How could any gentleman worthy of the title turn down a date to the senior prom with batgirl? Perhaps it was better that he did say no. You were sooooo way out of his league Batgirl!

sadgoatboy

BG, That was wonderful! I am literally crying from laughing so hard!

I hope that prom-asking tale was fictitious, because if not... OUCH.

When TwinsfaninNC was just a young TwinsfaninPA, a bucket of scalding hot water tipped over and scored a direct hit on both the young man's feet. In the hospital ER the doctor removed my beloved Converse canvas Chucky T's with no problem and no fight out of me. When the same doctor tried to remove the socks from the same feet..........

Do I need to explain more?? I can only imagine that was more fun.

BG, I bet we had the exact same Garfield wastebasket. but I never hit my head on mine. and Tumbleweed and Batkitty #2 share the same bad habit... I've crawled into bed under the same circumstances, and I agree that it's more fun than this weekend's series.

other things for me that were more fun than this:

1. in October of 1994, shortly after my birthday, I pulled out of my driveway to go to class. stopped at the stop sign, and my windsheild promptly fogged up. "I can see well enough," I thought, as I slammed into the side of a car. the old man in the car was on his way to visit his sick old wife in the hospital. my car was totaled. that was more fun than this.

2. in 1995, I took a self defense class. one day in class when were doing stuff barefoot, I inadvertantly kicked another girl's heel and broke my toe. I nearly passed out for the pain. that was more fun than this.

3. in February, I played hockey with wildchild. I went to shoot the puck, but swiped myself off my feet instead and landed directly on my right shoulder, tearing my rotator cuff. it's still not healed, and if I'm not careful, it causes me excruciating pain. that's more fun than this.

In Ice's junior year of high school, he nearly ripped all the tendons connecting his ankle to shreds. That was more fun than this.

When Ice was a child (he forgets the year), he cut his finger to the bone with a rock. It still leaves a scar (and probably always will). That was more fun than this.

When Ice was in Middle school, he played two baseball games in 100+ degree 90ish% humidity. On the same day. At catcher.

That was more fun than this.

My junior year of college I was driving to work when a woman pulled out in front of me. She was trying to turn left and cross 3 lanes of traffic at the same time, except I was driving in the second lane that she was crossing. I t-boned her, totalling my car in the process. Trying to explain to her why the accident was not my fault as we waited for the cops to come was more fun than this weekend. Mourning the loss of my beloved first car was more fun than this weekend. Being without a car and mooching rides off of friends for a month was more fun than this weekend.

*I was playing tag with my friends on my 13th birthday. I forgot that we were currently adding onto the house, so there were nails and wood and all sorts of stuff like that around the house. Because I forgot this, I was running around outside without shoes on. My brother came chasing after me and I stepped on a nail...the nail went about halfway through my foot. That was more fun than this.

*I have kicked my knee cap out twice playing soccer and to this day, it still causes me immense amounts of pain when I bend it. That's more fun that this.

*I was playing around at the local library when I was ten. I was sitting on a not so stable desk, and kept moving back. Next thing I knew, the back of my head hit the corner of the metal file cabinet. That was more fun than this.

*I had some horrific prom experiences that involved double digit number of guys turning me down. That was more fun than this.

Falling from a 21 story building and getting your eyelid caught on a nail is more fun then this...

This one time, I started a adult men's softball team in a local league. Then, on the second play of the season, chasing a fly ball in right field, I landed on my left knee awkwardly and tore the MCL, ACL, and lateral meniscus. Then, while writhing on the ground in immense pain, I rememebered that my boss hadn't got my health insurance worked out yet.

And that was more fun....

When I was 5, a friend and I were picking lilacs for our moms by climbing onto a dumpster. My friend thought it would be funny to drop the lid right in front of me as I was getting ready to climb up. The end of my right pinky was turned into something resembling Batkitty #2's latest oeuvre.

That was more fun than this.

(And I will take the liberty of extending "this" to mean "watching the Twins' offense on almost any given day this season.")

Back in early 1987 talldrinkowater discovered that her lymph glands had swelled to the size of golf balls. Two rounds of antibiotics, and an exploratory surgery later, doctor told her she had Hodgkins Disease. After the diagnosis, she underwent more tests (one of which required needles between her toes and lying perfectly still and flat on her back for 5 hours), more surgery and 6 months of radition treatments every business day. And THAT was more fun than this. (Especially since the Twins won the WS that year!)

I thought of a few more:

I once read this book called Nightside City, which was truly horrible. seriously, it's terribly written with a stupid plot, which makes it excruciatingly painful to read. and I read it front to back. but that book was more fun than this.

two years ago, I sliced my arm open on some ductwork while at Menards (I work there on weekends). I spent five hours in the emergency room with body fat bulging out of the gash in my arm. that was more fun than this.

recently, I had to temporarily move some furniture around in my bedroom, so there is a table where it shouldn't be. last night, my bedroom window was rattling as a train passed, and as I got up to wedge something in the window, I smacked the back of my hand on the very pointy corner of the table. that was more fun than this.

Well, I've been on vacation and haven't seen the Twins play since, oh, Sept. 2nd. So I'm in no position to do much complaining. But one time when I was 15, I had surgery to trim back my gums, top and bottom, throughout my mouth. Halfway through the job on each side, the novocaine wore off, but I said nothing because the pretty assistant said I was so brave, I was 15, and I didn't want to look like a wuss. After about a week, while I still had stitches in my mouth, I had to start brushing again, and the pain of the bristles scouring my gums was so great it dropped me to the ground and I had to brush slowly and as softly as I could while laying on my side. That happened for a number of nights. Still, I imagine that might have been more fun than watching the Twins this weekend.

