Kansas City at Twins. Twins 6, Royals 1
Was it going to be different tonight? Did Johan's performance last night restore all balance to the universe and give the pitching staff permission not to suck? (Which, really, Batgirl would have done ages ago, if someone had only asked.) We couldn't tell as Bradke took the mound tonight. We prepared to watch as we watch all of his first innings, with our hands in front of our eyes, ready to gouge them out at the first sign of trouble. And the first two batters worked him and worked him good, but Radke won each battle. Then there was the single and, oh yes, we had danced this dance before. Next would be a double, next a home run just past the right field foul pole, ba ding ba dang ba damn, a 3-run deficit. But not tonight, ladies and gentlemen, because tonight Brad Radke had a plan. Pitching Inside the plan was called. Clearly, his mother watched the game on Friday night and clearly she heard Bert Blyleven ranting about the Twins sissified treatment of the inside corner and clearly she called up her son and said, "Bradley, Snookums, Bert says you are being a big pussy." And clearly Brad did not take well to his mother calling him a pussy. And so, when Matt Stairs strode up to the plate with one on and two out, he cast a glance over to the dugout and meet El Presidente's eyes, and El Presidente nodded at him steelily and Bradke nodded back and then—one, two, three strikes you're out. Sit down, bitch.
The next inning—and, oh, this year when the first inning doesn't kill you the second does—and Douglas Mientkiewicz and his luscious long locks lined a 1-2 pitch for a double, and our hands slowly crept up to our faces again. But no, no, because Brad Radke is Pitching Inside and Emil Brown is sitting down and Mark Teahan is sitting down and suddenly there is fire in Radke's eyes. Yes, yes it says, This is how it should be. Yes, yes, it says, tonight I am in command.
Every inning, the fire burned more brightly, every inning he strode on and off the mound with utter surety, utter clarity, utter focus, utter kickassedness. Smoke is coming off of him by the fifth inning and Rick Anderson wants to douse him because surely that can't be healthy but Wayne Hattaway says, "No, son, there is nothing we can do for him now." And when it is finally over, when Radke has pitched inside to the tune of 7 innings, 4 hits, 1 run, 7 strikeouts, when he is in the clubhouse and the lockers around him burst into flames, melting all of Lew Ford's Star Wars guys, Brad Radke calls up his mother and says, "I am Brad Radke, and I am not dead yet."
Love it.
Honestly, though... I need a sweep this series. I need a reason to stay tuned in and turned on. I can't take the ups and downs this entire season. My GI's just not up to it.
Posted by: haplo at May 3, 2006 10:57 PMSucks to know that we were only 1 out away from gaining a game in the division. Every game counts when it comes to morale.
Posted by: Drew at May 3, 2006 11:13 PMI was at the game tonight with some friends, and I was expecting it to be a huge scoring game on both sides-- i mean, look at the pitchers, right?
wow, was i surprised! radke did a fabulous job, and the hitters managed to get some hits! and then we got to see liri kick some ass out there. great game!
Posted by: Hannah! at May 3, 2006 11:16 PMThere is no problem that can't be solved by playing the Royals. Especially at home: It's May, and Kansas City still hasn't won on the road. (Hope I haven't jinxed Thursday's game...)
Here's more cause for hope, from MLB.com:
MINNEAPOLIS -- Plenty of questions have been asked about Carlos Silva's early struggles, but the Twins believe they have found the answer.
Twins pitching coach Rick Anderson realized Silva was moving his head to a position that left his arm lagging behind, thus disrupting his natural motion.
"You can't get on top of it and sink that way," Anderson said. "When your head is up and on, you're arm will follow. He was on top in both of his bullpens and locating the best I've seen him."
Click on my name for the rest of the article.
Posted by: The Commish at May 4, 2006 01:16 AMWe've got Joe Mays on the mound. Ain't that a beautiful sight?
Posted by: timprov at May 4, 2006 01:28 AMWow, I certainly didn't realize what the motivation was for Brad's performance tonight. Now it all makes sense.
I can't imagine too many thing worse than hearing your mother tell you you're a pussy. In fact, mothers should just not use that word at all. I hope that Bradley has learned his lesson. It is so nice to bring out the "sit down bitches" when Brad is on the mound. A stellar performance by Brad and the reporting team at Batgirl.
By the way, Commish, that article is a cover. I found the real answer to Carlos' problems. Click my name if you want THE REST of the story
Posted by: SDave at May 4, 2006 01:31 AMDid you see the laser-deathray-glare Radke gave Dougie as he pulled into 2nd base?
"You....puke! You ball stealing puke!"
I think I'm gonna have to go to more games. I went with my mom last night. When Torii came up, she got all excited. Now me, being one with a.....touch(?) of cynicism, started to explain his lack of plate discipline. I may have explained how it's like he just closes his eyes and hopes for the best when he swings. Of course, right as the word swings leaves my mouth, the pitch ends up heading towards the Tetris shaped section in the outfield. For that result, I'm happy to look like an ass.
Posted by: Adam at May 4, 2006 06:50 AMI say we all pitch in (no pun intended) and buy Mrs Radke a pre-paid phone card with enough minutes to last through the season so she can get her son on the phone and call him a pussy oh, say, every 5 or 6 days or so.
Posted by: JimCrikket at May 4, 2006 08:23 AMOh, my. All hail to El Presidente, but when Brad is on like he was last night...well, for me at least, there's nothing quite as wonderful. (Not in baseball, anyway.) Watching large, well-muscled professional athletes look like sissies as they hack pitifully at that masterpiece of a changeup is just too exquisite for words. (Oh, and Brad, be sure to thank your mom before you wash her mouth out with soap.)
