I feel that nobody except the Chairman himself would be a better running mate for Johan. I mean...he's already a chairman. He's got the looks to presuade anyone who is undecided. MN worships him, so he's got at least 1 state in the bag.

Santana/Mauer in 2004: "Sit Down Bitch, and vote for us!"

After yesterday's game, Brad Radke has to be second on that ticket.
Santana/Radke: Smells like victory...Bitch.

What a great game. I was fortunate enough to attend and it was fantastic. Plenty of drama, we sat on the edge of out seats until the end and with Doug not in the lineup I was spared the mixed emotions of him playing against us.

I fully support the Santana/Mauer "Sit Down Bitch, and vote for us!' campaign.

But the more important question, dearest Batgirl.
Will there be bumper stickers available for purchase?
I would gladly donate money for one that would help purchase wood and nails. Then Johan can build houses for all those poor ball players he drives into retirement by sending them crying back into the clubhouse.

Thoughts on the game:

Johan was AWESOME! Especially after the second homerun, he seemed to find another gear. How many Ks did he have where the batter just stared at a changeup as it drifted past? At elast 5 or 6.

I'm glad Pedro didn't lose it; he looked close to the pitcher who was so mind-bogglingly good, and less like a pitcher who's 2 years from getting shelled nightly and calling it a career.

Good games by just about everyone on the team, except maybe Rivas and LeCroy.

Solid D behind Johan, except for the LeCroy error. I couldn't see the replay on the Jones catch near the line, but I thought it was going to be a lot of trouble. McCarty's drive wasn't going to leave the park (from where I was sitting, you could see it was a foot or so short) but still a nice play by Torii, even with the unnecessary leap.

Best game I've been to since... the second game of the season.

I'm leaning toward an elder statesman, one who got his start in Washington, who remains one of the faces that define Twins history, and happens to be the batter in the MLB logo silhouette.

Santana / Killebrew. K and Killer in '04!

Wow, what a game. I sat in dead Center, upper deck (because I'm a poor college student), but oh my, the view of the pitches up there is mind-boglling, especially with these two. On more than one occasion,Pedro threw a slider that started behind the batter and then found its way into the strike zone.

Now, believe it or not, I was not worried at all when we went down 3-2, for you see, I have a secret weapon. It is a mighty weapon indeed, that produces runs when we most need them. Yes, I have the power of the RALLY RAG! Earlier this year, after the bullpen blew one of Lohse's few good games, and the Twins were down 2 in the 8th, I busted out the rally rag, and 4 runs later, Nathan is on for the save.
Fast forward to a game against the Mariners. We need some runs for insurance, on goes the rally rag, and lo, 3 runs.

So it came to the bottom of the eighth today, and I said "Fear not fellow Twins fans! For I shall doth thy rally rag!" And I did. And the Twins scored two runs, bringing the rally rag total to 9 runs in three innings of useage.

Then, of course, Joe "My ERA is Lower Than Yours" came in and got an oops-2-3 ninth, and all was right in Twinsville.

As for the ticket, I see no combination better myself than our two dominant pitchers tonight.

Santana/Nathan in '04

I think that the time has come for a female vice president...I nominate BatGirl for Johan's Veep. I mean think about it, with her amazing powers and her skill at Lego-mation, Al-Qaeda would be scared sh*tless.

Santana/BatGirl in 2004!

Having a Twin veep would be cool and all -- for us. But to win the election, we need a candidate from another part of the good ol' US of A. All things happen for a reason.

Santana/Mientkiewicz
And to the rest
Sit down, Bitch!

Greetings from New England,

RD spent the afternoon reading outside the New England cabin listening to the game with Red Sox announcers Joe Castiglione and Jerry Trupiano, whose names I would love to hear Gordo and Dazzle pronounce. They are a delight. They love Torii Hunter, starting raving about him when he robbed McCarty of his homer: "So cool! So calm! So collected! So great, a Gold Glover in center field." The decreed Johan the best lefty in the AL right now, give or take a Mark Mulder, and treat the game was a respect that's quite anti-FOXian. (I am not getting into comparisons with our guys. Don't even go there.) They know players on both teams and were having a fun time cutting up on Matty Go Boom. "He looked like he was in better shape during spring training." You could tell they were having quite the fine time with today's game, and were frustrated with the sac fly/flubbed relay that cost their team the game. They also made it clear that they loved the double steal that set up Morneau's fly. "This team has guts on the bases."

Odd game, this baseball. Mr. Anna Benson gets roughed up bad in his first start with the Mets and the Red Sox fielding improvement at shortstop makes poop of the relay that allowed Lewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww to break the tie. Those are cautionary tales for those still bitter about Terry Ryan's lack of dealing. It doesn't always work.

