A few entries down, I, Batgirl, linked to an article about the Twins new marketing campaign, and the ensuing discussion proved quite fascinating. The Twins are apparently befuddled by their repeated failure to draw two million fans, despite the team's success on the field. Team Batgirl believes that the Twins can come up with all the snappy marketing campaigns they want, but marketing just isn't the issue. Back in the early '90s, this was a baseball town. Then came the strike, then the great period of Tremendous Sucking, and then just as there was a team worth rooting for, the ownership tried to kill the team for cash. That's right. Kill the team for cash. Now the Twins' brain trust sits around and wonders why people don't come to games?
Baseball lost a lot of fans after the strike, including Batgirl, and the Twins organization did nothing to win anyone back by promulgating all the Tremendous Sucking. It seemed that baseball in general had been lost to greed. And then, and THEN....
Now, the Twins ownership and baseball are trying to emotionally blackmail the fans into giving them a new stadium. But there's no goodwill left. They took all the goodwill, spat on it, lit it on fire, and then danced on its ashes, and then dropped trou and covered the ashes in el dookie. We're pretending the whole contraction thing never happened, but it did. It's sort of like when Aunt Sally kicked Uncle Henry in the nads and then wondered why he didn't come round no more. No marketing slogan is going to fix that. The Twins have done nothing to apologize to the fans, to try to get back some goodwill, to show they are invested in the communty and the fanbase. Nothing. And if they want to be a successful franchise, they have to.
Discuss.
Gardy's Office, Goober laying out for one, the TC Bear Mosh Pit, T. Ryan, a card for Casey, the charter member of the Nakamura Fan Club, the Mauer Death Strip, a view from the press box, the bat rack, Skorch, the Lucky Spot, and She-Ra with Batgirl.
Yes, my darlings, Twins fest is here. Batgirl shall be going sometime tomorrow, and she hopes all her Batlings in the region will make an appearance. Post your Twins Fest travelogues here, send Batgirl some pictures, and give Johan a big squeeze. Watch the arm, though.
To help pass the hours until Twins Fest, Batling AJ sends the following missive:
I didn't know if I should post this in the DTFC room or with you, but since I believe there is a high quotient of "sass" involved, I think it would be fun to make a list of awesome Twins anagrams.For example, I know Lew Ford is Red Wolf - which sounds like a name he'd
use in internet chat. Twin Ski Jock is our newest addition.A helpful link is http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram
Batlings! Make it so!
The Twins are rolling out their new ad campaign; this is Twins Territory. Twins execs are hoping this will put people in the seats....What do you think?
From the Strib:
As TwinsFest, the team's Hot Stove carnival, begins tonight at the Dome, get ready to hear a lot about "Twins Territory."It's an advertising agency created designation for a longstanding marketing region -- from Aberdeen to Zumbrota, from Bismarck to Burnsville -- in which the Twins have sold themselves and had their games broadcast since 1961.
But, recently, it's been a region that -- while regularly watching Twins games on television -- has shunned buying tickets to attend Twins games.
Twins surveys and anecdotal evidence reveals many reasons.
Busy families claim they don't have the time to carve out a summer's night for a game. Many customers abhor the Dome and on lovely days stay away.
There is a perceived hassle of downtown Minneapolis parking, even as light rail has arrived at the Dome's front door. Years of team management trashing the Dome -- while unsuccessfully lobbying for a new ballpark -- have come back to bite the team's ticket-selling efforts.
So now, "Our goal is to take people from being passive fans to be more active fans," said Charlie Callahan, vice president and creative director at Periscope, which was hired last fall to crank up the Twins' image-making volume.
Ah, Twins Fest is growing near, and the Twins are gathering, gathering, coming closer and closer to Batgirl. The air at the Batquarters crackles with excitment, and the Batkitties have major static issues. Reports come in of Twins sightings from hither and thither--yes, yes! They are in Minnesota, now, the wagons are circling now, bringing our boys home.
Carlos Silva, for instance, has been recently seen in Albert Lea getting his español on with some immigrant and exchange students in Albert Lea.
Minutes later, the Twins bus pulled up in front of the school. Out stepped Silva, accompanied by Twins catcher Joe Mauer, former Twins outfielder Tony Oliva and TC, the team's mascot. Wearing his No. 52 jersey over his street clothes, Silva greeted the students, then stood back as Oliva, the old pro, delivered a speech in Spanish.When Oliva finished, he repeated the message in English for the benefit of Kyung-a Lim, 15, a foreign exchange student from South Korea.
