Kansas City at Twins. Royals 10, Twins 6.
Quickly, quickly, all those Royals homers hypnotized Batgirl into intense sleepiness. Like sheep jumping over fences, like cows jumping over the moon, the ball kept sailing over the wall, one dinger, two dingers, three dingerzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Really, if you can't sleep some night, you should try it, just close your eyes and replay the 6th inning of this game—unless you are Travis Bowyer, in which case I wouldn't recommend it. If you are Travis Bowyer I recommend getting the memory chip removed. There, there. You won’t feel a thing. It's all going to be okay.
Anyway, as regular readers know, Batgirl played volleyball her sophomore year of high school, and if you have read closely you may have realized that her team was not very good. Batgirl's JV volleyball team made the Kansas City Royals look like the St. Louis Cardinals, the problem being that none of us knew how to play volleyball. We certainly never won a match, and Batgirl is unsure whether or not we even won a game, though Batgirl can say with some certainty that we did occasionally score points.
Probably.
Now, BatDad was a high-powered executive and rather busy with myriad better things to do than come to watch his daughter get hit on the head with volleyballs. And yet, BatDad came to every single one of Batgirl's volleyball games and he cheered his BatDad heart out, though for what BG cannot imagine. Batgirl is not sure, but she thinks this must have been even more painful than all the junior high choir concerts put together. (Though, actually for one high school concert, BatDad sat in front of the video camera, and when Batgirl's choir watched the video the next day, we got to watch BatDad nodding off through the whole thing. So I guess he didn't suffer that much.)
But the point is that he came, and Batgirl still doesn't know why, but she does know that what he experienced watching those games was something akin to what we're going through now as the Twins Quest for .500. There were moments of excitement, when Batgirl landed a serve or actually bumped the ball with her arms instead of her face, but mostly it was a bunch of pubescent girls in kneepads and polyester standing around while the ball dropped—plunk—right in the middle of the floor.
The point is, you and I, we are the only ones left. The lights are out and it is cold in here and I am so very, very hungry. Every once in awhile I think someone is coming to save me—I see a man with a blanket and some vegetarian Dome Dogs and he is smiling at me and he says, "Shh, shhh, it's going to be all right now, I am here to help you," but then I blink and he is gone. I do not care. I do not want to be saved—not yet. For these are my Twins and if they are going to spend the last games of the season getting hit in the nads with volleyballs, Batgirl will be there to watch every last bounce. For she is Batgirl, she is a Twins fan, and she needs serious and immediate psychological help.
Dingers for Dollars Update: Oh, sweet Jesus, some dingers! LNP and Li'l Rod both went long tonight. Those homers were the last two of our very generous matching grant, and including some LNP homer bonuses, that makes:
$ 3232 for hurricane relief.
Thank you to Little Nicky Punto and Li'l Rod for hitting DINGERS FOR DOLLARS.
poor travis... and rodriguez was so close to getting a bod, from me, at least...
Posted by: Hannah! at September 29, 2005 10:36 PMI know the normal person is probably sad over this loss. But then again, I'm not very normal.
I am absolutely giddy over Luis' awesome night and his second Major League home run and he was just amazing tonight and I'm going to be giddy for this because I have been waiting for something like this from him for a LONG time :-D
Posted by: Candace at September 29, 2005 10:51 PMWell, this game was to be expected. The Royals played a bunch of their triple-A guys, who are in all aspects superior to their major league team. At least 6 runs, that's, that's better than 1, or 0. Hats can be hung on that nice little personal victory.
*returns to the White Sox champagne shower*
-Pander
Celebratory, take-THAT-Baseball-Tonight-prognosticators White Sox Fan.
Good Job, Pander. You guys ONLY lost 13 games in the standings in a little over a month. We're so very proud. As Mark Bue, Buh, Burl.... that guy said last year, "They'll lose in the first round anyway."
At least the few remaining fans get to finally see LIRIANO tommorrow night!!!!
Posted by: Ovie at September 29, 2005 11:12 PMSometimes I wonder how Batgirl can be so talented. She does work hard and puts her heart into it--and she had some excellent support behind her. Hats off to BatDad (and presumably BatMom and Goober--and later, Jeb and Sooz) for all your efforts. We appreciate it, much like we appreciated the efforts of the Twins offense tonight (no double plays!). And our hats off to Batgirl, like our hats were off for the Little Guys tonight.
