Oakland at Twins. Twins 7, A's 6.
Goodness. Well. Things sure change quickly, don't they? I mean, here we were down 4-0 in the 3rd and to win the game would mean we would have to score five whole runs, which as any Twins fan knows is an absolutely impossible feat, I mean no baseball team has EVER scored five whole runs in one game—maybe over three games they could score five runs, maybe, if, like, some kind of miracle happened, if, like, someone stopped by and turned loaves into fishes and parted the Red Sea and healed Corey Koskie and then said, oh, by the way, as evidence for my future sainthood I am going to bless your bats and you are going to score two whole runs this game and if you wouldn't mind mentioning it to the Vatican I'd really appreciate it, if you're not too busy totally sucking because I understand that takes up a lot of time and energy and I certainly wouldn't want to impose, because I'm just that kind of guy. And meanwhile Batgirl's all bitter because she waited in line at the upper deck Grandstand Grill for forever and missed the starting lineups and the woman who was waiting on her could not seem to figure out how to work the cash register trons and she scanned Batgirl's drivers license instead of her credit card and kept punching in the wrong things and tried to charge Batgirl for three beers when she only wanted one beer, and she didn't even want it, really, it was for Goober who had forgotten his ID, and fatherhood has made him look so youthful, and then the woman didn't give her the little lettuce and tomato pack with her veggie burger and if Batgirl's paying four bucks for a freakin' veggie burger she wants her sheet of lettuce-like substance, dammit, and then Batgirl had to wait several minutes because the receipt tron was jammed and the woman wouldn't let her leave even though Batgirl didn't want her receipt and the woman kept saying, Just give me your credit card and I'll try again which did not sound like a promising proposition to Batgirl, and then finally Batgirl was allowed to leave and she fled for the condiments and Goober, who was in line behind Batgirl trying to secure hot dogs, shouted, No, don't leave me! and Batgirl's like, So long sucker! and starts sucking down the beer she bought for him because of the stress and ten minutes later Goober appears by the condiments dazed and shaking with a tray full of nothing like what he had ordered after having paid several times more what he was supposed to and he didn’t even care, he just shouted, Here, take my money, just let me go! Please! Please for the love of god! and we finally make our way up to our seats and we've missed Bradke making short work of the A's in the first inning and—hey! Look! Bradke had a one two three first inning! Wow, he must be on tonight, he must be really riding the home opener wave and we forgot all about our forced captivity at the Grandstand Grill because we were so happy and then Boom! Boom! Boom! and suddenly we're down 4-0 and, you know, loaves into fishes and Grandstand Grill veggie burger into something edible and all that. And then it’s the bottom of the 3rd and Shannon Stewart gets a hit to lead-off the inning. And that's very nice because it was the first hit of the game and it's always refreshing to get a hit because then we can't be no hit and that's always a small comfort. At least we weren't no hit, we say to ourselves, sighing gently and thinking how we had dreams once. And then Luis Castillo gets a double and he speeds his way around the bases and that's pretty fun to watch too, it's nice to have a legitimate #2 hitter, too bad no one's ever going to hit him in but then Chairman Joseph Mauer does hit him in, he hits both of them in, for a grand total of two runs and, you know, call the Pope. And we're just so dazzled by this display of offensive prowess, of the whole line-up doing what it’s supposed to do, we barely even notice when Torii hits them in and suddenly it's 4-3 with two men on and, you know, I don't want to sound crazy here, I mean I know the whole Grandstand Grill experience scarred me emotionally, but we could win this thing. Really. I mean it. And then T-Fat strides up and suddenly Batgirl sees into his mind and he is thinking to himself What is the sound of one hand clapping and If an ass-bat falls in a forest and no one hears it, does it still make a sound and a perfect peace spreads over him and then—
Boom.
And all over the Dome stale hot dog buns are turning into fishes and swimming away, swimming, swimming. And somewhere in some forest in some distant land an ass bat does fall and no one is there to hear it, but Batgirl knows it makes a sound and that sound is "Touch 'Em All, T-Fat." Touch 'em All.
