Go Kyle Winshe.

I hope that Tiffee will be just as...effective* at first as he looked to be at third. Also that he makes a passable imitation of a clean-up hitter. I'm wondering if this isn't the first time he's ever hit in the fourth spot.

Also, I hope that Gameday doesn't mess with the fabric of space and time again tonight. I was stuck for quite a while.

MK

*You thought I was going to say Spiffee, didn't you. Nope, too easy. You aren't going to get that out of...oh. Shoot...

Batgirl sincerely hopes she doesn't eat these words, but here we go:

Tiffee cannot be worse at first than LeRoy.

Batgirl,

If it weren't for the fact that I am at work, I'd drink to that statement.

MK

This will be interesting, at the very least.

The alliteration of Terry Tiffee remind me of Tim Teufel.

Bill James used to say that the ultimate showdown would be when Jim Gott pitched to Tim Teufel.

After the Twins traded him, did Teufel ever face Gott in the NL?

mlb.tv's got 'cco play by play with the video--no graphics on the screen. is the game not on in the twin cities?

good gravy

1-0 tiggers

Nope. It's not on tonight!

Now pitching, for the Minnesota Twins... Lyle Kohse

=(

Just pulled up the radio just in time to hear Inge hit a homer in the first. We got two outs though. Ugh.

It's nice of Lyle to spot the Tigers a run so they don't feel left out of the first-inning bonanza the Twins have been handing out this year.

Wait...the true measure of kyle vs. lyle is how he handles himself afterward. Two quick outs, including a three-pitch strikeout! There may be hope yet.

Serious question, have there ever been flashes where Lohse shown why they have had such patience with him?

That's our pitcher.

There's a part of me that wants--hopes, even--Loshe to get his act together and become a good major league pitcher.

However, there's a small part of me that hopes that he pulls a Sean Bergman and disappears quickly and quietly, never to be seen in a Twins uniform again.

MK

Are we taking bets on the date the Twins dont give up a first inning run?

Eric: all I know is they (coaches, sportswriters, etc.) always talk about what "great stuff" he has. Whatever that means.

Well, he looked very good in much of '02 and in '03 it looked like he was preparing to be something very exciting in '04. And then, well....

I don't know what you expect; after all, it is a game of Inges. Al

why do we keep spotting these guys a run? I know we'll win eventually, but i'd like to lead wire to wire for once...

Ouch, al.

LOL @ al

Kyle supposedly has four good pitches, and he has good movement so hitters will swing at something well outside the strike zone. The big problem seems to be that he usually completely loses the ability to throw strikes after giving up a home run.

alright Tiffee!

Spiffee!

Hey, the Junior Division is coming through tonight!

I see Tiffee is continuing where he left off!

(and Al! Ouch!)

Terry Tiffee rules.

P.S. - I've got dibs on June 23rd, 2014. ;)

Tiffee already has proven more productive than Lecroy.

Torii: "See, kids? This is how you knock in the runs..."

I LIKE EARLY RUNS!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

now thats more like it. Good hit Torii!

It's such a STRANGE feeling. I don't understand this whole "lead thing."

Torii!

First time this year the Twins have led going into the 2nd...

Batgirl -

My girlfried was disappointed you didn't offer a "Terry Tiffee is my Boyfriend" tee. She was talking a bit about Justin's cherubic curls, but I'm sure she's already forgotten him now that Terry's back.

- Kurtis

Can we safely say the ass-bats have been expunged?

Nice to see Torri continue to get some quality hits.

Torii: "And this is how you steal the base..."

What a steal!

Oh my.

WOW JACQUE!!!!!!!

5-1!!!!!

WOO JJ!!! 5-1 in the first!

Holy cow!

WOOHOOO!!!!!

Torii: "And *this* is how you get the guy hitting behind you to hit a bomb and bring you in, so you don't waste energy you could use to chase down the fly balls..."

Wow, is this the same Twins team we saw against the Sox last week!?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOew

6 straight hits. wow. I wonder what the club record for consective hits?

YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
JJ crushed that one

(muttering): "I am not jealous of Kyle Lohse. I am NOT jealous of Kyle Lohse. I am NOT..."

Hey BG, this thing never remembers my "personal info" even when I check the box.

Ok THAT was funny. =)

Can't let Torii get too far ahead of me in RBIs or HR....

Impostor! There's no "s" in Jacque Jones!

Trammell to pitcher Johnson: "I thought I told you to get the next guy *out*!"

Shannon Stewart must feel left out going 0-1.

Yeah, the ass-bats have definitely been thrown away. Lets hit around!

Dear Adam,

It doesn't remember Batgirl's either. But if you click on the time stamp and enter comments that way, on the archive page, it should.

Sincerely,
BG

Terry Tiffee Boyfriend shirts, done!

Hmmm. I think I might know why.

