RD knows the hitting sucked -- three double plays and other feeble swings that didn't take advantage of the good at-bats.

However, I think that point is moot because no matter how many runs you get for Kyle (Plus-Two) Lohse, he's gonna give the other team two more --hence my hereafter moniker for Kyle/Lyle is simply "Plus-Two."

Speaking of monikers, I invite you all to take a look at this piece of wagering action: http://www.paddypower.com/bet?action=show_type_by_main_market&selectvcgrp=23733&category=SPECIALS&selected_bir_index=

I'm taking Simon at 40-to-1. (Click on my name if you don't wanna copy-and-paste the URL.)

I'm just wondering when are we supposed to see these new-style Small Sox that Ozzie and the Chicago press have been yammering on about all winter? The bitches just keep banging 'em over the wall. But it can't last. Never does. Radke will just have to bring his Big Game tomorrow, right? frightwig is sanguine. :)

Didn't anyone find it hi-larious that (a) U.S. Bitchular Field now has some kind of shrine in left field emblazoned with the word FUNDAMENTALS; and that (b) said shrine has already been bitched at for reducing the number of home runs?

This supreme irony could turn out to be a metaphor for the Bitch Sox's failed strategy this season...

Well, Crazy Carl will probably hit the ball another 800 feet in the first inning against Bradke, but then the Sox bats will go silent...In the mean time, Lyle needs to take a long hard look at himself.

We all know that the better the Bitch Sox do in April, the more fun it is to watch them implode around the All-Star break. So I say, let them have their fun now. After all, it's not who you walk into the party with that counts, it's who you leave with. But make sure those BatKitties have a good vet!

Haplo rattles on and on about Kyle Lohse, and sometimes he feels bad. Kyle Lohse can't help it, he's the pitcher that he is. The Twins are blessed with phenomenal pitching - and Kyle Lohse is the worst of a very good lot. Many teams throughout the majors would love having a Kyle Lohse; Kyle Lohse must know this.

The rest of the Twins must know this, too, b/c their complete inability to give poor Kyle Lohse run support indicates that they no longer want him on the team, and that they'll happily have him go to another team. If not for Kyle Lohse, Twins, do it for the fans. Please score poor Kyle some runs.

But now Haplo wants to talk about something very specific, something very dear to his heart: Michael Cuddyer.

Haplo has a couple greivances with Master Cuddyer's play, sure, but it's more his attitude and his decision-making skills that raises Haplo's hackles.

If you haven't noticed, Michael, some of the moves around the clubhouse in the past few months have left the Twins infield with something we'll refer to as a "leadership gap". This "leadership gap" resulted from 2 very sad and 1 very overdue moves, wherein Dougie Baseball, Cordell, and Cristiansands Guzman (respectively) moved on to other ball clubs. The once mighty Twins infield had been disassembled, leaving only Luis Rivas. And he's no "leader," is he, Michael?

We have a young, inexperienced infield, Michael. Let's face it. By my count - and we're leaving Rivas out of this, not because I can't do the math, but because thinking of him makes my ears ring - you have more years of AAAA ball under your belt than the rest of the infield combined. That makes you, by default, the leader. You're the stalwart veteran, Michael. You're the one the kids have to be able to look to as a shining city on the hill - you need to make an example of yourself.

Pointers:

Michael, don't try to steal any more bases. You're not very good at it. Michael, field the ball cleanly. The Twins 2000-2005 legacy is only as good as it's defense. Michael, if you're at first base, don't commit throwing errors. I know we all blame J.C., but it's your fault, too. Michael, hit the freaking baseball. Tiffee's giving you a pretty good run for your money now that the good Dr. is sitting out... which leads me to my next point.

Michael, as de facto leader, you have certain responsibilities. One of those responsibilities, aside from those listed above, is to represent. Do you know what representing is? Representing is rushing out of the dugout and hectoring punk relievers who bean the good Dr. The good Dr. looks up to you, Michael, he loves you, and you let him get hit in the head. Not this time, oh no, this time you couldn't have done anything about it. Michael, by not representing, you let the good Dr. get hit in the head next time.

