Justin Morneau has had a prodigious career for a young lad. But it was not until today that he could count himself among the great Justins in baseball history. Who, for instance, could forget Justine Bateman's spikes-up, takeout slide of Nell Carter in the famous Family Ties-Gimme A Break intramural slugfest in 1982. Or Justin Timberlake's gangsta rap/jazz hands interpretation of the 1927 Yankees "Murderers Row" pennant drive. But today's heroics rivaled those of Justinian, the Roman Emperor credited with bringing Bakbal to Rome from Greece and rechristening it "Bakbalum." Unlike the Greek version -- played in the nude with three small goats serving as the bases or "baks" -- the Roman version involved a ball made of flaming tar, a bat rendered from a large fertility symbol, and an angry bear chained to first base. The Romans always pitched, the Gauls always batted, and no one ever got past first base (except romantically). Playing the Yankees sometimes feels like that, except this time the Empire fell. A solitary Gaul came to the plate in the ninth inning, brushed his sandy ringlets away from his eyes, looked at the flaming missile coming from the Emperor, and said: "I am not afraid." One swing, one fluttering hit, ecstasy. And that makes you, Justin Morneau, not just a great Justin in history, but -- even more importantly -- the Boyfriend of the Day.
Batbaby/Torii: 3; Readers/The Field: 2; Goober/Justin: 1; Everybody Else: 0.
Posted by Goober at April 15, 2006 10:19 PMYeah . . . he may just be my boyfriend this year.
Huzzah!
It will be hours before I will be able to sleep! Great game and great recap RD!
Posted by: Marykay at April 15, 2006 11:12 PMWe beat Rivera. Just take a moment to breathe that in.
We. Beat. Rivera.
Posted by: Torhu at April 15, 2006 11:29 PMSeems like Mario Rivera was too focused on the Koopas and forgot to watch out for the Hammer Bros.!
Also, I heartily welcome the return of Bakbal history lessons.
Posted by: PsyMar at April 15, 2006 11:36 PMWait, Nell Carter was on Gimme A Break, wasn't she? Are you thinking of Charlotte Rae?
Posted by: joshlee at April 15, 2006 11:44 PMDearest Goober,
You are setting a very high standard for BOD writing. Please don't Pipp BG.
Sincerely,
Your sister
p.s. congratulations on a much deserved BOD. You must be so proud.
Posted by: Batgirl at April 15, 2006 11:55 PMNormally I'm on pins and needles when Justin comes up to bat in a 2 out runners on situation - but tonight at the game and incredible sense of peace came over me and I just knew he had this moment in him. Hitting Rivera was simply awesome!
Posted by: MrsMorneau at April 16, 2006 12:02 AMYeah...Nell Carter was Gimme a Break. Maybe he's picturing Justine Bateman going spikes-up into Nancy McKeon. At age 14, I might have enjoyed watching that.
Posted by: teacherrefpoet at April 16, 2006 12:21 AMBakbalum glory!
Posted by: Jeb at April 16, 2006 12:45 AMDarnit, it WAS Gimme A Break. I fixed it. Thanks!
Posted by: Goober at April 16, 2006 09:20 AMAs a Classics major in Rome, I heartily endorse this comparison...though I favor Justincredible to Justinian, mainly because he never closed down Plato's Academy. Bad Justinian. Bad.
Posted by: Andrew at April 16, 2006 09:28 AMThis girl couldn't be happier!
Posted by: Mic at April 16, 2006 10:37 AMAfter Torii struck out, I told myself that it was okay, because justin was coming up and he could pick us up because he'd been doing so good so far... but I wasn't sure if I could really believe that. and then he hit that single. and smiled! on the field! i was in ecstatic shock...
Posted by: Hannah! at April 16, 2006 12:06 PM