"Here in America, if you don't have a high school diploma, it's very hard for you to get a job," Oliva said. "You finish high school, you'll feel a lot better. Nobody can take it away from you. Learn something. This is a good opportunity for you."
When Oliva finished, he introduced Silva, who was greeted with applause.
"Not everybody gets the opportunity to study in the United States," Silva told the students. "Take advantage of those opportunities. If you let them go, it's going to be harder."
Then the players fielded questions. Mauer, who grew up in St. Paul, confessed to being better at math than Spanish, "but I learn a lot from Carlos and Johan," he said.
"Don't worry about it," Oliva chuckled. "Two years from now you're going to be perfect."
New father Matthew LeCory (Can't type his name right, might as well go with it.) has been recently seen charming the audience in Fergus Falls at a Twins Caravan stop with poopy diaper stories:
LeCroy told the crowd at Tuesday's Winter Caravan stop in Fergus Falls that he's learned to change diapers -- "even the nasty ones" -- and he's got a special trick for dealing with them. "They have this invention called wipes," he deadpanned, "and I'll use a whole box of 'em if I have to."He'll get to repeat the fun -- times two -- next fall, as the LeCroys are scheduled to adopt a second child in October. But by that time, he'll be an old pro at the daddy thing.
"It's funny, because now I'm real comfortable with raising a child, but early on I had no idea what I was doing," LeCroy said. "Now that I do, it's a lot easier. It's just fun now to see them smile, and they're so innocent -- I love it."
I have heard from my Batsources that the caravan stops have been just mob scenes, though Batgirl can only assume most people were there to check on the status of Joe Mauer's knee. Can anyone report in? Was there actual walking? What about bending, did anyone see any bending?
Well, Batgirl was entirely remiss yesterday in not posting that the Twins signed one CJ Nitkowski, late of the Braves and the Yanks, to a minor league deal. The signing is interesting for a number of reasons, as beloved, if misguided, Batling Shoeless Joe writes in the comments:
Shoeless Joe came to Bat-Girl for witty and informative insight into the Twins' signing of lefty reliever CJ Nitkowski (of the Sheboygan Nitkowski, I believe, not the Appleton Nitkowskis). And there is nothing, nothing!You should be concerned about this signing. Not you as a Twins fan. You as a blogger. Nitkowski has his own Web site - www.cjbaseball.com - and post content from time to time.
Please note - Mr. Nitkowski's web site is superior to Bat-Girl in at least one respect. It offers fans the existential choice of "Baseball" or "Christianity."
Forgive me Jesus, but I love baseball.
In other hard-to-spell news, the saga of Doug Mientkiewicz continues. Dougie Baseball, meet Mr. Met.
AND, speaking of Mets, Al Leiter has designed this adorable teddy bear to raise funds for Save the Children's Tsunami relief. Should no one buy it, the Mets plan to pay the stuffed bear $17 million to play the outfield next year.
Mad props to Brad Rad in ESPN's Hot Stove Heaters series; he's Baseball's Best Control Pitcher. Man, two Twins players are recognized as the "best of?" They better be careful, soon we'll start expecting to be taken seriously.
It's just 73 days 'til the Home Opener. Batgirl can barely contain herself. Batling mmmarkiep asks if we should do a BatGathering, and Batgirl says oui! Only problem is, it's Opening Day and if we were to buy a block of tickets, we'd have to do it now. Also, they no longer have general admission in the Official Batgirl Gathering Section (Bastards.) Is this feasible? Thoughts?
Who was that masked man?
Why, it's Torii Hunter as Venus Flytrap in the phat new Nike ads! That's mad props for our own little Sweetcheeks.
Watch it here.
Batgirl was remiss in not posting this ESPN.com story earlier, in which Phil Rogers calls Torii the most exciting baserunner in the game. Indeed, Torii seemed to have developed some rather preternatural instincts in the second half of last year--a far cry from the beginning of '03 when he'd forget to tag up all the time.
But, more importantly, what on earth is Phil Rogers doing? The Bitch Sox columnist has shown no love for the Twins in the past, yet this is the second article he's written for ESPN praising our boys of summer. What's going on here?
I dunno. We upgraded to Movable Type 3.14. Batgirl is e-mailing support now.
Edit: Thanks to the somewhat acerbic Stick and Ball Guy Batgirl realizes the comments are still there, even if it says "Comment=0". Strange. Batgirl is a lover, not a programmer.
Wonder Woman draws Batgirl's attention to this article from MLB.com about some Twins Caravan follies. Lew Ford and Grant Balfour go ice fishing!
And here's a picture that Team Batgirl didn't even make up:
This is cooler than Doom 3!
