You’d think something that we live with 24/7 would be second nature, but time baffles us. The years fly swiftly by, seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers, blossoming even as we gaze. It’s trite, it’s sentimental, and it’s blatantly lifted from Fiddler on the Roof, but it’s true.
And if it’s true in life, it’s true in baseball. We tend to judge players’ age based on how long we’ve known them instead of how old they really are. So while we’re twiddling our thumbs this spring, it might be wise to reacquaint ourselves with our favorite team, and how old (or in my case, how maddeningly young) each of these guys are.
1985
Born: Oswaldo Sosa and Alexander Smit
Other: Two words: New Coke
Here’s the thing: I still FEEL like I’m pretty close to the guy I was in college. It is simply not possible that the Twins have guys on their 40 man roster who were born the year that I started college. Which is why I’ve decided that Sosa and Smit are, in fact, fictitious. I never really believed that the Twins had some left-handed kid from the Netherlands that was striking out a batter per inning anyway.
1984
Born: Denard Span, Alexi Casilla and Jose Mijares
Other: Michael Jackson is lit on fire.
Second baseman Casilla has passed center fielder Span on most people’s prospect lists, but it’s worth noting that he’s only five months younger than him. Both are light-hitting speedsters that play defensive positions and will start the year in Rochester.
But the similarities don’t end there. Both have veterans in front of them that are playing out their option year and will be free agents this offseason. Which means that at this time next year, both will be blocked by an inferior veteran recently signed on the cheap while the Twins insist that they both “need more seasoning”. Still, it’ll be interesting comparing their stats in Rochester throughout 2007.
1983
Born: Glen Perkins, Joe Mauer, Francisco Liriano and Matt Garza
Other: M*A*S*H takes itself too seriously for the last time.
Good Lord, look at that list. 1983 was a VERY good year. Robust body, just the right amount of jamminess and terrific mouthfeel. I’m crediting the long cool nights. When the Twins pick some 24-year-old in June’s 2007 draft, I won’t be among the bloggers lambasting them. It’s all about the vintage.
1982
Born: J.D. Durbin, Alejandro Machado, Jason Kubel, Errol Simonitsch, Julio DePaula
Other: John DeLorean arrested for cocaine trafficking.
Lesson #1: Durbin and Kubel both turn 25 this year, which is still young, but this is pretty much their last chance to show they can be something special. DeLorean, on the other hand, showed he was something special much later in his career.
He was also acquitted from that charge two years later without calling a single witness. It was a complete case of entrapment. Which brings us to Lesson #2: Don’t mess with the automobile industry in America. They will screw you.
1981
Born: Ricky Barrett, Justin Morneau, Garrett Jones, Jesse Crain, Scott Baker and Boof Bonser
Other: Reagan is shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
It was reported last week that Garrett Jones was moving to the outfield, and I’m betting he fully supports that move. When you’re the same position AND the same age as a guy who just won the AL MVP, turns out you might want to try a different position.
Or, maybe even a different organization.
1980
Born: Luis Rodriguez and Pat Neshek
Other: America watches “Who Shot JR.”
I don’t understand why the Twins don’t think Rodriguez can back up shortstop. I don’t understand how Neshek’s arm will ever hold up to 8 relief appearances. And I’m never going to understand the whole “Dallas” thing. Did we really spend months waiting to see who shot some scumbag? I didn’t get it then, and it’s even more surreal now.
(Of course, my life pretty much revolved around Bo and Luke Duke making the General Lee defy gravity, so I don’t really have a leg to stand on. I’ll grant you that. Even if Cooter did eventually become a real-life US Congressman.)
1979
Born: Juan Rincon, Johan Santana, Michael Cuddyer, Carlos Silva, and Jason Bartlett
Other: Skylab crashes to earth, mostly around Australia. A cow is killed.
Odds are Bartlett is older than you thought. In fact, he’s only a year younger than Cristian Guzman, which is a little sobering. Usually, that’s bad news, but it may not be in this case. For starters, this will be his “Age 27” year, which is often a career year for players.
For those who prefer a longer view, his age lowers his potential, but most Twins fans will settle for a four year run of competence at shortstop. This means he won’t be a free agent until he’s 32, which is a bummer for Bartlett, but makes it more likely he stays with the Twins.
There’s something to be said for burying these guys in the minors for an extra couple of years. It almost makes a year and a half of Juan Castro seem worth it. Almost.
