Dear Batgirl

Good Luck in Cleveland. It sounds like John is getting moved around like a veteran left handed middle reliever.

The best way to protect baby Dash would be to surround him with veggies. CC won't go any where near greens

Helpfully
p.e.m.

One option for protecting Baby Dash from the dread Sabathia would be to hire him (Dash, not Capt. Cheeseburger) a personal security agent. I think we all know the right candidate. Who had such success rescuing Mr. Fuzzles? Who can empathize perfectly with Baby Dash about the triumphs and tribulations of being a tiny superhero? Who brightens everyplace he goes with a little song, a little dance, a little unicorn down his pants? Yes! It's.....Nicky Punto, Tiny Superhero Bodyguard! Now With Extra Adorable-Preemie-Saving Action!

Congrats on moving closer to Twin's land!

Just don't let Baby Dash wear a #8 Jersey to any of the games. CC wouldn't be able to tell the difference between him and Nicky (Dash is taller, right?)

Sandee

I'm surprised that C.C. Sabithia hasn't died of a heart attack yet...

http://www.americanlegends.info/

dress him like a carrot. should be safe.

Dress Dash up as home plate. Sabathia won't be able to find him.

I hate the new PiPress website.

Cleveland Museum of Art:

SERIOUSLY, one of my all-time favorites. Dash could hide there for days and days...

Any kind of vegetable would work. Or, dress him like Johan. That might work, too.

Have fun in Cleveland. I was born there, so I've almost always nurtured a soft spot for the Indians.

I can't believe I forgot to send the link to the ESPN feature on my Michael
http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/ivp/index?id=2811906&cobrand=espnsearch&lpos=srch_c1_r1_mvideo

Cover him in fat-free ranch dressing. CC can sense when something is fat-free and it repels him like garlic to a vampire.

dress Dash up like Albert Belle - even Captain Cheeseburger cowers in fear at the mention of old Joey.

They have the two new Twins commercials out! NBP's is too hilarious! Best one of the bunch, I think. Heheeehee...

http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/min/fan_forum/commercials_2007.jsp

The only solution, clearly, is to never take BabyDash to the ballpark. I mean, what if he grows up to become a TravisHafnerMonster fan? Horror! And if not, you'll be dooming him to years of nightmares.

BTW, Boo as the straight man in the magic commerical? Priceless.

Ok, just one question...Your still gonna have your website right? Cause, without Bat-Girl, there will be no Legovision, and that would be really, really bad! But, besides that, I wish you the best of luck in clevland. Maybe one day you'll move back here agian. Oh, and watch out for Dash!

I can't believe you would ever move to Cleveland! I feel betrayed, and I'm sure the Twins do too:( Oh, and if you can get Captian Cheeseburger to wear his hat straight you'll be my hero.

Damn. You realize this means you'll need a satellite dish now to get the MLB package? You'll have to organinze a pre-game beer for anyone attending the ten games.

BG,

You WILL love the Jake, that much I am sure of. We were there for the Twins-Indians last July and it's great park. Also be sure and check out the mini Baseball/Negro Leagues Museum in the building just across the way from the Jake next to the Marriott. Cool exhibits and last year we met Mudcat Grant there signing his book! :)

Let me know if plan on any Twins/BG gatherings at the Jake.

I always enjoy catching a few there over the summer.

I hear that Cleveland rocks. Ian Hunter wouldn't lie.

As for keeping Dash safe, just sit in the upper deck. I don't see Sabbathia taking all those stairs.

Helpfully,

- Kurtis

At least you'll back in the AL Central! No more living in the AL Least. (I know that's not true, but I'm going to call it that because it's overrated.)

Tell Dash not to try to bunt off C.C. He hates it when people do that because it means he has to move.

Congrats to Jeb on the new gig. Case is a fine, fine school.

BabyDash will be much better off in Cleveland than Boston. Tribe fans have a more good-natured fatalism than the BoSox ones. Be sure to take trips to the West Side Market...Dash can learn everything from Vietnamese to Russian to Polish to a good Ohio flat-accent.

Plus, you'll be able to refill Stadium Mustard at any grocery store!