I've been turned down for dates, dumped by a woman I thought was The One, and had my share of unrequited crushes. Still, I gotta say: Hey, Jamon Heller--what the fuck?!

*winces* Poor Goober. Ew.

Every single morning, come hell or high water, at 6 AM, my cat climbs into bed and kneads the back of my head with his needlesharp claws. No matter how many times I toss him off the bed, he is undeterred from his mission to wake me up.

And that is more fun than this.

My first serious boyfriend once told me "It's just that, you and I, we have such completely different moral codes" with the clear implication that his moral code, being a Lutheran minister-in-training, was vastly superior to my own "Live and let live" code. He cheated on me the next week.

And that was more fun than this.

When I was in York one summer, I was distracted by all of the pretty windows of the shops, and walking at a high speed, I ran directly into a metal lightpole. It made a loud CLANG and knocked me on my back, completely senseless, in front of Jlubby, Jlubby's brother, Jlubby's mom (who thought I was kind of ditzy anyway), Jlubby's bell choir group, and numberous English folk. I was out of it and fuzzy for the rest of the day.

And yes, even that was more fun than this.

Yay, I have one.

2 years ago at work, I was putting supper in the oven. I was running a little late, so I thought I'd put the food in, then turn the heat on. As I was putting it in, I felt something super hot on my finger and realized the oven was already preheated to 350. Ouch, still have a scar.

That was more fun than this.

And to keep the work stories going...

This past July at work, I dropped a 40 pound crate full of milk on my pinky finger. The doctor said it was just a bruised bone, but over 2 months later, it's still curled up funny.

That's more fun than this.

I could list millions of things that were better than this (for example, the car accidents I've been in that have involved rolling a car and getting rear-ended (within one week of each other) and one that put me in the middle car of a pile-up).

When I tried to list things that were less fun than this, it was a bit harder.

But, hey, baseball this weekend was marginally better than no baseball at all, so I guess I'll take it. But those pitchers really worked hard to prove to the offense how much sucking, well, sucks. I'm so glad I missed the first two innings yesterday. So glad.

JustBeth got me thinking.
I, too, could list millions of things more fun than this last weekend, but hrm, less fun?

Being a Kansas City Royals fan, any day of the week. That would be less fun than this.

That's all I got.

I am horribly, endlessly, intensely afraid of spiders. In fact, I'm one of those people who, after seeing a spider crawling on an object, will then refuse to touch or use said object for at least a week, because what if spiders are possessive? How do I know that spider didn't just claim my duvet for Spain?

Anyway...

Once when I was about ten, I was in south Texas (where they grow spiders really big) and a wolf spider the size of my hand darted up my leg and proceeded to become lost and panicked inside my shorts.

And that was more fun than this.

When I was in my early 20s, I needed to have all my wisdom teeth removed. Since general anesthesia makes me ill, the dentist could only use novacain, which didn't "take" very well. After he started drilling and chipping and pulling, he learned that one was impacted, which required a LOT of drilling and chipping and pulling. Then, a week later, two of the four sockets went dry, which requires a piece of medicated gauze about three feet long to be literally stuffed into the socket. Every other day. For two weeks.

And that was better than this.

k-bro

A woman once asked me, "are you done yet?". Lets just say she wasn't talking about folding the laundry.

That was more fun than this.

About 10 years ago, when AJ Lecroy was Seargent AJ Lecroy, he was working alone on an electrical problem on an aircraft at a United States air force base. Due to the close confines of the area he was working, AJ removed his change, his wallet, and keys and put the items in his hat. He left the hat and the contents on the flight engineer's desk in the flight deck.

Upon finishing the job, which required climbing into the tail of the aircraft, he returned to find that someone had re-appropriated his change, his keys, the folding money from his wallet, and his two credit cards.

Surely this was more fun.

Prepping for a colonoscopy was more fun than this.

k-bro,

I think you and I had the same oral surgeon.

Thanks, BG, for giving us a much needed diversion. And thanks to all the contributors who added to your list. In the face of all this misery, it is good to pause and contemplate the other side - a perfect day. (Of course, the Twins woulod be off that day.) Try this:

The Perfect Day

You wake with
no aches
in the arms
of your beloved
to the smell of fresh coffee
you eat a giant breakfast
with no thought
of carbs
there is time to read
with a purring cat on your lap
later you walk by the ocean
with your dog
on this cut crystal day
your favorite music and the sun
fill the house
a short delicious nap
under a fleece throw
comes later
and the phone doesn't ring
at dusk you roast a chicken,
bake bread, make an exquisite
chocolate cake
for some friends
you've been missing
someone brings you an
unexpected present
and the wine is just right with the food
after a wonderful party
you sink into sleep
in a clean nightgown
in fresh sheets
your sweetheart doesn't snore
and in your dreams
an old piece of sadness
lifts away

Poem: "The Perfect Day" by Alice N. Persons from Never Say Never © Moon Pie Press.

BostonPhil -

Oh dear..............

RoyHobbs -

that was nice =)

much love
Wonder woman

My sophomore year of college, I met this really great guy. We became friends, and right before Christmas break, we talked about dating but decided it would be best if we waited until after Christmas. The first week back after Christmas break, there was a dance, and I went, fully expecting to see him there. He was there all right... With his new girlfriend whom he had met in class that morning.