The Boston announcers rarely let a Lew Ford moment go by without mentioning that the Twins picked him up for "Hector Carrasco! That wasn't exactly a deal that worked out."

Enjoy the week, all.

I'm trying not to be bored watching the Giants/Cards game.

Anyway, I think either Santana/Nathan (the Nathanator seems appropriate, since a Terminator is Governor) or Santana/Bradke. I'd put my campaign dollars behind that ticket.

Ok, not paying enough attention to the Giants (who are losing) so I have to go.

Dearest Bat-girl,

Hadn't Orlando Cabrera done enough to my White Sox this year? Will his foul deeds never cease? Is he on his own crusade against my Pale Hose? Did Jerry Manuel leave a scar on his cheek while he coached Montreal? What unwitting insult made him play Montresor to our tipsy Fortunato?

Bricked in second place,

-Shoeless Joe

My vote is for Rick James as VP.

Then you've got "Sit Down, Bitch" and "I'm Rick James, Bitch" as your bitch-slapping ticket.

Dear readers,

Batgirl could, in fact, arrange bumper stickers and buttons. Keep the nominations coming, and we'll have a poll.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

SantaNathan in '04!

Normally, I'd be all about the Johan/Chairman ticket, but alas, I fear it is not to be this year, seeing as how, sadly, the Chairman seems to be sitting this one out. Right now, the choice boils down to the either Nathan or Radke... An all starter ticket? Or a starter and The Closer?
Radke has been influential on Johan-where do you think he learned the finer points of hte changeup? Then again, Nathan might be the only person who can challenge Johan, Sit DOWN, Bitch for Sit DOWN, Bitch.
The 98mph fastball high and tight v. the 74mph change on the outside corner... the difference is dramatic, but the results are usually very similar.
I think the Veep pick will be too close to call... but either way, sign me up for the bumperstickers and buttons

Bubblemint is right: Santana/Nathan in 2004. It maintains the purity of the campaign slogan. (Compare 'em. Kerry: "A stronger America, respected in the world." Bush: "We've turned a corner." Nader: "Keep Bush in office." Picard/Riker: "Make it so." Santana/Nathan: "Sit down, bitch.") No other Twin does as much to keep the Santana campaign on message as Josiah "Automatic" Nathan. Plus, the vice president's only real job is to cast a vote in case of a tie in the Senate - the legislative equivalent of a close situation.

Further, respected ex-Giant Nathan should help the ticket carry California. Cali plus Minny is 65 electoral votes, which is almost a quarter of the 270 needed to win. Heck, the way Santana and Nathan keep opposing numbers down, 65 electoral votes could be all they would need to win.

Although I will be casting my vote from across the ocean this fall, I still have the right to put in my 2 cents, yes? I believe that we have all overlooked the one player who, as VP, can assist Santastic in uniting the world, the one player who may be as personality-challenged as our current VP: Mr. Cordell Koskie. Oh, sure, he's Canadian, but let's not trifle with the details. While Santana brings finesse and a wicked assortment of pitches, Koskie brings brute force. Either you sit down, Bitch, or we'll kick your ass. Works for me.

"Happy Birthday, Sit down bitch!" -Johan K. Santana

A direct quote to opposing batters, according to Terry Mulholland in todays Pioneer Press.

best idea ever. I'd wallpaper my room with those bumper stickers.

Ironic note. Johan is from Venezuela, right? His fellow countryman Melvin Mora is considered a legitimate option in the upcoming national elections and he's open to the idea.

Also, Mauer as running mate would kinda parallel Cheney. One has a bad ticker, the other a bum knee.

My vote goes to:
Santana/Nathan '04
Sit Down Bitch & Sit Down Some More Bitch

TW1NS

What a great idea, bumper stickers! Rocker panel stickers, side and front stickers.........I can use a bunch, as bondo just doesn't cut it anymore. Yodi/Joe sounds like the perfect ticket and fix-all to me. Much better than duct tape.

To Batgirl, the BatCommunity and the Minnesota Twins:

Thank you for:
1) providing this forum where most of the posters are knowledgeable and friendly baseball people; and
2) your part in helping to drive the other sox 9.5 games back.

Very appreciatively,
YankeeFan

P.S. Would anyone care to explain to me why a particular team would trade FOR Freddy Garcia (sending the message that they are going to compete) and then trading Esteban for Contreras, (effectively saying "nevermind")?