I'm serious, Michael. Represent.

(Batgirl wipes a tear from her eye.)

Michael, I hope you are listening to Haplo. LISTEN TO HAPLO.

Haplo, that was a beautiful, Batgirl-worthy piece of work. Keep it up.

How many times has "GDIP" Hunter lived up to his name this year? Is someone keeping count?

Anyhow, I am not too distressed although I have to wonder how long before Kyle gets replaced by Baker... or Gassner if Silva returns.

That was a very pretty homer for the Chairman...and the day before his birthday. Nice.

Right on the money Haplo!

I unfortunately had a few whiskey's at my bowling banquet last night, and on the way home my designated driver and I were listening to the game and I damn near scared her half to death when I heard Carl "I'm going to kill the f-in ball" Everett hit the second homerun. You see normally I wouldn't react in such a way, but well it's the Bitch Sox and I had whiskey running through my veins.

Note to self: Lock up the whiskey in the house tonight, it doesn't mix well with Bitch Sox games.

The thing is, I feel kind of bad for Lohse. He actually did well this time out, and here he is with a loss. Okay, so giving up 5 runs isn't stellar, but the important thing is, he (generally) kept Lyle out of the ballpark.

No, this loss falls squarely on the shoulders of the many, many double plays our boys hit into last night (I lost count somewhere around 28 or 29, I think).

LeCroy might have also said, "Boy Howdy."

Randomness ahead, please be warned.

Being from Milwaukee semi-originally, I used to hate the Sox and Twins. Once the Brewers jumped ship to the NL, now I just hate the Twins (kinda).

Tom Kelly, brillant. Last to World Champs? I have the video. Jack Morris professing his love and then leaving town? Priceless.

While the Sox probably will implode at All-Star break, watching the Twins lose to Seattle in the opener (my those Sexson homers were pretty) and trail the season series to the Sox 3-1 is nice. Kuodos to the Twinkies for beating up on Detroit. After all, the divisions down to them and the Indians, isn't it?

We'll have to see what Radke and Hernandez can offer up tonight. But given the fact that the Cell is more homer happy than almost anywhere, maybe Radke can offer up some more gopher balls tonight.

Maybe... just maybe, we could have used this guy with runners on base.... just a thought.

Maybe he's found a home???

Michael Restovich went 2-for-3 with a double, one run, and one RBI against the Giants on Sunday.

This marked Resto's second multi-hit game in three days. He wasn't going to get playing time in Minnesota or Tampa Bay, but he's making the most of the opportunity in Colorado. His power in Coors Field is intriguing.

Moment of Torii frustration: 3 pitches, 1 inning-ending, rally-killing double play.

Moment of Torii elation: Takes a walk, steals second, advances to third on a bad throw, takes home on a wild pitch. Run scored without any hits.

Is anyone keeping track of just how much Mauer owns Shingo Takatsu? I seem to remember he did really well against him last season, and last night of course he put one over the wall against him. It should go without saying I'd have rather seen him double against Vizcaino in his previous at bat instead of following in Torii's footsteps and also grounding into a bases-loaded double-play.

Happy Birthday Chairman!

Hmm...I wonder what will happen now that the Sox are playing a 2-game set rather than a 3-gamer. We can't win two then lose one like we've been doing...

Hm. Guess we'll just have to truncate the last third of our pattern. :)

As for our post-allstar swoon? Not gonna happen. Roberto Alomar's retired! Woohoo!

"Is anyone keeping track of just how much Mauer owns Shingo Takatsu? "

This season I think everyone is owning Takatsu. Ozzie has him on a very short leash.

Please feel free to get your hopes up if he enters a game.