That dance was just slightly more fun than this weekend.

I was five. It was an old discarded phillips screwdriver. I picked it up. I ran with it. Pointy side up. I fell. My Mom, too, answered the door to a bloody-faced child. The screwdriver still hanging out of my scalp.

Infinitely more fun.

I was in my final week of college -- with an impending student lecture that fell apart two days before I was supposed to all kinds of students and faculty. I also had four tests and three papers that I hadn't started plus four paintings to finish for a gallery exhibit opening that Wednesday. I ended up pulling three all-nighters and re-writing my 25 page lecture-paper the night before the talk.

That week, my left eye kept getting progressively redder. Then the iris started to blur a little and the pain started. It was like a migraine in my eye. I had to sheild that eye every time I went outdoors, because it was so light-sensitive. I was misdiagnosed for two weeks. The pain got bad enough at one point I was seeing spots in the other eye and briefly passing out now and again. Finally, I was told that I had iritis and risked blindness, glaucoma, etc. by not getting it treated right away. They gave me drops so that the eye was constantly dilated, so I looked like a freak show dropout. People had trouble talking to me, because I think I reminded them of Clockwork Orange posters.

Then, I was told the iritis was from a genetic disorder that would make my spine fuse together like bamboo in a few years if I didn't take $200/dose injections. Additionally, somebody in my immediate family -- probably my siblings too -- must have the same thing going on.

You know, that month was peachy compared to this.

When I was about 16 I got a large sliver of wood jammed about 3/4 of the way into my thumb nail.

The urgent care doctor injected me with novocaine, and then promptly started jabbing under my nail with a needle-nosed pliers. Before the novocaine took effect.

... and that was more fun than this

And Jeb, I nearly passed out from the pain of reading about your torture.

When I was young our backyard was "the" place for sports activities in our neighborhood. Back in the day it seemed as big as a football field, went back to see it a few years ago and it had shrunk to a much smaller size... not sure what happened there...anyhoo we were playing baseball actully some of the bigger kids were playing baseball and I was watching... from behind home plate.... kinda close to the batter... who swung kinda wildly...

Picture the blood flowing freely from my crushed lips... picture sreaming child running for mom... picture the batter, Joey King, running away from home for the afternoon to another neighbor's house because he was sure he had committed murder...

That was more fun than this.

The night before I was to be best man in my brothers wedding, i was horsing around in the pool with my cousin. He dunked me under and it caused some problem in my ear. I couldnt hear very well and there was a strong, dull pain in my ear. I talked to a pharmasist friend of mine, and he figured it was an inner ear infection and that by adding vinegar to it might help. Well, it wasn't an inner ear infection, it was a popped ear drum. The vinegar on top of that created the single worst pain ever. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling, while my brother was trying to sleep the night before his big day.

oh yes... that was more fun than this

Once I hitchhiked to St. Cloud State with a friend who I fancied. We met up with a "friend" of hers. I ended up on the floor in the living room and she ended up in (what turned out to be) a very noisy bedroom. That was more fun than watching Joe Mays pitch.

Once when I was four my sister and brother lied to me and said that once the burner on the stove turned black it wasn't hot any longer. "Go ahead" they said and in seconds my palm resembled a perfectly seared ahi steak. That was less painful than watching the triple A Twins try to bat against major league pitching.

I wasted several hours of nice weather yesterday watching the hapless Vikings, and at least Darren Sharper was fun to watch.

Watching from the front row of Ameriquest field in Arlington as they lost to the Rangers 2-1 on a bogus catcher's interference call - that was much more fun than this.

The summer before 7th grade, weeks before starting at a new school I was stuck playing outfield in a pick up game of baseball. I never play outfield and so didn't think any about the fact that the field slopped down hill the further away you got from home. Just my luck, "it's a high drive to deep left field. It's going, going..." and somehow I'm under the ball, all I have to do is jump, which I did. Jumping off wet grass, that slopes downward helped my feet go out from under me and when I tried to break my fall I snapped both bones in my left wrist. By the way I'm left handed so it really sucked.

After the break, I had to walk about a half mile to get home with my brother holding his glove under my wrist for support. I had to get in a car and get driven to the hospital. I had lose that support as they took x-rays in every angle and then I had to have my wrist stretched to they could set the bones and so I didn't have to have surgery. But afterwards I got to have pain medicine.

Sunday nights game...almost as much fun.

I know you guys are out of the playoff race and all, but couldn't you have won atleast one game ?

Who would you rather see in the playoffs, Captian Cheeseburger or Captian Jeter ?

When I was about seven or eight, I was running around my house like a retard before a birthday party. I turned a corner and slammed my head on a door frame, which resulted in the biggest goose egg ever.

That was more fun.

My sophomore year of high school, I had pneumonia for two freaking months.

That was more fun.

Mike,

Captain Cheeseburger. Absolutely and without question.

Mike-
Bobby Kielty.

Well, losing to Cleveland like this was more fun than watching the Yankees in the playoffs would be.

When Demigoddess the Elder was a little tot, she used to get strep throat all the time. I, personally, had contracted strep throat many times, but I did not know until then that one symptom that children often have with strep throat, in addition to a high fever and an inability to swallow without pain, is lots and LOTS of vomiting.

