Twins at Kansas City. Twins 7, Royals 4.
At game time, Batgirl called Team Batgirl and the BatKitties together for a very special announcement. "Things have been a bit rough around here," she said, "what with the Twins' offensive problems, the BatKitty blackheads, and Batkitty #1's steroid violation, and I just wanted to say it's okay now. I'm going to carry Team Batgirl on my back. It's Batgirl Time!"
Jeb, Goober, Sooz, and the Batkitties exchanged glances, then Jeb said, "Huh?"
"It's Batgirl time!" Batgirl insisted. "You know how Jose Lima always says it's Lima Time? And you know how that inspires the Royals really to be the best they can be?"
"Um…" said Jeb. "No, not really."
"Well, okay," Batgirl said, scowling. "If you're going to be that way. Sure, the Royals have had it a little rough. Sure, they wear sleeveless pixie shirts. But I think Jose Lima has been a real comfort to them. That's part of what it means to have Lima Time, you know. It's not all about pitching well or getting batters out or having your natural hair color. Lima Time is about coming together as a team despite adversity, it's about growing as people when times are tough, it's about giving your teammates a shoulder to cry on when they lose 17 games in a row, it's about helping them look themselves in the mirror and say, 'Just because I play for one of the worst baseball teams since the invention of BakBall and we are the laughing stocks of the American League doesn't mean I'm going to be down about it! I'm going to go to the park and try my best and no matter what happens I'm going to hold my head high, for I have Jose Lima on my team, and after the game we will all hold hands and together we will chant at the top of our lungs, THANK YOU LIMA TIME!"
"I'm pretty sure that's not how it works," Sooz said mildly.
"Yes, it is! Lima Time is about the smile of a child, the smell of a newborn baby, the neon in young lovers' eyes. Lima Time is about rainbows and daffodils and fairies. Lima Time is about the indomitable human spirit, about joy and laughter, Lima Time is inside all of us, if we only look carefully enough."
"Um, Batgirl?" said Goober, coughing slightly.
"What?"
"That's not what Lima Time is about, Batgirl. Lima Time is about slowly losing your composure. Lima Time is about hurling the ball at Lew Ford after he attempts a bunt. Lima Time is about ERAs over six, nineteen game losing streaks, about putting a bunch of runners on base then sitting in the dugout and watching Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble serve up a gopher ball to Justin Morneau while your roots grow out. Lima Time is about driving your poor fans to despair, about the tragic, epic sucking time of a noble organization. That's what Lima Time's all about, Batgirl."
"Oh." Batgirl frowned. "Really?"
As one, Goober, Sooz, Jeb, and the Batkitties nodded.
"Well," said Batgirl. "Never mind then."
Well, how about them Twins? Let's all join in Tony Gwynn's prayer. Chacaron! Ha first to comment!
Posted by: Hannah (the second) at August 30, 2005 10:18 PMDidnt Lima win 20 one year with the Astros?What happened to him?
Posted by: reggie at August 30, 2005 10:22 PMDear Mr./Ms. Reggie,
The Royals are not exactly fantastic this year. They are last place in runs scored in the American League.
~Hannah~
Posted by: Hannah (the second) at August 30, 2005 10:26 PMWell, at least Batgirl doesn't have to worry about whether to color her facial hair too.
I'm sure that's gotta be very distracting for Mr. Lima.
Posted by: bubblemint at August 30, 2005 10:27 PMHey now, lets not pick on the Royals, I believe we've been there before...and you know what they say about Karma.
Posted by: twinsfan at August 30, 2005 10:32 PMI do sympathize with the Royals fans. However, I do have to say that Lima time kinda makes me giggle (and knowing Batgirl will write about him makes me giggle even more).
Posted by: Just Beth at August 30, 2005 10:35 PMI don't know, if Lima time is all about the twins scoring 7 runs in one game, I think it should be Lima time all the time.
Posted by: Bob at August 30, 2005 11:25 PMRight on. Aaaall the time.
I also empathize with those poor KC [s]sods[/s] fans. However, regardless of whether we've been there or not (even though we all know we have, but shh), it's still fun to, well, poke fun. ;) We've earned it, wouldn't you agree?
Anyway, what was all this I was hearing on 'CCO during the postgame show about chirping/barking at Ford (amongst other Twins batters)? The hell, man? After you throw a pitch [i]at[/i] him and not [i]to[/i] him? What an immature punk. (I can't stand stuff like that, so forgive me if I'm overly negative here.)