Buenos Noches Senor Johnson.

Dear Adam,

BG would be very happy if you could fix this quirk.

Sincerely,
BG

I'm trying to keep score on the bench, but I can't figure out how to tally multiple hits.

Awesome, this is a great first inning AND they're playing the WCCO broadcast on MLB.TV so i dont' have to listen to the stupid guys from Detroit.

At least Johnson made it partway through the first inning, you can't expect much LESS of him. Stweie might feel left out, but i think he's gonna get a chance to TOTALLY REDEEM HIMSELF.

JHK- He'll have his chance here.

Wow...Johnson only lasted 1 out, I like it.

Somewhere in Cleveland, a chair shudders in unknown terror...

I wonder how Trammell's feeling about using his entire bullpen yesterday.

I have no pity for him, however. His suffering is our fun.

Damn, and I thought the Twins would just concede the division to us.

It's obvious now! Stewart has the last remaining ass-bat!

mk posted: Somewhere in Cleveland, a chair shudders in unknown terror...
---

BWAHAHAHA. nice!

Ok Loshy... lets go 1-2-3 this inning!

It's because HTTP cookies can only be set by the server and path that they apply to. The personal info cookies are keyed to www.bat-girl.com, directory "/archive/" -- but the pop-up comments window is at www.anneursu.com, directory "/mt/".

It would probably be best to have the pop-up function open a file that comes from bat-girl.com.

Oh dear. I see this is going to be a low-scoring game.

Someone get him Morneau's bats quick! The good doctor should be able to fix this one.

Poor Stewie. 3 outs in one inning (not really, but sort of).

I think Lyle Kohse feels pity for the Tigers and decided to make the game more exciting for the fans.

I lost rock-paper-scissors to Lyle today, so he's pitching. But then again, you've probably already figured that out.

phew...double play, only 1 more out...come on Kyle

I wonder how many runs against we'd have if we couldn't turn the double play--as many critics have implied...

Anyone else see that Restovich played today for the Rockies?

Kyle,

The next time you play rock-paper-scissors with Lyle, give him a forearm shiv. Whether you win or not.

MK

At this rate, we're gonna win 36-9. nice.

Anyone else see that Restovich played today for the Rockies?
---

no! Howd he do?

Tinger,

That is assuming Lyle pitches a complete game and it should be 45-9.

JHK

Bartlett is a machine.

My bad, no bottom of 9th :)

Actually 40-9. :-)

Oh, sorry. Resto went 0-3 with a strikeout.

On the double play: I didn't envision seeing Bartlett-Punto-Tiffee, but it works.

Seriously guys, this game could Inge on how well Klyle handles this guy.al

Since I'm not watching the game, I can only imagine that Tiggers' manager Alan Trammell is aging like the villain in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" after drinking from the wrong cup...

Until Morneau comes back, I'd be happy seeing Bartlett-Punto-Tiffee every day.

go ahead, juice the bases for torii... i'll give you a dollar!

Tinger, I can double that dollar.

Dear Mr. Gardenhire,

Thank you for spotting us that early one run lead. It is a shame my players do not know what to do with it. Thank you for the effort.

Alan Trammell

ok, honestly... he swung at the first pitch after HOW MANY balls?

Well, he looked safe from Iraq... if that helps anything... probably not..

Wow, do y'all see Jacque's career numbers against Ginter: he's 7 for 9. That's serious. Or ESPN is just yankin' my chain.

BG, can you try to institute a rule against leaving the bases loaded 2 innings in a row?

That was really sad.

These double plays are killing us...NO MORE!!!

I couldn't see it; was that Kyle pitching in the 3rd?

Apparently there was a scuffle between innings. Kyle Lohse, who had somehow managed to pick the lock on the closet he was shut in, jumped Lyle Kohse from behind, knocked him out, and dragged him behind some bushes, stealing his uniform (think Wizard of Oz).

Twink,

I'm glad he took my advice.

MK

Dear Al,

My powers are only so great.

Sincerely,
BG

Wait, was that a joke just now on CCO?

They said Silva is back and due to pitch tomorrow????

Please, tell me this is true...

I couldn't quite understand. He can't get off the DL until the 22, like the good Dr. Perhaps he is coming back from Houston?

It looks like after Kyle stole his uniform, Lyle went and swapped the good bats for ass bats. Judging by this, Kyle probably stole Lyle's uni right around the beginning of the bottom of the third.

Silva's on the DL and can't come back until the 22nd, so I don't know what they're talking about...

I thought they put him on the DL...

If he is back, that would definitely be AWESOME!

Eric, you're not hearing things, so thats out of the question, i heard it too... now whether or not its a joke, i'm not sure, but thats a dirty, dirty joke...