Back then, we lived in an apartment building that had one coin-operated washer and dryer for the whole building. It cost a dollar to wash a load and another dollar to dry.

That was more fun than this.

Despite Captain Cheeseburger and Aaron Boone - I would much rather see Cleveland then NYY - come on - Cleveland has Shrek(Travis Hafner) on their team -how can you not root for that lovable ogre =)

The insane Indian fan I sat in front of a couple of weeks ago - was just a wee bit better then this weekend.

Much Love
Wonder Woman
I think the white flag was hoisted when Gardy decided to bring in Bowyer with the bases loaded on no outs on Saturday. What the heck was that all about???

OT but I got mt shirt today BG, thanks again. Do you have an update on the total so far ?

Earlier this year, SMZ was standing at the piano, when he bent over ever so slightly to touch the keys. Suddenly, a blinding stabbing pain hit him in the base of his spine, and he sloooowly crumpled to the floor where he lay in pain for 45 minutes before he was able to be moved to the car and driven to the clinic.

And that was more fun than this:

When SMZ was in middle school, his allergy doctor recommended that he undergo surgery to correct his deviated septum. The septoplasty constisted of shaving off cartilage from the septum (the strut of cartilage separating the interior of the nostrils) in order to clear the airways. After the surgery, large plastic splints were inserted into his nostrils to keep everything in position while his nose healed. Removal of the splints was achieved by saying "This might hurt just a little," grabbing the strings hanging out of SMZ's nose, and yanking the enormous plastic splints out through the nostrils.

And that was more fun than this:

About a year and a half ago, SMZ's wife had given birth to their first child only hours before. Later that day, however, his wife began bleeding profusely and it wouldn't stop. SMZ's family was still out in CA, his wife's family had recently headed home for the night, his newborn daughter had been handed over to the nurses for a while, and his wife was wheeled away into surgery, while an emotionally-unstable SMZ was left in the hospital room. Fortunately, his brother had just arrived for a visit, but still...

That was more fun than this.

>I think the white flag was hoisted when Gardy
>decided to bring in Bowyer with the bases loaded
>on no outs on Saturday. What the heck was that
>all about???

I assumed that the moment of surrender was signaled Saturday when Gardy took Baker out with the bases loaded and 1 out, and brought JC ROMERO in.

To tell the truth, I had fun watching last night's game. The ineptitude of it all was just hilarious. I thought maybe if we let every player on the Indians team get 7, maybe 8 at-bats, we'd wear them out enough to stage a comeback. Plus, giving their starting pitcher 45 minutes or so between trips to the mound would surely freeze his arm up, right? Right?

Watching the Vikings

Dear Mr. Mike,

BG will post something tomorrow or Wed, but shhe believes it's about $85! Thanks so mcuh to everyone who has purchased something.

Love,
BG

When I was 6 or 7, me and the neighbor kid wanted to play a game of 1 on 1 t-ball (we had rules and everything, I always lost), but had no balls or bats, so we used a croquet mallet for bats and the croquet balls as baseballs. I took a liner to the mouth. Bloody lips, chipped tooth, ran home 2 blocks to mommy.

However, a weekend of baseball games, no matter how lopsided, were not better than that.

Now that we play them no more this season, I am officialy cheering for the Cleveland Hafners to win the World Series.

SMZ, thank you ever so much for reminding me of my own septoplasty experience. yes, that was more fun than this weekend.

and that reminds me of the two times that I, like our fair Doctor, had pleurisy, which sucks to high heaven. simple breathing causes pain. but pleurisy is more fun than this.

-- and the decision to bring in Bowyer with the bases loaded was unintentional. Gardy said that when he had Bowyer start warming up, he hadn't expected JFC Romero to walk a guy, give up a single, and then hit a guy. but Bowyer was warmed up, so there ya go. personally, I found the whole thing rather amusing, with all of JFC's runs scoring as inherited runners. serves him right. that inning, combined with Liriano striking out the side later, was the bright spot of the weekend for me.

As a promising HS athlete, I was nearing the end of the basketball season my Senior year when I stood in the street waving down the oncoming Torino of a friend. I was sure he would stop. He was sure I would get out of the way. We were both wrong. Resulting knee damage and concussion ended what would certainly have been a promising hoops career. That was more fun than this.

Two years later, on the comeback trail as a reserve on a JuCo basketball team, I was stricken with severe strep throat and hospitalized to be filled with penicillin. Turns out I'm allergic to penicillin. While hospitalized, I miss a date with my girlfriend to see "Jaws" at the local theatre. She goes anyway. With my best friend. Who she marries 2 years later. That was better than this.

Finally, approaching the age of 40 (several years ago), I was pitching in an amateur baseball league, certain a Twins scout would be hearing of my unhittable knuckleball and showing up with contract in hand, I was hit in the thigh by a line drive up the middle. Very, very, very high up the thigh. That was better than this (tho I gotta say, not by much).

Regards, the now permanently on IR, JimCrikket

Spending 24 hours in Kansai Int'l airport waiting out a typhoon, then having to spend the next night sleeping in the airport in Toronto, and then getting back to work to find out they're going to charge you an extra day of vacation because of your airport adventure is more fun than this.

When I was 16, driving like a typical 16-year-old in her first car, around a steep, icy corner in the dead of a North Dakota winter, I rolled my car. Having to call my parents and tell them what happened -- that was more fun than this. Had it not been for the seven feet of snow in the ditch, however, it might have been less fun.

