And a Devil Ray.
(Thanks to Stacy for the heads-up.)
Batgirl's friend Media Guy sends this old intro to the Max and Maloney show, starring one Mr. Bob Casey.
Click here. And NOOOOOO smoking.
EDIT: And Batgirl's found one more.
Oh, my darlings, the time will soon be nigh. The winter has been dark and dreary, but soon sunlight will be upon us all. The Twins season starts on Monday and we may all live again.
With the dawn of the season comes the dawn of Batgirl '05. A few changes this year: Batgirl will post open threads for every game. To prevent the dreaded condition known as Blogger's Burn Out (See: DSM-IVR) Batgirl will not be writing game recaps over the weekends this year, but will be back and open for business Monday mornings with weekend recaps. There will still be open threads, though.
Monday, the Twins open the season in Seattle at 4:00. Please join Batgirl at The Bulldog to watch the game. If you have work, I suggest calling in sick.
Take my hands, my friends, for baseball is back and there is much rejoicing in the BatQuarters.
A letter from Art from Fort Myers:
Some thoughts on a strange day at Hammond Stadium...
Bummer: Game delayed a due to rain. What's going on here?
Good: Patti Creem presents a nice check to local charities on behalf of the Twins.
Sad: A moment of silence is observed for Bob Casey.
Sad: The Red Lake victims are acknowledged by the lowered outfield flags.
Bad: Reds 2B Ryan Freel, leading off the game, hits a screaming, and I mean screaming, line drive over my head. Two rows behind me, and one seat over, a young girl, probably 6-8 years old, is seated between her parents. The ball apparently struck her flush on the right side of the face with a sickening thud. Gasps. Silence. Then, after an interminable pause, the joyous sound of a child crying. Parents, you know what I'm talking about. If they're OK enough to cry, the odds have improved to the point where you are no longer required to fear the absolute worst. It did not appear she was cut, and hopefully the only residue from the event will be a bit of a headache. No news in the paper this morning, so we're hoping for the best. Our prayers are with her.
Sad (In a different way): Through 5 innings the Twins have mustered the sum total of 2 hits (Rivas & Ojeda) and are losing 1-0.
Both hits were singles... drag bunts down the 1st base line. They were accomplished only through the utilization of Gardie's all-time favorite maneuver, the head-first slide. I wish my vantage point allowed a view his reaction. Also, due to the lack of action to that point, I decided to enjoy a bag of peanuts at a ball game for the first time in more than 20 years. Hence, no pictures.
Bad: Luis Rivas gets an error. They play this guy for his defense?
Good ( and funny): Newmie explaining to fans wearing caps and/or shirts from other teams why they are not going to be getting a baseball from him, no matter how hard they beg or cajole. I swear, if he had no hands, he would be mute. Hilarious.
Good: Twins rally for a touchdown in the 6th. Jacque homers for three after looking really bad on the two previous pitches.
Mauer and Morneau get back-to-back hits off left-hander Kent Mercker. Those two guys in the middle of the lineup hitting lefties is definitely a good sign. Rivas triples.
You don't get to see many triples in spring training, as everyone seems to pull up at 2nd unless the outfielder falls down, or something. Luis was hustling all the way. Lyle was no where to be found and Kyle was OK.
Good: Twins 7, Reds 1
Great: El Presidente on Thurs. More then.
No, silly, not that kind. The bowling kind! Apparently Gardy gets a lot of them; see, our Fearless Leader grabs life by the horns by hitting the lanes. All Batgirl wants to know is, does he have an embroidered shirt?
From Yahoo!:
Ron Gardenhire never hit .300. But he has bowled it.And though he's not sure what his lifetime bowling average is, he knows what his lifetime batting average is: .232. The bowling average, he guesses, is probably higher.
"I can pretty much guarantee it," the Minnesota Twins' manager said. "They're not too far apart."
If Gardenhire wasn't one of the most consistent winners in baseball, he might be one of the more consistent winners on the professional bowlers tour. He surely would be one of the happier guys on the bowling tour.
"I love bowling. I've bowled all my life," he said. "I grew up in a small town, [and] I used to go bowling all the time."
Some images from Saturday's match between good and evil, thanks to Art from Fort Myers. As so often happens, evil, alas, prevailed. But we did get to see Johan make a lot of people sit down.
A few of the fallen. Join the club, boys.
God, I love him.
Normally, I'd use this occasion to make fun of A-Rod, but he was really classy to Bob Casey and so I'll just let this image of him striking out pass without comment.
Oh, and this one too.
Johan gives Batgirl a heart attack. But she's okay now. Really. As long as he's okay. That's all that matters.
Out.
No, really, you're still out.
Justin Morneau is a large, large man,
Little Nicky Punto, not so much.
Legendary Twins PA announcer Bob Casey died this weekend, and the great silence is felt all over TwinsLand. Here is the story from the Strib.
Batgirl will print the comments from this entry and send them to the Casey family.
Bad Andy sent Batgirl an e-mail this morning about Casey that she found quite lovely:
He's one of the things that makes a Twins game a Twins game."No throwing anything or anybody onto the playing field."
"Noooooooooooooooo smoking in the Metrodome! If you must smoke, go outside or QUIT!" (or "go to Wisconsin" or "go to a casino" or one of his other great variations.)
There was the night in 2001 when the fans in left field held their own little Chuck Knoblauch Appreciation Night and he shouted, "If this continues, the Twins may have to forfeit the game. Now QUIT THIS!"
