Twins at Houston. Twins 6, 'Stros 5 (10 innings).
Batgirl tries to be dignified. Staid. Even-keeled. She wants to set an example for the children—because really, all BG thinks about is the children—that life is full of ups and downs and it’s a long baseball season and you win some and you lose some and sometimes it rains and sometimes there's Carl Everett. But--GOOD GOD BATGIRL IS SO BLEEPIN' HAPPY RIGHT NOW!
I mean, BG was pretty happy on—oh—Friday when we'd won five straight and Silva and Radke had partied like it was 2005 and Jason Kubel was going Boom! Boom! Boom! and Jason Bartlett was, you know, there and did Batgirl mention the five straight? Now, we’ve been down that road before, of course, followed generally by losing six straight but nonetheless—oh, the happiness!
"It's just more fun like this," Batgirl and Jeb said solemnly to each other. "We'd rather lose with various youngins named Jason than be mediocre with middling veterans on the CIA most wanted list." And we'd win again and Batgirl and Jeb would nod solemnly again and say, "It's not that we're winning, per se, it's just so much fun to see those guys out there." And then we'd win again and BG and Jeb would say, "The point is we're looking at the future!"
Batgirl has actually been moved to tears twice during this streak of awesomeness—the first after Kubes hit his grand salami oh-so-many wins ago, and then tonight. The Twins had been losing 4-1 and Batgirl sighed to herself, "Self, it's okay, we have to lose sometime, and losing once every eight games is okay and Roy Oswalt is good at baseball." And then the seventh inning hit and the J-Men (which is like G-men, but stupid) each hit singles and then Tiffles pinch hit for Rad and Jeb said something disparaging and promptly apologized, for Tiffee got a RBI, then Castillo did, then Little Nicky Punto hitched up the green Speedo and hit a double to tie the game, and that's when Batgirl wept.
It was 4-4 then, and suddenly you just knew we were going to win. Because that's what the Minnesota Twins do, you know, they win baseball games. Especially on the road. Our first go ahead run was a rather adorable tribute to small ball—Castillo singling then stealing, LNP walking, and Chairman Mauer throwing himself towards first to avoid hitting into a double play to end the inning. A little Crazy Pepe on the part of the Stros, and the Twins had what would of course be the winning run.
Well, Joe Nathan's saved more games in the last few days then he has all season and that wears on a chap, it really does—he's used to saving a game and then sitting back in the bullpen for three or four weeks crocheting booties for Humane Society kitties, drinking Colt 45 out of a brown paper bag, and thinking what it would be like to be Vice President of a team that didn't suck. So you can't really blame him for blowing the save; he was probably just anxious about falling behind in his bootie-quotient.
And at that point the Houston Astros fans seemed to think they had hope, which is very sweet and all, but they did not know they lived on the Island of Dr. Morneau, where hope goes to die. "Small ball, my ass," said the Good Doctor. "Let's blow this popsicle stand." One pitch, one swing, one ball flying many many moose antlers away and that, my friends, was all she wrote. And the Twins had suddenly won eight straight and were a whole game above .500. And Batgirl and Jeb turned to each other and said, "Oh, #@$& it, it's just fun to win."
BatNote: Joe Mauer has finally cracked the top five in All-Star voting. It's good, but not good enough. You may have voted 25 times, but have your dead ancestors? Your pets? Your toes? Doesn't your pinky toe have an e-mail address? Well, get one, dammit.
This was the kind of game where one looks at the matchup, with the Astros coming in with a better record and all, and thinks "this could be tough".
And then one looks at the pitching matchup - Radke vs. Oswalt, a guy having a tough year (although he's looked better as of late) against a truly elite pitcher - and pretty much prepares to lose with great ass-battery.
And then one looks at the abomination of a stadium (Routine fly-ball? HA! That's a home run here, because apparently not *everything* is bigger in Texas) that the game will be played in, and at Radke's tendency to give up fly balls, and then groans to oneself and says, "This is gonna hurt."