>>A woman once asked me, "are you done yet?". Lets just say she wasn't talking about folding the laundry.

>>That was more fun than this.

Dear BostonPhil---

Being that woman, having to ask that question, is also more fun than this series.

I dunno, wildchild, I think some women DO say things like that to us poor guys just because it IS fun to crush our fragile egos.

JC

April '02 I was sitting at a stoplight in my '94 Metro when I got rear-ended by a guy going 40-50 MPH in a Ford Ranger. My glasses wound up hanging from my rear bumper and I got to ride in an ambulance. I wasn't injured badly, thankfully, just a scraped noggin from the roof and a severely sore back.

That was more fun than this.

A couple weeks after the accident I figured I was ready to wrestle again so I went to the gym for a workout where I got caught in a spine-crank submission, basically I was face-down with somebody trying to bend my back in a direction it wasn't designed to. I tapped out quickly, was released, and my face and upper body slapped into the mats full-speed like a ruler being bent back and released.

Again, more fun.

When I was in 1st grade I had one of those pencil's with an eraser that you added to the top when the normal one wears out. Well... I started playing with it and it found it's way to my nose. When I pulled the pencil out the eraser wasn't on it anymore. So I took the pencil and tried to get it back on it only to make it get further lodged into my nostril. All I could smell was that lovely eraser smell and went down to the nurses office. She couldn't get it out and they called my mom who brought me to the ER. They eventually got a large pair of tweezers and several tries later eventually got it out. He asked if I wanted it back... I didn't.

16 years later my family still makes fun of me for it. My wife think that one nostril is slightly larger then the other also...

That was a lot more fun then this weekend.

In elementary school, Saajak was playing on one of those stupid metal things on springs that rock back and forth. She was sitting on the frog rocking slowly back and forth when the frog suddenly bucked wildly and threw Saajak over the top. Everything seemed fine until the teacher's aide saw her and screamed bloody murder. Saajak had a rather large goose egg in the middle of her forehead. That was more fun that this.

Senior year in college Saajak lived one floor below the women's bathroom. One night she woke up to a severe charlie horse in her leg. Unfortunately she also REALLY needed to use the ladies room. In a sleepy haze she managed to crawl down the hall and up the stairs to the bathroom. The next morning she realized that at that time of night she could have used the men's bathroom just two doors down. That was more fun that this.

March 1998, wrenching in pain, I decided to go in AGAIN to the clinic for a second opinion on why my lower abdomen was filled with pain.

Hours later, I wake up from my anasthesia nap, with the doctor hovering over me with a nervous grin citing, "We think we got all the pieces of what was left of your appendix. You'll be in here for a while. And oh yeah, you have strep throat and bronchitis too.".

That was boat loads more fun, at least I got to be loaded on pain killers.

Three months ago, I spent 26 hours attempting to give birth to my first-born child. I requested pain medication, only to have my midwife cruelly turn it off and then make me push for 5 hours. When the baby wouldn't come out, they tried to vacuum him out. That didn't work either. Then they ordered major surgery to extract my lovely child from my body. But the doctor decided to go home instead of perform the surgery, and left me to wait 2 hours for his colleague to show up. He also forgot to authorize more pain medication to help me through that wait. My son was finally born after more than a full day of the most excrutiating pain I've ever experienced, and no sleep or food that whole time.

At least the Twins beat the Yankees that night.

On a flight to Hawaii, the in-flight movie was "The Man from Snowy River."

oh, and BG, at least you ASKED Jamon (who today, I'm sure is kicking himself for the missed opportunity).

I started dating in 9th grade. Dated the same girl for over a year. Midway through 10th grade, the HS has a Sadie Hawkins dance, where the girls are supposed to ask the guys. I hear nothing. nada. Until the night before the dance, when a different girl calls and asks me. I accepted and never dated the first girl again. When I finally got around to asking her why she didn't want to go with me, she said "I don't ask boys for dates!"

It was a SADIE HAWKINS dance!!! argh... women!

Soon thereafter, I discovered drugs and alcohol were safer than girls, as vices go. (See if I'd known someone like BG back then, my life would have turned out so much differently).

Anyway... yes, that was more fun than this weekend.

My parents got divorced when I was 13, and part of that process was being thrown into a group therapy session, and that was.. well, actually that was a lot like this.

At least we now know that we're going to need not-quite-so-small ball next year..

Nailing your wiener to a burning building. Much more fun than this.

Five letters......

OBGYN. Much more fun!

Falling off of the couch and hitting your head on the corner of a fireplace. Then having to get four or five stitches behind your ear...

And you're like 6.

Or,

Not paying attention while walking through the parking lot and slicing open your leg on the corner of a rusty license plate, and you realize that not only can you bleed, but also can leak some kind of yellow substance.

...Definately more fun than this.

I see an odd trend here - lots of batlings have been 'impaled' but various objects - to that I can only say OUCH!

and on that note - when I was a wee one and we moved into a new developement - there was a house next to ours that was being built- lots of debris around - anyway my sis and I had made befriended the only other house on the block with kids - one day I'm playing with the little girl -and she picks up a brick with a nail stuck to it - and hurls it right at me - yup it hurt -
when her dad brought her back over to apologize he asked why she did it -she said I don't know I just did - well needless to say I didn't see her outside for a long time -

And yup that was more fun than this

Much love
Wonder Woman

Three summers ago Annun went to the beach with her youthgroup. One day she forgot to put sunscreen on her lower back and built a sandcastle for 6 hours in the sunshine. The following week (in which her back was blistered and peeling and it hurt to stand straight or to bend over too far) was far more fun than this.