And of course, "Now batting for the Twins, number 34 the center fielder,
KIRBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PUCKETT!" It's easy to forget how popular Kirby was before his fall from grace, but back in the day that call of Casey's was music to any Twins fans ears.I was looking forward to a future opening day - perhaps in 2006 - when he would be able to say, "Now, here's the starting lineup for your WORLD CHAMPION Minnesota Twins!"
The Twins continued their dominance of the Grapefruit League (okay, their slow battle to .500, but it's been going really well lately, once we've started playing, like, real baseball players). Terry Tiffee went 3 for 3 and had two errors, and Juan Castro went 2 for 3 but totally didn't have any errors. And Stewie went yard, so Newmie got to touch his butt. We've got pictures, thanks to Art from Fort Myers.
See?
Okay, we've got you surrounded. Put the World Series Ball down.
On one hand, he broke up a double play.
On the other...
Um, did I mention ESPN picked me as the best baserunner?
Starting at second base, a good day.
Making a throw for once, fabulous.
Spring training proposal?
Priceless.
Please click over to All-Baseball to see an AL Central round-up written by bloggers of various teams, including yours truly, Batgirl--and leave your comments. Batgirl, naturally, predicts the Twins will win it all, including the Stanley Cup and the Superbowl. Adorably, one blogger predicts that Cleveland will win the Central. That's so cute.
In today's game, Gardy used a line-up which suddenly seemed awfully serious all of a sudden, awfully, well, you know-- opening day-esque!:
Shannon Stewart LF
Jason Bartlett SS
Chairman Mauer C
Dr. Morneau 1B
Sweetcheeks CF
Little Sweetcheeks RF
Lew Ford DH
Michael Cuddyer 3B
Luis "I'm Still Here" Rivas 2B
So, in answer to the question in the entry title, "Well, Batgirl, that's pretty damned hot right there." In fact, in the debut of the line-up was so hot, that...well, just look at the box score from MLB:
(No, that's not altered in any way. Thanks to impryvz for the heads-up.)
Click on the BatKitty to visit the store, and thank you for supporting Batgirl.
Batgirl enjoyed this AP picture of a certain story Batgirl's intrepid reporter Art broke a few days ago:
Fans duck for cover as a shattered bat flies into the crowd on a single by Minnesota Twins (news) designated hitter Michael Restovich (news) in the fourth inning against the Florida Marlins (news) in Fort Myers, Fla., Monday March 14, 2005. No one was seriously injured in the incident. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)
Meanwhile, in the comments Yankee Fan points our eye to this story from ESPN
Coming off knee surgery and caught up in baseball's steroids scandal, Barry Bonds said he may not play at all this season -- despite standing on the doorstep of the sport's most hallowed record.The San Francisco Giants slugger also said he was physically and mentally "done," and blamed the media for at least part of his troubles.
"I'm tired of my kids crying. You wanted me to jump off a bridge, I finally did," Bonds told reporters Tuesday, shortly after returning to training camp. "You finally brought me and my family down. ... So now go pick a different person."
That's right. Barry Bonds is going to take his steroids and go home. So there.
Meanwhile, it seems the biggest story from the steroid hearings, beyond putting the fear of God (if God is an anti-trust exemption) in Selig and learning that Dennis Kucinich speaks espanol muy excellente, is the massive PR hit taken by Mark McGwire and his comically engorged head. I mean, all he did was say, "The past is a lie that memory has no return." No, wait, that's Gabriel Garcia Marquez. But anyway, his performance didn't go over very well with, you know, anyone as Newsweek reports. And SI columnist Stephen Canella opines that McGwire is a lunkhead, Jose Canseco may not be such a boob after all, and—gasp!--baseball needs new leadership.
The message of the day was that Congress doesn't trust baseball to clean up its own act, and Waxman brought the hammer down near the end of the hearing when he suggested Selig and Fehr should step down. Selig tried valiantly to portray himself as a steroids hard-liner -- he trumpeted his harsher minor-league policy and quietly accused the players' union of stonewalling his attempts to institute stricter penalties in the 2002 labor agreement. The strategy backfired. Selig, never the most authoritative figure to begin with, was made to look like a weak negotiator who was castrated in the collective bargaining process. (It might help if he made sure subpoenaed documents were free of "drafting errors" before handing them over.) In a room full of power brokers, Congress did little to hide its contempt for someone who didn't fight very hard for what he thought was right.Can Selig and Fehr mop up the steroid fallout to Congress' liking? I doubt it, especially since the commissioner's sellout of the union Thursday isn't likely to put Fehr in a compromising mood. McGwire tried to close the book on The Steroid Era by reminding us again and again that he's retired. This story may not end until Selig and Fehr do the same.
The players are, of course, responsible for what they inject in their own butts, but Selig and Fehr are utterly complicit in the freakish swelling of every cranium in the game. Because the rewards for superstardom are so great, it was incumbant on Major League Baseball to take firm and clear measures to keep ballplayers from artificially inducing greatness. Instead, Fehr fought valiantly to protect the right of players to ingest this crap while Selig happily sat back and watched all the Pepsi commercials those same guys were starring in. As a result they both deserve to be shriveled like one of Jason Giambi's testicles.
Pictures from Art!
You can see chicks with this thing!
AND a report and pictures from Fort Myers from Batling and Bitch Sox fan Ilk. (Perhaps, dear Ilk, you are merely drawn to the Twins during spring training because in your heart, you know they are vastly superior to the Bitch Sox in every way.)
