even if nobody knows it.
At GameDay, we're working on something a little extra this week which you may find in the programs starting next week. It's an insert with the players pictures, vitals, and....
well, that was the problem. What else?
After kicking around ideas for about three-and-a-half minutes, we settled on a haiku about each player and I'd like to enlist the bat nation's help.
Over at TwinsGeek.blogspot.com you'll find an entry with about 20 of them, but it's not like we're married to them, right? So take a stab either below or see what others have done at the other site. Sometime this weekend we'll grab the best about each player and put it in the insert.
Just imagine the joy and awe on your friends' faces as you show them your published poetry! (Or in the case of my friends, the mocking and disdain. And the hateful, jealousy-laden words about my childish intellect and lack of social skills. But maybe that's just me.)
Thanks,
John
Knees creak as he runs
Senior citizen in left
Don't hit it to Kube
High, inside fastball
Brushed back, too close for comfort
Hunter glares at mound
An uppercut swing
Ball lands above the baggie
Went a long way, eh?
Cuddyer trips, falls
Somersaults onto helmet
Magic can't break fall
Little Piranha
Good things in small packages
Punto. Chk. chk. chk.
What the heck is that?
Pat's arm flails, pitch sails, mitt pops!
Batter, go sit down.
On base or as Twin
Will he stay or will he go?
We all watch Torii
Infield hits, great range
Limps onto and off the field
Castillo - don't ask
Scott Baker
Give him one more chance
Nut cup follies should not be
Baker's legacy
Sidney Ponson
Long, curly, flowing
greasy and luxurious
Now that's a mullet!
Ah, Roscoe, you took my subject! How can I top that?
Posted by: Carmen at May 3, 2007 10:21 AMJasons, part I
Slow as molasses
Not that scary at the plate
Impress me, Kubel.
Jasons, Part II
Bouncy and scrappy
Young and quick and not Guzman
Forgive his errors.
Jasons, Part III
Seven fifty six
Has nothing on Tyner's one
Swing for the fences.
Hit hit hit hit hit,
Hit hit hit hit hit hit hit,
Hit hit hit hit hit
head first slide to first
diminiutive super-hero
the phirana bites
---------
mauer to the people
reigning batting champion
the chairman leads us
----------
cy young en fuego
sitting down all the bitches
el presidente
-----------
two bats swing in breeze
got to smell them r-b-i
look out n-b-p
I assume that last one is about Mauer? Here's another:
Like mighty Samson
Joe's strength and hair grow as one
Lengthen those sideburns!
A backup catcher
Opposite field bloop singles
Fans, meet your DH
Two for Morneau:
Fastball middle in
A mighty lumberjack swing
Touch 'em all, Justin
Though he hits home runs
Unlike some sluggers he can
Field his position
Two for Bartlett:
Shortstop, not lazy
After all those Guzman years
A welcome relief
Strikeouts and bad throws
All this we can forgive, but
Where are your tall socks?
One for Cuddyer:
Fans cheer for you now
But please promise never to
Play third base again
And one for Santana:
Changeup dances in
A swinging strike, the fist pump
Is it warm in here?
I'm sorry... but I just love Erik's. Haha.
Posted by: Megan at May 3, 2007 02:17 PMJason Tyner
Eleven hundred
At-bats without a home run
No man muscles here
I alaready posted this on gameday too, but was feeling proud so thought I would share it here too. Of course it is about Michael.
Hit, run, catch and throw
Gymnastics are a bonus
Cuddyer Magic
Rondell White
Last year made us sad,
but we hoped and brought him back.
Stupid strained muscles.
BTW, extra credit for anyone who can do one for Luis Rodriguez or Josh Rabe.
Posted by: TwinsGeek at May 3, 2007 04:09 PML-Rod:
From Venezuela
His elfish grin is charming
Solid defense man
Josh Rabe:
His name is “ray-bee”
Not quite like the broccoli
Nor as many hits
Kicking dirt over
The ump's shoes; careful, Gardy
We can read your lips
Not too many walks
Not many strikeouts either
Sink it like Silva
Joe "Twitchy" Nathan
He is the vice president
Ninth inning save man
The "Boof Man" cometh
Bonser pudgy pitcher man
A few less walks please!
Ok so I'm into "doing" pitchers tonight!
Sideshow Pat. Kneesocks!!
He befuddles batters good.
Has a rad blog too!
Josh Rabe
Quadruple-A ball
is where Rabe belongs at.
Too bad: No such thing.
Mike Redmond
Twins backstop Redmond
Is old-school tough, but also:
league's best nude hitter.
Luis Rodriguez
Some call him L-Rod
Others say he's Gardy's pet.
Me: He's near worthless.
Josh Rabe
Early call-up leads
to many boneheaded plays,
but he's all we got.
Josh Rabe
Some say he's worthless
Well, that's just ridiculous
He's got five singles!
Oh, fifth outfielder
Your purpose is not quite clear
Wish you could pinch-hit
His butt and the bench
It's a match made in heaven
They should never part
O nervous Silva
The flop sweat is minimal
When fastball stays down
Ramon D. Ortiz,
Not quite El Presidente,
Bitches still sat down.
Posted by: Piranhtachew at May 4, 2007 06:26 AMSelf explanatory, no?
Little butt wriggle
Even if you know the pitch-
Nasty! Sit down, bitch
Infield hits abound
Castillo will fake you out
Limp, Ha! Stolen base
There's no long "A" sound
I've got pity for Ramon
Or is it "Ray-mon?"
"L-Rod" must be tired
of the fact that his last name
is shared by A-Rod
Ooh my that sweet swing
Makes the ladies (and gents!) swoon
Mauer, such power!
Johan pulls the string
White Sox, Tigers, Indians
Join the K parade
Rabe
Up from Rochester
Forget inside-the-parker
Hit one out for us
Though I think I like Jon's better
Posted by: adam at May 4, 2007 11:34 AMFor now, we’ve got him
Cheeks so sweet, top to bottom
Climbs walls, bats hot too!
Little man Punto
Guards third without thought of risk
Life or limb be damned
…just in case you ever do a memoriam
Minnesota Twins
Beautiful voice silenced
Herb not forgotten
Rest in Peace Kirby
The boys have your back
They'll bring us a ring
No smoking in ‘Dome
Bob Casey taught the whole world
Kiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrby Puckett too!!!
Cirillo:
Knee needed some work
your right handed bat was missed
Cirillo is back
Cuddyer:
Oh, Cuddy go boom
use arm, throw 'em out at home
that's magic to me
Rayis:
Big left hander
please throw well,like last year
you're all we got
PS I hope at least one of these is actually a haiku. :-(
Posted by: twin-X at May 4, 2007 02:49 PMSorry -edited it and lost part of it.....
Rest in Peace Kirby
The boys have your back this year
They'll bring us a ring
Joe Nathan
Someone please tell Joe
It is not necessary
To load the bases.
Nice susan.
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