aw, Twins cuddling with TC Bears... how cute.

at least I only paid a dollar for that, um, "game" tonight.

.500 would be something, indeed. imagine if we had Kansas City's pitching instead of our own studly pitching staff... we'd have a worse record than the Royals currently possess.

MVP of this season? easy: the entire pitching staff. well, most of the pitching staff, anyway.

My mom is laughing her rear end off over your talent, BG.

It's quite sad that we are now at .500....but you're always here to make us feel somewhat better.

Thanks, BG.

Lew is so adorkable.

Batgirl,

The only thing that helps is knowing that after yet another really sucky game, I can come here and read your blog and find a little laugh before falling into a night of fitful sleep, my dreams certain to be fraught with visions of double plays and backwards K's.

Thank you,

bubblemint

Someone really ought to tell him.

Then again, now that they've made .500, maybe they can back to trying to win the game or just - gasp - score some runs?

Thanks for making me laugh again after a thoroughly depressing game, BG.

Here's a little scene I imagined:

Bradke looks at Little Baker, who is sitting and staring into his locker.

"What's wrong, kid?"

"Trucking Bassbowl! I play my heart out in the minors for a decent ERA, and a horrid record. I come up to the big leagues, and have a decent ERA, and a trucking horrible record. I went on strike tonight. It hasn't mattered that I'd only give up two runs, I still got a loss. If I'm going to lose, I might as well deserve it for once. Three earned runs over six innings is a quality start, and I've given that every start up until tonight, and look at my record! Mr. Bradke, it doesn't matter how we pitch, does it? What is a guy supposed to do?"

Bradke sat down, "Let me tell you something, kid. I'm known as the quiet, stoic one around here, but it wasn't always that way. I used to rant and rave to my locker after everyone left. You do get used to it. Remember the three great things about playing for Minnesota."

"Three? I only know two. And it hurts to read Batgirl after a loss, and JustBeth couldn't listen tonight."

"The third thing is fishing. Come to my place. We'll fish from the dock, and toss back some organic wine. Fishing is like baseball: you give it your best shot, but even then, there's no guaranteeing that you'll get anything for it. But at least fishing, no one worris how many fish get away."

"Wow. I need to buy a lake home in Minnesota!"

"One more thing."

"Yes, sir?"

"Build a soundproof room. It helps relieve stress."

At least I have this to laugh at...

*giggle* well put BG.

Excellent. I laughed out loud a few times.

The only good things about that game are: this recap and the fact that Bert circled my Mom and he and Dick named her their "fan of the game."

Thinking of the players cuddling their teddies warms my heart, lol.

That is SO cute, Laurel!

"Am I going to get eaten?" asked Little Nicky Punto.

"Probably," said Kent Hrbek. "But that doesn't matter."

Thats it. Hrbek is so on my list.

Hey!

I grew up in Bloomington!

LOL, what a great way to start a new day! Thanks Batgirl!

This line from the Trib today was quite frustrating: "The Twins fell back to .500 on Monday night for the first time since April 10, leaving manager Ron Gardenhire to openly wonder how much the players even cared."

This coming from the guy who put Mays out there for two key starts against Chicago. Not to mention how many wasted starts against Oakland.

This coming from the guy who randomly benches a player for a poor bunt, but leaves another guy out there the whole game after stupid baserunning mistakes (costing us at least two runs)

This coming from the guy that hasn't sacked Scotty Ulger yet.

This coming from the guy that'd rather have his starter get the W than his team.

...You get the idea. This year the media seems more anxiuos to blame the hitters than the guys in charge.

Batgirl,

Only you
can make me feel not so blue
with your jokes about Lew,
but do you think you have the flu?

Adieu!

In fairness to Gardy, Torhu, he also said, "Some of them do [care]. I pretty much know the ones that do. I pretty much know the ones that don't. But you can go ask them." Quite frankly, and I'm sad to say this, with results like we've been seeing lately, I'm wondering myself. I'm not drawing any conclusions, though, particularly because I'm not seeing many games at all these days.

BG, wonderful work, as always. Lew is so clueless sometimes. :)

Dear Mr. Hu,

BG is trying very, very hard to cheer people up in the face of all of this sucking. If you come and post something like this, it hurts that effort. Please remember that this is not a message board and we try to have fun here.

Sincerely,
Batgirl

BG, you do a fine job of cheering me up, anyhow, in the face of such ass-battiness. And I really appreciate it. It's a tough job! But anyone who can make me laugh after a 5-0 loss to the Royals is to be commended.