(Oh, and unlike “Who Shot JR”, Skylab deserved all the hype it got. Space stations randomly crashing down from the sky are super cool, and always will be. And having it fall on a single cow is such genius that I consider it the strongest single piece of evidence that God exists.)
1978
Born: Matt Guerrier
Other: Jonestown
1977
Born: Dennys Reyes, Jason Tyner and Nick Punto
Other: Saturday Night Fever is released.
Our lead Piranhas are a little long in their tiny razor-sharp teeth, it seems. Like Bartlett, it just means that they are currently in the prime of their careers, which is fine. Just don’t start harping to your friends about how Tyner needs to play more so we can “see what he can do”. This IS what he can do. He’s doing it.
1976
Born: Lew Ford
Other: Filming begins on Star Wars.
Coincidence? I think not.
1975
Born: Torii Hunter and Luis Castillo
Other: Drew Pearson condemns his own soul to an afterlife of eternal fire.
Would you have guessed that Hunter and Castillo are the same age? Me neither. In fact, after watching Castillo last year, I probably could’ve been convinced that he was up to four years older. It’s either further evidence that second basemen do not age well, or that we might not want to be quite as excited about 2007 as we are. Or both.
And Drew, I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. When you ask Abraham to send me to dip the tip of my finger in water and cool your tongue from the agony of fire, you can forget it buster. You want water? Get it from Roger Staubach, who will be smoldering right beside you. An 8-year-old’s faith in the world died that day. And I still consider that game to be the strongest single piece of evidence that God does not exist.
1974
Born: Chris Heintz and Joe Nathan
Other: Nixon resigns.
As opposed to “re-signs”. Fellow bloggers, it’s a small thing, but can we work on this? Rondell White did not resign with the Twins this offseason. That doesn’t even make sense. He re-signed. Thanks.
1973
Born: Ramon Ortiz
Other: The 1970s version of Match Game debuts and quickly becomes the #1 show in television.
“During batting practice, it’s customary for the pitchers to stand in the outfield and (blank) the hitters’ balls.”
1972
Born: Rondell White
Other: Five White House operatives are arrested for burglarizing the offices of the Democratic National Committee
Last year, when the Twins signed White, they deflected criticism about the 34-year-old’s injury history by stating that he would be the full-time designated hitter. Does anyone else remember this? Anyone? Because now they say they plan to play him full-time in left field on the hard Metrodome surface. Does anyone else remember this? This was just a year ago, right?
1971
Born: Mike Redmond
Other: Television can no longer show cigarette ads.
And an entire generation of kids becomes healthier, but much, much less cool.
1969
Born: Jeff Cirillo
Other: Man walks on the moon.
There is only one thing that depresses me more than realizing that only one player on the Twins roster remembers the bicentennial. And that is that he was also the Twins biggest offensive acquisition of the offseason. Welcome aboard Jeff. When we meet, we can swap memories of the American Freedom Train and Dynamite magazine.
I am kind of excited that there is a player on the team who is older than me again. I haven't had that since Mulholland.
Of course, then I have to ask myself - do I really feel as old as I think Mike Redmond is??
*gasp*
Posted by: CapitalBabs at February 27, 2007 09:10 PMGeek, you've just made me feel ...
... very old, actually.
Damn you.
Posted by: tgd at February 27, 2007 09:12 PMJust don’t start harping to your friends about how Tyner needs to play more so we can “see what he can do." This IS what he can do. He’s doing it.
See also: Ford, Lew.
Posted by: Franorama at February 27, 2007 09:27 PMLOL CapitalBabs for a guy my age damn near all you young girls look really hot. I'll bet you have another few good years left.
Broker
My dreams of becoming the first girl to play Major League Baseball died when a kid who is two years my junior became a batting champion. Damn you, Joe Mauer, damn you.
Posted by: Bring Back Reboulet at February 27, 2007 09:54 PMSunrise. Sunset. Nice entry TG.
I have looked at the players' ages before but this really puts it in perspective.
God exists/God doesn't exist; resigns/re-signs; (blank) the hitters balls - great stuff Geek.
... only one thing that depresses me more ... and that is, if you think this makes YOU feel old ...
Holy sweet mother of Chili Davis, I completely forgot about Dynamite Magazine!
Well played, sir, well played.
All you youngsters need to stop whining. Come see me when players younger than you are entering Cooperstown (or when kids you coached against in youth leages are playing the outfield for the BitchSox).
