While it might seem glamorous living in the Batquarters in the giant Land O'Lakes milk bottle in right field, it has it's drawbacks. For one thing, we have to keep topping the thing off. Every two weeks or so, Goober pops the top, drops a rope down, climbs out, and trots over to SuperAmerica to buy 16,000 regular-sized gallons of lactose-free milk. Then it's back to the Dome, pour the milk in, close the hatch, and change the expiration date. Tough duty that. But what can you do? The Batquarters runs on milk. If it's not for Sooz's Courtney Love-style Honey Bunches of Oats habit, it's for Batgirl's giant, celebrity-sized Hammacher Schlemmer smoothie machine. As explained to Goober, for the want of some milk, the smoothie was lost; for the want of a smoothie, the Batgirl was lost; and for the want of a Batgirl, the blog was lost. So Goober's got a big responsibility.

Of course, these days, the Batquarters is not the only thing that runs on milk. Batbaby knows what she likes and she likes what she knows. And what Batbaby likes and knows is MILK. So while Goober makes sure the Batquarters has plenty of the Oreo-dunking variety, Sooz ensures that Batbaby gets the good stuff. And afterwards the little tyke is really something to behold: full, sleepy, and happy.

And isn't that how it was today? While we work-a-day minions were laboring, the Twins were just smacking the crap out of the ball. And wouldn't you know it? A lead. After the first inning. That we never gave up. Even with Kyle Lohse pitching. To be sure, there's a lot of credit to go around. Redmond had three hits and two RBIs. And Stewie had two hits and two RBIs. But the big one in this game was the one that put us over top: Torii's two-run dinger in the first. Now, I'm not claiming that it's Sweetcheeks' strong teeth and bones that did the trick. But after the first, the whole stadium looked full, sleepy, and happy. And so did work-a-day Twins fans everywhere. Now Torii's milkshake might not bring all the boys to the yard just yet. But it does make him the Boyfriend of the Day.

You go, Batbaby.

Batbaby/Torii: 3; The Field: 1; Everybody Else: 0.