Yeah, just dress Dash up as a bunted ball. Worst case scenario, Sabathia will just throw him at Torii Hunter. You could do worse than to have your child thrown at Torii Hunter.

oh man, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thinks that new website is a pain in the ass!!! But I hope you enjoy the summer in Ohio, BG! I may be out there visiting my gramps so I'll let you know! I like Ohio actually and the housing prices are pretty good in most areas.

and as tempting as the vegetable costumes are, I would avoid anything even remotely edible as a disguise for young Dash - you never know when someone will convince CC he needs to go on a health kick for a day or two. *shudder*

I too am up for Twins/BG parties at the Jake.

Hide dash in the R&R HOF--lots of nooks and crannies their--great exhibits too...

Agree with others--the magic ad is priceless.

DAM

Dress him like a can of Slimfast.

Dear Batgirl,

As a native Buckeye, I can tell you that Cleveland is not as bad as some people would have you believe. The Cuyahoga River seldom if ever catches fire anymore, and it's been 30 years since the city last went bankrupt. Plus, with all of the factories shut down the stench has abated considerably over the years, except when the Browns play.

Twayn

I think this calls for nature's version of aversion therapy.

The monarch butterflies came up with this first, but here's the variation: Dress up cheeseburgers to look like Dash. Make the cheeseburgers taste horrible (perhaps Dash's Pampers have a use here). Place the doctored cheeseburgers in the Indians' postgame spread.

CC will forever associate Dash-looking cheeseburgers with horrible taste sensations. Dash can safely crawl the streets near the Jake in safety.

Well, at least in safety from Capt. Cheeseburger, anyway.

Humbly yours,

tgd
who still wants to know who Dash's BF is so I can blatantly front-run w/ the kid.

Oh, and the hint about the PiPress category was quite subtle. The appropriate vote has been cast ;-)

Humbly yours,

tgd
who lives with an author / childrens' book reviewer / Mets fan. Two out of three ain't bad.

Go! Vote for Batgirl!!

WWW.SI.com/twinsvote

Just don't ever deep fry your child and you should be fine. (Thats an excellent parenting tip for anyone BTW!)

Good luck Bat-family!

My vote has been cast as well.

Also, be sure to make a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame when you get to Cleveland. Definitely worth the price of admission, but do try & go during a midweek day when the crowds are not so large.

Also, dear Batgirl...can your close, personal friend give us any idea when Volume 2 of the inevitably award winning series will be available? My niece is asking me every time I see her.

And be sure to make signs when you go the Jake so we can see you, Jeb and BabyDash be circled by Bert himself.

I work at Macalester! What does this Jeb character do?

Take Li'l Dash down to Columbus to watch the Jankees farm team. He can practice his loathing for the Evil Empire. And zip over to Toledo and catch the Mud Hens at the strangely-named "Fifth Third Field." So you can watch some baseball, enjoy the Buckeye state, and still keep out of CC's reach.

And why limit Jeb to Macalester? There are many fine small liberal arts colleges in Minnesota. The charming village of Northfield has two! In fact, a couple of Carleton profs have visited every major league ballpark and give lectures about baseball's part in American history. There's even a vintage base ball club. And a couple of 'town ball' teams to enjoy outdoors.

Don't get me wrong, Mac's great (I got married in the alumni house), but play the field (so to speak).

Dear Batgirl,
I don't think you'll have to do anything at all. See, the Twins already leave a bad taste in Capt. Cheeseburger's mouth, so any Twins fan, especially one of Dash's calibur, will be safe from eating.

and if all else fails, take Dash to one of the fine museums mentioned above. That's waaaay too much culutre for His Cheesyness.

Dear Mr/Ms B,

Jeb teaches in the discipline of history..British and World Environmental.

Dear Mr H,

Indeed, we are well aware of the wonderful liberal arts colleges in Northfield, as well as the universities in Minneapolis/St. Paul, and would be delighted should someone endow a chair for Jeb at any of them.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

BG,

the cute ourfits with bear ears will have to go (cheers from baby dash) as bears are, sort of, edible.

and oh the peripatetic life of the academic wife :-)

here's to portable skills

D

Dress the BatBaby up like a pirahna! I doubt ANYTHING in Major League Baseball wants to mess with one of those.