I don't think I would have believed this win if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Might be the most impressive performance of "stepping up" all season, with the Bradke saying "four runs is enough"; Crain reminding us all how very, very sorry he is about Crazy Carl and the walkoff; LNP with a go-ahead extra base hit; and ol' Just-in "From watching the hockey playoffs" Morneau sending everyone home.
I'm looking forward to the rest of the series... and I'd like to place an order for some ground balls by Houston hitters.
Posted by: neutrino boi at June 20, 2006 11:33 PMBeautiful, just beautiful.
I choose my words carefully because I am still reserved about the inevitable losing streak that always seems to come after this time. But THIS seems different, you know?
I still have a bunch of all-star votes left, so I shall fulfill your request!
TOUCH 'EM ALL MORNEAU!
Posted by: Bri at June 20, 2006 11:38 PMI like your version of the game recap much better than the AP's, BG.
And as long as MLB keeps telling me to vote early and often, that's what I will be doing.
Posted by: ubelmann at June 21, 2006 12:17 AMYou know, the Astros are my childhood favorites. Nolan Ryan, Jose Cruz, Dickie Thon, Danny Heep, etc. The Astrodome for Summer vacation. Ah, good times, Rusty.
Yet, last night, even though it hurt a little to see the Astros lose, make no mistake, I was rooting for Twins.
Oh and BG? You know Crazy Pepe still makes me laugh out loud.
Posted by: mmmarkiep at June 21, 2006 07:33 AMLet's have an old fashioned Cook County-style get out the vote effort for Mauer. Being dead is no impediment to casting your ballot- it's right there in the 15th Amendment, I think.
Posted by: ganderson at June 21, 2006 07:43 AMY'know what's really fun? Seeing the kids play and winning games--both at the same time!
My pinky toe doesn't have an e-mail address yet. Golly, I'll have to do something about that!
Posted by: JustBeth at June 21, 2006 08:01 AM"Small ball, my ass," said the Good Doctor. "Let's blow this popsicle stand."
Thats why I love him! what an awesome game!
Posted by: Mic at June 21, 2006 08:08 AMColt 47? Something new on the malt liquor shelf... Colt 47 is to Colt .45 as blak is to Coke?
And I wish Gladden would use the pronunciation guide provided by the home club. Or maybe he thinks Oswalt is related to Lee Harvey Oswald.
Posted by: Jim H. at June 21, 2006 08:24 AMDear Mr. H,
I just caught that. BG was sleepy. And obviously thinking of Liriano....
Sincerely,
Batgirl
Could somebody please help a guy out? I need a rundown of what nicknames are for who. For instance, who is Veep?
Posted by: jimbaseball at June 21, 2006 08:57 AMDear Mr. Baseball,
Please check the Nickname Guide in the left "About" column. "Veep" is the Vice President, or Joe Nathan.
Helpfully,
Batgirl
Favorite line:
"J-men (which is like G-men, but stupid)"
I could say all kinds of Net cliches like LOL or ROTFL, but I avoid cliches like the plague.
Once again you've managed to capture the Geshtault of a Twins fan in nutty package. Rock on BG.
Posted by: cmathewson at June 21, 2006 09:21 AMI tell you, this has been a fun week.
I don't expect it to last (as an eternal pessimist), but hell, after the start we had, I'm having as much fun as I've had in any post-season.
Posted by: CarrieICL at June 21, 2006 09:26 AMBatgirl made me cry again (though the Twins are part of it, of course). Just a few tears, but still.
The Colt .45 reference rocks almost as much as BOD exposition.
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at June 21, 2006 09:50 AMDear Batgirl,
Speaking of Joe, any word on when the t-shirt caption contest will be held?
Wonderingly,
Annun
ahh.... there are no words to describe my feelings about last night's game.
But I would like to thank all those batlings who were concerned for my physical well-being when our dear VP was actually given a chance to BAT by the heroics of the good Doctor.
