You should totally chalk up another vote to King Rochestrah! My wife wants to vote, too, but she can't because we're behind the same router...

The only thing I've thought of so far is Pat "Shadrack" Neshek.

Pat the Bunny.

/please tell me anyone else read these books growing up...

Pat the Bunny kind of reminds me of "Pet the Bunny......Pet the Bunny.....GET IN THE VAN!"

I was thinking something along the lines of "Praying Battis" just for the fact that his starting position for his pitching really does (like your step by step re-enactment of a Pat Pitch) is like he's praying to the batter.....or someone.... ;)

You gotta go with a submarine themed nickname for the sidewinder. How about "Blueback"? Blueback Neshak. Got a nice ring to it.

www.omsi.edu/visit/submarine/

O.K. I went ahead and did a cut and paste from the link. (Although the picture of the submarine is a ready-made t-shirt design!)

OMSI is the home of the U.S. Navy's last non-nuclear, fast attack submarine, the U.S.S. Blueback (SS 581). After 31 years of service in the U.S. Navy throughout the Pacific Ocean, and appearing in the movie The Hunt for Red October, the Blueback is now on permanent display at OMSI. The Blueback is a Barbel class submarine, the first battle-ready class of subs to use the tear drop hull design.

Or maybe not. All I know is I'm jonesing for a ballgame.

Pat spent the night at my house once. OH the thrill of knowing something good finally came out of brooklyn park..ha..I remember his Nickname in Junior High school..My brother and all their friends called him " Pat Knee Shackles" because he stood like he was shakled to the mound.

As I watch this young lad who was once a tiny tike at my house I see it still rings true..Shakled to that Mound...

We love PAT...

The Nesh (knee-sh)

(Kinda like The Nuge for Ted Nugent).

i agree that something submarine-related is good. i want to also suggest something related to spastic motions or high metabolism, because Neshek can never seem to stand still. he reminds me of a hummingbird sometimes.

also wanted to mention i really like Neshek's blog. i love that stuff and can't get enough of it!

Whatever the outcome of "name the beast" contest is, I think/hope it's short and easy to say. Some of them seem like they would be painful to pronounce.

Ok, I'm not the one who thought of this nickname but I really like "Lil' Sidearm" for Mr. Neshak. He pitches from the side and he seems like a fiery, pistol-type of guy. Or maybe I'm stupid- I don't know.

Anyone who's watched him pitch would agree on Pat "Twitch" Neshek.

I think it reads better then "Epileptic" or "Crunk"...

Personally, I think off-days have been blessedly... *safe* this season. As we all know, it could be wayyyyyy worse...

It was flairjordan in "The Neshek Shuffle: A Reenactment" posting that thought of "Lil Sidearm".

I'm not seeing how a submarine-related nickname would be the best??

Wondering, L.H. girl

Really, it doesn't matter what his nickname turns out to be. At our house he is and will forever be known as "Spazzy McDancypants."

snosaj. lol. Snausage?

How about Twitchy Twitchington?

So in absense of a Twins game to occupy myself this evening, I watched the pilot of "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" on Sci-Fi. There are some interesting characters, definitely, but all I have to say is that they're all lucky they're not up against a certain "tiny superhero" we all know as they are "tested for courage, integrity, self-sacrifice, compassion, and resourcefulness — all traits that every true superhero must possess."

To my eyes, Neshek is more of a sidearmer than a submariner. Chad Bradford, with the Mets this year, is a true submariner.

Neshek looks like he's using a sling, David vs. Goliath style, which is a fitting metaphor against guys like Thome but I can't come up with a good nickname from it. Also looks a little like someone throwing a frisbee or skipping stones on a pond.

The Half-Bradford?
Ultimate Frisbee?

You could go with the family-friendly abbreviation for what opposing batters must say the first time they see him: WTF, as in "Looks like Gardy's bringing in Lil WTF."

Maybe Neshek needs a cabinet post under the Santana/ Nathan administration...Secretary of Strut

Because of the pitching motion, Kneejerk. Because of the negative semantic implications, never mind.

Eric, No you are not alone and he is jumpy. How about "SpazNeSide", on second thought maybe not?
Or "Side-Shak-Ne" Humm, *Shrugs*

The Velvet Fog (if it hasn't already been taken).

Submitted for Neshek nickname consideration:

"Hack" Neshek

"The Love" Neshek

"Cad" Neshek

"Chiang Kai" Neshek

"The lawn sprinkler" - due both to his pitching motion and the euphonious sound his name makes:

Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat,
Neshek, Neshek, Neshek, Neshek, Neshek, Neshek...

Because of the pitching motion (again), and because he's so entertaining to watch, and because The Simpsons is the Greatest Television Program of All Time, how about Sideshow Pat, or just Sideshow for those with an affinity for truncated monikers.

how about dot.com, since pat has his own website.

