Pictures from Art!
You can see chicks with this thing!
AND a report and pictures from Fort Myers from Batling and Bitch Sox fan Ilk. (Perhaps, dear Ilk, you are merely drawn to the Twins during spring training because in your heart, you know they are vastly superior to the Bitch Sox in every way.)
Dear Batgirl,Spring always makes me itchy for baseball. Since my beloved Bitch Sox train in a nuclear waste dump in Arizona, I opt to go to Florida every year instead.
Got down to Fort Myers at about noon yesterday. Traffic on I-75 was a nightmare and I probably saw more Illinois license plates between Tampa and Fort Myers than I do in Chicago. It was Minnesota Day at Hammond Stadium and the parking lots were jam-packed with tailgating denizens from the Land O'Lakes. Not sure if lefse or lutefisk were part of the bill of fare. Wandered over to the minor league complex and watched the Twins-in-embryo known as the Beloit Snappers take batting practice before their game against the Pirates rookies. They're all young crackers.
As I was walking back toward the stadium, Tom Kelly strolled by all alone in his windbreaker and old man socks with a bat in his hand. I asked him if he had time to sign a ball really quick and he was like "I really really really gotta get going" and gave me a dirty sneer. (Please note: I was not wearing any White Sox attire) I hope the old bastard chokes on the grapefruit-sized wad of chaw he had in his mouth.Grant Balfour and Lew Ford were goofing off with the TV camera in the Twins dugout right before the game started. Grant even put the controller's headset on and started moving it around. Would have made a great picture, but I had a beer in my hand at the time. [ILK! PUT THE BEER DOWN--BG]
Radke had a great first inning, and then got into trouble after that. I think he shortened up his delivery just a smidge and it seemed like everything was right down the pipe. If you're a soft-tosser who throws right down the pipe, sooner or later you're gonna get shelled.
No limp visible on Mauer. My god he has a sweet swing...that double he hit was just an absolute rope. He was a little hesitant running the bases...but hey, he's a catcher. (On a side note, I think that AJ has supplanted Paul Konerko as the slowest Bitch Sock)
Torrrrriiii made a fantastic running backhanded stab off a Brandon Inge shot in the 5th. I can't stand the guy [PERHAPS BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME?--BG], but there is none better at his position in all of baseball.
I'll be blunt. Nathan looked just rotten. I don't think that anyone even swung at most of his offerings, they were so far outside.
The Twins all in all look like the same pesky, perky bunch that's caused me so much misery these past 3 years. Counting the days until the season!
Sincerely,
IlkPS: They have this restaurant here called Waffle House. There's really good waffles there [YUM, WAFFLES--BG].
ArtShots!
A little more color in his face...
...if not his swing.
...I'm sad.
I'm Rad!
Happy!
Bum touchie!
Maybe if I get a triple, Newmie will touch my bum, too!
Nice try.
Nice try, again.
And IlkShots:
Didn't somebody take a picture of us doing this yesterday?
Somebody get in there!
That's better.
Pitchee.
Hittee.
Oh man, Mauer and Morneau keep getting hotter and hotter.
Posted by: Stacy at March 21, 2005 09:05 PMThat first picture looks like a good way to go "beaver shooting" to coin a phrase!
Win Twins!
PS: Ilk, no one can be as slow as our "pinch runner" Matty LeCroy!
Posted by: talldrinkowater at March 21, 2005 09:22 PMOhhhhhh, Art. Thank you! So many great shots of my Morneau. You've made my week!
Posted by: ForMorneau at March 21, 2005 10:09 PMTDOW...there's a vendor at Hammond Stadium who looks exactly like LeCroy. When he passed by, my hands were busy with beer (shocker, eh?) and I forgot to get a pic. I did notice that LeCroy wasn't in the lineup...maybe he's got a side job.
BitchSoxPride,
Ilk
Ilk, I think that "sneer" is really just TK's natural expression. It's kind of like W's smirk, it's just the way his face goes if he doesn't consciously rearrange it. Don't take it personally.
Smitty
Posted by: Word Smith at March 21, 2005 10:36 PMhehe...anyone hear about Buehrle breaking his foot? I wonder who he'll trash talk about that.
Posted by: Stacy at March 21, 2005 10:45 PMIt's only a flesh wound, Stacy!
Seriously, Mark is expected to miss only a couple weeks of action since an MRI revealed no bone damage.
As an aside: Sox fans:Buehrle::BatGirl:LeCroy
BSP,
Ilk
random thought-
wouldn't it have been great in HS if the SAT verbal reasoning section had been made up solely of baseball analogies a la Ilk's post?
ps... Justin Mor-YES!
smokin.
I think Ilk needs one of those hats with straws for his beer, so he can get all the great shots he sees! Thanks so much for sending us the pictures, Ilk.
And, Art, those were works of Art, as always!
Thanks, guys! I appreciate the reports and pictures!
Just Beth
Posted by: Just Beth at March 22, 2005 08:38 AMDear Ilk;
Nice pics.
The force is strong in you,
Come to the light side,
Tom Kelly is your father.
Did anyone else notice that Jesse Crain had a HIT today???
And how can ANYONE not like Torii? Is it the annihilating-bitch-sock-catchers thing? Bring on AJ!
NY-Brian
Posted by: NY-Brian at March 22, 2005 09:52 AMVery Nice! The pics are getting better every day!
Posted by: Michelle at March 22, 2005 10:43 AMActually, I'd kill to see just one of the Sox bowl over an opposing catcher the way Torii did to Jamie Burke. That's playing the game hard, not playing dirty. Ozzie Guillen even said so.
So why don't I like Hunter? Maybe it's because he levitates in midair and pulls back home runs. Maybe it's because every time he faces Jon Garland, he owns him. Maybe it's the crooked way he wears his hats. Maybe I'm just jealous!