It is amazing how far a little Lew Ford goes in brightening Batgirl's day.
So, we'll be going to arbitration with 3/5 of our starting pitching. Batgirl thinks we should give the Jackal half a mil, Johan whatever he wants, and Lohse $6.75 an hour.
BatRumor has it that the Twins have signed third baseman Eric Munson, though Batgirl's not entirely sure how much someone who was released by the Tigers can help the Twinkies. Let's hope Justin Morneau's got a nice big glove.
Please don't hit it to me, please don't hit to me, please don't...Damn.
This anonymously-sourced story, about Batgirl's erstwhile boyfriend, appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle today.
One of those now-it-can-be-told stories the White Sox, A.J. Pierzynski's new employer, surely haven't heard: During a Giants exhibition game last spring, Pierzynski took a shot to his, shall we say, private parts. Trainer Stan Conte rushed to the scene, placed his hands on Pierzynski's shoulders in a reassuring way, and asked how it felt. "Like this," said Pierzynski, viciously delivering a knee to Conte's groin. It was a real test of professionalism for the enraged Conte, who vowed to ignore Pierzynski for the rest of the season until Conte realized how that would look. The incident went unreported because all of the beat writers happened to be doing in-game interviews in the clubhouse, but it was corroborated by a half-dozen eyewitnesses who could hardly believe their eyes. Said one source, as reliable as they come: "There is absolutely no doubt that it happened."
No doubt he was framed. The truth is out there.
As tough as a Mike Trombley fastball. Congratulations, guys!
From ESPN:
"I've been saying for some time that my goal for this industry is zero tolerance regarding steroids," commissioner Bud Selig said.A first positive test would result in a penalty of 10 days, a second positive test in a 30-day ban, a third positive in a 60-day penalty, and a fourth positive test in a one-year ban -- all without pay. A player who tests positive a fifth time would be subject to discipline determined by the commissioner.
Twins to El Presidente: We're going to offer you one meeeelllion dollars!!!!
From the PiPress:
The Twins have made their first offer to pitcher Johan Santana: $19.5 million for three years. Industry sources say it could take as much as $48 million over four years to sign the Cy Young Award winner to a multiyear deal.The first year of the Twins' offer is for $4.5 million, significantly less than the left-hander could win in salary arbitration. While the Twins want to sign Santana, 25, to a three-year deal, Santana is seeking a two-year or four-year contract.
The Twins are expected to make a four-year offer as early as today.
First off, WCCO Radio is sponsoring a contest in which the winners get the Twins Caravan to broadcast from their house. Including actual Twins. Like Matthew LeCory and Michael Cuddyer. I mean, not like them, but rather them! In the (ample) flesh! In your house! Batgirl wants this to go to a Batling, dammit. And then she wants a full report.
Secondly, TwinsFest is coming up. You get to tour the locker room. The Twins' locker room. If only the Twins would be there, then Name That Butt could go to a whole new level.
Thirdly, if you love Jack Morris, and you love banquet food, well then, you will love the St. Paul Saints Hot Stove Banquet on January 22. Morris will be speaking, along with Johnny Blanchard and some Saints muckety muck. Tickets are $50 a pop. Here's more info.
Fourthly, if you love the Saint Paul Saints, and you love bloggers, surely you will love BASEBLOG NIGHT at Midway Stadium. It's Monday, June 13, and they welcome bloggers AND their bloggerlings for a mere $8 per ticket. Go to Saints Groups and type in the password "blog."
An operative working for Team Batgirl has gotten an EXCLUSIVE picture of the safe where Doug Mientkiewicz is keeping the World Series ball. But we haven't been to able to discern--what else is in that safe? Terry Mulholland's body fat? Joe Mauer's rookie season? The One Ring? Aristotle's treatise on comedy? Jimmy Hoffa? Is this where Corey Koskie sleeps in the off-season?
What do you think?
Most of you caught wind of this before Batgirl (who made the mistake of being away from her computer for several hours, one which she'll never, ever, ever repeat).
From the Globe:
Doug Mientkiewicz has the ball. The Red Sox want it back. Stay tuned.Certainly you know which ball we're talking about. By now you've seen the video a couple million times.
Edgar Renteria hits a hard hopper bound for center field. Keith Foulke raises his arms, snags the ball, then trots toward first base -- just to be safe. After seven or eight steps, Foulke underhands the ball to Mientkiewicz and the Red Sox win the World Series for the first time since 1918. It is the Boston sports equivalent of Neil Armstrong's walk on the moon. Small steps for Foulke. A giant leap for Red Sox Nation.