Wow.
Posted by: yankeejoe at April 12, 2006 01:35 AMOOOOOH No! Brad has used up his entire run support for the year. Then again maybe not.
Posted by: Broker at April 12, 2006 02:35 AMit's still early, remember that, the hotdog person will work on their game, get in the groove and by the all star break will by psychically teleporting healthy, delicious snackage directly to Batgirl's hand even before she's thought she wants some, and the beer will be so good you'll think the metrodome was that great micro brewary I once went to in New Hope PA with a coffee stout that was so lovely I wanted to lie on the floor and purr, just as people will be saying, the 27 Yankees could hit but they were no 06 Twins.
Repeat the mantra; it's still early, there's still time
Oh, as a Red Sox fan this is painful but you need to check this out
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8547285560243429315&q=RBI+baseball&pl=true
(I got the link off CNN.com - Proffessor Wynn would be so proud of me, acknowleging my sources indeed)
On a Red Sox front (the exception to the it's early rule - it's going to be like this all the way to the end where we DOMINATE) did you see Ortiz got his big big bucks. Which is good as he had been the most stupidly underpaid player in baseball for a while. But I saw that when he joined the Sox he was competing for a spot in the lineup with Jeremy Giambi - boy have any two careers, from essentially the same point, ever gone in quite such opposite directions?
And the sun is shinning from a blue blue sky in beautiful London Town :-)
have fun Bat-Kids
D
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8547285560243429315&q=RBI+baseball&pl=true
Goober has forgotten his Id and is now simply an Ego and SuperEgo floating above crude human drives. Not the normal reaction to parenthood but there we go...
Posted by: dan in london at April 12, 2006 05:13 AMHoly expletive how I missed baseball...and amazing how Opening Day can heal all wounds. What a thrill!
BG's receipt dilemma made me wonder -- as a baseball blogger, games are a write-off right? That explains the season tickets :)
For those of you who saw the Yankee game yesterday -- that guy in the Chef's hat wearing the knockoff Knoblauch #11 jersey sitting 2 spots over from Reggie Sanders' "home run" (i think the guy-who-couldn't-get-off-his-cell-phone-long-enough-to-knock-the-ball-down turned a double into a homer myself -- and then he throws the ball back -- didn't we have this discussion that that's a Wrigley thing? You can't complain about Wanger and then throw opposing home run balls back! anyway, he had to leave a half inning later because of the ridicule from the regulars...) - that guy? that was me. look for my niece (4) and nephew (5) in the same spot tomorrow :)
If every game is like Opening Day (for both of us) it is going to be a very nice season.
Bless you Beege,
YankeeFan
So I am reading about the Twins lack of run scoring and I am thinking this sounds like something I have read before. Is it Deja vu all over again? Then I remember this is a baseball site not a hockey site. Silly me I thought I was reading about the Wild who for some reason thought the new CBA said they could only score 2 goals per game.
I know Baseball Hockey are apples and oranges but I love um both. Well lets hope the ass bats have left the building for the season (or at least this month).
And just to be safe I think all Wild players should be banned from the Dome so none of there 2 goal carma rubs off on our Twins.
Does anybody know about what looked to be a pretty nasty fight in the upper deck in the dome last night? It was tough to see what was going from near the visitor's bullpen.
Thank god we finally won another one.
Mitcho
Posted by: Mitcho at April 12, 2006 07:34 AMWell, a home opener, a win...and one exciting game. Can't hardly beat it! I wish I coulda been there with the batlings to see it!
Posted by: Mic at April 12, 2006 07:50 AMYay for wins! Yay for runs! Yay for Batgirl re-caps of what it was really like!
Posted by: JustBeth at April 12, 2006 07:55 AMTouch 'em all, indeed. Beautifully written.
Posted by: emilie at April 12, 2006 08:06 AMGo, T-Fat, go.