When my sister was 4 or 5 she jumped off a small retaining wall and bit her tongue as she landed. I carried her home upside down, trailing blood. She had to have stiches in her tongue WITHOUT novocaine, but the doctor sprung for ice cream after.

Yep, more fun than this. . . but only because it was my sister, and not me.

Is Minnesota's Hottest Chick more fun than this??

Wonder Woman

3 years ago Mic got a sinus infection. The doctor decided to give her Leviquin, a "new" medicine. Needless to say her body did not like it very much and she had an anyaphalatic (sp?) and almost died and looked like a Sumo Wrestler for a week.

THAT was more fun than this.

Let me get it out of the way ... I am an Indians fan. Please don't throw anything. I am not here to troll for a fight. I'm a fan. I've been jealous for a long time that the Twins get to have Bat-Girl and we don't have anyone half as cool.

I would like to think that we can be friends in addition to hated enemies. I certainly rooted for the Twins once we were out of it (that would be all of the past three seasons). Even though I hated them.

I am proud to see the Indians pick up the Twins mantle of big-market dragonslayer. When it comes to despising the Yankees, obviously we're all in this together. Somebody needs to send the D-Rays a big cake. But the Red Sox and Angels aren't much better.

I remember back in 2000, when we were dueling the A's for the Wild Card (we lost), thinking, this is no fun. We're Goliath and they're David. Even if we beat them, with our bloated payroll and aging stars, can we really beat our chests about it?

You may not realize, the Cleveland economy has more or less collapsed since those days -- yes even more than everybody else's -- so the Indians are now on a more equal footing with the Twins and A's. And there's something, I don't know, more clean about that. If we can win anything this year, there's a lot more to be proud of. And no Albert Belles or Jose Mesas to dilute the joy of rooting.

Anyway, I am heartened to see that several folks here on this forum have already declared their secondary rooting interest in the Indians. I think it's a sign of good character and true baseball fandom and, of course, equal contempt and greater disrespect for the White Sox -- the only team I've ever seen that can dominate a league while looking hapless at the same time.

For what it's worth, we Indians fans respect what the Twins have done, and obviously the Shapiro regime has stolen from the Twins philosophies, attempting to build sort of a Twins-Athletics hybrid. I know the Twins will be back next year, and even moreso in 2007, and if it's any consolation, Morneau and Mauer and Liriano and that other guy scare the hell out of me. (I hope you guys aren't souring on Morneau, because he's still going to be a monster.)

How can we sustain a contender if you guys churn out three blue-chippers every year? All we have to pin our hopes on is your statistically inept front-office, but that only goes so far. Hell, look at the White Sox. Total morons. Still trying to trade for Robbie Alomar, can't figure out what team he's on.

Anyway, I find it's no fun viewing in your misery, you folks are just a little too nice. See you next year, daggers out.

One day in college, Christian was attending a rehearsal of the play 'Talk Radio,' which he was directing. It was about three days before opening and, of course, the actors were ass. As the actors went through their lines and Christian silently fumed, some of the stage crew went to work dismantling part of the stage.

As the rehearsal went on, and Christian got madder, he began to pace. As he was pacing, he suddenly felt a tremendous shooting pain in his right foot and saw a blinding flash of light. He looked down, and moved his foot out of the way to see what he had stepped on, but didn't see anything.

When he put his foot down, he saw why -- the stage crew had left a 2x4 laying on the ground with an eight-penny nail sticking up out of it, and Christian had stepped on it, and it went through the thin rubber sole of his Chuck Taylors and was stuck in the bottom of his foot.

After he pulled the nail out (resulting in another blinding flash of light), he realized that, since this was a final tech rehearsal, he couldn't leave to go to the hospital right then. So, he suffered through another two hours of the ass rehearsal before he went back to his dorm room and asked his girlfriend to drive him to the clinic.

For some reason (lost in the mists of time), she was unable or unwilling to do so. So, he hobbled over to another dorm and asked his friend Liesl to drive him. She did, and after an hour of sitting waiting at the clinic, he went home with a nice, big tetanus shot in his arm, a throbbing foot, and anger at both his girlfriend and his actors.

More fun than this.

When I was 3, I was riding on my grandpa's tractor with my dad, but I really wanted to play in the swing. So I jumped off, fell under the backwheel, giving my dad just enough time to stop before crushing me. All I remember is seeing blood and light in an ambulance, and waking up in the hospital a day or two later.

little memory, so more fun for me, less fun for my dad.

When I was 10, I woke up in the nurses office in school with splitting head pain and nausea, wondering how I got there, and why I couldn't feel the left side of my body or talk. No one has ever told me, though rumors involve getting tackled on cement by someone much bigger than I. Been getting migraines ever since, often with similar symptoms.

Probably less fun than this, but I can't know for sure.

I missed two days of college with a constant migraine during which I was unable to go to the bathroom by myself. The next three days I had migraines on and off, and I managed to lose 5 pounds, which is bad when you are tall and skinny.

vivid memories. A lot less fun than this.

Then yesterday, I got to watch my first twin's game since moving out of state. (Thank goodness JJ hit a homerun.) This morning I walked 15 minutes to class, got a migraine, and walked fifteen minutes back during which I was unable to see peripherally or feel the left side of my body.