After the historic moment, there is a huge pile of happiness and hair on the Busch Stadium infield. Then there is a champagne-drenched celebration, a joyous plane ride home, a parade with a couple million people, and a World Series trophy tour that covers more ground than the combined campaigns of Kerry and Bush. Soxapalooza.
But no one ever asks about the ball. What happened to the baseball that ended 86 years of Red Sox frustration?
"I've got it," Mientkiewicz said from his Miami home Wednesday. "It's in a safety-deposit box with my Olympic gold medal [Sydney, 2000]. We had it authenticated by Major League Baseball the day after the World Series so no one can claim they have it. That's my retirement fund. A guy offered me 500 bucks for it, but I think it's worth more than that."
Batgirl's e-mail seemed to be running 8-1 against Dougie here, though Batgirl's not sure anyone's really entitled to that ball any more than the guy who catches it. If a fan catches a ball someone wants, some nice usher goes out and offers them signed bats and balls and jock straps and other such incentives. Boston doesn't need to go to the media; just pay Dougie for the ball so he can send his kids to Florida State, give Batgirl her cut, and we can all go back to hating the Yankees.
Oh, and Doug, honey, Batgirl loves you, she does. She adores you and your sticky helmet. But sometimes love is hard, and sometimes silence is golden.
Former Twin AJ Pierzynski is now officially a Bitch Sock. This decision may come as a shock to you, but shortly before the signing, our correspondent, Fox Mulder, was once again able to talk to the Twins erstwhile catcher. The interview lends some insight into his thought process.
Pierzynski, just before signing with the Sox
Here is our exclusive interview!
Well, some people may not think Bert is Hall-worthy, but ESPN's Jim Caple, the sage who once dubbed the Twins "America's Team," sure does.:
Koufax or Blyleven? The question might seem strictly hypothetical, along the lines of "What if Oprah could fly?" But really, it gets to the heart of what makes a Hall of Fame career. Koufax's brief span of greatness was enough to get him into Cooperstown, but wasn't Blyleven's longevity also a type of greatness? Doesn't being that good for that long make you great? Or do you just become really, really good?I don't know the answer. But I do know that the very fact that this is a difficult question is a big reason why I cast my Hall of Fame vote for Blyleven this week.
And what IF Oprah could fly?
(Thanks to Wonder Woman for the heads-up!)
In more ESPN linkage, the Sports Guy says the HOF is broken, and he's got a plan to fix it: tiers:
Here's the premise: In an ideal world, the Hall of Fame should be a place where someone could stroll in, spend weeks walking around, absorb everything about the game ... by the time they departed, they would know everything there is to know about professional baseball. Well, the way the place is presently constructed, all the Hall of Famers are sort of lumped together. It's like having a Hall of Fame for models and putting Cindy Crawford's plaque next to the girl who modeled as the "Before" picture in the original "Weight Watchers" ad.So why couldn't we transform it into a five-level pyramid -- seriously, an actual pyramid, like a replica of the Luxor casino in Las Vegas -- where elected players are assigned to different levels.
Meanwhile, as YankeeFan points out in the comments, Page 2 makes a gross error in judgment by pronouncing some other blog as the hot must-read blog. (This other blog Curbed, is actually run by a FOBs, and Batgirl has incriminating photos.) Nor do they call Batgirl "America's Sweetheart." First the HOF snub, now this? What is the world coming to?
On Page 3 of the Strib sports section this morning, Corey Koskie has an ad thanking Minnesotans for his time here. Read the whole thing to yourself in a Canadian accent.
Thank You, Minnesota!!I would like to take this time to thank all the Minnesota Twins fans for their cheers and support for myself and my family over the past six years. The decision to leave the comfort of a community that we love and cherish so much and an organization that we have been a part of for 11 years was the hardest decision our family has ever had to make. Sometimes God closes windows to open doors. I am excited about the opportunity to play for a team I grew up watching.
I would also like to thank Carl Pohlad, the Pohlad family, Terry Ryan, and the whole Twins organization for giving me the opportunity to play the game that I love and to be part of something very special.
To all the Minnesota Twins employees (full-time and part-time), I have seen the long hours you put in day in and day out during the seasons and off-seasons. Your tireless effort has not gone unnoticed. Thank you for all the help you have given me.
And finally I would like to say thank you to my managers (TK and Gardy), coaches, medical staff, training staff and teammates. You have been very helpful and supportive of me throughout my career in Minnesota and for that I am forever grateful.
Remember Twins fans, you put the Minnesota Twins back on the baseball map! This is a great organization so keep cheering and waving that homer hanky.