Cadneshek? Nice, ThatsRich. Nice.

bat-girl... patneshek.com has a link to your lego re-enactment.. you've made it big time.

I like TeeNutts' Pat "Hummingbird" Neshek suggestion. :D

I'd suggest PatNeshek.com, but all the companies with .com names seem to go bust.

I'll just 2nd other suggestions cuz I'm the least creative person in the world...

"Spazzy McDancypants."

I'm pretty sure it isn't PC to call someone 'spazzy' anymore...but I'm all over the 'McDancypants' *g*

---

"The Love" Neshek

comes with it's own theme song.

----

"The Velvet Fog"

Wasn't that Mel Torme?

Here are a few:

1) As suggested earlier in the week, Knees or maybe Kneecaps, because that's where the pitch starts and where it ends at the batter.

2) Love Shek was one that came to mind, especially in taking issue with Sid Hartman's accuracy as to whether he (Neshek, not Sid) was single.

3) Tech Support, because of his blogging. The server somehow skips a beat? Call in Tech Support.

4) The She(i)k? Or Sheker, like Shaker, because he does a whole lot of that on the mound. No word as to whether he makes great wooden furniture.

"Chiang Kai" Neshek and the Chairman in the same battery?

Could we do that?

Shek.

Click on the TD for a box of highly concentrated evil..

Pat "The Knight" (who says) Neshek

I like the Loch Nesh Monster

Pat "Oh my god why must his blog be black on red!?! My eyes, my eyes!" Neshek.

Too long?

How about "Gork"? Dunno.

hmm...I kinda like "Sideshow Pat" myself. The sprinkler suggestion had me rolling on the floor laughing!

Neshek should be "Smiley".

During his last appearance, he couldn't wipe that mischievious grin off of his face, or so it looked to me on TV. He looked like he was having so much fun.

There's a full-page story on him and his blog in this week's Sporting News. It's really nice.

Someone mentioned "skippy sidearm" a few blogs ago. I still like that one or some variation of it with the word "skippy" in it.

If it hasn't been mentioned already, Cisco's among the AL ROY candidates.

Click on the name to make Cisco the FIRST and BEST choice for *this* title. Thanks.

That said, An attempt at "Cisco is *better* than El Presidente" comment is rather blah. :/

The stats might be there, but ... well, it's :\ causing. Both make Bitch Sox sit down, so there.

I think "Sideshow" or "Sideshow Pat" is the best so far. "The Sprinkler" is a close second though. Sounds like a good superhero name, maybe he could be LNP's sidekick.

P.S. If BG doesn't use "The Sprinkler" I'm afraid it'll end up on Adult Swim. I think Master Shake (ATHF) has already been "Mister Mister". Please don't let the name end up on MinoriTeam. *shudder*

Combining the Jasons reminds me of when teammates started calling Dustin Mohr and Bobby Keilty "Dusty Keiltmohr" because they were so interchangable in rightfield.

Now remember fellow Batlings, don't take these nicknames lightly. When Bat-Girl picks 'em, they stick... I have heard Dick Bremer referring to the "Cisco Kid" on occasion. BG.com is far-reaching, and we wouldn't want to give legs to anything unfortunate.

That being said, I thought "King Rochestra" was so clever and almost voted for it, but then I realized it's selling these boys short. From Rochester no longer, it's clear these guys are big-leaguers hands down.

What you said, Neil.

And Jazilla? No, that would be a single-headed monster with atomic breath.

Voting for King Jhadorah

And for Neshak, how about "Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner"?

Laurie, thanks for turning us on to the TSN story by Dave Kindred. Gotta love it. I've had his blog bookmarked for a couple of years now and I still just feel so excited for him.

So much imagination from everyone. Think my favorites (in no particular order) at this time would be Cadneshek (I might suggest the slight alteration of "Caddyshek", Chiang Kai Neshek, dot.com, Love Shek, and the Secretary of Strut.

Definitely going to be tough to vote on just one out of so many excellent choices.

Completely off topic, but...

Eventually, music thumped in the back of the clubhouse as Santana approached his game-time mind-set. He generally gets up and starts gyrating in a back room of the clubhouse.
http://www.startribune.com/509/story/579796.html

Johan....gyrating.... *passes out*

i think "chiang kai neshek" is a GREAT suggestion, as is "sideshow pat." every time i see that little flourish on the end of his delivery, with the hand going side to side, i imagine someone yelling "BOOYA" - but that's neither here nor there.

"Chiang Kai" Neshek doesn't throw to "Chairman" Mauer, he throws at him.