Posted by: Just Beth at September 29, 2005 11:19 PMYe-ah LNP! My Bonus Baby!
Posted by: BAT bandwagoner at September 29, 2005 11:25 PMI was so sure that LNP or Rodriguez would be BOD, I stopped following the game after the 5th inning.
What happened to Bowyer? Was this some sort of bizarre attempt to participate in CPC&T gone horribly wrong?
Posted by: goesboom at September 29, 2005 11:32 PMWhy is it that when we score runs our pitching sucks?
Posted by: Stacy at September 29, 2005 11:51 PMI feel so sad for Bowyer. he's been so good. but every pitcher is going to have a rough outing now and then. I think he'll be (almost) as solid next season as Jesse Crain has been this season.
I missed the game. this is probably the fifth game I have missed all season. when I got in my car around 10:30, I turned on 'CCO, hoping to catch the score in the postgame show. I tuned in just in time for the highlights. I was so excited when Dark got to the part with the Twins dingers and taking the lead and stuff. wow, Joe Mays let up five runs and we won?! yahoo! and then... well, yeah. he continued with the highlights.
tomorrow, I shall watch the replay, and upon the completion of the fifth inning, I shall turn the channel. in my mind, then, we shall always have won this game. Denial really IS just a river in Egypt, you know. ;-)
Posted by: kafumbly at September 29, 2005 11:52 PMGardy called out some players for mailing it in at the end and not trying hard. Gardy didnt try to win this one. Dont call the kettle black if you arent going to try to win Gardy.
Posted by: Scotty_Dawg at September 30, 2005 01:02 AM"Good Job, Pander. You guys ONLY lost 13 games in the standings in a little over a month. We're so very proud. As Mark Bue, Buh, Burl.... that guy said last year, "They'll lose in the first round anyway.""
-Ovie
I don't speak for the players, I never have. Some of them always talk, see Dmitri Young for an interesting early-season comment about the AL Central being a race between Detroit and Cleveland (Well, half-right beats none-right, right?). Take him to task for what he said.
However, last year on this site, after seeing a hard-fought battle end in defeat for my side (largely after a momentum shifting charge by Torii Hunter in a 2004 game few Twins fans will forget), I did nothing but wish for the Twins to make it to the World Series, and barring some team I like more in the NL making it to the World Series (San Diego and the Cubs, oddly enough), hoped them to win it.
It's not just an empty, classy gesture or requisite action for a seeming enemy of a guest to do in such a situation, it's what I wanted to do because you guys deserved it for your solid play on the field. Play that didn't really emerge for this team this year after June, largely due to injury and loss of team direction. You guys didn't have a 5th starter (a problem I'm well aware of as a Sox fan), you didn't have the same defense you lived on (again, a problem as a Sox fan I'm well aware of), and as noted numerous times on this site, you lacked any offensive firepower (ditto again, only this time it's true for us this year instead of last!). My diagnosis? The team was on "coast" mode, GM/owner focusing only on replacing costly players with developing new ones. Unless you're Billy Beane, to go from the seasoned veterans of the 2002-2004 campaigns to starting damn near over again with 2nd year players (Mauer, Morneau, Ford...) will take another 2-3 years. And given the diminished esprit de corps? Maybe never, maybe the planned replacements won't go as planned.
I'm hoping things go well though. I want my Sox to win, but never at the expense of the Central as a whole. While I'd certainly smile at hearing how Johan Santana would need to skip a start against us sometime due to soreness or something, I'd be aghast to hear he's injured for a season or something similar. I want to win the right way. I envy the NL East. 5 teams, 5 teams above .500. We have two and a half. I want to be part of that division that beats up on everyone else, and to have that, I feel a strong need to root for the other teams in our division as much as I root against them. I've been rooting against Cleveland for the last couple weeks, predictably, but now that we're in? I want them in too. I want Boston to sweep New York, and the Indians to sweep us. Insane, no? I don't want it given to the Indians, but I hope they show the drive and fight that got them in this position in the first place, and just outplay us for three games (and three games only, mind you).