Wee Sister and I were both shocked that Kyle came out for the last inning he pitched. We were pretty sure he was tiring out there, and, well, were afraid of what could happen--justifiably, obviously. In reality, Kyle pitched a pretty good game and lost because of the few bad pitches. Contreras pitched a pretty lousy game and won because of the lots and lots of bad at-bats. Batgirl, is Sooz around to teach these boys about hitting?

And, Michael, I know you're my boyfriend and everything, but you've really got to learn to just stay on first base when you get there. I'm not sure about jumping out of the dugout to yell at pitcher who hit Justin, but otherwise listen to Haplo. Listen and Learn! (Excellent words, Haplo! I'm just not in favor of someone starting trouble on the field, espcially since it was not an intentional beaning.)

Stacy,

Are you saying that Mauer shares a birthday with Mrs. YankeeFan? She will be pleased.

YankeeFan

Dearest Bat-Girl,

[ed. by Jeb]

Minnesota Delenda Est,

Shoeless Joe

That was some ugly, ugly baseball last night, with the exception of Mr. Mauer's home run.

Happy Birthday, Joe!

Dearest Jeb-

Shoeless Joe admires your editing style! I can understand that calling for [edited again by JEB] is out of bounds, but that calling for the destruction of Minnesota in its entirety a la Carthage in the Punic Wars is OK!

But with [edited by JEB] out with [edited by JEB] I can see how your [edited by JEB] might be a little [edited by JEB] right now. I apologize.

By the way, here's a quote from [edited by JEB] on Feb. 28, 2005:

''The only thing I'm afraid of with the White Sox is 'Ohhh-wee-ohh, Magg-lee-ohhh.' When they played that, I was afraid,'' Hunter said. ''Carlos
Lee, when he came up, I was afraid. OK, these two guys are gone, I'm kinda not afraid anymore.''

-Shoeless Joe

*sigh*

Just wait till next time. Loshe may not be able to stand up to the Sox, but surely RADKE can. Just wait.

I blame all on Lyle Lohse – Anderson says he has the best stuff on the staff, a staff that includes Johan Santana and Brad Radke…when will Lyle pull his head out, become Kyle again and listen to his pitching coach?

Oh yeah, leaving the bases loaded might have had something to do with it too, especially when we did it TWICE!

Look at the bright side, we were not the Rays last night.

The Sox I saw last night look like the same team of the last few years, still using the home-run to cover up poor skills. Konerko (6), Everett (4)cannot keep up this pace, statistically improbable.(Konerko hits 72, Everett hits 50, the team hits 250 or more?) When they slump; the junky play, the weak bullpen, will cost them the one run wins, but most importantly is their attitude that every game is theirs to lose. If they just show up and play they win? I don't thiiiink soooo!

Keep bringing up the past, Twinkie fans, because my Sox are making your present extra-craptastic. "Wah! All the White Sox do is hit home runs. And this year, all they do is beat up on us."

Deal wit' it. This is our year, even with Ozzie calling the shots. Ya got Johan and Radke, and a bunch of other pitchers that are badke. Over and out.

Awwww. This gets more and more adorable every year.

Yes it does.
I can hardly wait for the Bitch Sox implosion to begin.

It is indeed a joyous victory for the Bitch Sox to come out one run ahead of the Twins, since they are so often many runs behind. One run ahead with our "4" starter on the mound... I guess they've got to think positively.

I think it's cute that all the Bitch Sox fans are coming over here. I am really looking forward to their insightful comments come August and September.

I find it interesting that you Twinkie fans think your pen is better than ours. Your closer is extremely solid... yes, but Hermanson, Marte, and Vizcaino are premiere set-up men that also go as closers if needed. Politte, Cotts, and Adkins are middle of the pack guys, but guys who are more than capable of getting the job done nonetheless. Shingo has been shakey, but if he gets back on track like last season, he'll be the man once again. I actually consider the Sox pen to be one of the strengths. So you guys keep making your top excuse of waiting for this so-called implosion because i hate to break it to ya, but this year it ain't comin.