I'm going to get a line of Kent Hrbek action figures made up with different magic potatoes - that will come out of course after the LNP action figures =)

Thanks Batgirl - that was fabulous.

best line heard at the game last night -
"Hey we're the only four standing up and cheering" - said after the Angel Berroa homerun - hmm do you think it might be because you're the only four that are from KC in a puddle of Twins fans??

Much Love
Wonder Woman

All I can say is that, as much as I want to be cheered by your clever witticisms (as I usually am), I am downtrodden and surly after last evening's debacle. That was about as bad a performance by our boys as I've seen since the days of Rich Robertson - and to think I watched anxiously because I thought, "Surely our heroes will feast on the carcass that is the Royals! Surely they will end the season well, giving us all hope for the future!" Boy, was I ever wrong.

I blame myself. I hop on a bandwagon and the wheels have a way of falling off. Perhaps I could put The Jinx Of WC to good use and become a Yankees fan...

:(

BG, I was with you all the way, and then the ending was one of the beautiful-est, bittersweet-est, funniest things I've seen in a long while. Glad your spirits (of Hrbek, for instance) are still good.

I miss the calming voice of Torii Hunter. When he and Batgirl text message, I really feel like all might be better soon. Perhaps it is too late for even Torii and Batgirl to believe that this is so.

Kent Hrbek, though, is an inspired choice for inspiring leader. And the image of him riding in on a magic potato to lead the rag-tag band to glory allows me to believe that maybe this is a dream. Maybe this has been a dream for a long, long time, and sometime soon I'll wake up to a world in which retired first-basemen ride in pick-up trucks, not potatoes, and the Twins are fundamentally sound.

BG:

I shut off last nite's debacle--comforted by 3 thoughts--first Santana goes next; second Batgirl will surely cheer write a classic like she always does when the Twins are sucking badly; third maybe Gardy will remember that Luis Rivas has 10 career dingers against KC pitching and play him. Well you wrote a classic-maybe Santana can pitch one and Luis will hit a dinger or two.

I just like the idea that they all sleep at the stadium. Very funny.

Wish we had someone like you for the Mariners, would really have helped oh-these last 2 or so years.

Never the less, you cheer me up!

thank you.
mark

All I could think of last night was that I was watching a train wreck, but I couldn't look away (except between innings).

I just keep thinking of that Jets fan holding up the sign that said "Just End The Season" J-E-T-S get it? Anybody got one for the T-W-I-N-S season?

Here's to 2006.

BG-- funny as usual.

Just Beth,

Thanks for explaining what happened to Baker last night. Hopefully a day of fishing with B. Rad and a couple of runs will help him get another "W" in his next start.

B. Fly

BG, My salvation in the depths of despair. Wonderful recap to a not so wonderful game.

To Bfly how about Turn-in-wins-next-season

Mary

Mark said:

"I just like the idea that they all sleep at the stadium. Very funny."

It would be if they didn't do it during their ass-bats.

>:

Clueless Lew and BatGirl never fail to make me smile. Rock on, BG!

~CJF

Hey! Maybe Baker can go ice fishing with Kent Hrbek this winter to calm himself for next season?
I remember once spending a whole half hour watching Kent ice fish during a Saturday afternoon... outstanding!
My wife said that I constantly amaze her!

Is it time to start the "Things that make it all worthwhile" list yet?
If so, mine is - -
The mid-August 3-game sweep at US Cellular. I was there to see it and it was a thing of beauty.

Kent Hrbek lives across the street from me. Perhaps he'll wake me up one of these nights on his quest.

Sorry for the late apologies. It's just that it's hard to cheer up hearing that kind of news.

I'll try and watch and laugh at these last two series. Heck, if I can do it for the Vikings right ;)

""I'm going to get a line of Kent Hrbek action figures made up with different magic potatoes - that will come out of course after the LNP action figures =)"

What are you trying to do, WW? Take ALL my money from me?

I laughed so very, very hard at LNP's line that people had to emerge from their rooms to see what was wrong with me. Loverly. That, and the closing line. This is why we all love Lew so much. He really is adorkable...

don't burst lew's bubble!

Dearest Fred -

Well I figure if I can raise enough money on the sale of the action figures - we can get real DH - not that I don't love Matthew to death - but you know =)

Much Love
Wonder Woman

Ditto to Mark in Oly's comment. While I'm getting fonder of the Twins every time I visit this page, I wish someone was looking after the M's as well as you do for the Twins, BG.