I've long ago stopped (for the most part...kinda... sorta) getting depressed by realizing how much younger the players (and almost everyone on this blog) are than I am.
Great stuff, Geek, thanks!
JC
Posted by: JimCrikket at February 27, 2007 11:49 PMGee, there are finally Twins players my age on the 40 man roster...
and by the way, this was a great history lesson...
Posted by: Collegeboy at February 28, 2007 12:23 AMEvery single member of the Twins is younger than I am. This is baseball, surely there must be some guy older than 38 and a half you can sign, eat up some ABs, make some outs, spend some time on the DL, just to make me feel better? Please
All the cool kids were born in '79.
Posted by: aurora at February 28, 2007 07:50 AMDrew Pearson? Did you have to?
I was planning on going to work today but now I think I'll just go sit in a corner and cry.
My therapist thanks you...
Posted by: jamar1700 at February 28, 2007 08:01 AM
If I were still in school, I'd skip today. Baseball starts this evening, and I already had my history lesson and English lesson for today!
Yay for Batgirl and her pinch-bloggers! Thanks!
Posted by: JustBeth at February 28, 2007 08:04 AMI owned that copy of Dynamite. I think I had one with Herve Villechaize on it too - "De plane, boss, de plane!!!".
I was just thinking the other day as I was at D-Backs practice watching The Unit that I closer in age to him than 90% of the other MLers. I have more in common with "geezers" like Unit and Clemons than almost everyone on the Twins. At least Cirillo is my age...
Posted by: Ctwink at February 28, 2007 08:28 AMLOL - I used to love Dynamite Magazine - ahhh the memories!
And yay - at least Jeff Cirillo is only a year younger then me =)
Man I am old =)
Much Love
Wonder Woman
I've routinely said I won't feel old until players my age are no longer consider "young" or "phenoms" (both of which can describe Mauer and my almost bday buddy Liriano).
I try not to think about the fact that time will be coming soon.
Posted by: TBird41 at February 28, 2007 09:06 AMFantastic. Hooray, Geek!
Posted by: Jeb at February 28, 2007 10:06 AMThe blank following Mr. Gurrier's entry was absolutely brilliant. Gold, Geek, gold!
Posted by: Jim H. at February 28, 2007 11:29 AMIf anyone is interested in joining a fastasy league on espn this year, I need a couple more guys. send me your email addresses and I can send you an invite to the league.
twinkietwink7@yahoo.com
Posted by: sh at February 28, 2007 11:54 AMA very interesting and fun way to shuffle the deck, Mr. Geek. The Match Game reference brings back fond memories. We always called a mid-afternoon halt in our whiffle ball marathons to watch that show and chug a gallon of cherry Kool-Aid. Here are the lineups for tonight's game:
Twins:/Sox:
2B Luis Castillo/SS Julio Lugo
RF Jason Tyner/1B Kevin Youkilis
C Joe Mauer/DH David Ortiz
LF Rondell White/C Jason Varitek
CF Torii Hunter/3B Mike Lowell
DH Matthew LeCroy/RF Wily Mo Pena
1B Ken Harvey/2B Dustin Pedroia
3B Luis Rodriguez/LF David Murphy
SS Jason Bartlett/CF Jacoby Ellsbury
[SP Matt Garza]/[SP Curt Schilling]
Game time 6:05 p.m. CST. You can watch on MLB.TV ($14.95/month, $89.95/year), or listen on XM radio or locally on KSTP-AM. Play ball!
Posted by: twayn at February 28, 2007 12:31 PMOkay. I feel like a dumb*** for asking, but I'm curious. Is Lew Fordwalker an admitted science fiction fan or is than an extrapolation that was made because he's kind of a geek? Either way he's still loveable even with the bad knees. The 1976/Star Wars bit was my favorite!
Posted by: Bring Back Reboulet at February 28, 2007 12:31 PMA sort of amusing tidbit involving Castillo...
http://www.10000takes.com/2007/02/breathe_easy_luis_castillo_bre.html
Posted by: Eric at February 28, 2007 12:43 PMJust a bit of perspective from the original Leo Cardenas fan club member to those of you pining about feeling "old" in your thirties: it won't be long until you will need to shift your point of view to convincing everyone else that fifty still feels quite young.
Posted by: Glove Boy at February 28, 2007 01:12 PMI miss Terry Mullholland. It was nice having a token Twin who was older than me. Now I have to lie about my age and pretend I'm younger than Jeff Cirillo.