WS, i'm sorry if you've got a problem with myself and my other fellow White Sox fans posting on this site. Most of us have just had some insightful things to say about this heated rivalry. But, since it matters to you.... after tonight i will have no interest in posting here until we play you guys again come August. No offense to Batgirl because she does do a real nice job maintaining this site, but no matter what happens tonight we'll still be in first place and will have other, more important things to worry about.

Truth born, Dave.

Of course, if the Twins ever manage to field a healthy team, then we're in trouble. (Yeah, that'll happen.) But between Morneau's Magglio-esque run of afflictions (up next: anal fissures!), Kubel's Klutsiness, Mauer's Baines-esque knee and Batgirl knows what else, this isn't a notion that will keep me up nights.

When the answer is Jacque Jones, I don't wanna know the question.

I have absolutely no problem with WS fans posting on this site. I mean that sincerely.

I just don't actually expect to see most of you back here in August.

Daveman,

In my experience, Whox fans are pretty knowledgeable and pretty good sports, and the rubes who run out on the field are the exception, not the rule. So come on back when the pennant race heats up. We'll all be on the edge of our seats as Detroit and Cleveland battle it out. ;-)

Am I the only one that gets the feeling the Sox fans are talking like they have a 15 game lead over the Twins, not the 1 game they do have?

Living among fans of the Southsiders, I hear them raving about how much better the Sox are than the Twins... been hearing it for the past three years. It's much more effective to just let them talk and talk and talk, then come September, bring up baseball again. They HATE that.

Just be cool and act like you've been there before....three times.

Sorry, Paul -- we're extrapolating how big our lead will be by season's end.

Oh, I kid. Inflated rhetoric brings the same in kind.

Am i the only one who has a major problem with LeCroy batting cleanup? or batting at all? I like the twins lineup 1-3 and 5-8 (let's not talk about the nine spot b/c we all know that means L. Rivas, better to not say anything).

I don't see why LeCroy is given regular at-bats, but if he's going to be in the lineup can't he be in the #7 spot or something where his sucking is less of a rally killer?

The Sox are improved this year, no doubt. The Indians, too. It's not going to be a cake walk in the Central this year. We might even have an actual pennant race come September. Wouldn't that be exciting?

I've been thinking a lot about LeCroy lately. I value his leadership. And he's a character, no doubt. But, let's face it, he's a dire emergency catcher, at best and as a back up first baseman, well, he's not so good. So, that leaves us with a right handed bat off the bench. Everytime he hits the ball on the ground, though, I groan. I mean, we know he's not beating out anything to first. He's got all the speed of a two legged turtle. So, I'm wondering, just how valuable is his leadership and bat off the bench? Maybe if he took a little pride and lost some weight, did some fielding work or something. But you never hear about that with Matty.

So, then, what I see is a bench spot that's being taken up by a right handed pinch hitter. It hurts because I really like Matty, but ... it might be time to let go.

Next time LeCroy gets on, put on a hit and run, the other team will be so in shock (or laughing too hard) of LeCroy running that he would be able to make it all the way to third!! OR have LeCroy put down a bunt, same result, the other team would not know what just hit them and he would use those “Lightning Legs” to get to first safely!!

re: Matty Ruxpin.

I love him.

Moreover, we all had the same feelings about David Ortiz. Take David Ortiz out of the HHH, and look at what happens. Solution: get a new ballpark for Matty.

And, again, we need some sort of veteran presence in the infield. Someone to look on disdainfully as mistakes are made; someone to slowly shake their head and bob their eyebrows. Matty Ruxpin is that guy - just stick a tape in his belly. Even though, well, he makes a lot of mistakes.

I partly blame Gardy's weird inability to stick with a line-up. If Matt could get into a groove, he'd be butter - sure he'd hit .245, but it would be a good .245. And yes, you're right, he shouldn't bat clean-up. I think the only people that should bat in the 3 and 4 slots on our team are Jacque, The Good Dr., Tiffee (maybe?), and the Chairman. Maybe Torii when he's on a streak.