Dear Batgirl,Spring always makes me itchy for baseball. Since my beloved Bitch Sox train in a nuclear waste dump in Arizona, I opt to go to Florida every year instead.
Got down to Fort Myers at about noon yesterday. Traffic on I-75 was a nightmare and I probably saw more Illinois license plates between Tampa and Fort Myers than I do in Chicago. It was Minnesota Day at Hammond Stadium and the parking lots were jam-packed with tailgating denizens from the Land O'Lakes. Not sure if lefse or lutefisk were part of the bill of fare. Wandered over to the minor league complex and watched the Twins-in-embryo known as the Beloit Snappers take batting practice before their game against the Pirates rookies. They're all young crackers.
As I was walking back toward the stadium, Tom Kelly strolled by all alone in his windbreaker and old man socks with a bat in his hand. I asked him if he had time to sign a ball really quick and he was like "I really really really gotta get going" and gave me a dirty sneer. (Please note: I was not wearing any White Sox attire) I hope the old bastard chokes on the grapefruit-sized wad of chaw he had in his mouth.Grant Balfour and Lew Ford were goofing off with the TV camera in the Twins dugout right before the game started. Grant even put the controller's headset on and started moving it around. Would have made a great picture, but I had a beer in my hand at the time. [ILK! PUT THE BEER DOWN--BG]
Radke had a great first inning, and then got into trouble after that. I think he shortened up his delivery just a smidge and it seemed like everything was right down the pipe. If you're a soft-tosser who throws right down the pipe, sooner or later you're gonna get shelled.
No limp visible on Mauer. My god he has a sweet swing...that double he hit was just an absolute rope. He was a little hesitant running the bases...but hey, he's a catcher. (On a side note, I think that AJ has supplanted Paul Konerko as the slowest Bitch Sock)
Torrrrriiii made a fantastic running backhanded stab off a Brandon Inge shot in the 5th. I can't stand the guy [PERHAPS BECAUSE HE IS SO AWESOME?--BG], but there is none better at his position in all of baseball.
I'll be blunt. Nathan looked just rotten. I don't think that anyone even swung at most of his offerings, they were so far outside.
The Twins all in all look like the same pesky, perky bunch that's caused me so much misery these past 3 years. Counting the days until the season!
Sincerely,
IlkPS: They have this restaurant here called Waffle House. There's really good waffles there [YUM, WAFFLES--BG].
ArtShots!
A little more color in his face...
...if not his swing.
...I'm sad.
I'm Rad!
Happy!
Bum touchie!
Maybe if I get a triple, Newmie will touch my bum, too!
Nice try.
Nice try, again.
And IlkShots:
Didn't somebody take a picture of us doing this yesterday?
Somebody get in there!
That's better.
Pitchee.
Hittee.
(Yes, we try to accomodate requests.)
AND...show everyone who's your winning ticket!
Visit the Batgirl Store!
From Sunday's game versus the Detroit Kitty Kats, courtesy of LackofIntellect. and Insider!
Gardy has such pretty handwriting!
If we pick up this bat, will someone take a butt shot?
I can't relax, I'm afraid someone's going to take a butt shot!
No one took our butt pitctures in Triple A.
Don't bother us one bit!
Meanwhile, it was Minnesota Day at Hammond Stadium. Tail-gate-o-rama, and Insider took pictures. Look at all the towns represent! (And is that Paris and Nicole in picture 5?)
Doug and Jodi are pregnant! Doug and Jodi are pregnant! Oh, and Doug's totally fine now, about everything, and he's sorry, and everything just got blown out of proportion, and that whole Red Sox ball thing was just a big misunderstanding, and Gardy's great, and Dr. Morneau's great, and the Twins are great, and Minnesota fans are just the BEST. And Doug and Jodi are PREGNANT!
From the Strib:
"The one thing I really miss most," he had just finished saying, "is the Minnesota fans. They treated me better than the kind of player I was, and that doesn't happen too often."Mientkiewicz doesn't want any bridges burned. The Mets hold a $3.75 million option on his contract for next year, and if they don't pick it up, he'll be looking for work.
The Twins always will be high on his list.
"Hopefully someday," he said, "when I'm 40, and they want me to back up Morneau playing defense, I can go back and do it. ... They know they've got a fan in New York.
Do not adjust your monitors. Move away from the controls. There's nothing wrong with your television set. I mean computer. I mean, there might be--how do I know? I'm not freakin' psychic.
I'm a little leprechaun!
What I'm saying is, yes, the Twins are dressed in green uniforms. You are not losing your mind. I mean you may be, but... Well, anyway, it was all in honor of Saint Patrick's Day. Or it would have been, had Thursday's game not been rained out and rescheduled for Friday night. So, you know, it's like Boxing Day, St. Paddy's Style. And Insider took pictures.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Green.
Red.
As you know, today Congress opened its hearings on steroid use in baseball. In case you weren't able to catch the broadcast on ESPN News, Team Batgirl is happy to provide a reenactment using our exclusive Legovision technology. We hope you find it edifying.
The scene.
The hearing room is totally packed.
This hearing is called to order!
From left to right, Jose Canseco, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmero, Curt Schilling line up to testify.
Mr. Palmero, have you ever used performance-enhancing drugs?
I am totally against the use of performance enhancing drugs of all kinds. Except, of course, for my pee pee which doesn't work so good sometimes.
In a tense moment, Curt Schilling gets up in Jose Canseco's grill.
Bud Selig arrives to testify.
Mr. Selig, what did baseball know and when did they know it?