Posted by: Kurtis at February 28, 2007 01:54 PMDear Geek:
You mentioned remembering the Bicentennial? Heck, I remember every one of the references you listed. Now THAT'S old.
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at February 28, 2007 02:40 PMK-Bro,
I think you're being a little cruel to the Geek. I would venture a guess that he too remembers every one of the references he listed.
"Now THAT'S old."
Not trying to flame or anything... Just thought I'd point out the irony.
Posted by: Flip at February 28, 2007 03:27 PMSorry if I offended anyone. I genuinely thought it would be ok if I poked fun at my own age. Guess not.
*sigh* why do I even bother?
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at February 28, 2007 03:52 PMWow. I'm only 4 weeks younger than Oswaldo Sosa and 15 days younger than Alexander Smit.
It's weird to think that Mauer, Liriano, Garza, and Perkins are only two years older than me.
And if Stillwater had a 9th-12th grade high school system, I would have shared a building with Glen Perkins for a year.
Deeteedee. I'm on hold with MLB.tv. What I do to watch my Twinkies.
Posted by: Shelley at February 28, 2007 03:55 PMsolid sass production. AND statistics (one cow).
Posted by: brianS at February 28, 2007 04:25 PMDear Shelley,
What's really weird is thinking, "I'm old enough to be their dad."
Antediluvially,
Twayn
"Coincidence? I think not."
Hahahaha. I think we're all with ya there, Geek.
Mmkay, here's to the first of many wins for the Twinkies. Smoke 'em, Garza.
Posted by: FordHoiberg at February 28, 2007 06:22 PMIt's baseball time!!!!!! :-D
Posted by: Megan at February 28, 2007 06:23 PMNo sweat k-bro - you made me feel better. Fortunately, I don't remember every event. I was alive, but I don't remember anything prior to Match Game.
And yes, that means you ARE old. heh, heh.
Posted by: Twins Geek at February 28, 2007 07:18 PMIt's a bombardment of former Twins tonight. JC Romero, Big Papi, Lecroy (who found his way back to the Twinks)... there might be more but those are who I noticed.
The Chairman already had a nice three-run dinger tonight. Woot.
Just as the team is scouting for pitchers to put into the rotation, I'm scouting for a new boyfriend. Just in case all the talk about it being Sweetcheek's last season with us turns out to be true. :-( The Boston announcers quoted Torii saying something about "waiting for table scraps" after TR pays for Johan, Mauer, Morneau et al. $12 million... I wish I could make table scraps like that.
Posted by: Shelley at February 28, 2007 08:04 PMA very good read indeed.
Sigh. I can be almost all of their mothers.
Despite the "New" Coke angle, wasn't the King of Pop torched during a Pepsi commercial?
(By the by, I'm old enough to remember sucking in my cheeks as a 10-yr-old boy and calling it my Leo Cardenez imitation.)
I can't believe the Geek used Jonestown to symbolize 1978. That was the Year of Bucky Dent!
Posted by: brianS at March 1, 2007 02:50 AMOf COURSE '83 was a good year. ;D
And I hear ya, Shelley. I remember watching last season and thinking, "Yikes, I could have been in high school with half of these guys." It's weird.
Posted by: Spacey Stacey at March 1, 2007 03:15 AMI do remember all of these events, since I was already entering my teenage years (by only days, mind you) when we watched that "One small step" of Neil Armstrong's. While many of my memories of the 70s are a bit, let's just say, hazy, all of Geek's references are certainly burned in to my mind (especially Drew Pearson).
Now, speaking of being burned... How about our guy Garza sitting those "other" BitchSox down 123-123 last night and striking out Papi in the process?!
JC
Posted by: JimCrikket at March 1, 2007 08:49 AMThis has nothing to do with baseball, but it is of literary interest. The book Shadow Thieves, by BG's really good friend Anne Ursu, has been nominated for a Minnesota Book Award. This year, you have the chance to vote for a popular favorite among the nominees in each category (like children's fiction). Just go to TwinCities.com, click on the Minnesota Book Awards logo, and vote early and often. You might even want to vote in some of the other categories. Thanks for allowing the literary intrusion.
Go Twins!!
Posted by: Nancy at March 1, 2007 11:11 AMThanks for the tip, Nancy.
C'mon... if Neshek's readers were able to make him the highest vote-getter in the AAA AllStar voting last summer, surely we can find a way for BG's close personal friend to bring home an award for her outstanding book!