But I digress. My point is, show a little goddamn class. Part of having a rivalry, even with the reviled mustache-waxing villain of the story, is the occassional licking of wounds and gracious acceptance of a fair defeat. We could only have lost 13 1/2 games and win as we did by gaining 15, and that's why despite everyone thinking the last three weeks being so damned important, the first fifteen weeks still have some weight too. We won, and I hope we win it all in the post-season, and end this whole "everyone but the AL Central" stigma we've had since you guys last did it. And if you come out and beat us next year, I hope you get it. Or if Cleveland wins, I hope they take it all, same with Detroit. KC? Well, it's funny to see Jose Lima lose, so I really don't mind them losing so much. But c'mon. Show some unity, lend some support, and say "Go Bitch Sox" for once, if only once, because I think after a year in which they owe a lot to the 2002-2004 Twins as mentors and guides as to how to craft a winning team, they're something special, and really are more a part of you than they are to any other fans outside of Chicago.
Pander
-The Late-Night-Rambling "Can't we all just get along" White Sox fan.
Pander -- Certainly correct about some things like, for example, being a good sport.
But -- The Twins defense was actually better than last year and was 4th best in the AL in converting balls put in play into outs. Yes, it seemed that at times bad plays were made, but the numbers just don't lie. The pitching staff, even with Mays struggling was at or near the top of the league all season. However, the offense was the worst in the league. Clubhouse problems? Winning cures everything. Losing exposes problems.
I, for one, hope the Chisox (or Cleveland) go all the way. I tip my cap to the White Sox for a fine season. May the Twins beat their brains in during the 2006 season.
Posted by: SBG at September 30, 2005 08:06 AM...wow...
Posted by: Jeb at September 30, 2005 08:22 AM#1. BatGirl, I wish to commend your fortitude. Everyone's spirits have been flagging as the season draws to a close and the Sucking Time shows no sign of dissapating, but you are still striving to bring some humor to the situation, no matter how much we all know it pains you. Thank you.
#2. Well done, White Sox. Now now...you can ask 'Sota Boy. I've turned into a rabid Twins fan in the past year. If I thought it would get them to .500, I myself would don the Leia costume for Lew. Yes, I would. We all have to make sacrifices... However. Clearly, it just wasn't our year. (That'll be next year.) And hey, who didn't enjoy watching the Red Sox have their moment in the sun last year? (Besides the Yankees; they don't count.) Let the Bitch Sox have their year. Then we can let Satan drag Mark whats-his-face down to the Underworld, and the AL Central will right itself once again.
#3. My theory on the near win of Cleveland is this: When the Bitch Sox were up 15 games, and still hot, and everyone said "My god. Who will catch them? It can't be done!" it was ok (well, somewhat ok) that the Twins were struggling. It "couldn't be done". It was not something that most people honestly expected them to do. Then, when the Sox began to slump, Cleveland started to catch up. Suddenly, it became possible. But the Twins still couldn't do it. Perhaps I am not the Bitch Sox hater that I should be, but I didn't want just ANYONE to catch them: I wanted the Twins to do it. And so, at the end, I would rather the Bitch Sox still advance. Essentially, it means that catching them still "couldn't be done," and that, while we are still disappointed with the Twins, we can accept that those blasted Chicagoans have done a good job this year, and will simply be too tired to carry on next year. Amen. Long live Torii Hunter!
-A humble newbie's 2 cents' worth.
Posted by: Georgia Girl at September 30, 2005 08:45 AMWatching the Twins get beaten by the Little Sisters of the Poor is better than not having any baseball, so I plan to watch them until the end. Tonight I'll be at the dome hoping for a brilliant performance by Liriano and eating my last ballpark pretzel for the season.
Posted by: Attyfan at September 30, 2005 09:32 AMNow, now.
There is no sniping at other posters on Batgirl. Period.
BG apologizes. I would have nipped this in the bud had I seen it earlier. Pander's never taunted us and has been nothing but classy these last two years. He deserves the same back.
To all the Sox fans who frequent this site, congratulations on a season well-played. You go out and represent in the postseason.
Now, let us talk about the game, volleyball, choir, or nads.
Posted by: Batgirl at September 30, 2005 09:56 AMBG - I commend your fortitude, and I feel your pain. After two full seasons of Sucking Time in Seattle, I'll still be there for these last three games cheering on my M's. I only wish I had your sense of humor about it all.
Here's to next year ....