Posted by: adidasman at May 4, 2006 08:35 AMI'm surprised Brad didn't say, "Mom. You didn't name me Bradley. Why are you calling me that?"
On the other hand, at least he didn't let the details get in the way of her real message.
Here's to listening to what Mom says!
Posted by: JustBeth at May 4, 2006 08:39 AM
That was beautiful.
Seven innings from Bradke! I'm SPEECHLESS!
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at May 4, 2006 08:43 AMI heart Brad!!!
Plus - he just seems to get better looking as he ages!!! WHOOOAAAAAAAA NELLIE =)
Much Love
Wonder Woman
Dear WW;
I wholeheartedly agree. It was very, very good to see the true Brad Radke again.
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at May 4, 2006 09:05 AMSeriously? All this love for Radke? I've been saying he's been terrible for about 4 years, and for the most part, I've been right. This year has been his worst yet. His line on the year so far?
3-3 with an ERA of 7.29 (!), 11 HR (!!), a WHIP of 1.54 and a BAA of .336 (!!!).
C'MON!
OK, he put up good numbers against THE AA ROYALS, but maybe we should all just be honest with ourselves:
He really is Brad BADke.
Seacrest out.
Ahhhh, Beeg. It's beautiful! Wins! Two of them! Right in a row! and the sitting down of bitches.... *sigh*
Posted by: wildchild at May 4, 2006 09:21 AMMagical night at the Humphrey Dome last night. It was another chilly dome day - nice to be out of the elements. I sat with in my buddy's company seats on the first level near third base. We had a great view of Brad Radke changing speeds from 75 to 91. The umpire called strikes, hallelujah, resulting in 15 Ks, 10 for Twins pitchers (Radke 7, Liriano 3), and a sensible 2:15 game. I had hopes that this game would help Brad out. I have a soft spot for Joe Mays – I think he was the only Twins pitcher to beat the Angels in the '02 AL Championship Series – but he has never rebounded from his Tommy John surgery, and I don't miss his 11.07 ERA. (I see our six runs helped lower Joe's ERA, so you're welcome there, old friend.)
It was good to see Dougie "Left it in Minnesota" again. He batted well, but thankfully not well enough to carry the Royals. Torii "When You're In Love With A Beautiful Center Fielder" Hunter hit a no-doubt first pitch home run to deep center field in the third inning to help keep things light hearted. I got to see the 'Cisco Kid for the first time this year, up close. Man, he looked like he threw anger management hard, especially after watching Mays, Radke, and "Gobble" Gobble for 7 innings.
I bought my first GameDay, the black market program and scorecard edited by Twins Geek John Bonnes (who's new blog is the bomb), with contributing writers including Andy Wink and Will Young. What a treat! A loving article about Lyman Bostock ("Bostock's Death Most Senseless of Twins Who Have Died") and fun facts on Kirbyyyyy ("34 About 34"). The pull out Dugout Splinters gives tons of fun stats. I appreciate that they include the salaries of the players; a quick look and I could confidently yell "Swing the bat, millionaire!" at Emil Brown.
One more night of rehearsal, then bring on the Tigers!
hey nailbiter, where did you find the Gamedays programs? i looked for them earlier this year under the Super America sign across the street from Hubert's, but they weren't there.
of course, the game i went to was on Easter... maybe they were just taking the holiday off?
The guy was right at the end of Puckett Place by the LRT station.
Posted by: nailbiter at May 4, 2006 11:24 AMDearest Bradke,
Thank you for reminding me why I've loved you all these years. And if it takes your mom calling you a pussy to pitch like that, then may she do it every 5 days.
Love,
Stacy
*reminds self that this is the Royals*
I refuse to let myself get excited just yet. Our Rochester triple A team could take two in a row at home from the Royals just as easily...
Posted by: Spyder44 at May 4, 2006 12:06 PMI heartily endorse the GameDay program also. I've always found it around the big neon Superamerica sign on the triangle near Chicago and Sixth. They sometimes walk around to different parts of the triangle but they're usually there.
Posted by: Dr. Jane at May 4, 2006 12:37 PMI thought maybe all this retirement talk about Bradke got into his head a year early. I hope he learned his lesson and can get his ERA under 6.
He gives me the nightclub jitters -- I need a drink to watch him pitch.
Well, if you can't send all your pitchers to AAA, it's nice when AAA can come to you.
Reading today's entry, Beege, I couldn't help but imagine this conversation in the bullpen taking place last night...
Boo: Gardy's gonna have me work every day of the Tigers series this weekend. I can tell already. And I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... because I'm a big pussy... which is why I pitch for the Twins to begin with.
Twitchy: Uh, yeah, well, I pitch for the Twins and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK?
Cisco Kid: Yes, I am also not a pussy.
Posted by: frightwig at May 4, 2006 03:03 PMYay! Last night was our first game at the Dome this season, and Alex's first ever. (He's almost 6 months old.) We even brought a big sign that read: "Circle Me, Bert! It's My Rookie Year!" but according to my in-laws, we didn't get circled. {Sniff!}
HOWEVER, we made it onto the JumboTron! I think it was around the 6th inning: My wife, myself, Elizabeth (2 yrs) and Alex. We were up in section 207. My wife complained that she's been going to Twins games since she was 3 years old, and never made it onto the JumboTron, and then Alex goes to his first game and voila! :D
An all-around EXCELLENT time was had by all last night -- except for waiting in line for $1 dogs. Gad, but it's getting to the point where it's almost not worth the wait anymore.
Posted by: Salt-Man Z at May 4, 2006 05:08 PMI would comment on your language today BG if it wasn't so damn funny!
Bradke shut down the Royals and it was great to watch but he would have done the same to the White Sox after his mom called him a p***y
Damn that was funny
Posted by: cal at May 4, 2006 07:08 PM