And regarding Southsider's posting - fine, just don't be annoying. And don't say "Twinkies" - that was never clever.

Mmm...Butter.

>fine, just don't be annoying.

That is very well said.
--Mgmt.

I think it's time to cut the cord on LeCroy. Even when he gets a hit, the team is crippled because how do you play small ball when the man on first couldn't beat Bob Dole in a race to second? Every time he comes up I cringe. He can't field any position, we don't really need a his slow ass coming off the bench and he sure as hell shouldn't be batting clean up.

On the positive side, I do like his intro music.

You know, back in the days of my misguided youth, I actually (gasp!) used to have a soft spot for the Bitch Sox - even the nefarious Darth Thomas (I was the first baseman for my slowpitch team, he was my hero). As I got older and wiser (and crankier), I came back to the Twins, and I just generally get irritated with the the ChiSox and more recently, their fans.

Seems like they've taken a lot of lessons trash talking from Buehrle, et al.

OK, I still get teensy butterflies in my stomach when I see Fat Frank in person. I hate his attitude now though, the same one that seems to run through out the entire organization ('cept Ozzie, I think he's classy).

We have 2-3 Sox fans out here that are actually making contributions, rather than just gloating about a 1 game lead, in April, no less.

I don't know what my point is, except that I'm getting tired of all the pointless trash talking. Maybe they're just jealous because they don't have as cool a website to hang out on.

Yeah, the Twinkie thing does get tiresome. I wouldn't mind never hearing that again.

Matthew LeCroy: I like him too. How could you not? He's funny, and he adds a lot to the clubhouse. As someone else mentioned, like David Ortiz. But I also think it's true that he's just not doing that much for us. We could live without him. (And then maybe we could keep Terry Tiffee!) Lew can DH and Mauer can DH when he's not catching. Maybe Lew could get in his playing time on those nights when Mauer isn't catching, or when Lew plays Jacque or Torii can DH. There are other options available, and I sure would like to keep TT around (though how he fits into the infield with the Doc playing is hard to say). Matty didn't do the job at 1st base, and I don't expect he's going to get much catching time in.

Granted, this is your site, but if you guys get to call us the 'Bitch' Sox, shouldn't we be able to call you guys the Twinkies from time to time?

Michael Restovich (1) solo shot to left off Estes.

That guy can hit.....

Rah - ok, I said it.
You are correct - this is an incredibly cool and entertaining website. All the Whitey/Tighty fans should be jealous. I do enjoy the banter back and forth - yes, it's pointless. Somebody once said Napoleon Dynamite was pointless . . . but it still had great entertainment value. Anyway, let them in, let them brag, let them talk smart (provided they are not annoying). At the end of September, let them whine, let them bitch, let them hide in their closets. Hopefully a bit of a competitive pennant chase will make the Twins a tougher team come playoffs.
I'll say it again, Rah.

Maybe if the Bitch, ahem, WHITE Sox stopped bitching all the time, the name wouldn't have stuck.

Now I don't know what Hostess snack cakes have to do with my baseball team, but the whole Twinkie reference is just silly.

I did read an article today that talked about how Ozzie was happy to be bringing Frank back to a winning team, hopes he can feed off the more positive atmosphere and clean up his act a bit. See, there is one guy on the Sox that I kinda like. He's Venezuelan too, so of course, that helps.

I was at the game last night and felt the same way about LeCroy. He wasn't even half way down the line before the double play was turned. I'd much rather see Ford, Morneau, Jones, and Mauer in the line-up rather than giving up one of those spots to Fatty Fat Fats. Thus, I think he should be shipped to another team for some infield or Middle Relief Prospects.

Say it again hegs! :)

I think my close proximity to the Minnesota border has allowed some of the 'MN Nice' to rub off on me. Trash-talking isn't really my thing. See, I find it usually comes back to bite you in the arse. I'd be much too afraid to jinx my Twins.

I guess, following my own logic then, we should all encourage the White Sox fans...