I like Twitch it's simple it gets the point accross The best nicknames are simmple like hammering hank, The babe or the splendid splinter

First, as ralf said, he is a sidearmer, not a submariner. A sidewinder is a snake, and I think his movements are snake-like. Also, The Snake is an anagram for Pat Neshek, with the P left over. So I nominate Pat The Snake Neshek. Or how about Snakely Whiplash?

I like the Commish's #2 suggestion, Love Shek. It comes with it's own theme music, too! "The whole Shek shimmies..."

I'm sorry, but "Spazzy McDancypants" wins. And I don't think there is room for debate.

(Though "Sideshow" has some promise.)

Pat "Fast Track" Neshek

Will be his nickname

Damn you, batlings. All this talk about Neshek has the catchy little diddy from my childhoold Vacation Bible School days going through my head- Shadrack, Meshek and Abendego. I can't get it out of my head. I think the only cure is for one of you creative types to customize it for our new hometown hero (who I'm sure was taunted by the song at some point in his life). I'll get you started:

Gather kids for a talk from long ago
Patrick Neshek, aka Sideshow...

"I don't think there is room for debate."

Sorry, Twins-Geek, but "spazzy" is straight from the lexicon of sixth graders and Anything McAnything is trite. See? There is room for debate.

Through opposing lineups did he mow,
Patrick Neshek, aka Sideshow

Spazzy McDancypants is a wonderful moniker for him. But I think Snappy better describes it. He moves like he's made of rubber bands.

I refer to Neshek as "The Time Warp". It's just a jump to the left... and then a step to the RIGHT!

The Dealer. In honer of the "Neshek Shuffle" and the way he deals unhittable pitches at those bats stupidly waving across the plate.

You guys are ZINGIN' em today... I love Snappy, Time Warp, and Fast Track. Of course if we see Garza in the bigs yet this year, I think he's officially "Fast Track."

The name that sounds best to me is Whiplash. Short and sweet.

I'll third (fourth? fifth?) "Sideshow Pat". Good stuff.

In a game thread, somebody described Neshek by saying "he's just never stops moving, like something that never stops moving"

So, in honor that notion...why not call him "Ne-Shark" after all, they supposedly can't stop moving right?

The hand motion he does after a pitch reminds me of an orchestra conductor. How about Pat "Maestro" Neshek? (I realize this is similar to Frank "Sweet Music" Viola's nickname)

Sideshow Pat is the best thus far.

Neshek-chadnezzar.

... Perhaps not.

"Anyone who's watched him pitch would agree on Pat "Twitch" Neshek. "

You can't call him Twitch - that's what my friends and I call David Eckstein, and not in an affectionate way. I'd hate to call Neshek something tainted like that.

I'm likin' Sideshow Pat and the Snake.

smaki774, taking inspiration from you.

Simply put, "Shimmie Shek" . Still has the theme song.

...and as part of the Bullpen Administration, The Secretary of Shimmie.

They'll be writing it up as "Gardy made an SOS call to the 'pen in the 7th".

On the one hand, you gotta love "Chiang Kai Neshek" since it has a nice tie-in to the Chairman.

But upon further reflection, how about "Captain Nemo"? You know from 20,000 leagues... mysterious submariner that pops up from nowhere and destroys.
I like it.

If "Captain Nemo" sticks, then we can tell opposing batters to "just keep swinging, just keep swinging, just keep swinging, swinging, swinging"...

Sheks The Clown. "Loved by children. Desired by women. Adored by bartenders everywhere."

but I really like Eric's suggestion of Pat the Bunny.

yeah, we were talking about this is the game thread the other day and for lack of a better nickname, we were calling him Herky - short for Herky Jerky in honor of the delivery...

I do like Whiplash though.. that's kind of cool.

Anything with Twitch in it is too close to our closer of the present and shouldn't be applied to our closer of the future - in my opinion.

Sideshow is ok too - and applicable on many levels.

Is he spinning the Wheel of Fortune?

Pat "Big Money" Neshek

(Or Sideshow Pat)

Carlos Lee traded to the Rangers, espn.com reports....

thank you, heraldguy, now i will have that song stuck in my head all day and maybe next week too.

make it stop!

Then my work here is finished.

Pat "The Knight" (who says) Neshek

This is incredible. Maybe it won't stick, but anything with a Monty Python shout out is automatically amazing.

How about The Web. He has his own blog AND when you fast forward like really fast (matrix agent fast) his pitching style, it looks like he has too many arms.

"Kiss of Death"

Really, it is a fine play on words with the Hebrew word for "kiss" ("Neshika").

Or not...

YankeeFan

The Dealer is one of my favorites that I saw on here; I never thought of it, but his motion IS kind of like dealing cards. Hmm... Blackjack might be a good one, too.

The nicknames I've been using for Neshek have to do with the fact that his danciness reminds me of a jig that a cute little Irish leprechaun might do. So I call him Tricksy the Leprechaun, or Paddy O'Neshek.