By the way...I'll be at the game on 4/9. Hope to see some of you crazy kids at Hubert's swilling Happy Fun Drinks.
BSP,
Ilk
>>Did anyone else notice that Jesse Crain had a HIT today???
Not just a hit but an RBI single! They mentioned that he was a shortstop in college. But, unlike Saturday's game, they didn't go into the whole "Wasn't EVERYbody a short stop in high school?" routine.
On a related broadcasting note, I'm sorry I missed the early part of Saturday's game broadcast on FSN. According to my buddy, they were in midseason form analyzing the pitching mound work by the grounds crew. Something about "And if you're scoring at home, it's rake-shovel-pitching dust." to end the commentary.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at March 22, 2005 11:21 AMMan, If it weren't for his name not extending past his shoulders, I could swear that top pic of Rios is our departed Minty. He's even wearing the same number!
-amr
Posted by: amr at March 22, 2005 11:32 AMIlk,
I hate the "Lou Costello crooked hat syndrome" too.
Guzman was the worst.
Posted by: Me at March 22, 2005 12:05 PM"As an aside: Sox fans:Buehrle::BatGirl:LeCroy"
Ilk, that cracked me up! LOL! I rudely forgot to mention that I adore the pics you took and the letter to BG as well.
It is heartbreaking that they gave someone the #16. I needed at least a year to recover from the 16-syndrome. It is insane how much Rios resembles our Dougie in that pic though...wow!
Posted by: Stacy at March 22, 2005 01:36 PMAs a resident of Southwest Floriduh I'm familiar with The Waffle House. Only down here we call 'em "the awful house". You're better off goin' to Dennys . Better yet, hit a Mom & Pop breakfast/lunch jernt.
Posted by: Eric at March 22, 2005 03:34 PMI too thought that was Minky at first.
I can't figure out why Gardy left Crain in to get his hit. I've been reading that Gardy has been quoted as saying he's "tired of losing" the spring games. So the game is tied and he has a runner in scoring position and he leaves his pitcher in??? I mean, he has TONS of extra players on his bench - and general wisdom gives even Denny Hocking a better chance of getting a hit than Crain. (Sorry, I was trying to think of a super-sucky Twin and I had to go into history to get the level of suckiness I wanted)
Why does Gardy do that?
NY-Brian
Posted by: NY-Brian at March 22, 2005 03:38 PMNot that I want to change the subject, but I have two points to make regarding the Bonds article today (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2018994):
1) Who would have forseen this chain of events:
Bonds: No I never took steroids, and if I did, I didn't know and I
wouldn't use them.
MLB: You know, we're imposing stricter testing standards.
Bonds: Maybe I'll take the season off...
and 2) The San Francisco Giants trainer's name is Stan Conte? Am I the last to know this? Any relation to Victor?
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Bat-ness. Apologetically yours,
YankeeFan
Posted by: YankeeFan at March 22, 2005 04:08 PMDearest YankeeFan,
I also thought the Conte thing was a little weird. Not really too common of a last name as far as I know...
Posted by: Stacy at March 22, 2005 06:45 PMYankeeFan: The same thought occured to me about Bonds. Most likely it's really the knee, but you've got to wonder. He hasn't exactly gotten smaller.
Maybe this is not good to say or even think since injury is the only possible way to prevent it, but I truly hope Bonds does not break Hank Aaron's record. That will be revolting when it happens.
Posted by: BadAndy48 at March 22, 2005 07:51 PMFunny story from CBS Sportsline.com:
"Here's what the Twins think of popular designated hitter Matthew LeCroy, a down-home boy from Belton, S.C.: They've seen his act so often that they didn't even bother to toss in money early Tuesday morning to get LeCroy to eat a cockroach. Yep, you got it. Been there, done that. It was in Kansas City last season when LeCroy earned several hundred dollars his teammates put up by eating a live cockroach. LeCroy, a fun and obviously bug-loving kid, said something about having to put his kids through school somehow, so it was worth the money. Well, early Tuesday, a cockroach-looking bug popped out of one of catcher Joe Mauer's Nikes in the clubhouse and there quickly was talk of collecting another pot of money. LeCroy danced over the bug, taunted it, even picked it up, put it onto a plate and invited it to crawl through some leftover butter. But alas, knowing it would be a money-losing proposition, after roughly 10 minutes or so of hooting, the Twins lost interest in daring their DH and never did get much of a money collection together. Lucky bug."
Posted by: Eric at March 22, 2005 09:11 PMYou can only eat so many bugs, before the other kids tire of it; when is Matthew going to learn this simple fact of life? I've heard that even the bugs are laughing behind the big guy's back.
Posted by: al at March 22, 2005 10:31 PMMaybe he's on a diet.
Posted by: Me at March 23, 2005 09:00 AMEric,
Perhaps your contempt for the Waffle House is based on the fact that you've never partaken in 3AM cheezy hashbrowns to the tune of "Unchained Melody" sung in chorus by your friends, four truckers and a fry cook. If so, I ask that you reserve judgement until you've fully experienced that establishment.
Thanks,
Florida
-Melbourne native and former patron of the Waffle House at the US192 exit of I-95.
Mmmm, Waffle House. Oooh, if anyone down in Florida for Spring Training would bring back 2 or 3 Whataburgers with cheese, well, I'd pay handsomely. No Waffle House. No Whataburger. No Sonic. We're so culinarily (is that a word?) challenged up here.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at March 23, 2005 11:54 AMFlorida:
Waa-waaa-whaaaaat???
I am completely befuddled as to what you are commenting on...
Posted by: Eric at March 23, 2005 02:29 PM