catch phrase is a lot better than having the ones that The Squawk does.
Posted by: TBird41 at April 28, 2005 12:13 PMAs much as we like several of the BitchSox fans that post here, being a BitchSox fan is definately a negative character attribute.
(This comment sponsored by Cialis)
Posted by: Me at April 28, 2005 12:20 PMDid anyone check out this story on Page 2 today? Nothing about the Twins, but I sure do love it when they bash the Bitch Sox like this!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=neel/050428
Posted by: ndtf at April 28, 2005 12:21 PMSome random thoughts from last night's game...
CuddyBear wasn't the only Twin smilin' last night. If you watched the pre-game you were treated to the rare spectacle of a Justin Morneau smile. He was watching Torii and Lew work on another handshake when the normally stoic Doctor smiled.
"Today is today". I love Bert.
The bottom half of the order found their regular bats. Now they just have to find the rest.
As stated in the BOD thread, I have finally settled on a boyfriend. It is LNP.
Posted by: Saajak at April 28, 2005 12:23 PMI would pay any amount of money if we could find a way to convince Dick & Bert and Dan & Gordo to begin using the phrase "SIT DOWN BITCH", especially when El Presidente is on the mound, or when anyone is pitching against the Bitch Sox.
Posted by: bubblemint at April 28, 2005 12:37 PMI dont mind the White Sox announcers. But this is coming from a guy who likes the Twins radio announcers. My announcer alignment just might be out of whack.
:shurgs shoulders:
meh. oh well.
to each is own.
Any nominees for the worst sponsorship opportunities? For the Twins, I mean, because otherwise I'd nominate any feature these days on "SportsCenter." (That was a big topic yesterday on KFAN.)
I'll throw out one: The Dodge Dakota Pickup Window at the Dome.
Any ones out there that we are missing? Can we turn that in a separate thread? Or a game? Though from this article, it sounds like the stadium folks run most of the show, leaving the Twins to work for peanuts. (Really, most of the article is about the Twins working with Fisher nuts.):
http://www.startribune.com/stories/535/5371124.html
Posted by: The Commish at April 28, 2005 12:49 PMWord is Cuddy was joking around and asked for the ball after he got the hit. Just like the guys do when they come up and get their first hit. Getting the fun back into it is the best approach for the boy.
Posted by: r@fink at April 28, 2005 01:49 PMSo Batgirl, I am also fairly new to your website (though I did already order myself one of those fabulous Joe Mauer BF tshirts), and I am obsessed with reading your columns. I probably look pretty goofy sitting at my computer and laughing out loud, but oh well, my roommate already knows I'm a twins fanatic. Those of you who can't get TV where you live, definitely check into getting MLB.tv to watch on your computer, I am in school in Madison, and I would die if I didn't get to watch my twinkies win every night. Thanks batgirl for entertaining me, and if I had stuff to give you, I would most definitely give you it, unfortuneately, I am a poor college student, so all I can give is my praises.
Posted by: Molly at April 28, 2005 02:40 PMSo Batgirl, I am also fairly new to your website (though I did already order myself one of those fabulous Joe Mauer BF tshirts), and I am obsessed with reading your columns. I probably look pretty goofy sitting at my computer and laughing out loud, but oh well, my roommate already knows I'm a twins fanatic. Those of you who can't get TV where you live, definitely check into getting MLB.tv to watch on your computer, I am in school in Madison, and I would die if I didn't get to watch my twinkies win every night. Thanks batgirl for entertaining me, and if I had stuff to give you, I would most definitely give you it, unfortuneately, I am a poor college student, so all I can give is my praises.
Posted by: Molly at April 28, 2005 02:41 PMSo Batgirl, I am also fairly new to your website (though I did already order myself one of those fabulous Joe Mauer BF tshirts), and I am obsessed with reading your columns. I probably look pretty goofy sitting at my computer and laughing out loud, but oh well, my roommate already knows I'm a twins fanatic. Those of you who can't get TV where you live, definitely check into getting MLB.tv to watch on your computer, I am in school in Madison, and I would die if I didn't get to watch my twinkies win every night. Thanks batgirl for entertaining me, and if I had stuff to give you, I would most definitely give you it, unfortuneately, I am a poor college student, so all I can give is my praises.
Posted by: Molly at April 28, 2005 02:42 PMThe "Hawk" is only entertaining in small doses. Especially when compared to the Royals announcers. But, there is a limit to how much any sane person can take. Which leads me to the assumption that there is something seriously disturbed about Bitch-Sox fans.
But Southside, a catch phrase does not make an announcer, just like one gag does not make a comedian. Just ask Gallagher how business is these days? There is only one great announcer left these days, at least so far as I have heard. That man is Vin Scully, he turns every ballgame into a three hour story. He can tell you a story about every player on either team, no matter how obscure, and he has seen everything. Perhaps most importantly, unlike Michael Kay, Harrelson, or the worst of any announcer, the Yankees radio guy John "Thhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeee YANKEE'S WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. AND THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHE YANKEE'S WIN" Sterling he is not a homer. He would like to see the Dodgers win every game, but he doesn't root for them during a game or get disappointed when they lose. He accepts it as it is and knows that not everyone listening to him is a Dodger fan.
One caveat to my love for Scully. He made what is still my favorite call of all time. "It's a slow roller up the first base line. And it gets by Buckner, the ball gets by Buckner, Ray Knight scores and the Mets win the ballgame."
GAME 6 1986 WORLD SERIES the second greatest game of all time.
What kind of free stuff are you looking for? I'm sure I could scare up something for you...
I was hoping someone would hit a ball into the fountain. They said the Good Doctor kept hitting them into the fountain during BP, but I didn't get to see that.
Posted by: dudette at April 28, 2005 05:23 PMThis comment-space has given birth to a surprising amount of gooshy love (and Free Love! Yours for free, BG! Which, I know, achieves absolutely nothing compared to a DQ Blizzard) from Batcave n00bs, and so I'd just like to say:
At the conclusion of the NHL postseason, I weep tears of blood because for the next many, many, many months there is nothing happening but baseball. And this year, obviously, there hasn't even been an NHL season to be post- to, so the final knell foretelling the Doom of Baseball is being struck by the NBA. It's like the seventh seal of boredom. Unless baseball is being played by a certain flock of non-threatening fowl who won the freakin CWS a couple of years ago (and whose announcers are the antithesis of the Bitch Sox laddies), I find it a numbing game, slack as a Floridian retiree's bikini top and every bit as appealing. So, for the long, long summer, I go off and pursue non-sports things, like ceramics, and netflix, and sex, and I re-fall in love with Jon Stewart. And I read Ecclesiastes, and feel that pain.
This site, then, is an oasis in a desert place. I may not be excited by baseball, but I'm always startled (and delighted) by the quality of narrative it creates, and now my Geneology of Enjoyable Baseball Writers goes something like this: Malamud, Kinsella, Lord, Halberstam...BatGirl. Only W.P. and friends never cared enough to do game-by-game recaps. Nor did they have LegoVision.
With grateful thanks, then, for your soothing the summer of my discontent,
LJ
Posted by: LostJayhawk at April 29, 2005 09:34 AM