I'm finally out of bed. About as fun as this...

well, once at a twins game, joe was playing and i went by where he was playing and i yelled out joe and then he looked up and waved at me...and that was the first time i've ever seen him in person and i started to cry...which he saw me do...

I read every word in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

That one hurt, but it was more fun than this.

Never understood a woman's "Are you done yet?" query. If she's done but he is not, what is her problem cuz what guy cannot finish? Or is it that she is bored?

- 40YOBAV

I once spilled muriatic acid aaaaaaalll over myself. Much more fun than this

Well, Batgirl can always console herself by laughing at Jamon, knowing that his name means Ham in Spanish. Who wants their name to be a chunk of meat? Um, ew.

Although now that I think of it.... Being named after a chunk of meat = more fun than this.

Dear Jay,

I am willing to forgive the indians for this weekend. Partially because Johan and Carlos were both battling more than your hitters, partially because we simply can't beat baseball teams that score right now. However, please remember: the hottest team always wins the wild card (or the division, at this rate). I can respect the indians right now, which is more than I can say for some other teams.

By the way, I never thought being .500 would sting this much. Speaking of which, we need to start winning again. My general theory of 'well, I'm sure Johan will fix everything' seems to have chipped a nail. I just want to have some fun again. I imagine the guys are thinking the same thing right about now.

On the flip side, while we all obviously consider our worst accidents and heartbreaks more fun than this weekend, does anyone doubt that Chris Heitz (if I got that name right) had MORE fun catching a disastrous first inning Sunday night than anyone in the history of the game?

It seemed like the score was about 4-zip before a pitched ever reached his mit, but for a guy spending a zillion years in the minors to finally get a start in the 'show', it's hard not to feel good for him.

Dear Batgirl

If Jamon was in a high school production of Fiddler, and said that the prom should be about romance, I have a feeling that Jamon probably plays for the team, if you now what I'm saying. Not that there is anything wrong with that of course.

mike

I once paid $8 just to see the band 3 Minute Hero (a ska band) opening for Molly Hatchet (a southern-rock band) at Kirbys-The Corner That Rocks! in Moorhead, and then walked across the street to Ralphs and saw them play another set. No question, that was a great time, and infinitely more fun than this.

Also, helping their former manager move this past weekend was a barrel of monkeys in comparison as well.

In 2002, I was in right field in Anaheim for Game 5 of the ALDS. Yes, that one. The elimination one. 13-5 Angels. In the seventh inning, the Angels scored 10 runs as sweaty, hollering drunkards literally beat us over the heads with their vile Thunder Sticks and explicitly described to us the many ways in which they felt the Twins could sexually please their Rally Monkey. Let's recap the Twins' pitchers' stats from that evening:
Mays: 5 1/3 IP, 3ER on 3 homers
Santana: 2/3 IP, 3ER
Hawkins: Did not record an out. 3ER. ERA infinity.
Romero: 1/3 IP, 3ER.
Wells: 2/3 IP, 1ER.

And THAT was more fun than this. Because we were in the ALDS, dammit.

beckasani was playing 3rd base during a quite big game with a crowd full of people in high school. Our strong armed catcher forgets the number of outs and after he catches the called third strike of the third out of the inning, he FIRES the ball to third to throw the ball around...to my "lower midsection"...while beckasani was running in to bat...and beckasani never wears a cup.

Having the wind knocked out of you, lying on the field, with an incredible numbness in a high-concentration-of-blood-area was way more fun than this.

When beckasani was 6 he enjoyed boogers. beckasani enjoyed picking them and especially eating them. Until one day at the car dealership, momma and papa wanted to trade in their 1990 Honda Civic for a nicer model. The trade-in value was pretty high until beckasani decided to booger-BatKitty-#2-barf all over the back seat. beckasani's parents had waaaay much more fun than this.

and finally

beckasani asked a girl out at college his junior year. she responded "no, I'm not looking to date anyone at this time". beckasani had much respect for her until she showed up at a gathering with her new boyfriend obtained that day...the BACKUP quarterback on the football team. But that was much better than this.

After this weekend, all I can say is, "How about them Gophers?"

I'm sure most of you have seen that clip of Willis Mcgahee getting hit in the knee and his knee bent the wrong way. Well at least he had the greatest doctors in the world to put his knee back together and he is now a great running back anyway. Well the same injury happened to me, when you look at the film my injury looks almost identical to his. The only difference was that I was in 9 grade on the JV team and I never played football again.

More fun than this.

* I lived in Bismarck, ND for three years. That was more fun than this.

* As my marriage was in the final days of a three-year death spiral and I was recovering from the second layoff in two years, my 30th birthday was approaching...so there was much soul-searching and reflecting on the lack of substance and accomplishment in my life. Then the Sept 11 attacks happened the day before the big 30. Then I lost another job a couple months later, and I learned that my ex had been cheating on me. That six month period was more fun than this.

* I have to imagine that getting a paper-cut on the eye-ball while working in a salt mine is more fun than this.

* And finally, my funeral for my best-friend's dad was on my 14th birthday. That might be a push. (we all still miss you, Pat)

I live in Bismarck right now, double-a. It's a close call, but yeah, I think it's more fun than the Twins series against Cleveland.