Posted by: CarrieICL at April 12, 2006 08:14 AMYa, I saw the fight in the upper deck. The guy behind me says "gee, do ya think that's alcohol-related". No, really? I was too busy getting up and down constantly for the people in our row who decided every time Radke was ready to pitch was a good time to get up and get beer. The win was nice, it made sitting in the attention deficit disorder row much easier to take.
Posted by: Ellen at April 12, 2006 08:26 AMwhoa, they have veggie burgers at the dome?? sweet! thanks for the somewhat unintentional tip. i'll be looking for them there this friday and saturday -- wilted lettuce pack or not.. after all, there's only so much lukewarm cheese pizza, nachos and peanuts a vegetarian baseball fan can take!
Best part of the night was when the wave came around and the girl in front of me raised her middle finger in salute to the wave.
Posted by: E at April 12, 2006 08:39 AMI don't know, I'm so dazed by the run production and the RISP that I've started thinking of new nicknames for Fat Tony that don't include the word "Fat", when I know that only leads to pain and disappointment later on when I've piled on all this cosmic pressure on him and ruined his zen and caused him to gain twenty pounds, wheras, if I continue to keep my expectations low, well, at least I can be pleasantly surprised if I'm not right.
I would like to state, however, for the record, that while I would be happy with this kind of run production every night, it would be nice if it weren't feast or famine with our bats. Oh, and if the pitching would settle down just a tad. If it's not too much to ask.
Hola. Fresh off spring break in Mexico with the fam-dam-ilia. The first time I saw an American newspaper in Oaxaca the Twins were 1-4.
Last night was my first look at the '06 team. (I don't pay much attention to spring training.) I like the line up with the new bats. Batista, Castillo, and White added to last year's Little Twins That Could (Use a Little Help Here). I also did not think Batista was as fat as advertised. He looked okay at his position, especially in relation to the last team fat guy, LeCroy.
My father-in-law gave me cheap seat season tickets for Christmas, so tonight I'll attend my first game. Thanks for the heads up on the rusty volunteer vendors. I'll get to the Dome early for a plum cheap seat and Dollar Dogs.
Posted by: nailbiter at April 12, 2006 08:57 AMOh, by the way, my 14-year old daughter is in the middle of your book and says it's "fascinating," which is a pretty big word from her. I asked her to try it first and tell me if I should read it to the 9-year old.
Posted by: nailbiter at April 12, 2006 08:59 AMThis doen't have anything to do with the Twins game, which I listened to courtesy of MLB.com, but I thought that Bat-Girl might get a kick out of it...
I have a cousin who is turning 13 at the end of May. I bought a copy of "The Shadow Theives" for her, because I will choose to support authors that I know rather than those I do not(as much as anyone can know anyone else on the internet). So, I get home last night, and my wife (who is 26) is curled up in bed just finishing up the book, and she commented on how much she enjoyed the book and how she hopes the next book comes out soon, and she also said that she enjoyed the book a lot more than she enjoyed Harry Potter. So there you have it! According to at least one person who has never met you, you're a much better author than some random lady in England writing about wizards.
Posted by: IndyBrian at April 12, 2006 09:05 AMAlso, please ignore my disregard for the "I before E" rule. I am not an author, and, having gone through multiple years of engineering classes, I'm lucky to be able to string three words together without an acronym or statistic.
Posted by: IndyBrian at April 12, 2006 09:08 AMHmm, there's a 333 word sentence in there somewhere, which is mighty impressive. (Which reminds me that 333 is just half the number of the beast. Coincidence? I think not...)
And will somebody, for the love of God, please tell me why baseball teams think it's a great idea to have their concession stands run by drooling, math challenged, volunteer escapees from local mental asylums for whom the most basic of motor skills is a challenge?
Posted by: dave paisley at April 12, 2006 09:23 AMmargin,
The Blimpies have something resembling a salad, too. It's mostly a big pile of sandwich fixins with dressing on top, but hey. It'll do in a pinch.