I'm likin' Sideshow Pat. Especially if he has big feet, which I must admit, I haven't noticed.

Well, believe it or not, like a couple of other posters, the firsth thing that came to my mind was Shadrach-Neshek, and I have been calling him that for the last week. Great "debate," though, and even greater that we have the guy to debate about! He seems to be something special.

Has anyone said Pattyshek?

I'm definitely liking Secretary of Strut.

Laurie, he DOES kind of have big feet!! I'm warming up to Sideshow more and more each minute..

and somehow the media furor he raises every time he pitches with each and every announcer team having to do some sort of slow motion analysis of his.. uniqueness.. yeah, it really does tend to have a bit of a circus atmoshphere.

Definitely Paddy O'Neshek. He does seem to have that mischievous grin on his face when he pitches.

Methinks the beastie needs to be "Jasonnasauraus Wrecks." Semms like the obvious compromise. As to the "new guy" Neshek, I'm likin' "Pattyshek" alot today, maybe I'll like "Bless You" tomorrow (Hint: Get the announcer a tissue!)

I think the best nickname for Pat Neshek is Ninja Neshek. Because when he slings the ball its like he's a silent but lethal ninja throwing a star.

I have to butt in (pardon me) with the naming of the Jasons beast. "King Rochestra", though good, does not make the point of the joke being about "Jasons." If we were to call it anything about Rochester, why not include Tiffee, or Rabe, or anybody else from there? (Though they're all technically from there...) Also Godzilla was a single-headed monster, so I'm not a fan of "Jazilla" as the penultimate name either.

And now I'm done butting in. (Pardon me again.)

What Meb said. It's been troubling my thoughts all day. The "Jason" thing is what's cool.

So, in a recap, here is my 2 cents:

1st cent: call Neshek whatever you want, but don't call him spaz. He isn't one, and that's a dumb word.

2nd cent: their all named Jason. Work with it.

That is all.

- Kurtis

Er... THEY'RE all named Jason.

That is all.

- Kurtis

I suggested "Skippy Sidearm" and "Lil' Sidearm" a few days ago - and dammit - I stand by them, but have to tell you that both "Spazzy McDancypants" and "Lil WTF" evoked out loud guffaws when I read them.

Here's the thing, if you spend some time on his blog the boy is so, so, SO, SOOOO disturbingly into autographs and "graphers" (both the giving and receiving of)that "Back-grapht" might resonate with him (while San-Jo and Li-ro are our fire, he is the unexpected backdraft - dangerous and VERY unpredictable.)

I'm just sayin'.

Also suggested "Jasonasourus Wrecks" back in the diz-ay (like, two days ago ; ) and still agree with ZIPRHED - it works. But lovin' Jasonasourus too.

Can we PLEASE get a run RIGHT NOW??? Someone piss off the Doc and get his competitive fires ablaze - it always works.

SHITE! Run for the Tiggers.

According to the comments on his blog, Neshek's friends already call him Shaq.

Sidenote - I am dismayed and not thinking clearly - can we please also nickname Castirious? His mean stare is so adorable and worthy.

I'm not done campaigning for Whiplash. Most of the other suggestions are just too gimmicky and complicated. I think it's got to be simple. Whiplash.

how bout because in his windup he sticks out his tongue we call him Pat "the lizard" Neshek. Anyone else like it?

****"spazzy" is straight from the lexicon of sixth graders and Anything McAnything is trite. See? There is room for debate.****
-Kurtis

AMEN Kurtis! I'm glad someone agrees with me on that. *stands by Kurtis*

"Kubatydra?" (like the hydra, except with three heads instead of 6 or 8 or something)

I love the suggestion of Tech Support. Very cute, very original, very applicable and surprisingly catchy.

I really need to thank the Batgirl community for helping me survive my week in South Dakota. I was all prepared to listen to AM 570 and turn the TV to channel 50 like everyone suggested, but the resort we stayed at had some weird closed circuit style cable and it was channel 43. My cousin's fiance and I parked it in front of the TV on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and rooted for opposing teams. He likes baseball (even if his favorite team is it the Bitch Sox), peanut butter on his pancakes, girl beer, card games and children. If he wasn't engaged to my cousin...anyway, big thanks, Batgirl followers. The only way it could have been better was if I'd had Internet access. You guys rock.

Nowadays everyone uses names that are shortened like A-Rod, T-Mac, etc. So the only logical choice for Pat Neshek's nickname would be...

P-Nes?

Some sort of Nick Name that recognizes & appreciates that fancy little salute. Captain Pat maybe? Although we wouldn't want to confuse him with Captain Cheeseburger .

It doesnt matter what it ends up, I will never be able to get Wheels' suggestion out of my head. Awesome.