Selig consults his lawyer.
Mr. Selig? Answer the question!
Have you no decency, Sir?
Last week, Batling BatBandwagoner sent Batgirl an article from the Toronto Star about the new direction of the Blue Jays. As anyone who has read Moneyball knows, Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi, besides being a Corey-Koskie-stealing blackguard, is a protege of one Billy Beane. Or at least was; according to the article in the Star, the Blue Jays are going to eschew Moneyball in favor of Minnyball, which is all very interesting, because Batgirl thinks...
...wait. Haven't you read Moneyball? You haven't? Why on earth not? Well, it looks like we have our next Batgirl's Book Club selection:
That's Moneyball. The book club will commence Monday, April 18th. As you read, please consider the differences between Moneyball and Minnyball.
To read the full Toronto Star article, click below.
FORT MYERS, Fla. - The inexplicable "cult of J.P." appears dead. Baseball Prospectus, the Bible of stats seamheads, has come down hard on the Blue Jays in its sophomorically written 2005 edition.The honeymoon is over. The Jays front office is accused of abandoning
its reverence for the three-run blast. GM J.P. Ricciardi's own stats
geek, Keith Law, a former Prospectus contributor, is viewed as a
traitor.As if to confirm what the Prospectus suspected, Blue Jays manager John
Gibbons confirmed last week the Jays will no longer sit around waiting
for the big blow. Gibbons insists he wants his team to play more like
the small-market Minnesota Twins, who on a similar budget, have been to
the playoffs three straight years."They're aggressive and they play all-out all the time," Gibbons said
yesterday, prior to the Jays' Grapefruit League opener vs. his new role
models from Minneapolis."They hustle on everything. They take the extra bases and they do all
the little things. They sac-bunt at certain times when they need to.
They hit and run. They steal some bases and they're a very good
defensive team. Their pitchers throw strikes."Hmm. The fact that Gibby has the blessing of Ricciardi for this change
of direction must mean the fourth-year GM, a long-time disciple of the
Rev. Billy Beane, has wrestled himself free from the spell of Moneyball.
Somehow, he's been de-programmed.One man who seems excited about the change in philosophy is Brian
Butterfield, third-base coach in charge of baserunning."Running the bases, (the Twins) are the benchmark in the American
League," Butterfield said. "They do it right. They move up on balls in
the dirt. They're a good two-base (advance on a single) team. That's
what we're striving to be."There's clubs we play, we know aren't nearly as aggressive. It takes
the pressure off the middle infielders. They don't have to hold runners
at second base. You can play your first baseman behind some runners. It
gives a team the advantage when you can sit back and concentrate on the
ball off the bat."What Butterfield described as comfortable opponents they like to play is
the way the Jays were on the bases the last several years. They're
working on changing that.But there's more to being the Twins than just what goes on in the three
hours of a game. There's a distinct organizational philosophy that
cannot immediately be implemented just because you say it's so. It comes
from the support of ownership and takes a few years to settle in."Over the last three or four years I've heard a lot of people say, 'We'd
like to follow the Twins or the Oakland pattern, with the mid-range or
the lower-quarter payroll teams,'" Twins general manager Terry Ryan
said. "Milwaukee, Kansas City and even Texas, I've heard it from. Now,
when I hear Toronto say that ... well, we used to emulate the Blue Jays
back in the '90s. It's come full circle."Ryan has solid advice for the Jays' decision-making triumvirate of owner
Ted Rogers, president Paul Godfrey and Ricciardi, if they intend to take
a serious stab at changing direction."It takes patience from the top, because it's not easy," said Ryan,
entering his 11th season as architect in Minnesota. "You're going to
take a pounding for a while if you're going to go that path. And if the
owner will let the GM and the GM will let the manager and the managers
let the players and the players rely a little on scouting and
development, it can work. But it gets a little dicey, because nobody
wants to take that type of length or patience to get it done."(The Jays) have a number of good players coming up from Syracuse and
New Hampshire. You'd like to see a couple of those guys hit. If they do,
all of a sudden you get on a little bit of a roll. Now the fans start to
take notice and maybe things are going the right way you want."The Jays turnaround won't be immediate, but Baseball Prospectus
objections aside, it seems the Jays are finally headed in the right
direction.
First, from Monday's game against the Big Teal, BatCubReporter Art from Fort Myers provides the lowdown.
Today's game was less than a spectacular for a number of reasons. Defense on both sides was pretty sloppy, and the offenses weren't much to write home about either. Cuddyer made a great play on Luis Castillo in the 1st (See images). Later, Rivas botched a hit & run leaving Redmond hung-up between 1st & 2nd. Lew Ford finally singled in the 5th, I think it was, thereby providing the Twins with their first hit of the game. Then Resto shattered his bat, with the barrel twirling into the crowd behind the Twins dugout along the 3rd base line. It struck a lady in the left hand leaving a gash that required stitches at the ER in nearby Gulf Coast Hospital. Other than that, she said that she expected to be OK. I know all this because as I was sitting at the stop light at the intersection of 6-Mile Cypress Pkwy and Daniels shortly after the incident, I looked over at the car next to me and here's this lady holding her bandaged left hand up with a chemical cold pack on it. I was able to get her attention and engaged her in a brief bit of conversation before the light changed. She seemed to be in fairly good spirits in spite of her ordeal, so I wished her well and they were on their way. For the record, she did not keep the "crummy old bat" because of its condition.
CSI: Fort Myers
The Remains
The Victim
Eyewitnesses
Look, Ma...