A-ha!
http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20050413&content_id=1014713&vkey=news_min&fext=.jsp&c_id=min

Silva is scheduled to throw in a bullpen session Thursday. He will likely make a Minor League start to keep up his arm strength before he is eligible to come off the disabled list April 22. If all goes well, the Twins plan to insert him back into the rotation that day and push everyone back with an extra day of rest.

Torii, before the game: "Here, Dmitri, try this bat out..."

Well, Kyle is definitely back on the mound. It might also be Silva in disguise with all the double plays and ground outs that he's getting

The Twins and the double play kinda remind me of the Illinois basketball team...

We live by them, then we turn around and die by them... then we win by them again. Mostly we win by them though.

WOW.

Silvaback.

Hey, Stewart finally found a good bat in his box. Nice job legging out the double and then advancing to third.

Nice play by Stewart turning that single into a double. Kind of an anti LeCroy play

ATTABOY STWEIE!!!!!!

i knew he had a hit in him.

he's running the bases like he's guzman or something. nice.

Spif...err...great!

I guess TT has cemented his boyfriend status!

WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY WE KEPT CORKY OVER TIFFEE???

Yeah Buddy. Tiffee w/ the bomb

Terry Tiffee...

what are you eating?

Terry Tiffee's Line as of the 4th inning:
2-2, 1.000, 1HR, 3RBI, 4.000OPS, 1BB

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TERRY TIFFEE!!!!!
nice HR!

Is that his first in the big leagues?

Ha! He's batting 1000! He's my new boyfriend!

Hey BG, I am reminded of a question I had for you: which boyfriend Ts are going the fastest? Who is the most popular boyfriend? I know we're not about stats here so much, but I've been curious as to whether the boyfriend popularity (as evidenced by Ts) follows who you'd think - Torii, the Chairman, Johan, etc - or if the Real Deal, Crain, Cuddy and the others are getting some boyfriend love as well.

I know this could have waited until after the game, but... well, it didn't. Besides, there's obviously good reason for the Tiffee T already tonight, right?

Twins in Boston,

Tiffee had a few HRs last year.

Tiffee is not eating bugs.

TBird41,

It's the Civil-War-era sideburns that Miller has. Probably fooled someone into thinking he was a veteran presence behind the plate.

MK

I like Corky

I'm sorry, my mind was wandering a bit, and I thought I just heard the phrase "Lohse strikes out the side" come from the direction of my radio. Am I hallucinating?

Dearest AT,

Batgirl will soon do a post addressing that very question, but let me say a lot of people really love them the Lew Ford.

Sincerely,
BG

Stiking out the side?!? Who's Kyle trying to be...Johan??

Thank you, BG.

OK, so Kyle has now been Lyle, Carlos the Jackal, and Johan already tonight? How might he imitate Bradke in inning 6?

Wow. Lohse has suddenly remembered how to pitch.

Err...striking.

And no, Andre, you weren't hallucinating. Either that, or whatever stuff you have is strong enough to cross state lines.

Hey, just got in and see the game has gone well so far for the Twins. Anyone mind giving me a brief highlight summary?

Yay! I'm finally back. Cable Modem's acting up.

Anyway... when they said Silva would be back tomorrow, they meant he'd be back in the Twin Cities after his trip to Houston. ;)

Terry Tiffee... Offensive juggernaut!

Hi! Long-time poster, first-time game threader.

I'm feeling good enough about this game to listen to rest of it while at the gym.

The Tigers won't be taken seriously as long as they have Brandon (And The Angry) Inge in theie everyday lineup.

Off to swear, er, sweat.

Peace, RD

sacky,

Well, the Twins have run out of the ass-bats, Tiffee's been...pretty damn good, and Kyle Loshe is entertaining us with imitations of other good pitchers on the Twin's staff.

Does that sum it up enough?

MK

RD, of all the Inge jokes / puns I've read, that is my favorite. I wonder if he's ever sung "Wig in a Box" at karaoke?

Your powers are limited to doing good: I know that, but the game "could Inge", has what to do with said powers? Some times my head feels all funny-like,and I key in things that my real self {Kyle} would never, ever do It makes me cr Inge.Al

I told Kyle Lohse to not worry about sucking and start strucking out batters.

Yay! Kyle showed up, and didnt bring Lyle!!

MK - thanks! That plus a quick review of the thread is plenty. Looks like I missed a great first inning!

Sacky,
Our beloved Shannon Stewart missed a great first inning too. He made all 3 outs. So at least you're in good company.

AT,
You wanna borrow my Detroit Tigers at the Karaoke Klub CD?

When Brandon Inge sings "Wig in a Box," these are the lyrics that come out. Hedwig always cries when it comes on.

