Trouble. It starts with a T and that rhymes with B and that stands for bases loaded in the seventh—or at least it does in this tortured allusion that has nothing to do with anything except Batgirl's feeling a little Music Man-ish today. But the point is, there was trouble, right here in River City, or at least in Seattle--with the bases loaded and one out, and Carlos losing his Jackalness, but never fear because the Twins bullpen is on the case. A quick call to the pen, Shaggy Guerrier waltzes in, and—Goodnight ladies—threat over, inning over, Seventy-six trombones, yadda yadda—the whole point is—you may not have a win, but you, Shaggy Guerrier, have your very first Boyfriend of the Day.

Goober/ Justin 3, Sooz/Cuddy 2, BabyDash/Bart 1, Batgirl/ Chairman 1, Readers/Field 1, BatCub/Torii 1, Jeb/LNP 0.