Gawd, it's great to be in New England when the Red Sox lose. Remember how Grady Little got pilloried, and then fired, for keeping ace Pedro in for too long in Game 7 against the Yanquis? Well, of course, in today's Boston Herald, one of its columnists (Karen Guregian) blasts Terry Francona for yanking Pedro in the eighth in a game "the Sox had to win." Seems like they had to win against the Yanks last year too. You can argue that circumstances were different, but Pedro had thrown more than 100 pitches and blasted his way out of some trouble more than once with the second-best strikeout pitch at the Dome yesterday. How much more was left in the tank?

There's also a farewell to Nomah headlined: "A tired ace. Nomar takes 'phony express' out of town."

(Memo to Dougie Defence: Don't let the a$$holes get you down.")

I'm throwing my support behind a Santana/Nathan ticket.

Or, at least I will be... once I have stopped sobbing and can speak again...

Batgirl, when will the pain end??

Ooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww........

Dear Mr. Fan,

I would answer the question of why a team would trade for Freddy Garcia and then trade Esteban Loaiza for Jose Contreras, but I'm too busy pondering the question of why the Yankees would want a pitcher who has lost 5-6 mph off his velocity and has been horrible for the last two months and chokes in pressure situations (i.e., down the stretch against the Twinkies last year).

Regards,

Shoeless Joe

SJ,

From my perspective, it would seem that the Yanks just traded one unpredictable starter (i.e., could have a 10 strikeout performance or a 10HR performance at any time) for another. Factors they considered probably include (1) age: reportedly about equal but there are questions about contreras' acutal age; and (2) record against the red sox: contreras is 0-4 with like a 28 ERA while Loaiza is 4-2 with aournd a 4.0 ERA.

Not a significant upgrade for the Yanks because Contreras was their 4th or 5th starter...but for the (ahem) Bitch Sox it seems like a significant downgrade.

Rest assured, SJ, that you will not have much more time to ponder the situation. Batgirl and I, however will be forced to tackle the question throughout the ALCS in October.

YankeeFan

P.S. Does anyone else realize that if the playoffs began today, the matchups would be:

Yankees v. Texas
Minnesota v. Oakland

The lack of Soxes is most amusing...

I would support a Santana/Nathan ticket as long as Al Newman gets to be Secretary of the Buffet Table.

Also,

Isn't Loaiza a free agent in the offseason? Perhaps this is the anti-Yanks move -- to free up salary that was going to contreras over the next 2 years... could Mr. Steinbrenner be attempting to prolong the 80's??? Probably not, but a Fan can hope...

Never weighed in on the Dougie thing. I have mixed feelings -- always liked him (drafted him onto my fantasy team and dropped him for lew a couple weeks in) and especially his relentless selfishness and team play. However, the team he now plays for has the suffix Sox in it. Much like the BatCommunity would say their final well-wishes and cut ties to Dougie if the prefix were Bitch...I must do the same. Alas, he is a Red Sock (BatGirl, is there a complementary name for this team? Bitch Sox seems to be taken already) and while I wish him well, I do not wish him too well...

I guess good things don't always happen to good people...

YankeeFan

I think that the starter/closer ticket would be too pitcher-centric. It's better to have a position player and pitcher for purposes of attracting voters, so I'm for Johan/Mauer. I can hear it now:

JS: "Sit down, Bitch!"
JM: "You better just do what he says."

They could put Newmie in charge of the school lunch program and make our friend from the North head ambassador.

And put me down for some stickers.

Dear Mr. Fan,

Enjoy Esteban Loaiza!

-SJ

Batgirl has been working on a CafePress store with Batgirl T-shirts, and she will certainly add the Santana 'o4 campaign materials. She will try to get this all up next week. We'll continue to collect VP names and Batgirl will put up a shortlist tonight for voting.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

I like the Santana leading the ticket, but a position player is needed to round it out. I say either Hunter or Jacque Jones. Hunter is preferred as he is from Arkansas and might be able to swing more of the south. I think Jones went to school in southern California so he has that vote but he isn't as big a name. Still, I would pay money to watch either preside over the Senate.

Santana could always some attitude to balance him out. I say maybe Santana/Hunter '04. "Sit Down Bitch and vote or you'll be Hunted."

OK, well...I really like the Santana/Nathan ticket as well. I am torn.

I don't know why Radke isn't getting more support here. In a VP, you want someone ready to take over the reigns of government (or the rotation) at a moment's notice. We need to balance the ticket, as there might be those voters out there who have concerns with Johan's lack of experience in public servi-- er, the rotation. Johan's happy-go-lucky domination goes well with Brad's experience and stoic consistency. I would feel most confident in the abilities of Brad Radke to take over as president in the event something should happen to our beloved generalissimo.