I'm playing third!
If I squeeze my face up really hard, I might get a hit.
This wouldn't have happened if I'd taken naked batting practice.
Finally, some media attention for Sweetcheeks.
And fron Insider, we have some delightful candids from a muggy practice earlier this week.
TK, frightening young ballplayers since 1986.
Man, baseball would be much more pleasant under a giant Teflon roof.
Some guy in a hat signs an autograph
Some guy with elbow surgery signs another one.
My cheeks are sweet too, but they're on my face!
And finally, Lubberhopper sends this magnificent picture of Tony and Gordette Oliva under an apt street sign. (And no, it's not "Totally-Screwed-Out-Of-The-Hall-Parkway.")
Everything sort of pales in comparison to naked batting practice (and yes, I will be talking about that all year) but here are some non-naked news of note.
First, ESPN.com's Jayson Stark thinks Johan Santana is awesome, and he's written a whole article about it. As mmmarkiep says in the comments, it's nice to read about a player who gets high on life, man.
Meanwhile, SI.com rounds up the team. They don't actually say anything we don't know, and they make too much of The Knee, but they sum up the team's success thusly:
So hard not to come away from a day with this team and not think: "No wonder they win. Good guys, serious about their jobs, very good work ethic, no turds in the clubhouse."
Batgirl prefers the word "dookie" to "turd," but whatever.
Doug Mientkiewicz is now starting for a major media market, and has the press to prove it. The NYT says that defense is underated and so is Dougie Defense. Dougie is to be a calming influence on the Mets infield, though Batgirl assumes they don't mean socially.
Finally,speaking of Dougie, last season the Fab Five shot a special show for Batgirl with Doug, Queer Eye for the Twins Guy. Emboldened by that ratings success, they've decided to take on the Red Sox. (Batgirl notes that the length of her hair has never been specified in a book contract, but she credits her agent.)
It started May 25, 2003, in Cincinnati near the end of a long and losing road trip. The Marlins had just fired their manager, had a 21-29 record and appeared headed for another nowhere season.After a team meeting, in a somber, sleepy clubhouse the morning of an early afternoon game, Redmond headed for the indoor batting cages with his bat, wearing nothing but turf shoes, socks and batting gloves.
Twins infielder Andy Fox, a Marlins teammate then, looked up in disbelief as Redmond headed for the clubhouse door that opened into the cages.
"Are you serious?" Fox asked.
"Yeah."
And the door shut behind him.
Redmond proceeded to hit soft tosses against a screen as teammates took notice, one by one, until laughter could be heard from one end of the clubhouse to the other.
"No one could really hit after that," Fox said.
Until the game. The Marlins scored early and beat the Reds 6-2, with Redmond collecting two hits.
"And the next thing I knew, I was doing it seven or eight straight days," Redmond said.
"That's a long time to be hitting naked," Fox said.
But the Marlins kept winning, so Redmond kept the clothes off his body and his eye on the ball. They won six in a row. Then during another cold streak in August, he did it again in Pittsburgh, and the Marlins went 20-8 the rest of the season to clinch the National League wild-card playoff spot.
Let the caption contest begin.
I'd like to close out our discussion of BALL FOUR today with a few questions. How has baseball changed? Do you think these changes are for the better?
What is the book's legacy? Why is it "immortal?" Did the book change the game at all? Did it change your views of the game?
Do you think a sports book could be equally shocking today, or are we all shocked out?
In case you missed seeing the BoSox game on Saturday Sunday (and really, what could you possibly have been doing that was more important than that???) we've got your pictures right here, thanks to Dr. Jane and Art from Fort Myers.
From Dr. Jane:
Is this man bothering you, Mr. Ortiz?
Hey, Big Papi, wanna come back and play short?
Alan Embree and Nicky Punto.
Bears gone wild.
That's Willie.
Cuddy, apparently secure in his place on the team, shows off Gardy's rookie card.
So, Joe, how's the knee?
Ouch.
Medic?
I don't know. Someone else think of a caption.
From Art from Fort Myers:
Please don't throw it to me, please don't....
Boom.
Boom.
Papi's new shoes.
Hey! I stole a base! Gardy, did you see? Did you see?
No, really. Medic?
Reading BALL FOUR, I wondered how baseball has changed over the years, and what Jim Bouton would think of the game today. Well, Batling Nailbiter pulled up a great ESPN.com interview with him a couple years ago in which he pontificates on Jose Canseco, steriods, and the gay Jackie Robinson. Check it out. What do you think?
Meanwhile, Nailbiter also sends this picture in from a Seattle Pilots website of a certain spring training invitee....
Batgirl watched the games on TV this weekend and has not been this happy since October. At one point today, they flashed to someone in the stands with a Twins hat and a camera--more pictures for Batgirl, one hopes.
Today's butt shots thanks to Fargo. Study up for Name that Butt:2005 edition!
J. Ro lines up for a spanking machine.
Terry Tiffee Butt
LeRoy Butt
Lew Ford Butt
Justin Morbutt.
JD Durbutt.
Newbie Butt.
Non-roster Invitee Butt
Oh, my darlings, Batgirl's got pictures for you. Insider's back and Fargo has sent Batgirl some fabulous shots. A few to whet the appetite today, and then more tomorrow....
From Insider:
If Rod Carew, Tony Oliva, and Paul Molitor can't teach this gang to hit...
Hey, Cuddy, pull the ball, okay? For your Uncle Rod?
Mulholland plays with an invisible ball for, like, hours.