RD

On nights like this
when the world's a bit amiss
and the lights go up
across the Metro dome
I strike out
I feel bad
I feel on the verge of wearing plaid
and then it's time to face Kyle Lohse

I put on some eye-black
and turn up the iPod
and pull the cap down on my head
suddenly I'm Dmitri Young
Midnight Strikeout King
until I head home
and put my ass-bat to bed

AT-- On the Twins Territory site, someone did a statistical look at Bradke's inning by inning scoring, to see if it was true that he gave up a lot of runs early on.

Well, he found that Radke had given up the most runs in the 1st, 3rd and 6th inning. So that's how Lohse is acting like Bradke--giving up runs in the 6th inning.

RD,

WOW. I think we may be the only two people here who truly understand the genius of what you just wrote, but I hope not. Even Batgirl's beloved followers are brilliant!

Oh, and Lyle: put Kyle back in the game. NOW.

Tinger,

Did you go to Illinois?

Is Franklyn German?

TBird, you're right! I read that article too. Shocking. Why couldn't he have imitated Bradke in the 2nd?

Dearest RD,

Bravo.

Sincerely,
BG

Ummmmm...Dark Star just said he was President of the Corky Miller fan club. Maybe that's why no one pays attention to what he has to say.

I, for one, am very proud of Kyle, and maybe a BOD nod (when we win ::knocks wood::) would be a big confidence builder.

Donna, that's very kind of you. You're probably right about his confidence.

oh, and in answer to your earlier question: Tinger went to Bemidji State (go Beavers, eh?).

Dear Adam,

Thanks for your help. I will put the BatTechCrew on it.

Sincerely,
BG

I was just wondering, because he was commenting on the Illinois basketball team... I went to Illinois.
As for the Beavers, well, their hockey is improving.

Sorry Donna, but there's only one possible choice for BOD tonight--Terry Tiffee. I mean, so far, he's 2-2 with a double and a two run bomb. And this is his first day in the big league this year.

That and maybe it'll send a message to Terry Ryan that he should keep Tiffee when Morneau comes off the DL.

*cough* waive Corky *cough*

Donna,

I'm going to agree with TBird41 on this one. As fun as Kyle's impression act has been, it's just been too...much...Tiffee today.

MK

While I do love Terry, I think it is much more important for Kyle to have the BOD nod than it is for Terry. Terry is already confident in himself. Kyle is not.

Donna,

While I stand by my assertion, you do have a valid point.

Mssrs Morgan and Miller,

I think Mr. Mauer is seeing the ball just fine now, thank you.

MK

Jacque Jones... walked? In 2 consecutive games? What?

They hit Lew? WHAT?

Donna - I believe they must have sewn the bat to Jacque's shoulder. This is the only possible explanation.

I think the lack of Ass bats has made Jaque more patient at the plate.

Well, the obvious way Kyle pretended to be Radke while he was pitching was to only walk one batter.

lew was safe!

Oh dear, is this team ever going to get over its L.O.B. habit? That's three times tonight.

I hope Corky is still on the team when I make my one trip to Metrodome (live outstate/no car...make it a 1 trip deal, but thats a whole big lond different story)

I will be holding a giant sign, three seats big, 'Corky Miller Fan Club'

I had to change allegances after we got rid of Mike Fetters

Okay, Inge's mug shot on Gameday is seriously creeping me out now. He looks like an alien!

OK, I'm better now. Lew is OK. After Justin, every time I hear HBP, I assume they were hit in the head and will lose balance / confidence / eyesight / etc. I suppose I'm still scarred from when Kirby got hit back in the day.

Oh, and in much brighter news: Juan Rincon is my boyfriend.

The radio guys love Boo-Berry, and so do I. Good inning!

Yeah, Boo has been crazy good so far this season.

Alright Mauer! Turnin' it up!

from the PiPress:

" Sports Illustrated has chosen Twins all-star Joe Nathan the "most feared" closer in the American League."

http://www.twincities.com/mld/twincities/sports/baseball/11378829.htm

That's because Joe Nathan hasn't had a major meltdown. ::knocks wood::

Donna! Shhhh!!!!

(Maybe Nathan just really wants the save)

Sit him down, O Nathanest of Joes!

I'm sure we can settle for a pop fly for the win...

Hey, Twins pitchers can get pop-ups all season for all I care. Go Twins!

It looks like Infante finally hit one out of the infield, so good for him, but TWINS WIN!

I was starting to get nervous, but Nathan managed to save his non-save! Or something like that. Fearsome!

He doesn't get a save when HE'S the one that created the save situation. :-)

Rock & Roll Bullpen!!

Terry Tiffee has a HOT voice. He's so cute!

ok.. so they just interviewed the good Dr. on Fox 9 News.

Doggone it if he isn't still talking exactly as he typed todays entry... I started laughing all over again.

BOD is Kyle Lohse all the way. C'mon you guys! You gotta give the guy credit when it's due! He did a great job. Maybe this game will be a turning point for him. Really-- I'm serious!