Unbelievable...

Lohse (1) didn't have an anxiety attack, and (2)shut out the Royals in a CG; the top of the order brought their bats to the clubhouse; JoMa went 4 for 5; we scored 12 (twelve!) runs; and the Angels put a hurt on the White Sox. I'm so happy that I could shed diamond tears, refracting the light from my laptop into beautiful, beautiful rainbows.

"...when those complete game shut-outs come in one big ol' series basket, well, that, my darlings, is what makes America great."

"...sleepier than a Fuddruckers in Bombay."

Your recap is inspired Batgirl.

Actually, I believe "Fuddrucker" means something completely different in Bombay.

Dear Batgirl,
My comuputer didn't read your trademark "TM" thing right, so it looked more like "Dennys Smothered Cheese Fries & Trade Reyes." After reading five of these "& Trade" comments, I thought there must have been something about a trade in his past. And then I started laughing at that, that "and trade" was Dennys's _other_ middle name for some other reason that you had made up and just not felt necessary to mention. Then I realized it was code for (TM) and I started laughing at myself.

Short story long, Thank you for being as funny unintentionally as you are intentionally.

Sincerely,
amr

“Mr. Dairy Queen” is spot-on. I’d like to blame it on the not-so-subliminal messaging of the ad banners behind home plate. On countless occasions we’ve been faced with the uncontrollable urge to make a DQ run during a slow 5th inning. We come away $7.33 poorer, but as addictions go, it’s still pretty cheap.

Funniest thing I've heard in the last two weeks: "Cracker Barrel LeCroy." And this includes a conversation with Dave Eggers on a train in Holland and countless wacky English translations at museums in the Czech countryside. ("... used the castle as a haunting lodge ...")

"Cracker Barrel LeCroy." It works on so many levels, really. He resemples a CB patron. His nickname is "Country" and CB is a country restaurant. He runs like a rolling barrel. Heck, he's even shaped like a cracker barrel. As Homer said, "It's funny because it's true."

I've often thought about what music I'd like the stadium to play if I was a Twin coming up to bat ("Guns of Navarrone," by the Skatellites) and now I have a new ballplayer fantasy: being nicknamed CulverScott. Then I could take Cracker Barrel LeCroy out for a fried cod sandwich or a butterburger, and he'd say, "Man, this sure beats the meatloaf and mashed potatoes at my place."

Of course Chuck E Cheese would be Mauer's favorite restaurant. No Summer of my youth was complete without a trip to both Chuck E Cheese and ValleyFair.

***non-baseball related tangent ahead, thar she blows***

Speaking of Chuck E Cheese, didn't they have a similar competitor named Showtime or Showbiz Pizza? They also had a highly kid-centric atmosphere if I remember correctly, with lots of video games, skee-ball, and evil animatronic robots that existed only to come to life every once in a while to burst into song, mime playing instruments and give me the willies; sort of like those wind-up monkeys that play the cymbals only bigger.

Anyhow, I never wanted to go there as a kid because the only commercials I ever saw for them showed a pizza with green peppers and other yucky vegetables on it, and so I thought *all* their pizzas had green peppers and other yucky vegetables on it.

Good memory, Thanh. The two chains merged in the late 1980s after they (I assume) found out there wasn't enough business to go around for both. And there was a band there, featuring odd characters (bear, moose, yak, Sean Bergman, etc.).

It's been a great sampler series. Too bad I worked most evenings so that I had to hear about the yummy mozzarella stix later; but this brought back memories of having them at a local Damon's while trying to find (remember?) American Basketball League games to watch. They tended to be on Fox Sports Antarctica right after penguin wrestling, I seem to remember...

Point No 1. If Mauer is going to be named after a restaurant from our youth, there is one more that immediately springs to mind - The organ place. Tell me, dear god, that someone else remembers the organ place. It was a pizza place (not Shakey's, much cooler than Shakey's) and it's only attraction was that it had a monster large organ that some guy played. Gawd, I would have loved to have seen that business plan.

I need a name people. Work with me.

Point No. 2. Denys Sampler Platter reminds me of one of the greatest lines in the history of Cheers. When presented with a bag of raw baby carrots..

Norm: What are those?
Rebecca: They're vegetables.
Norm. They can't be vegetables. There's no breading.

That's no chintzy plastic basket, that's real crockery. (I just wanted to say crockery.)

>The organ place.

Like liver and stuff?

>evil animatronic robots that existed only to come to life every once in a while to burst into song.

If you're ever bored and making up stories, you can tell people that your job is to choreograph the song and dance numbers for animatronic bands at kid's pizza places.

Did anyone else feel sorry for the Royals? I mean, a group of young talent, playing hard but getting whupped? Sounds like a team we all know and love not all THAT long ago. I hate to see a team have so many problems that they aren't even competitive. There's got be talent on that team that's going to fall by the wayside because of issues resulting from this season. Sad.

Dear Mr. Geek,

Um..My Pi? No, I don't know. Hmmm.

Dear Mr. P,

Yes. Absolutely. It was sad. They were fun to watch last year. They'll be good again, but that sot of sucklitude should only be wished on Yankess and Bitch Sox.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

Twins Geek - I have a vague recollection of something like what you describe, but I bumped into a lot of things headfirst when I was growing up so I could have a lot of memories of things supposedly from then that simply didn't exist.

I typed the words "pizza" "giant" and "organ" into google and got a number of results. Click my name and see if that's the one you're thinking of. It references a place called "Organ Grinder Pizza" but from the looks of it was located in Portland, OR.

Maybe the Geek is trying to recall "Pipe Organ Pizza." There still is one in Milwaukee, apparently. There used to be a place called "Pizza & Pipes" near where I grew up in Washington state, too.

I appreciate the efforts, but all you've done is convinced me that I've finally gone over the edge. The memories of that place always had a bit of a surreal quality to begin with. It wouldn't take too much to convince me that it was all a dream.

Or perhaps the mushrooms on the pizza were special.

John,

In the '70s, we ate Pop Rocks and Pixie Stix, and I think there even may have been PCP added to the Sugar Smacks, until all the wacky shit we saw on H.R. Pufnstuf, Land of the Lost, and the Bugaloos seemed like *normal*, everyday scenarios. That was our world. I have no doubt that your dreams of visiting a grand pipe organ pizza palace are real.

Would the pizza and pipe organ place have been Cicero's by any chance? I had my high school graduation party at Cicero's in Brooklyn Center in 1977. They were popular in the late '70s then bit the dust. Think they had a couple in the Twin Cities area.