And from Fargo:
Being President is Hard Work.
VP too!
Try being President Pro Tempore!
Hey, for a change, Mauer signs an autograph
Oh, another one!
Here, honey, let me show you how to use that thing.
Huh? Giant Kitty? NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Joe? Um, Joe? Pease...be...careful!
You guys feel old all of a sudden?
I learned to hit with one of these. That's why I'm such a good contact guy.
Tomorrow....BUTT SHOTS!
Batgirl's Book Club will continue Monday and conclude on Tuesday. Please study your texts over the weekend.
Meanwhile, please check out "If Bloggers wrote the classics" at Baseball Toaster. Batgirl saw it and said it was good.
Finally, the Twins are on TV! The Twins are on TV! FSN will be broadcasting spring training games Saturday and Sunday at noon. Batgirl is pretty sure that that, too, will be good.
And speaking of good, a special super thanks to Infield for this FAB Spring Training shirt, autographed by Lew Ford! BatSwag makes for a happy Batgirl.
Batgirl was also very interested in the relationship between the players and the coaches in BALL FOUR (as were a few readers, judging by their e-mails). There's no love lost between Bouton and his pitching coach, Sal Maglie, who is basically portrayed as some kind of half-wit. For Bouton, coaching positions are basically rewards for players who don't make waves when they're on the team. Maglie's primary function as pitching coach of the Pilots seems to be to shout platitudes and cover his own bum.
So, do you think this is fair? Have coaches changed over the years? How so?
The Twins met the Phillies today and, Art from Fort Myers was there with his magic camera, and, ah, well, here's Radke's line for the day:
There was a lot of this:
And then this happened:
In fact, this guy was just kind of a pain in our collective @$$ all day.
But Bartlett got to show off a little glove work..
...Throwing out one Mr. Jose Offerman at the plate.
And Mr. Mauer DHed, and he brought his KNEE with him.
And Shannon Stewart continues to hit up the place...
...we can score, too, Jimmy Rollins. (Just not as many as you...)
Spring is turning into a Bad Deal for the Real Deal, according to this Strib article. Seems like the Real Deal, who has been pitching like ass-crap all spring, has lost his confidence. Mostly. He's still able to give quotes like, "I worked my tail off in the offseason, getting my arm all ready to go," he said, "and I come here and can't find the arm slot. It's frustrating...Real Deal has got to be himself."
Batgirl can't understand someone referring to himself in the third person like that.
Speaking of sucking, Grant Balfour/NoBalls is continuing his annual process of irritating the @#$% out of the coaching staff. He's injured again. Kind of. I mean, he might be okay. He might not. But you never know about these things. It can be so hard to tell. So stop pressurizing him, eh mate?
Meanwhile, the Job-like trials of Doctor Morneau continues, as is seems
he has developed a cyst on his appendectomy scar. Pretty soon, the good doctor will be able to operate on himself.
In more general news, the New York Times reports that the National League is now turf free.
And the hyperbole of the day award goes to Stanley Brand, lawyer for the commissioner's office, who vows to fight the congressional subpoenas of baseball's merry band of 'roid ragers--NOT in order to avoid getting a spotlight shown on MLB's complicity in allowing these players to do permanent damage to themselves, but in order to protect this country's sacred institutions.
"The audacity, the legal audacity of subpoenaing someone who's been a grand jury witness before there's been a trial in the case in California is just an absolutely excessive and unprecedented misuse of congressional power," Brand said."Not even the Iran-contra committee attempted to do that, and when it did, it tainted irreparably the prosecutions that came out of that investigation. Now, if that's what Congress wants to do to advance what it says is the public interest in combating a very serious problem that baseball has confronted, then, in my judgment, they've torn loose from their legislative moorings and they're marauding in an area of the law that has very serious consequences for the judicial system."
Batgirl thinks The Real Deal could learn something from this guy.
One of the things in BALL FOUR Batgirl found most interesting was the issue of how management treated the players. With the exception of the stars, it seems the players had to fight for a decent salary--not to mention the hassles of dealing with moving from apartment to apartment when you're called up or traded, and all the rental deposits lost.
In the background of Bouton's narrative lingers Marvin Miller, who transformed the MLB Players' Association from a relatively meaningless organization into a powerful union. (For more on Miller, read here.)
It was Miller who was responsible for free agency and, ultimately, for such modern day horrors as Donald Fehr, who is surely a swollen pimple on the bum of baseball. Nonethless, Bouton feels the owners have no one to blame but themselves, and after reading BALL FOUR, it's hard not to agree.
From p. 408 of the Official Batgirl's Book Club edition:
The irony is that if the owners hadn't abused the players so badly, we wouldn't have gone out and hired Marvin Miller and the players wouldn't be free agents today. If owners had just doubled the minimum salary, say to $14,000, and given us some extra meal money, we would have been more than content to let things ride.
Batgirl's Book Club commences today. For the next few days, we'll be discussing BALL FOUR by Jim Bouton. If you have any discussion topics or questions, please e-mail Batgirl.
To begin, Batgirl asks, very simply--what did you think of the book? What do you think of Bouton? What do you think the book made so many people angry?
Today, thanks to Art from Fort Myers, we're featuring Exciting Action Sequences from Tuesday's games against Toronto, featuring back-up players! Did you ever think you hadn't had seen enough of Jason Tyner bunting? Well, Batgirl is here to help!
I'm gonna bunt!
Pretty soon now!
I totally bunted!
You can't catch me!