Well you're almost halfway home! If you move halfway home each summer, by the time the new ballpark arrives I figure you'll live in the western cheese wastelands. You'll be close enough to make a long weekend trip to the new park.

That ApplePiePress vote was one of the easiest choices I've made in a long time. I read the book this winter and throughly enjoyed it. Looking forward to receiving the next installment on pre-order in July.

JimH--FYI, the Columbus Clippers are no longer part of the evil empire. They up and left for Wilkes Barre-Scranton PA. A milder empire--that of BallWonk's beloved Nationals--now calls Columbus home. A road trip to Toledo for the AAA MudHen, Lake County for Class A ball, or the AA Akron Aeros are also fine outings.

Twayn--I knew there was another, deeper, reason I've liked all your postings. Native Buckeyes are a fine lot indeed!

Bailey:

Re: the site .... first, BG has to find out if they have "Internet" in Cleveland ......

I hear "Cleveland" and I immediately think of the movie Major League (one of my all-time faves), and strains of the opening song come to mind ("Cleveland, city of light, city of magic...) :-)

I have heard that the Jake is a good place to watch a game, certainly better than the Humpty Dome!

Best of luck on the new job!

As a Macalester student, I think I can say that Jeb would be more than welcome here... :)

oh! say hi to rivas for me!

good luck with the move. and with the cheeseburger.

Fiesta: Thanks for the update. I guess I've been away from Columbus too long. I lived there when Franklin County refurbished the stadium, and they were right proud. Now I hear they're talking about a new one. Is that why the Yankees fled to Wilkes-Barre (of all places) -- because the good citizens of Columbus wouldn'y build them a new AAA ballpark?

HELLO, CLEVELAND!

Shouldn't Jeb be following you and Dash?

Batgirl...I made The Jake the choice for my first non-Dome Twins trip last summer. I had a total blast and loved the place. Park is a gem, weather was fab and even the Indian fans were hospitable and fun to be around. I'll definitely be going back, either this season or soon.

I suspect you will find yourself drawn to that ballpark, even when the opponent is someone other than the reigning division champions. Wait and see.

Umm, I've been reading your blog for a while, but just made the connection following the link to the MN Book Awards. My son is a big fan.

BTW, we moved to Cleveland (Shaker Heights actually) from St. Paul in '04. We really like it here. It'll be a great place to raise young Dash.

Perhaps dressing Dash as one of the Batkittens Three might save him. They've arrested Bitch Sox, after all.

Check out kare11.com they a really fun look at Santana and Silva bike riding to the stadium during spring training. Good stuff!

Hold your baby by the heel, and dip him in pesto... Captain Cheeseburger LOATHS pesto.

Welcome to Cleveland, Batgirl!

http://www.teepee-talk.com/archives/002707.html

I 2nd the motion th dress him like Johan.
And the vote has been cast.

Dress Dash like The Postseason. Although the Cap'n might WANT to eat him, it's a safe bet he won't be able to find him.

My question is how it's possible I didn't know that Cap's 6'7". 6'7"! Can you imagine the poor defenseless cheeseburgers quivering as this monstrous beast swoops down upon them from such a height, like an overweight Godzilla, destroying the proud towers of Cheeseburgopolis? There is no hope for any of them. But you just know that as he scoops up the last of the victims of his terrible hunger, that poor lonely cheeseburger, suspended SIX FEET AND SEVEN INCHES in the air, looks the monstrous Sabathian dead in the eye and says, "Your hat's still stupid."

Dress Dash up as David Wells, I've heard they don't turn on their own kind.

Bat Girl,

Firstly, welcome to the Buckeye State. You'll enjoy Jacobs Field, although I'd strongly suggest waiting until after Mother's Day (congrats!) before attending - as the weather can be unpredictable.

Don't worry about CC ingesting lil Dash; He likes HoHo's, not Twinkids, er, Twinkies.

HTH