(That was the trade off that was never spoken aloud but was understood. W's are nice but AB's are fewer and farther between for a once powerhitting SS turned Closing Phenom)
yes, my heart did race for a prolonged period and I did find it difficult to breathe when there was a sheepish grin popping out from under a batting helmet. I have to say, strikeouts just don't mean all that much when it's such a rare and beautiful sight to see my beloved boyfriend on THAT side of the plate....
*sighs happily*
Posted by: CapitalBabs at June 21, 2006 10:00 AMBlyleven quote of the night:
"And that's our Coors Cold Light...blast."
Posted by: angrynorwegian at June 21, 2006 10:01 AMThe image of Joe crocheting booties for kitties AND drinking malt liquor is one to be treasured.
Posted by: Kurtis at June 21, 2006 10:16 AMHumane society booties, Colt 45's, and moose antlers... no one recaps a game like BG. 3 Cheers for BG and 3 big Cheers for Justin!
Great game last night, but better recap of said game.
After last week's bat boy beatdown of the drunk fan, I was wondering if we'd get to see a lego reenactment?
Posted by: Tom at June 21, 2006 11:18 AMI am definetly in favor of a lego reenactment because I did not get to see the actual one (dammit).
What makes winning so much better is when one gets to read recaps like BG's.
Kudos to Batgirl and our boys!!
If you haven't done it yet, vote early, vote often is fun and easy. Although it is becoming a bit of a shock to the system that I now have to scroll SO FAR DOWN the year of birth list. It's also a bit annoying that I have to deselect the "please spam me" boxes every freaking time.
... and how could Ozzie NOT take the Chairman along, even if he doesn't win the voting? It's not like he's contractually obligated to include I-Rod, right?
Another awesome recap. Thanks BG!
Posted by: e-9 at June 21, 2006 12:28 PMIn case you don't know, you can vote 25 times PER DAY. The site wasn't clear, so I called Selig's office, and then the company that runs mlb.com to validate this. It is true, 25 times PER DAY. Get voting! (Tell all your ancestors also, dead or alive.)
I just hope we can beat Wandy Rodriguez tonight
why Wandy??
25 times a day really- well shoot -and I stole all those ballots the last time I was at the Dome and punched out Joe's name =)
Much love
Wonder Woman
E-9, the concern is not that Ozzie will take Ivan, of course. It's that he'll do the Joe Torre bit and select A.J. instead of our much more deserving Chairman.
Thanks for another dazzling display of your writing skills, BG - you've nailed the communal fervor that's spread throughout Twins Territory. Funny how, in the course of two weeks, we've all gone from, "good, the creaking vets are headed out and the youngsters are back in - here's to the future!", to, "Hey, is it just me, or do these guys look a lot better than they did last year?", to, "The Bitches and the Tigers aren't out of reach - hit another one, Doc!" And yes, it feels really good. Reeeeeeeally good.
Posted by: adidasman at June 21, 2006 01:10 PMHow great would that be for Ozzie to pick Mauer over AJ?? Just like we did when we traded AJ to the Giants. Buwahahaha!
Posted by: ForMorneau at June 21, 2006 01:28 PMY'know, my mental image of the Nathanest (yummm) is not of him drinking out of a paper bag, but rather going with something...chronic, shall we say?
Posted by: GeorgiaGirl at June 21, 2006 01:33 PMA whole game over .500, simply amazing. 2 weeks ago, didn't think it was gonna happen. ForMorneau-I hope the Chairman does get picked over AJ, it would be wonderful! Amazing that he finally cracked the top 5 too...
Posted by: Teece at June 21, 2006 02:02 PMInstead of the "J-Men", I think the "J-CREW" carries a little more weight. Plus the Twins marketing department can do some sort of campaign with the clothing store......either that or BG will photoshop Joe Mauer's, Joe Nathan's, Justin Morneau's head on some J-Crew catalog spread.
I'm anticipating some new artwork on this site within 3 hours of this post.
Posted by: jimbaseball at June 21, 2006 02:28 PMWith that great-to-know, I just put in a now-daily 100, I can get 800 more in before voting closes and if I enlist a few friends I can get into the 1000's, but of course it won't make a difference if we all aren't doing the same.