It has to be a Santana/Nathan Ticket. As well as Rad Bradke has pitched or as well as Lewis "Built" Ford "Tough" has been - I see no other choice. I was also thinking Gardy should be speaker of the house...

Santana / Nathan, definitely. "Sit down, bitch!" and "Don't even bother standing up to begin with, bitch!"

I'm going with Radke for this one. We need a calming effect on all the "Sit down, bitch!"-iness. An elder stateman, if you will, to soothe the fears of less innovative-minded voters.

Besides, is it really fair to relegate Nathan to a lesser role? He should be out there doing important things. Perhaps Homeland Security?

I'm seeing Hunter as Secretary of Defense.

Santana/Radke '04

Suddenly everyone is shouting "Sit down, bitch!" like a gaggle of 6 year-olds hopped up on Coke & birthday cake, who just learned a new naughty word. Pace yourselves, Twins fans! You don't want to drive a good thing into the ground. We need to retain the power of our incantation for Yankees series yet to come.

Oh, and Vote Santana/Batgirl '04!

Interesting article on ESPN (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=1850117) which lists the Yankees as #3 deadline-day losers and Minn at #4. Frankly, I see the reasoning for the Yanks (going from "we're getting randy johnson" to "further proof that the 80s are coming") but you guys did what you had to do...

YankeeFan

I was thinking:
Santana/Blanco '04.
They both have the same catchphrase (although Henry precedes "SDB" with "You can't steal on me"). Plus, Blanco's got gravitas by being not flashy, not the guy you'd expect to win votes or states, but to get the job done. It would be a team like Bush-Cheney rather than a Clinton-Gore or Reagan-Bush rivalry. Radke would be a rival for "ace." Chocula and Hank would be better partners: one to call games, one to save wins.

Plus, I loved Henry's double (Manny's drop) in Saturday's game. I was pumping Hank all day with my friends. Had I thought to put effort in ahead of time, I would have painted a bedsheet to read "Hank's Heroes" or something.

I was a bit disappointed with the selection of player t-shirts at the Dome though. My preference was Santana, Rincon, Nathan, Blanco, Mulholland, Rivas, Koskie. (I like to celebrate the less-sung players, although Johan is pretty well sung.) I ended up getting Mauer because my friend said he'd be on the team the longest. I'm still thinking I maybe should have bought Ford. The opening day outfield gets enough props and getting a Minty shirt right after he was traded seemed like "only know what you've got once its gone."

BTW, it's Johan A. Sanatana. And the Nathanest of Joes is Joseph, not Josiah.

Dear mr. mr,

Batgirl prefers Johan K Santana, as in "K's" are his middle name.

sincerely,
Batgirl

Heh Batgirl,
I feel like Doug giving way to a much better heckler than I'll ever become. Love your site and ideas.

As too the ticket put me in the Santanna/Blanco camp. I think we need the battery to put a charge in the ticket and one where both guys throw a good(one)liner.
tWINs.

Mimiru here (again!) and home at last.

During the sunday game, I shouted "Ha! Sit Down Bitch!" whenever Johan got a "J." I also wore my lucky outfit (blue jeans, cute red T) and for the third time this year, my outfit and the Twins winning coincided.

One of the most interesting things I heard on ESPN last night was Sports Center describing Johna as a "...lefty who was INEXPLICABLY left off the all-star team..." and I shouted "Hell Ya!"

Oh yeah, let the record show that when Koskie came in to score I cheered "That's CANADA baseball, eh?!"

Dear Mimiru,

I hope there were no small children seated nearby.

It's humbling to see that so many people jumped in on my suggestion for Nathan as Johan's running mate =3

Oh, and for whoever was mentioning Nathan's pitches, don't forget that NASTY slider he has that ranges from 87-91 mph. The amount of movement on that thing at that speed is SCARY!

I'm behind Santana/Mauer for '04. Go Twins Nation! Some further appointments:

Hammerin' Hank Blanco - Department of Homeland Security (24/45 caught stealing as of Tuesday morning, stay tuned for further updates, sit *down,* bitch.)

Al Newman - Intelligence Director

Lewwww Ford - Drug Czar (oh, come on, like you didn't suspect)

Jim Kahmann - Department of Health/Human Services

Terry Mulholland - Veterans' Administrator

Iron Mike Cuddyer - Army Reserve

Brad "Red Bull Gives You Wings" Radke - Federal Reserve Chairman (.73 walks per 9 innings in 2004)