Posted by: infield at April 12, 2006 09:36 AMI only got to see the highlights on espn, and I'm curious - who was the A's player to catch one of the first pitches from one of Kirby's kids? My guess was Frank Thomas for that southside of chicago connection. Anybody know?
Posted by: iowa twinkie at April 12, 2006 09:41 AMGee, even BG's wonderful game recaps are prettier when the Twins win!
Posted by: AT at April 12, 2006 09:46 AMnevermind, I found it. It was their third base coach, Ron Washington, who was a close friend of Kirby's.
Posted by: iowa twinkie at April 12, 2006 09:49 AMIowa,
It was Ron Washington. Puck's roomie with the Twins.
Ron Washington, Kirby's first roommate with the team.
Posted by: heraldguy at April 12, 2006 09:51 AMAnd one of the best off-field moments? A clip of Jim "Mudcat" Grant singing "What a Wonderful World" from Kirby's memorial service during the Seventh Inning Stretch
(instead of Lee "Jingoism" Greenwood)
Posted by: heraldguy at April 12, 2006 09:54 AMIowa Twinkie---The "A" who caught Kirby Jr.'s pitch was 3B coach Ron Washington, who roomed with Kirby back in the day.
During the pre-game, I heard Gardy promise that the TWINS would wear "34" on their right sleeve throughout the season in Kirby's honor. This got me thinking---does this mean NO PIXIE VESTS?? How can you wear a "34" on a sleeve that doesn't exist? Is that the sound of one hand clapping?
Posted by: RallyMonkey at April 12, 2006 09:54 AMRallyMonkey, I had that same thought last night. We can only hope that this is the case.
Posted by: Rach at April 12, 2006 10:34 AMDear Batgirl.
Time to start giving credit where credit is due: William Falkner. But it's the best damn impession of William Faulkner I've ver seen, and , unlike the real thing, I can understand it because it's not some steamy southern brothel but a northern ball game and I have been there at the Grandstand Grill with that very clerk, God bless her soul, who probably has this job because the Twins are, you know, so community minded and all, and I've been at the condiments table with stuff I didn't want and paid way too much for in the first place, and I watched that inning with the delight of a fifth grader who's just going to his first game as part of the school partol and I had some of the very emotions that you so elequently describe.
Posted by: cmathewson at April 12, 2006 10:42 AME, thanks for bringing up the wave, and the fan that gave the appropriate salute. I mean, the wave was really cool back in, say 1982, when the Oakland Coliseum (yes, I said Coliseum, not AntiVirus Stadium or whatever they're calling it these days) fans could actually coordinate entire sections jumping to their feet at the same time, the next section following suit, etc... but it's become this lazy, backwards, embarrassing thing that only the lamest rube towns still do, and it's totally cool if you want to do it anyway, because it's not my place to be all elitist and tell you what you can and can't do, but please stop.
e-9
Posted by: e-9 at April 12, 2006 11:09 AMThe Twins get an A for their performance last night, the home plate ump gets a big fat F. Terrible strike zone.
And Bert......again with the plurals when referring to "the Joe Mauers, and the Torii Hunters". Yes, I understand that we would like to clone them, but for Pete's sake Bert, rule #1 in broadcasting should be to NOT go down this path. It's almost as bad as athletes referring to themselves in the third person.
News flash: The Twins WILL be wearing those hideous new fangled helmets that have the "air flow" slots (stupid) in them. They just haven't arrived yet from the manufacturer. Gross. Let's hope they stay on back-order.
Posted by: jimbaseball at April 12, 2006 11:43 AMOh, my goodness, heraldguy. Do you think the Twins could be so wise (and we so lucky) as to us Mudcat Grant for the 7th-Inning stretch all year? No more Lee Greenwood, ever? (I think I'm tearing up.)