We are all still voting out there, right?
Posted by: twinkiething at June 21, 2006 02:46 PM"J-Men", "J-Squad", J-Crew" - BG nailed it. They're all stupid. At least "Soul Patrol" and "League of Nations" were catchy. T'ain't nothing catchy about "J-Squad" or "J-Crew" or "J-Gang" or "J-Men" or "J-Walkers" or "J-Hey Kids" or anything else beginning with "J". There just isn't. Sorry. This obsession with making something out of all the "J" names is driving me mad. I am feeling a trifle under the weather, though, so maybe I'm just a wee bit grumpy.
Posted by: adidasman at June 21, 2006 02:49 PMI'd like to clarify the allstar selection process. First, the fans pick the starting eight. Then the players ballots come in and this determines a back-up player for each position and most of the pitching staff. The manager fills out the roster (30) by first making sure each team has one rep and then filling any remaining spots. And finally there's the final vote for one last player.
I don't exactly how many picks Ozzie gets, but he isn't going to be able to fill out the roster with White Sox. If Johan and Joe are not picked by their fellow players, that will be disgraceful. However, Joe deserves to start the game, so keep voting Mauer.
Posted by: Bob at June 21, 2006 02:50 PMBob-
Nicely put.
Sorry off topic a bit -
someone the other day had asked about baseball unplugged with DJ Cuddles next Wednesday -
It will be held here:
Wednesday, June 28 - Guests will be Boof Bonser and Willie Eyre held at Turtle's Bar & Grill in Shakopee
Lew Skywalker will be at the Broadway Pizza in Maplewood on the 29th of June at 6pm
Sorry about the interuption!
Much Love
Wonder Woman
my last all-star gripe
Why don't we just call the all stars the "top 2 major league payroll aka boston/NY vs the national league game", sponsored by east coast loving ESPN.
Personally, I find "J-Crew" to be whimsical.
Posted by: CarrieICL at June 21, 2006 04:50 PMpardon the curmudgeonly comment but i am waaay sick of J-this and L-whatever. Please it makes me think of J-Lo and A-Rod and then I have to go throw up and that reminds me of high school and that's not nice. I also cannot stand the racist connotations of soul patrol (not to mention it's only clever in an eight year old boy pretending to be a superhero sort of way).
Finally, please leave Aaron Gleeman alone!
thank you for letting me rant.
Do you think Veep was practicing his crocheting for the upcoming July 13th game?
http://www.stitchnpitch.com/pdf/StitchNPitchTwins.pdf
Ol' Methuselah Mulholland waived by the Diamondbacks... maybe we can pick him up, for old time's sake?
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2495148
Posted by: BlueCanoe at June 21, 2006 06:40 PM25 times a day!!?! All of my toes will have to vote every day now (And I will be abil to stop makeing up e-mail addresses:-)
I also find it anoying haveing to un check the "Please spam me" thing every time.
This was on twinsbaseball.com
{Stumping for Mauer: There is no doubt in Gardenhire's mind that catcher Joe Mauer should be an All-Star.
So with the reality that Mauer likely will not be elected by the fan vote, the Twins skipper said that he would make a call soon to White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who will get to make additional selections as the American League manager.
Complete coverage >The two managers are good friends and though Gardenhire knows there are strict rules in place around baseball to make sure deserving players get bids, he wants to make sure Guillen knows his thoughts on the issue.
"As we get closer to the thing, I will give him a call and let him know," Gardenhire said.
Gardenhire certainly has the support of at least one other AL manager in Oakland's Ken Macha.
"Joe Mauer, the guy is leading the league in hitting, and he has about 460,000 votes, and [position leader] Jason Varitek has more than 800,000," Macha said when asked about recent fan voting results. "That's a disgrace. Let's hope [Mauer] gets picked for the team. There's your small market/big market kind of disparity." }
Posted by: Twin-X at June 21, 2006 10:51 PM