Oh...
...maybe...
...you can...
I'm going to tag this guy!
If only I had the ball
I think it's in my armpit.
I'm going to turn two!
Take THAT, Bartlett!
I'm going to get in shape for the season!
Batgirl's Book Club begins tomorrow. If you have any discussion topics/questions to propose, please e-mail Batgirl!
FORT MYERS, FLA. -- Twins catcher Joe Mauer was scratched from Monday's exhibition game against Tampa Bay because of what team officials described as mild soreness and swelling in his surgically repaired left knee.Mauer's discomfort surfaced after only seven innings of catching over two spring training games.
The soreness and swelling flared up in the knee during drills Sunday. The Twins maintain the discomfort is not a major concern.
Mauer was limited to 35 games as a rookie last season after undergoing knee surgery in April, then experienced pain and soreness after his return that finally ended his season in mid-July.
"He's sore, that's what I've been informed," Twins General Manager Terry Ryan said. "It's not unexpected, but it's not something I wanted to hear."
Mauer will be sidelined for a couple of days before he tries any more activities, team officials said. Mauer will not have an MRI exam at this time.
Batling Neal writes from sunny Fort Myers asking if anyone wants to meet up for the games in the next couple of days. If, so, please say something in the comments.
For those of us who cannot be there, we must rely on pictures, and for that we have Dr. Jane, Infield at her blog (with extra butt shots just for the Batlings!) and of course, Art from Fort Myers. (As always, if you want hi res versions of any of Art's shots, please e-mail Batgirl.)
Art sends us shots of today's much anticipated bout between the Twins and the nefarious Devil Rays, in which many bats were called but few were left unbroken. (Also Resto continued his Fort Myers tear, which pleases Batgirl, and Carlos Silva and C.J. Nit-whatever comported themselves well on the mound.)
It broke.
Another sacrifice to the baseball gods.
The VooDoo That He Doo.
Yer out!
Corky, for the ladies.
Meanwhile, Dr. Jane travels all the way up to the Florida equivalent of Canada to give us these shots, featuring one Cordel Koskie.
Is that....a smile?
Corey, do these stripes make my butt look big?
"You can't get me Koskie, I'm too fast!"
"Hey, LeRoy, why don't you steal home? I won't tell."
He's president of Canada, too.
Really? You liked my butt shot?
There's that smile.
Koskie's car on fire?
Twins v. BoSox, courtesy of Art.
Morneau gets humiliated.
Big Papi goes Boom.
Jason Tyner goes Boom!
I just gave up a homer to WHO?
It's okay, man. Martha got out today. She'll be all right.
Another report over at Infield's blog; she and her merry band of pirates travelled up to the Pirates game yesterday. Batgirl found this part particularly interesting:
The star of the whole show, in my vaguely humble opinon, was Jason Bartlett. He was composed at the plate, recording two hits and reminding us all that Guzman isn't the only shortstop around who can break the sound barrier on his way to first. But we all knew he could hit, we all knew he was fast. His fielding, footwork and positioning in particular, has been the wall between him and a major-league career. In this game he was nearly flawless. He showed range and good judgement, positioning himself well and reacting correctly to plays that happened too fast to allow for deliberation. And if he still struggles somewhat with a tendency to over-throw, his worst lob was still within reasonable stretching distance for the first baseman, and no outs were ever in jeopardy. In sum, he looked like a major-league shortstop, though he was far from it mere months ago. But he, like Cuddyer, will need to repeat performances like this many times over before we truly believe.
If Barlett actually has learned to use his glove, it would be pretty exciting. A shortstop who can hit? How terrible au courant. Meanwhile, check out Infield's photos here.
Also, Frightwig's got a blog! The much-beloved Batling has laid his stakes down here. Better living through baseball, indeed.
Meanwhile, insider is back and has shot some nice photos of Sir Rodney, who came down to Fort Myers to class up the joint.
See, Jacque, when the pitch is above your head, you don't actually have to swing at it.
Nick Punto gets an autograph.
Jane of Mike and Jane sends one more butt shot for the collection, and it is really one terrific butt.
And finally...the ticket lives!
Batling Infield is down in Fort Myers lapping up the sunshine and the baseball. Here pictures are here and her report is at her blog Third Base Line.
Meanwhile, here are some shots from Friday's game, courtesy of His Excellency, Art from Fort Myers:
Good day.
Bad day.
I'm going to hit it!
Wheeee! I hit it HARD!
Chug Chug Chug
Hello, I am Luiz Maza. I am not going to make the team.
I AM!!!!!! I TOTALLY AM!
I'm starting at 3rd base!
I still don't feel so good.
"Duck? Where?"
"No! DUCK!"
"OH!"
I am super cool.
Team Batgirl has always referred to David Ortiz as "Junior" Ortiz, in hopes that it would remind the Twins of their success the last time there was a Junior Ortiz on the roster. But it has been suggested to Batgirl that we now give Big Papi the designation "Senor Ortiz," and Batgirl couldn't agree more. Did anyone doubt when he stepped up to bat with the bases loaded today that that pitch was headed off to Oz?
Well, who needs Senor Ortiz when you have Jason Tyner? Or Todd Dunwoody? Or Matthew LeCroy, sent in to pinch run for Justin Morneau. Poor Justin. First appendicitis, then pneumonia, now this...
(Next game: Sunday @ noon. Starting, your president, Johan K. Santana)
A few entries ago, Insider told Batgirl that Joe Nathan wanted to know why he was vice president instead of president. Batgirl said to tell him to sign with the Twins again, and we could talk. Well, now, let's start talking.
