It’s terrible when Batgirl is gone. The Batquarters are never quite the same without her. …Well, they’re not even remotely the same. Goober, Sooz, and I sort of let the place go. …Actually, we tend to go on cake and pizza-eating binges until the money she’s left us runs out. Then, we each start hording what we can find in the cupboards until finally we wrestle over the last few cheetos and a can of midget peas.
But that’s not the problem tonight. Tonight the problem is that I’ve been left wearing the mantle of Boyfriend of the Day Supreme High Comandress. (It’s actually quite a fetching mantle…“I feel charming, oh so charming!”) And the problem with being BODSHC is that you have to, uh, pick the Boyfriend of the Day. It’s hard work.
You need to identify the player who most contributed to the Twins’ victory. If I go by that criterion, I could select Vlad Guerrero who failed to catch a looping hit to right field, allowing a run to score in the Twins’ big 4-run sixth inning.
But you’re really not supposed to give the B.O.D. to an opposing player.
Team Batgirl’s Boyfriends are supposed to be given first consideration, so I could give the B.O.D. to Lew Ford for the RBI he earned during the Twins’ sixth inning rally and, more importantly, for using his Jedi calm to call forth a game-tying walk in the ninth inning.
But can you really invest someone with the B.O.D. for getting a walk?
Maybe, but not on a night when a certain D.J. Cuddles strode to the plate, drew upon the awesome power of his stupendous dimples, and sent the ball hurtling towards a blue wall of collapsed plastic chairs for the victory. The sound of the impact reverberated throughout the Batquarters located just behind the right field wall, waking Batbaby (unless it was the cheetos tossed in the air in celebration that did it).
Batbaby/Torii: 3; Readers/The Field: 3; Goober/Justin: 1; Everybody Else: 0.
Posted by Jeb at April 19, 2006 10:33 PMHmmm, and who was it that started that "sweet two-out rally" in the sixth with a sweet two out RBI?
Oh, that's right it was Sweet Lew. The same Sweet Lew that took an 8 pitch walk against one of the best closers in the game tonight.
It was also the same Sweet Lew that turned another walk into a run, giving him 6 runs scored this season in only 18ABs.
Cuddyer's HR was nice, but it was against one of the great implosion artists in all of baseball.
Lew's was truly a work of art.
And yes, when it's an 8 pitch walk against one of the best closers in the game you can get a BOD, especially when there is two outs in the bottom of the ninth.
Posted by: Twinz at April 19, 2006 11:45 PMI can see choosing the DJ, but I'm going to say for the record that Lew holding back on that 3-2 pitch that was just a tad low was as much a demonstration of courage as Hannibal galloping into Rome on an elephant. Is that what Hannibal did? Never mind, what I'm saying is that Lew is the man.
Posted by: Kurtis at April 19, 2006 11:52 PMOh, sweet Lou indeed.
But can't we, for the sake of poetry, make one exception and name JC as the BOD? He never got it as a Twin (that I'm aware of...and if so, bad veggie burger?).
I mean, I'm not one to break convention, especially when BODSHC isn't truly in the house, but sitting right above Cuddy's albeit clutch dinger, it was really the first time as a Twins fan I ever uttered the words, "Thank YOU, J.C. Romero."
It's worth an honorable mention.
On another note, tonight I witnessed an atrocity. A crime against baseball, if you will. And I know you will.
During the bottom of the ninth, we were invaded by douchebags. In our cozy, free-ticket KFAN suite, two "chicks" came in and STARTED ROOTING FOR THE ANGELS. They were nowhere to be found for the other 8 1/2 innings.
Now, being a polite Minnesotan, it took all the Lutheran I don't have anywhere in my bloodline to not clock these "fans" in the side of the head. Apparently, her "friends play for the Angels" and she picked this moment (during an at-bat, mind you) to shimmy her way in between my hapless male cohorts to watch the inning. Showed up out of nowhere, like a drunk college roommate in town for the weekend. And started shouting. Loudly. For the other team.