Posted by: FordHoiberg at August 30, 2005 11:34 PMP.S. Gasp! No codes? Or do we have to use instead of the brackets? Well, me post just looks downright silly now.. ;)
Anyway, cheers! To the Twins' win. Can't wait for Sunday - going to the game, sitting in section 129, fifteen rows up... 'tis gonna be great. Hopefully this winning streak will continue - at least we should be able to win tomorrow as well.
Posted by: FordHoiberg at August 30, 2005 11:39 PMUMMM BG - Nice dye job!
Posted by: talldrinkowater at August 30, 2005 11:42 PMYeah, BG, you totally look super hot with that blonde hair.
Posted by: sacky at August 30, 2005 11:53 PMThe smell of a newborn baby?
Posted by: Ryan at August 31, 2005 12:14 AMWOO! Great game! So it's not Batgirl time? ;)
Posted by: Stacy at August 31, 2005 01:18 AMFINALLY! We score runs for Silva! AND we won a game in nine innings!
Oh, and BG, nice hair :-D
Posted by: Candace at August 31, 2005 02:28 AMhey congratulations guys!
Posted by: noel at August 31, 2005 02:41 AMBG, the blonde is nice, but I think the red hair is a bit sassier. Just trying to be honest.
Posted by: ndtf at August 31, 2005 07:45 AMSee Batgirl - blondes don't always have more fun =)
I will say - when Jose's not being all wonky - he's nice to the kids - he does give lots of baseballs away during warm ups - that's cool!
Much love
Wonder Woman
I personally have a great fondness for the Royals as a team and truly enjoy our matchups. That being said, I think Lima is borderline mentally unstable and .. well... I wouldn't want to go out drinking with him...
Posted by: CapitalBabs at August 31, 2005 09:10 AMSigh..............
If only the Twins played the Royals every game from now to the end of the season, then they'd make the playoffs for sure! :)
Goober's right. Lima's a bad influence on a team that really can't afford bad influences.
I've always liked the Royals (I especially like their ballpark), and I feel bad for their fans. Through good times and bad, they always seem to have a lot of class...except Jose Lima.
Who does he talk to out there on the mound, anyway?
k-bro
Posted by: k-bro at August 31, 2005 09:27 AMRyan,
The smell of a newborn baby is amazing, wonderful, and awe-inspiring -- enough to make you *almost* forget the 2 AM wakeup screams and the piles of poopy diapers.
Which is sort of a metaphor for what BG was trying to say about the Royals... er... I think.
Helpfully,
MRG
Yeah, has Batgirl gone blonde, or is it just the sun?
Posted by: Roscoe at August 31, 2005 10:03 AMReggie,
Yes, Jose Lima did have a good season while he was with the Astros. It had something to do with pitching in the Astrodome (either 'cause it's really big or there was radioactive space goo leaking onto the balls, take your pick). Anyway, the next year the Astros moved into a ballpark even LNP would call a tight fit, and suddenly all those long fly outs Lima had been getting were home runs. He's never really been the same since, and as Cardinal fan, I can't say I'm sorry.
Love,
Redbird
In our household, Jose Lima is a star. Once upon a time, when YoungRD was sitting in the front row at the Metrodome and Lima was a bit pitcher for the Tigers, he had ltitle to do but sit on one of the folding chairs next to the dugout -- with the ballboy.
Well, Lima was handing out stuff -- busted bats, balls, etc., and offered one up to YoungRD, which took some effort because he had to stick his hands under the screen to get the ball Jose tossed to him.
Of course, yielding 7 runs to the Twins makes Lima that much more of a star!
Best, RD
Posted by: RonDavis at August 31, 2005 11:27 AMThis is almost totally off-topic, but the way Dan Gladden pronounces Emil Brown's name just bugs me. He says "E-mail" Brown. Over and over. C'mon, Dan. That's like somebody calling Dan Gladden "Din Glidden" or Torii "Terri." Sheesh.
Posted by: Jim H. at August 31, 2005 11:38 AM
I don't know. I had two newborn babies and they both smelled kinda weird.
I can't decide who young Gobble looks more like, Ricky Schroeder (before he became "Rick"), or the little brother from Growing Pains. Help me out here, people.
Posted by: TwinsGoddess at August 31, 2005 12:04 PMTwinsGoddess,
Really? I could have smelled mine all day. *shrug*
But, I only have one. When the second comes in Feb perhaps I can be more objective.
Odiferously,
MRG
I think Lima should try coloring his hair red. Perhaps the color would add some sass to his playing and really help the Royals.
Posted by: Renae at September 1, 2005 10:37 AM