From MLB.COM:
FORT MYERS, Fla. -- The Twins announced that they signed closer Joe Nathan to a two-year contract extension and setup reliever Juan Rincon to a new two-year contract on Friday. The club did not release terms of either deal. Nathan's contract extension carries a club option for the 2008 season.As a first-year closer in 2004, the 30-year-old Nathan converted 44 of
47 save chances and was the Twins' lone representative at the All-Star
Game. He was 1-2 with a 1.62 ERA.The 26-year-old Rincon was 11-6 with a 2.63 ERA in a team-high 77 games
last season, mainly setting up for Nathan.
Batgirl didn't get to catch all the game today, but she was more than pleased with the pitching of Mr. Joe Mays. Do not despair over J.C. Romero's (hereinafter J. Ro) performance--in spring training games a pitcher is often trying to work on something or another, and J. Ro had been clearly instructed to work on sucking as much as possible.
Tomorrow, a split squad. 'CCO will broadcast Radke's start against the Bo Sox at noon.
"Hey Matty? Can you help me with my catching?"
"Of course, young Joe. I'm always happy to help a rookie..."
"Oh man, thanks. Let me put down this bag."
"Okay kid, first you just have to have good form. Your crouch is really important."
"Like this?"
"Yeah, that's pretty good. Now, try catching one. Like so."
"Man, you sure make this look easy...."
"...Wow, Mr. LeCroy, I see I still have a lot to learn."
"It's okay, kid. You'll get there. You'll get there."
Pictures courtesy of Art from Fort Myers. If you want any hi res versions, please e-mail Batgirl.
Batgirl won't be doing game recaps during Spring Training, but rather will be exhibition blogging only. And she's short of words today, because Batgirl is frankly a little verklempt. It's baseball time again, my friends. Batgirl watched a little on MLB TV, enough to see Michael Ryan come up to bat in the first inning with Jason Bartlett on second. He grounded out to first and when he got to the dugout everyone was on their feet to congratulate him for advancing the runner. First person to get to him was Gardy, and Batgirl was moved. Yes, moved. And then on his second pitch of the game Kyle Lohse gave up a double, and, well, it seemed like old times. Let the games begin.
Thoughts?
(Next game, 12:05 Friday. Some guy named Joe Mays pitching.)
The first game of spring training is Thursday at 6:00. The Minnesota Twins will face the World Champion Boston Red Sox in a battle for Grapefruit League glory. The game will be on 'CCO as well as MLB TV.
Make it so.
Yes, yes he is. Ft. Myers denizen and fab photographer Art has sent Batgirl the motherlode of fabulous Spring Training Shots. Here a just a few. If you are interested in hi res versions of any of these photographs, just e-mail Batgirl.
We love to see you smile.
You, too.
Yes, but where's the little alien?
Even though Corey is gone, his yoga program has not been forgotten.
Butt shot.
Knee shot.
Gardy shot.
Dear Hall of Fame Veterans Committee:
Batgirl is very upset with you. Do not cross her again. This is your final warning.
Sincerely,
Batgirl
Gardy clearly seems to be suffering from some kind of sunstroke down there, as evidenced by these quotes from LaVelle Three's Baseball Notebooks in the Strib:
Rain affected the Twins workout plans for a second consecutive day, but pitchers were able to throw in the bullpen after the rain stopped. Wet fields forced the club to skip fielding drills and live batting practice.But it allowed Twins manager Ron Gardenhire to get on a roll when talking about how he and workout coordinator Rick Stelmaszek handled Plan B.
"All we need actually is a retractable roof right now over our bullpen," he said. "If we had that, we'd be set up perfect out there. A retractable roof over the bullpen and maybe we could talk about an all-grass infield, not turf, grass infield. If we had that, we might be able to take ground balls. That's something we're thinking about."
A reporter suggested a tarp.
"That's what we're talking about," he continued. "I said that today -- put a blue tent over that thing and make it retractable and just roll it over. I don't spend the money. I know I could. I tell ya, there are things I could invent, and I'd be a millionaire. But I just like baseball. I don't want to be a millionaire. I just want to play baseball and go broke. Wait till I'm finished. You'll see me driving down the road with the first car that can actually fly -- no wheels. Glass wheels. It never needs tread. Cuts the road to pieces."
Over the years, the coaches have had to whistle at Luis Rivas to get his attention so they could signal defensive adjustments to him. The hope is that Rivas will be more attentive this season and move on his own.When asked if he hopes he doesn't have to whistle for Rivas' attention this season, manager Ron Gardenhire revealed an interesting tidbit.
"I just hope that little guy who sits on his shoulder listens more than he did," Gardenhire said. "That was Nanu. We saw Luis talking to him all the time on the field. All the time. That's a true story. We'd look at Luis, and he'd be talking. And we just knew that Nanu was sitting there. Wasn't it Nanu?"
No. Gardenhire meant to say The Great Gazoo from the old "Flintstones" cartoon, the green alien who would appear at times to talk to Fred and Barney.
Meanwhile, in an article on mlb.com about the fortunes of Michael Ryan, Gardy proved that he likes to make his funk the P. Funk:
When a reporter asked him what Ryan's role would be this season, Twins manager Ron Gardenhire was listening to the classic George Clinton song, "Atomic Dog," play from his laptop computer."He needs to let the dog out in this camp," Gardenhire said. "If he's going to make this team, we need to see some dog in you.