Dear Batgirl,
Please help me. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm so nervous about the WBC. We have 15 players on various rosters and if Johan Santana so much as stubs his toe I'm going to have a heart attack. What do I do? Can we give them all bubble wrap treatment before they go?
Sincerely,
Sleepless in St. Louis Park
Dear Sleepless,
I know, I know. Batgirl's had to up her Xanax quotient as this blasted thing draws closer. When the games start she's going to have worse blood pressure than Gardy. Batgirl recommends constant consumption of alcoholic beverages during the WBC--you can use a thermos at work. Remember, vodka doesn't smell on your breath. As for bubble wrap, Batgirl herself has delivered four industrial size rolls to Fort Myers. She thinks they know what to do.
Viva Venezuela,
Batgirl
It sounds like four rolls may only be enough to envelop Mr. Batista; if he ends up heading to the WBC, what will the rest of our boys do for protection? Can we get some of those sumo wrestler suits that they use at NBA halftime shows and put Johan and Carlos and Joe in them? Not only will that protect them, but it'll make for an entertaining show as well. Bud will be thrilled.
Posted by: adidasman at February 28, 2006 09:40 AM