Posted by: jenninseattle at September 30, 2005 10:38 AMYeah, that LNP got a Dinger for Dollars!!! Just wanna make sure that BG is keeping track of how much money I'm going to owe her at the end of the season... Luckily LNP hasn't sucked my pathetic wallet dry....
Posted by: kctwinkie at September 30, 2005 10:41 AMI don't have much money, but, BG...I could give $5 for Luis' home run *nods*
Posted by: Candace at September 30, 2005 11:33 AMDear Ms. Twinkie,
Yes, BG is keeping track. She'll present totals next week.
Sincerely,
BG
Perhaps the game totals would have been different if Travis "Batting Practice" Bowyer was pulled after, oh, say, the second homerun, or after he put two um, "men" on base after that, and then Mike Sweeney came up????? Sometimes, I swear, Gardy is such a sadist.
Posted by: Donnalove at September 30, 2005 02:00 PMPander,
While I do congratulate the Bitch Sox on their victory, and accept our inevitable defeat with grace, I must tell you...
I can only root for your Bitch Sox under one circumstance.
If they play the Yankees in the ALCS.
Before and after that, I just don't think I will be able to conjure up the love for them, or lend them my support.
But for you, because of your eloquent request...well, other than that GD word anyway ;-)...
For you I will make an effort to give them a chance to win me over, at least for the post season.
I'm not making any guarantees mind you, but I will do my best to keep an open mind.
It is only for Sox fans like you and my funny and friendly foe Shoeless Joe that I will consider it.
But let me qualify that...it's gonna take something pretty special to actually make me like the Bitch Sox.
If AJ decides to step on A-Rod's back as he rounds third base on his way home to score...that would probably do it.
Of course, I already like AJ anyway, but you get my point. ;-)
Regardless of what happens, I know you Sox fans will enjoy this time.
Have fun with it.
If you win it all Chicago will be one very joyful city...but also remember, this game can break your heart too.
Curse you Adam Kennedy!!! (No, I will NEVER forgive him. Ever...)
Best wishes to you and your fellow Sox fans who frequent this site.
We are all Batlings, regardless of which team we support. ;-)
bubblemint
Donnalove,
A sadist...yes, that's it.
I was shouting at my television when he decided to leave him in with Sweeney coming up to bat.
I started counting to ten, assuming it would take at least 10 seconds for Sweeney to hit a homerun. It only took 2 seconds. Just enough time for the wind-up and the pitch. 2 seconds.
Unbelievably,
bubblemint
Posted by: bubblemint at September 30, 2005 03:07 PMMy high-school volleyball team sucks too, I think we're 1-8 so far this year. I think we might be on the quest for .100
Posted by: Hannah (the second) at September 30, 2005 03:21 PMNo wonder you feel the way you do, BG, this season, well, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The best was seeing spectacular pitching where opponents in so many games could squeek out no more than a run or two. It was the best of times to see young Joe Mauer live up to extraordinarily high expectations - already a bona fide star and certain future all-star. On the other hand, the soul patrol never quite got it together this season, although at least Jones knocked in a run in every now and then. But the infield was maybe single A and made me wish nightly for the return of our adults at the corners, Dougie and Cory. While the season as a whole ended up being of the worst of times, we were so close in so many games that I can just hear BG cry, "Wait 'til next year!!"
Posted by: John R. Tunis at September 30, 2005 05:33 PMI'm won over to supporting the Central Division teams lucky enough to be going or maybe going to the play-offs. I do miss that extra zing in the Fall when the Twins are Central Division clinchers. But, yes, do savor it and I will try to be a little enthusiastic. Boston and New York can go down asap. Will you please beat the crap out of them??? I have no love for either (ok it was kinda neat when the Red Sox won after so many years of cursing, but it's now over). I still challenge the rich East coast owners to field a team without spending a gazillion dollars and scooping up the all-star players of other teams (I am just not a good capitalist).
HOnestly, I lean a little more the Cleveland way tho' during our series with them I cursed "the little weasle, Coco Crisp" often.
But really I would cheer most for our division.
go Central!
kal
Dear Bubblemint,
I, too, knew it could happen. If he could hit a HR off the object of our affections, well, he could hit one off a lesser man, for sure. And when it comes to Joe Nathan, all men are lesser! :^)
Donnalove
Posted by: Donnalove at September 30, 2005 08:41 PM