Just this once, pretend you're all from Chicago... you and all your deceased relatives should vote early and often.
Posted by: JimCrikket at March 1, 2007 01:12 PMGo Ms. Ursu!
Has everyone else died? What happened to everybody?
Posted by: Bring Back Reboulet at March 2, 2007 05:46 PMI need to vent now: Kyle Lohse is on my shit list. If I were alone I'd be losing it right now, but my mother does not appreciate the F word.
Posted by: Erin at March 2, 2007 09:04 PMI just heard/read what happened. I'm usually against over-hyping things but Kyle Lohse is officially dead to me.
Posted by: Bring Back Reboulet at March 2, 2007 10:40 PMThe game wasn't on MLB tonight so I didn't get to watch it. I just went to the Twins site to see if they won and read about the wild pitch from Lohse hitting my boyfriend in the head!
I really don't think Kyle meant to do that... despite his history with the team. You especially don't take out your frustration on Torii. Yeah it sucks that it happened, but you can't infer that Lohse did it with malicious intent.
Posted by: Shelley at March 2, 2007 10:56 PMHave you guys checked out their new pictures on their player page on mlb.com? The majority of them aren't much different from last years (Justin, honestly you have a nice smile, feel free to show it). But oh my gosh, Garza's is hilarious!
Posted by: melissa at March 3, 2007 10:13 PMSince I can't seem to make myself actually do all the worthwhile important stuff I should be doing on a weekend day...I DID go over and check out the new active roster to see the new pics and learn other stuff.
Didja all know Span's full name is Keiunta Denard Span?
Posted by: jamar1700 at March 4, 2007 10:48 AMNice artical about Santana.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/sports/2003590912_stone27.html
"King Johan" sounds nice, but I think El Presidente is better.
Posted by: melissa at March 4, 2007 03:45 PMLegoVision for 2007? PLLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEE! :D
Posted by: Pickles at March 4, 2007 11:17 PMDear Pickles,
We all anxiously await the return of LegoVision. While it doesn't compare to the wonders that Batgirl can do with Legos, I did find this amusing video that will have to suffice in the interim (just click on my name).
Twayn
Completely off topic but I wanted to share with the board an email I sent to MLB regarding what I think is a very unfair deal btwn them and Direct TV. For those who are out of town Twins fans and might feel the same you can write MLB @ feeback@mlb.com
For those who don't sorry for wasting your time.
Regards,
Cal
To Whom it May Concern,
I am writing to you in regards to the deal that MLB is
pursuing with Direct TV. I am against this deal and
believe it is very unfair to individuals like me who
can not purchase Direct TV.
I have been a fan of baseball my whole life. I grew up
a 10 minutes walking distance from Dodger Stadium and
most of my fondest summer memories involve baseball.
When I went to college in the Minnesota I found a
second favorite team and now that I live in Northern
California I have used Extra Innings to keep track of
both ball clubs.
I want to support baseball, and to this point I have
regardless of what has been going on in the media
regarding steroids and the like. Every year I travel
to see different ballparks. I have a closet full of
MLB apparel and I purchase Extra Innings.
I know I am one fan and probably don't count for much
in terms of revenue. How can one fan compete with the
millions that Direct TV is offering but I will still
ask that you reconsider this offer.
I will not purchase MLBtv because it does not offer me
the ability to record games so I may view them after I
get home from work and have spent time with my family.
With MLBtv, I would be forced to watch games on a
computer in my office, away from my wife and kids,
when I could watch them in our living room together.
It has always been my hope that summers with baseball
on every night would help make my child a lover of
baseball like his father but I will not expect him to
sit hunch over my desk to watch a 2 hour game. I won't
do it either.
Suffice to say that if this deal between MLB and
Direct TV goes through you will lose a lifelong fan.
Oh sure I will try to follow my teams this year but
without watching their daily games I will find other
pursuits to fill my time. Like I said I'm just one fan
but I doubt I'm alone in feeling this way.
This deal is unfair, I can not, as someone who rents
purchase Direct TV and I don't understand why you
would make it harder, not easier for me to watch
baseball.
Thank you for your time.
Posted by: cal at March 5, 2007 06:05 PMDoes anyone know the results of the B game against the Red Sox?
Posted by: melissa at March 5, 2007 08:17 PMWell done, cal. Fightin' the man.
Hey everybody, we won today! Nice to get that big ZERO off our backs. Sideshow got the win.
Posted by: Carmen at March 5, 2007 08:43 PM