I hope you have a blessed and prosperous New Year. I’m going to miss you all.
God Bless,
Corey Koskie
(Thanks to Batling Jane for typing this out when Batgirl was too lazy to do it.)
Honestly, though, Batgirl finds herself still a little angry about the whole business. I mean, making money RULES, and 17 million dollars rules a lot (so I've heard.) But, come on, the Blue Jays? Batgirl can see leaving for a team with more money and an equal shot at glory, but Corey Koskie's body parts will have rusted away before the Blue Jays win the AL East. There was something more about these negotiations than we know--Batgirl still isn't sure what the sticking point was, but she's still wearing her grumpy-pants about the whole thing.
On another note, Batling Infield has drawn Batgirl's attention to these cool baseball-stitch bracelets:
The bracelets are sold by the Tug McGraw Foundation to raise money for people with brain cancer. McGraw died a year ago from a brain tumor at 59, and the foundation he set up is devoted to providing funds for research, as well as support for brain cancer survivors and the families of those afflicted.
(Please note: Batgirl's endorsement of the bracelets in no way implies an endorsement of honorary chair Tim McGraw's music, or of New Country in general. She prefers Xzibit.)
Gentle Readers,
Please go read this article from the Chicago Tribune, in which the writer postulates that if Kirby Puckett made the Hall of Fame, so should Albert Belle. Then come back here and tell Batgirl what you think.
Love,
Batgirl
Batgirl will meet any nay-sayers with numchucks at dawn. But I warn you, Batgirl's got numchuck skills.
Wade Boggs and Ryne Sandberg have been elected to the Hall of Fame. As She-Ra, P.O.P, so eloquently says in the comments in the last entry: Bo-ring. Conspicuously left off: Bert Blyleven, Jack Morris, and Batgirl
A New Year's Resolution Suggestion from Batling Chris:
We, the Baseball Writers Association of America, do hereby resolve to get our act together and vote Bert Blyleven in the Hall of Fame. After years of shamefully ignoring his objective accomplishments, which are included below.287 wins, good enough for 25th all-time.
3,701 K's, good enough for 5th all-time. Incidentally, he's the only
player in the top 12 not named Roger Clemens or Randy Johnson that's
not in the Hall.60 career shutouts, good enough for 9th all-time. Everyone else in
the top 25 is in the Hall, except former Twin Luis Tiant (T-21st with
49).He was a workhorse: 13th all-time in IP (the top 12 are all in the
Hall, and he's ahead of guys like Seaver and Mathewson). 9th all-time
in Games Started.In addition, we resolve to take into account subjective
accomplishments and the extenuating circumstances leading to
Blyleven's failure to reach 300 wins, which would have led to his
enshrinement long ago.He had, by almost all accounts, the nastiest curveball around. Dave
Winfield (a pretty good ballplayer himself), called Bert's curve "a
bowel-locking, jelly-leg-inducing curveball."He just has to lead the all-time list in going the distance for a
team, keeping them close, only to watch Rivas-esque players ground out
weakly to short to lose another 1-0 game.He played for some pretty garbage teams in his day, including the
Twins, Rangers, Pirates, Indians, and Angels. Hence the Radke-like
run support.He pitched in a statistically significant amount of hitter-friendly
ballparks, turning a lot of warning-track fly balls into just-barely
home runs.In the 1979 season with the Pirates, Bert ran into an arm-saving
manager, Chuck Tanner, who routinely held top starters to seven
innings and often fewer. Not normally a problem, except that the '79
Pirates didn't have much of a pen (Tanner ignored the arm-saving
philosophy for the playoffs, and they won the Series). Bert lost five
games that year. He had 20 no-decisions (a record).For all these reasons and more, we apologize for screwing Bert over
for all of these years. Like clockwork, he was ignored in Cy Young
voting every year, and to ignore him again would be a crime beyond all
redemption. Bert, we're sorry. And we're sorry Rivas is still in
baseball. That guy totally sucks.
The California, I mean Anaheim Angels, have been renamed once again. They are now the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, or LAAA. Batgirl wonders, could the name possibly be stupider? If so, how?
Batgirl believes that Joe Mauer should resolve to look both ways before crossing the street, to lift with his knees not his back, and never lick paper money or coins. Batgirl believes that Torii Hunter and Jacque Jones should resolve to watch the ball when they take a swing. Batgirl believes that Johan Santana should resolve to stay exactly the same. Batgirl believes that Batgirl should resolve to devote her life to sass, and that BatKitty #3 should stop chewing on Batgirl's pajama buttons at unseemly hours.
What else?