Anyone have suggestions, other than throwing her over the plexiglass to Vladi's cursed (tonight) glove? Do I blame security? Carl Pohlad? Help me.
Posted by: Ames at April 20, 2006 01:54 AMI know we're not supposed to be questioning BOD calls...but I'm gonna pull a Gardy and freak out because Lew has deserved at least 2 BODs so far, possibly a third.
Throw me out of the game if you must. I'll be back tomorrow.
Posted by: Phil at April 20, 2006 02:21 AMAmes, Being a women myself, I have alway found a spilling a beer (a pop, drink or water will do also) in to the middle hip area usually gets rid of the pesky chicks. Just a thought.
Posted by: Mary at April 20, 2006 04:40 AMwell, I'm happy as all get-out for Cuddy! woohoo! not only did he get a hit in April, but he got a walk-off home run! sweet!
Posted by: kafumbly at April 20, 2006 07:03 AMThat's my man!!
Posted by: LaurieNY at April 20, 2006 07:26 AMYay! Nothing like a boyfriend's pinch-hit walk-off home run to improve a bad day! :)
Posted by: JustBeth at April 20, 2006 08:07 AMAs my "Cuddy is my husband" t-shirt has inexplicably still not materialized, I'll have to make do with the prenuptial "boyfriend" one today. ;-)
He is awesome, isn't he? I think I woke up the neighborhood last night (it was 11:30 here).
Posted by: LaurieNY at April 20, 2006 08:20 AMI would like to give HUGE mad props to the unsung boyfriend of the year so far... Luis Castillo is slowly becoming my non-sexual man-crush of every game, because he's doing exactly waht the Twins are paying him to do. The man is on base ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Who scored the tying run on Saturday against the Yankees because he happened to be on third base when Justincredible decided to live up to his name? LUIS. Who scored the WINNING run last night when DJ Cuddles spun his greatest hit? LUIS. His stolen bases are fantastic, his defense is beautiful, his team-leading OBP is up to .460, and his at-bats are all professional and fantastic. Keep it up, Luis. I truly believe he is the spark that has gotten this offense going this year.
These boys are fun to watch.
Posted by: Neil at April 20, 2006 08:54 AMCastillo has been my "guy" all this year (something my wife's family does, kind of like boyfriends) and it's been fun. I love watching him get all excited when he slides into base, clapping his hands like that and cheering his teammates on. LOVE it.
Posted by: Salt-Man Z at April 20, 2006 09:45 AMThe Cuddy homer was slick. But credit Lew for a gusty take on an ump with a bit of an odd strike zone (lest we forget Castillo getting called out on two pitches?)
His walk last night reminded me of Mauer's gusty takes against Rivera on Saturday. The hit would've been HUGE...but at that point, Lew knew we needed at least one. And he had to get that run somehow.
Posted by: Torhu at April 20, 2006 10:27 AMI liked the 10-10, 10 o-clock reference. Reminds me to say (to the world now, actually!) that I became a grandpa yesterday at 7 a.m., with grandson weighing 7#, 7 oz., and 21 inches long. Oh, he's my Mother-in-law's 7th great-grandchild! I'm already teaching him Joe Mauer's number (an easy one!). I think he'll be a quick study. Anyway, I think the seven's are pretty cool, and the ten's are a close second.
So, how soon is too soon to take my grandson to a game?
Congratulations, Shak. To answer your question, there's a game at noon today!
Posted by: Kurtis at April 20, 2006 10:55 AMI'm not one to question the pinch-BODSHC. Especially over a pinch-hit tied-game tenth-inning home run. That was sweeeeet. But if it were me? I'd have given it to a *former* twin for finally getting around to helping the twins from the mound.
Posted by: twink at April 20, 2006 12:14 PMLove to Lew and Michael.
Oh, I'm so incredibly happy today. So incredibly happy!
Posted by: Candace at April 20, 2006 12:17 PM