Last year for Labor Day weekend, my dad decided that we should go to a Twins game. My parents, sister and I pile in the Chevy Malibu and drive that lovely 8 hour drive down I-94. A Chevy Malibu is a fine car, but it was not made for 4 adults on a 500-mile trip. We went to the game. Lyle Kohse was pitching against the Kansas City Royals. The Twins played much like they did this past weekend. We drove home again. I get home to find out that my friend's dad died in a car accident over the weekend. The funeral was in NW ND the next day. I went to the funeral, gave my friend a hug, and came home. Did I mention that I had a very painful cyst on my tailbone through this whole time? By the time I got home from the funeral, I couldn't sit anymore. The cyst ruptured the next morning and I found myself in the emergency room.

At least there were painkillers. The painkillers made that experience more fun than this past weekend.

Erikab-

You have AS too? I feel your pain, yo. I, at least, I do not have to take injections (yet)...

Back in July, I got a call on the one-year anniversary of my father's death telling me that my great-grandma had just gone into a coma, one that she never woke up from.

That was more fun than this.

(Okay, well, maybe not, but I lead a pretty lucky life.)

(Meaning that it's hard to come up with 'more fun' stories.)

In the state semifinals for my high school baseball team for which I played third base--well, have you seen the clip of Beltran and Cameron diving and colliding heads? It was like that. Except I collided with the catcher trying to catch a foul bunt down the third base line. With his mask on. And the little metal tab on the face bar going into my right eyelid.

After the painkilling shot in the eye and the closing up of the half inch gap that had opened, I found out we'd lost in the last inning when my replacement let a ground ball go riiiight through his legs. And I had two months of blindness in that eye to comfort me.

Yeah, more fun than this.

beckasani: playing third base without a cup? More fun than this, sure, but c'mon...

A great many years ago (before I expatriated) a fairly freakish bike accident sent me over my handlebars facefirst into the rear end of a truck. Ten stitches in my forehead, coupled with about a month in a neck brace. Joyous.

Somewhat more recently, college marching band rehearsal. In Houston. The one in Texas. 109 degrees on the field. Heat exhaustion is NOT good for you. But more fun than some things I could mention.

-ex

Happy 34th, AA.

I'll channel how the Mets' assery of late has made me feel and I'll empathize with you folks...

When I was an unmarried male under 25 years of age (highest insurance premiums, due to being a "high risk"), I was on my way to work and stopped at a red traffic light like a good boy when I get plowed from behind by a married female over 25 (much lower premiums for being "low risk"). Two weeks later, the soft collar finally came off and wouldn't ya know it, I'm in the rental car I'd been given while mine was being fixed, I'm on the way home from work, I stopped at a red light like a good boy and get plowed from behind by a married female over 25.

MFTT.

When I was 11, I experienced a sudden phenomenon known as "why can't I breathe?" and long story short, woke up in the PICU with a machine breathing for me and tubes coming out of nearly every orifice. One by one, they came out and sure, the foley removal was strange and unpleasant but nothing compared to the next few days, during which I swore the fires of hell were issuing forth from my bladder and scorching my urethra from the inside. I'd go through that again to ensure my team's WS victory.

When I was 15, I had heart surgery (the condition I had was called Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, it's congenital and it was unrelated to the respiratory incident four years prior) and had an even less pleasant foley removal, however not the accompanying UTI, much to my relief. Once again, I woke up to tubes emanating from nearly every orifice as well as several coming from orifices I did not have prior to being anesthetized. Two of these were incision drains at the inferior part of the incision, probably about 5 inches north of my navel. Those hurt like a mother when they came out on what was probably the morning after I had the operation. However, there were some subcutaneous electrical leads left in... imagine a few wires poking out of your belly... then imagine your body healing around them for almost two weeks... the day they came out, I was totally unprepared when the doc said "ok, take a deep breath", pushes down on my abdomen with one hand and yanks the wires out with the other... if you've ever had the wind knocked out of you, imagine that accompanied by the closest thing I've ever felt to 10/10 pain. I was unable to speak to humans for several minutes, just capable of producing sounds heard by only bats and dolphins. I'd suffer that again if it meant complete postseason triumph.

But not if it meant going through the surgery again... another season, sure... but I have too much going on right now to give all that up for one title.

I'm currently quitting smoking and it's definitely no fun... but at least it's more fun than watching the late-season all the collapsing going on.

Freshman year in college Saajak was canoeing in N WI in mid-October. It was raining. Since it wasn't very warm no-one was in a very good mood. Suddenly the canoe carrying Saajak and another hapless paddler flipped over. Now thoroughly soaked, cold, and miserable the group had to paddle all the way across the lake to reach their vehicles. That was more fun than this.

let's go mets,
you have some wicked skills of deduction and reasoning there. thanks. and thanks to the Twins for winning one while I was at home toiling over a website update.

ex- surprisingly, through my 8 years of playing baseball and 6 years of playing slo-pitch softball infield at short and 3rd without ever once wearing a cup, I never got hit "way down there". I tried to wear one for football, but it didn't feel right, so I just didn't. Call me fortunate, I guess.

The only time I did get hit "way down there" was aforementioned.

RE: Skorch's comments--

A moment of silence, if we may, for Kirby's and Ralphs.

*sigh*

'I should like to know which is worse, to be raped a hundred times by pirates, to have a buttock cut off, to run the gauntlet among the Bulgarians, to be whipped and flogged in an auto-da-fé, to be dissected, to row in a galley, in short, to endure all the miseries through which we have passed, or to remain here watching the Twins do nothing?'

naw, all that stuff was more fun than this.