Twins at Detroit. Tigers 4, Twins 2.

"In the room the women come and go
Talking of Francisco Liriano."
--The Love Song of J. Terence Mulholland

No, no, we are supposed to score the four runs. Silly. Also, we are supposed to hit the homers, not the opponents. Here we've got $97 per dinger pledged in Batgirl's exciting Dingers for Dollars hurricane fund drive, and we are totally one hundred percent dingerless. After the three dingers yesterday, BG must admit she's going through major withdrawal. And she's not the only one. At about three o'clock this afternoon, Batkitty #2 snuck outside, crawled up on top of the batroof and began to sing:

Where have all the dingers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the dingers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the dingers gone?
Twins have grounded out every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?

Batkitty #2 is a little melodramatic, you see, but we don't hold it against him, except when we have to call the firefighters to get him off the batroof. After the vagaries of this season, they're used to it; in fact on Sunday night after the Cleveland loss, they came over on their own. Which was awfully nice of them.

See, BK #2 was upset that the Twins had once again to make Sean Douglass look like someone who doesn't have –ass at the end of his name, but he has trouble focusing on the positive, which is:

DID YOU SEE LIRIANO?

Well, actually, the game wasn't televised here, so:

DID YOU HEAR LIRIANO?

Santana 2: Electric Boogaloo* struck out the side in the second inning, each one of them swinging. Whiff! Whiff! Whiff! went the Tigers, their pathetic attempts at contact causing the heavens to rend open and tears of laughter to pour down from the gods above.

Ha! Ha!

Oops.

The umps called a delay of game, and Boogaloo came back a little rusty, giving up a four pitch walk and his second dinger (though this one, unlike his first of the year, didn't actually take orbit, which was sort of nice).

No matter. (Well, it wouldn't have been if the Twins had followed BG's simple plan for victory.) The kid then regained his composure and pitched the minimum through the next two and a half innings and all-in-all made Batgirl rather tingly. (BG wasn't the only one. Li'l-Rod was apparently so dazzled that when he came up in the ninth with one on and the Twins down by two, he bunted. Ha! Ha! Oops!)

At the end of the day, Liriano ended up with two runs, and six strikeouts over five complete innings—and no run support. And after the game, the Twins starting pitchers came up to him in their full body casts and wheelchair and, sighing heavily, slapped him on the back and said, "Welcome to the Twins, kid."

Indeed.

*Thanks to Torhu for the nickname

Posted by Batgirl at September 14, 2005 08:16 PM