Imagine the Twins in the playoffs -- no, wait, the World Series -- and instead of making the world sit through a musical declaration of how great America is, the Twins could remind everyone how great the whole world is, and in a baseball related way, with inevitable remembrances of Kirby Puckett. This would, indeed, be a beautiful thing.
Posted by: hrunting at April 12, 2006 12:06 PMHey guys, any truth to the rumor that J.K. Santana is starting on Friday, a day early?
Posted by: Ovie at April 12, 2006 12:11 PMhrunting - we can only hope...
Posted by: heraldguy at April 12, 2006 12:15 PMhrunting,
I agree, and proposed the same in the BOD comments section.
Posted by: bubblemint at April 12, 2006 12:23 PMSantana is starting on Saturday, with an extra day's rest, according to the PiPress.
Posted by: cmathewson at April 12, 2006 12:28 PMDear Yankee Fan
Isn't Jeter just the best ever ?
p.e.m.
Posted by: public enemy mike at April 12, 2006 12:37 PMNew name, same Mike. ;-)
Posted by: LaurieNY at April 12, 2006 12:52 PMPerhaps last night's game was one of the more exciting games I've seen played in some time. I admit I was ready to flip channels after the 4 runs, but I was surprised to see some fight in the Twins.
Posted by: Drewster at April 12, 2006 01:34 PMDid anyone else notice that Bert referred (multiple times) to the A's starting pitcher as Daren Haren? Classic.
Regarding Johan: according to the Twins website, he is going to start on Saturday, which is his regularly scheduled day, and not switching to Friday.
http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20060411&content_id=1395561&vkey=news_min&fext=.jsp&c_id=min
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at April 12, 2006 01:36 PMI was so glad to be back in the dome for a game!
Even before I saw the fight in the outfield area (which was very exciting to me), there was a very intoxicated looking man "escorted" down the stairs by security in our section. Just think how hard it must be to walk down the upper level stairs (practically from the ceiling) with your arm twisted in a non ergonomic position.
The downside of the game was that my sister had consumed a few beers during our pregame warm up, then cried at the Kiby tribute and continued to cry for approximately 4 innings, only to start again when "what a wonderful world" was played. Thank goodness they refrained from "proud to be an american" which would have sent her into convulsions.
Beautiful.
Posted by: Annun at April 12, 2006 03:24 PMAh, beer - the great equalizer...
Posted by: dave paisley at April 12, 2006 03:33 PMthanks guys
Posted by: Ovie at April 12, 2006 04:18 PMYou bring me such joy, Batgirl! Sadly I missed the game last night due to getting my rawk on at the Eagles of Death Metal concert. But, reading your post, I feel like I was really there. Right down to wanting to choke a Grandstand Grill employee. I'll get my first Dome dog of the season at tomorrow's game. I hope by then the new employees will have learned how to operate the registers. A dream, I know, but what would we be without dream? Hmm? Certainly not Twins fans.
Posted by: Caledonia at April 12, 2006 04:28 PMWell, I was watching the pre-game, and I'm pretty sure there's no point in actually watching the game. Why? Because they interviewed Joe Nathan, and he was wearing a demon pixie vest.
Nothing, unless it's a Silva perfect game and a Punto grand slam, will make me accept the pixie vest.
Posted by: Chris at April 12, 2006 06:41 PMOkay. I'm watching the pixie-vest clad homies, and frankly, the costume looks like Baseball's Leisure Suit. It's hurting my eyes, but not like....well, you know.
It does look better with Morneau's long sleeves than with most of the guys' short sleeves. It would look even better on a rack in a locked closet, down a long, dark hallway beneath the stairs in an underground dungeon. I think.
Posted by: RallyMonkey at April 12, 2006 07:31 PMbtw, were those red streaks on the shirt sleeves of the Twins tonight (Wed)? I thought it might be my t.v. kinda ugly. I actually did not mind the vests (I know, blasphemy) but the shirts with red streaks? What's that about?
2 in a row. ya ya!
-cool, Kal
Posted by: kal at April 12, 2006 10:31 PM