I couldn't tell you the true origin of the nickname Twinkies (probably just the fact that the word 'Twin' is in 'Twinkie'), which yeah, is kind of pointless and unintelligent. However, as a lifelong ChiSox fan, I have grown up knowing the Twins as that courtesy of Hawk Harrelson. That seems to be what the rest of the Central Division knows you guys as as well to my knowledge. In fact, sitting near a few diehard Indians fans at one of last weeks Tribe/Sox games, I heard several of them commenting as we all saw the score showing that you guys were pummeling the Tigers. They were saying, "Those damn Twinkies." So us Sox fans aren't the only ones. At least the rest of the league dosen't know you as the Pale Hose.

And yes, hegs had a good point. Sometimes, pointlessness = hilarity.

ND: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.

Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.

ND: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.

Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.

I think BatKitty 1 is bi-polar.

Matty is in a bit of a power drought this week, but he's still batting .273 with a .385 obp, and you know he'll Go Boom again before too long. As a 1B, he doesn't have great range, but he generally catches the ball and fields what he can reach pretty well. Being a righty bat also makes him a useful backup to LHB's Morneau and Mauer, or as a pinch-hitter for Jones. And who do the Twins have to replace him?

Tiffee doesn't work. As a LHB, he's a redundant sub for Morneau or Jones. This team needs a solid RHB on the bench, and I think LeCroy still fits the bill pretty well.

I suspect we are all slightly traumatized by the sight of LeCroy playing first base and so have forgotten that he was a hero at the plate the first week.

Not to throw gas on the fire but as a life-long Twins fan I've been known to refer to them as the "Twinkies" on many occasions. It's like a stupid pet name. I also call the Vikes "The Queens", the T'Wolves "The Lumberpuppies", and the Wild "The Tame". Most of those nicknames stem from a sense of frustration but I still use 'em.

FW-
The problem is that he isn't a bench player. He's getting way too many at-bats for the "upside" of a homerun once every two weeks. Who would have you rather seen have more at-bats last night, Lew Ford or Fatty? He's taking away quality at-bats from better players. He should be used to pinch hit for Rivas and Bartlett in the 9th and for the occassional comic relief he brings when he waddles around the bases and that's about it in my book.

> Batgirl must remind herself that if the Bitch Sox did not beat us in April they would have nothing to collapse from in September. And what fun is that?

Ah, the Bitch Sox. A truckload of Mr. Mays and not a Willie in the bunch.

I don't love Twinkies (the uh, 'food' or the nickname), just because its so dumb & I usually hear it from non-fans in a deragatory context. I suppose one has the right to call their own team whatever they want.

I was just trying to illustrate the difference (in origin) between Bitch Sox and Twinkies - they earned their name!

Lumberpuppies? Too funny. That was a first for me.

I'm more of a dog person than kitty person, so I just looked up kitty blackheads because I didn't know what that is, and now I feel icky. Dear Batgirl, don't stress the kitties.

Personally, I've never had a problem with calling them "Twinkies" either. Sure, it's an easy, uncreative nickname, but that doesn't bother me. Lets face it, we had plenty of years where calling them "Twinkies" was being nice.

Daveman - Would you be Daver from WSI by any chance?

The thing about LeCroy is that when Doc comes back, he won't be taking all of the at-bats. His role will be a part-time DH, part-time Pinch Hitter, who hits righties somewhat poorly but typically crushes left-handed hitting. That seems like an ideal player to keep around, especially to give Doc a rest against lefties. Sure, he's playing everyday currently due to the injury, but I for one am happy with his place on the team.

DD

I find it really funny that anyone would say anything good about Dustin Hermanson. AJ is a Giants fan and so I paid a lot more attention to the Giants last year than I would have liked, and thus witnessed Hermanson WALKING IN THE WINNING RUN causing THE HATED RIVAL DODGERS to CLINCH THE DIVISION ONE DAY BEFORE THE END OF THE SEASON!

I can't WAIT for Bug-Eyes to do that for us this year! Go Dustin!